That night, Quinn made her way to the wardrobe, followed by Bobby.

"Maybe if I just lock her in that stupid wardrobe, I can get some peace of mind around here." Bobby muttered as he watched Quinn walk into the wardrobe. He locked the door behind Quinn and waited for her please to let her out. When he heard nothing Bobby started getting suspicious. "Okay, what's the deal?" Bobby said as he opened the door and walked inside.

"Okaaay…this is getting weird." He noted as he ended up walking straight into a tree.

"Only Bobby could walk into a wardrobe and smack his head into a tree." Angelica noted.

"Wow….this is my kinda place!" Bobby said as he transformed into his ice form.

"If anyone starts singing the Snow Miser song." NEBULABELT said. "I'll do a parody of Manos: The Hands of Fate. I mean it!"

As Bobby looked around he barely noticed the reindeer-drawn carriage until it nearly run him over.

"Aww," Fred snapped his fingers. "Just missed!"

"Yow!" Bobby yelled as one sled went over his foot.

"Or not." Monet said with aplomb. "I guess that's what hit and runs were like before cars were made."

"Watch where you're driving you lousy little…dwarf?" Bobby gaped.

"I hate my life." TREVOR FITZROY muttered as he sat in the driver's seat, wearing an obviously fake beard and shrunk courtesy of Forge's shrink ray to dwarf size.

"Not as much as I do!" NEBULABELT shouted. "Now say your lines and do your part and I may restore you to your original size!"

Cursing under his breath, Trevor Fitzroy declared, "All hail Jadis! Queen of Narnia and Empress of the Lone Islands!"

Sitting in the carriage was…EMMA FROST in her diamond form.

"Of course it'd be Emma Frost." Lina said.

"White Queen, White Witch." Fred shrugged. "It works either way." Frost glared at them before kicking Fitzroy in the back of her head with her high heels.

"Miserable fool!" She spat, genuinely enjoying herself. "How could you be such an idiot? Don't you see that we have a son of Adam with us?"

"My sister didn't meet anyone like you." Bobby said as he looked at Frost, in her Hellfire Club clothes.

"Your sister? A human was in Narnia already? Crap. I mean, where are your siblings now? I'd just love to meet them!" Frost gushed

"Why do you want to meet them?" Bobby asked. "I'm the smart one!"

The entire audience burst out in derisive laughter. Even Frost snickered.

"I'll make you a prince, give you candy, make you ruler of the world, blah blah blah. Whatever floats your boat," She shrugged.

"Well taking candy from strangers and bringing young children to an older woman seem perfectly fine to me." Bobby said. "I'll do it!"

"Where's McGruff the Crime Dog when you need him?" Roberto wondered aloud.

"That's the spirit!" Emma Frost said encouragingly. "Have a Turkish Delight."

"What the hell's a Turkish Delight? Don't you have any Twix?" Bobby asked. Emma Frost narrowed her eyes.

"Here!" Frost said, jamming the candy in his mouth. "Enjoy!"

"MMMMFF!" Bobby said as he tried not to choke.

"I guess Kitty made those." Wanda guessed as she watched Bobby turn purple.

"And don't tell anyone you met me either!" Frost said. "Come on lackey." She snapped at Fitzroy as he grumbled and drove the sled away.

"Well, that went well." Bobby said cluelessly. He made his way back to the spot where he exited the wardrobe only to find Quinn waiting there.

"You found your way in too?" She asked. "That's great! Now we can bring the others!"

"Sure." Bobby lied. "That's really great." Bobby and Quinn made their way back through the wardrobe and were met by Scott and Rogue.

"Where were you two?" Scott asked.

"We went to Narnia! The both of us! Edmund can yell you! Tell 'em!" Quinn said, tugging on his arm. Scott and Rogue turned to Bobby.

"Don't look at me." Bobby said. "She's crazy!"

"Well, Duh." Pietro said, rolling his eyes. "That doesn't really answer the question though."

"I was just pretending, you know, going along with her little fantasy." Bobby explained. Quinn's eyes started tearing up.

"Even for Bobby this is low." Shane said. "To say nothing of cold!"

"You big jerk!" Quinn said as she kicked him in the shin and then ran off.

"OW!" Bobby winced, cradling his injured leg and hopping on one foot. "What did I do?"

"Do you want the short list, or the long?" Scott demanded. "We're going to go check on her. Could you possibly try acting like a decent human being sometime?" Scott and Rogue went after Quinn.

They found her crying in the arms of Professor Xavier, who looked on the verge of tears himself. "Please," he practically sobbed. "Don't send these little maniacs to me!"

"Sorry about this professor." Rogue said as she took Quinn's arm and led her to the door. "She's just been getting all worked up about this magical world she made up."

"She certainly seems to think it's real." Xavier said.

"And he's a telepath." Logan said.

"But, it's just ridiculous!" Rogue exclaimed. Xavier looked at her.

"Is it?" He asked.

"Yeah, I mean this is actually pretty tame compared to most of the stuff we do!" Jean noted.

Xavier went on. "Of your two siblings, who's more prone to lying? Which one does more stupid things?"

Scott and Rogue looked at each other. "Bobby." They said in a heartbeat.

"It's like Sophie's Choice For Dummies." Althea snorted.

"Well, then." Xavier said, clasping his hands together. "There you go! I mean that. Go." Scott and Rogue left, feeling very confused and wondering just how they were going to pay NEBULABELT back for this.

The next day saw the Pevensie children at play outside. "Do you think we can tunnel out?" Rogue asked.

"HEY! No escape attempts!" NEBULABELT shouted. "Just get on with it!"

"Hey, who wants a snowball fight?" Bobby asked as he created a snowball in his hands. "Ha!" He shouted as he tossed it at Scott. Scott snorted and blasted it with his optic blasts.

"Oh please, you'll have to do better than that!" He said.

"Okay, I will!" Bobby said as he threw another snowball at Scott. Scott ducked and a cold sounding splat was heard.

"Who threw that?" Ms. March bellowed. "When I get my hands on those freaks…"

"Way to go iceman!" Peter snorted.

"Great shot, deadeye!" Low Light called.

"Let's be anywhere but here!" Bobby gulped.

"Good idea, for once!" Rogue said.

"Inside!" Scott ordered. The four of them ran inside and searched high and low for a place to hide them all.

Finally, they found themselves in front of the wardrobe. "You've got to be kidding me!

Rogue groaned.

"We don't exactly have a choice here!" Scott said as the four of them squeezed their way into the wardrobe.

As they headed towards the back, they found that it was a lot farther than they originally thought. Soon, the four of them were standing in a snow covered forest.

"Wow…" Scott said.

"This is impossible…" Rogue gaped.

"Told ya!" Brittany stuck her tongue out. Scott blinked.

"That's right…you did." He said slowly. "Edmund!" He whirled on Bobby. "You lying little creep! Lucy was telling the truth! What's the matter with you?"

"Geez, where to start?" Betsy asked.

"Oh man, we could be here for hours!" Tarot exclaimed.

"All right, all right, I lied, so what?" Bobby snapped. "I'm sorry!"

"NO KIDDING!" The audience shouted at him.

"Hey, let's go visit Mr. Tumnus!" Brittany said. "He's the fawn I was telling you about!"

"Maybe we should leave while we still have the chance." Rogue advised.

"Pleeeease?" Brittany begged Scott.

"I don't see why not." Scott shrugged. Rogue rolled her eyes.

"This has the feeling of doom written all over it!" She moaned as she and her 'brothers' followed Brittany to Mr. Tumnus' home.

"Oh no…" Brittany said as they approached the house and saw it ransacked. They went inside and it looked even worse. Furniture was turned over, drawers were ripped open, books and belongings scattered on the floor, and claw marks everywhere.

"Looks like the Institute on a good day." Hank noted.

The Pevensies called Mr. Tumnus' name but there was no sign of him anywhere.

"Oh no, poor Mr. Tumnus!" Brittany said. "What could have happened to him?"

"Hey, there's a note on the door." Scott noted. He ripped it off and started reading. "The former occupant of these premises, the Faun Tumnus, is under arrest and awaiting trial on a charge of High Treason against her Imperial Majesty Jadis, Queen of Narnia, Chatelaine of Cair Paravel, Empress of the Lone Islands, etc. also of comforting her said Majesty's enemies, harboring spies and fraternizing with Humans. Signed Maugrim, Captain of the Secret Police. Love Live the Queen!"

"That doesn't sound good." Bobby observed.

"No, really. Ya think?" Rogue snapped.

"Is that the paw print of a wolf on the bottom there?" Brittany asked, pointing.

"Don't be ridiculous. Since when do wolves sign declarations with paw prints?" Rogue asked.

"Would you prefer they made their mark in the more traditional manner?" Scott countered.

"We already have that problem with Penny!" Jean groaned from the audience.

"Well, that's about it for Tumnus then." Bobby said. "Sucks to be him."

"Better than being Bobby." Lance chimed in. Brittany just glared at Bobby.

"We're not just going to abandon poor Mr. Tumnus! He saved my life!"

"From what? He was the one who was going to turn you in, in the first place!" Rogue pointed out.

"Plus we have no idea where he is or how to find him." Bobby added. Scott cleared his throat.

"Those points aside, we're still going to rescue him."

"Gee…" Brittany said. "If only we had a helpful, but cute animal guide to show us where to go!"

"Hidey ho neighbors!" TODD said as he hopped over. "I'm Mr. Beaver!"

"I guess they were out of helpful but cute animal guides." Wanda groaned.

"Why in the world did you make Toad the Beaver?" Doug asked. "It makes no sense!"

"Toad's like an animal, a beaver is an animal. Toads live in swamps, beavers build dams in swamps…it was close enough." NEBULABELT said. "Continue!"

"Do you know Mr. Tumnus?" Brittany asked.

"This isn't something we should talk about out in the open." Todd said. "Besides, being an amphibian really stinks when it's cold out!"

"As opposed to you stinking all year round?" Scott quipped. Todd glared at him.

"Fine. I'll just leave you out here to be caught and gnawed to death by the wolves. Have fun with that."

"Wait, wait. He didn't mean it." Brittany said, batting her eyes and pouting. "Pleeease help us, we need to help Tumnus!" Todd sighed.

"Follow me." He said as he hopped along.

"So long as we stay downwind." Rogue muttered as the four Pevensie children followed the 'Beaver' through the woods to his home. They all stared at the cozy little dam he had made on a frozen lake, not far from a fallen waterfall.

"Oh…Here we go off to Beaver Falls, Beaver Falls, Beaver Falls! Here we go off to Beaver Falls so early in the morning!" Everyone in the audience sang, swaying in their seats.

"Cut that out!" NEBUALBELT shouted. "No MST3K gags!" (&)

"Nice place." Brittany said as they approached.

"Beaver! Where are you?" ALTHEA said as she opened the door. "Where have you been? I've been worried sick!" Then she gasped when she saw who was with Todd. "Are those…?" Todd puffed up with pride.

"Look who I found! The Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve."

"Oh my." Althea said as she started smoothing her hair. "You should have told me that we'd have company."

"Trust me, it wouldn't have helped any." Bobby snickered. Todd clenched his hand into a fist and prepared to punch his face in.

"No, no 'Beaver!'" Althea said. "No punching the saviors of Narnia!"

"Saviors of Narnia?" Scott asked as they went inside. "What do you mean? And what happened to Tumnus?"

"The Witch's Secret Police picked him up. What didn't you read the note?" Todd asked. "Pay attention."

"The White Witch turns her victims into statues." Althea explained.

"Pigeons are probably pooping on him as we speak." Todd said mournfully. Brittany looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Can't we do anything?" She asked.

"There's nothing that can be done for him, at least, not until Aslan arrives and the Prophecy is fulfilled."

"Care to elaborate a little?" Rogue asked.

"The prophecy is that when four humans, two Sons of Adam and two Daughters of Eve, appear in Narnia it means the end of the White Witch's hundred year rule and you four will become the Kings and Queens of Narnia!"

"Okay. So we're here. Case closed, can we go home now?" Rogue asked.

"Let me amend that. As soon as you help Aslan defeat the Witch, then you can go home. Simply huh?" Toad asked.

"Okay, I'll bite—"

"Ooh, kinky!" Remy called out; then screamed when Rogue hurled a chair at him.

"—Who is Aslan?" Rogue finished, smiling slightly over Remy's moans of pain.

"Aslan's the ruler of all Narnia, duh!" Todd said. "And Aslan's coming back to totally kick the Witch's tail!" Scott looked at him oddly.

"You must've made a mistake, we're no fighters—"

"Amen to that!" Lance shouted out.

"—or royalty." Scott finished with a glare.

"I don't know, Summers can be a royal pain!" Fred chortled.

"This is nuts. What do you think Bo—er, Edmund?" Rogue asked. "Not that I care. Edmund?" He was gone.

"Where'd he go?" Brittany asked. Todd looked nervous.

"Has your brother ever been to Narnia before?" He asked.

"I don't like the way you said that." Rogue commented.

"Yeesss…" Brittany said slowly.

"Crap." Todd commented simply. "He's gone and betrayed us to the Witch!"

"Whoa, didn't see that coming!" Lance said dryly.

"Yeah, I mean it isn't like it was COMPLETELY OBVIOUS or anything." Shane shouted.

MEANWHILE…

"Man, good thing I have my ice form, or else this might be unpleasant." Bobby said as he happily strolled through the frozen woods.

When he reached the Witch's ice castle he walked through the front door and into the main courtyard. It was full of statues made of…

"Are these diamonds?" Bobby asked excitedly. "Man, I could make a fortune if I just stole a couple of fingers!"

"Does anyone else find that line a little disturbing?" Dead Girl asked.

"Hey, I thought the witch was supposed to turn people into stone, not diamonds!" Everett noted. NEBULABELT shrugged.

"Hey, it's Emma Frost! Diamonds make more sense for her. Besides, you know what they say…diamonds are a girl's best friend!"

"Know we know." Pietro nodded.

"And knowing is…" Fred started to say.

"Another reason to go hit the bar later." NEBULABELT groaned. "Carry on."

Among the statues are CALLISTO, CALIBAN, LUCID, SCATTY, PORTAL, FAÇADE, SCALEFACE, and several other MORLOCKS. They were trapped in horrified poses with contorted expressions as they stood frozen—"Talk about life imitating art," Lance muttered—and totally unaware of the world around them.

"Boy, I envy them right now!" Jubilee groaned.

Bobby looked around. "I wonder how much I could get away with before the Queen noticed," He mused as he kept walking. Not looking where he was going, he was taken totally by surprise when a wolf knocked him down and growled in his face.

"Who are you?" RAHNE snarled at him. "I am Maugim, Captain of the Queen's Secret Police and if you do not answer me I'll gnaw your face off!"

"I'd like to thank Trinity for coming up with something to allow Rahne to speak when in wolf form!" NEBULABELT chimed in. "Makes this part really work!"

"As if he was going to put anyone else in this part." Angelica noted. "Of course he'd give Rahne a prominent role!"

"Wow, Rahne's really getting into her role, isn't she?" Sam asked.

"Bobby must've frozen up the girls' bathroom again." Tim guessed correctly.

"Please!" Bobby whined piteously. "Don't hurt me! The White Queen told me to come! I'm a Son of Adam!"

"You're a son of a something, I'll give you that." Rahne growled as she let him up. "Follow me."

Bobby trudged behind Rahne, until she brought him to the Witch's throne room. When Emma Frost saw Bobby enter without his siblings, she was enraged.

"Useless! Incompetent fool!"

"What did I do?" Fitzory the dwarf groaned. Emma glared at him.

"Not you! For once!" Turning her attention back to Bobby she glowered. "I asked you to do one thing…bring your siblings. Not too challenging a task to remember, now was it?"

"For Bobby, tying his shows is too challenging." Pietro cracked.

"But I did bring them! Part of the way at least. They're over at the Beaver's dam plotting your overthrow and talking about some guy named Aslan." Bobby said. "Can I have more candy now?"

"Way to keep your eyes on the prize ice-cube brain." Pyro snorted.

"Note to self: never include Bobby in on any conspiracies." Kitty said. "Even Jamie can keep secrets better than that!"

"On the other hand, it's useful to know that he's easily bribable." Spyder countered.

The White Witch looked outraged. "ASLAN? Coming here? Driver, ready my sled!" She screamed at Fitzroy. "Summon my wolves and send them to the Beavers!"

Rahne and the Bayville wolves, including AIDEN and LOBO appear,

"How much do you wanna bet that Rahne is enjoying the chance to boss around Aiden and the rest of them wolves?" Sam grinned.

"A good chance." Lina said. The wolves threw their heads back and howled ferociously before charging out the door and towards the Beavers' home..

"So, no candy?" Bobby asked.

&&&

A/N: (&) There was an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 where Mike and the robots did that very routine when they heard the movie mention a place called (no joke) Beaver Falls.

I don't own MST3K and I don't own the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Forgot to say that earlier. The X-Men, GI Joe, et al are © to their respective owners and the Misfitverse is © to Red Witch.