Survivor: Redwall
Episode One
By: Catty Engles Name: Broggle
Question 1: What could you provide your team with in the means of survival?
Broggle: Well, I'm a cook, and not half bad at stitching and stuff.
Question 2: Do you think that you'd be able to survive in the wilderness on your own?
Broggle: Hmm, I'd have to leave that one up to Fwirl.
Name: Fwirl
Question 1: Is it true that you lived by yourself before coming to Redwall?
Fwirl: Yes, for a long time, but I'm much happier now that I'm here.
Question 2: How do you think you'll measure up when it comes to individual challenge time?
Fwirl: I'll just hope I make it to that!
Name: Arven
Question 1: I hear that you have borne the Sword of Martin, do you think this means anything in survivor?
Arven: It's taught me leadership and that bonds of friendship aren't broken easily.
Question 2: What interests you most about this game?
Arven: What it takes to win.
***
Host: Welcome good creatures all, my name is Catty Engles. I'll be your host. (Catty has miraculously been transformed into a mouse because she didn't want to deal with the Redwallers meeting a human- too much work) I'm sure you'd all like to know what you'll be playing for.
Martin, Mariel, Joseph, Dandin, Dotti, Deyna, Cregga, Song, Gonff, Triss, Mathias, Viola, Broggle, Fwirl, and Arven: Yes!
Catty: (Pauses for effect) 1 million dollars!
Martin, Mariel, Joseph...(aww geez, let's just call 'em "Audience"): Wohoo!
Catty: I know I'm shamelessly introducing the peaceful Redwall community to everyday economic life of want and demand, but anyway... 1 million dollars is a lot of money!
Audience: Wohoo!!!
Catty: But we're not just giving this stuff away. Oh no, you'll be here for days. (Gesturing to a suddenly tropical island that replaced Mossflower woods) And will face numerous challenges, by which at the conclusion of each few days you will have one less member. If you know how Survivor is set up, you'll know that there are generally two teams of equal number of players. Can anybeast tell me how many beasts are here?
Song: Fifteen.
Catty: Can anybeast tell me why this is bad?
Martin: It's not even.
Catty: Correct. This means you will not split evenly into teams. This doesn't mean we're sending home only one of you before we choose teams (Pauses for effect again) it means we're sending home five.
Audience: (mutters and outraged shouts of unbelieving)
Gonff: Why?
Catty: Because the remaining players will be only one team, because we've already prepared the other team of opponents, because ten is one of my favorite numbers, take your pick.
Triss: What do you mean you've already prepared the other teams?
Catty: You'll just have to wait and find out, won't you?
Dotti: Well why don't you stop baitin' us and give us the flamin' challenge!
Catty: Good point. You're first challenge has been set up behind you. (Audience turns to look) There are fifteen rafts with ten balloons tethered to the bottom of the ocean in front of each. (The rafts are about four feet out into the ocean. The balloons are actually hard, red, and plastic, no bigger than a coconut. They are tethered to a stake in the ocean floor, arranged in a column, progressively getting deeper. The rafts, three feet by three feet, are there to store the balloons) The idea is to be the first one to get back on dry land with ten balloons. First ten with ten balloons are in the first tribe. Go.
Audience: (Some look astounded for a moment. The beach is at least ten meters away and no one's been assigned rafts, no definite rules have been laid out, nothing. It's all very vague.)
Martin: (starts running) C'mon pouchy face, move yerself!
Gonff: Hey, I resemble that remark! (laughing, he takes off after Martin)
The rest: (start running)
Catty: (To camera) The rules didn't cover much, it's a free-for-all out there. Anyone can take any balloon, not just the ones that are lined up in front of their raft.
What follows is a detailed (hopefully understandable) blow by blow description of Challenge One:
(A tussle breaks out between Fwirl and Song over which raft is who's.
Martin and Gonff are neck and neck, both hauling in two balloons with one breath.
Triss has swum out to the very farthest balloon, assuming that they're deeper out far and that she'll be able to conserve energy better this way when she gets tired later on.
Cregga already has five.
Dotti realized there's nothing stopping her from taking others' balloons. She steals one from Deyna who, laughing, steals one of hers back. Systematically, they both collect ten balloons from both of their columns and one each from Broggle's who is nearby.
Mariel, Dandin, and Joseph are working together, having realized the error in the directions right from the start. Collectively they've hauled in fifteen but it seems no one's going back without the others.
Fwirl finally gets into the water, followed closely by Song. They don't even claim a raft to lay their balloons on. They steal from the balloons laying unprotected on the rafts, quickly collecting ten this way. They scurry back to shore.
Cregga becomes the third member of the new tribe with all of her ten balloons that she collected from just one column.
Gonff finds all of his eight balloons missing, stolen by Song. Martin has just collected his tenth. Dotti and Deyna both find all theirs gone as well. Broggle is floundering in the water, coming up with barely two all this time. Martin steals and tosses Broggle's two to Gonff then swims back to shore, becoming the fourth member.
Mathias is robbed of his accumulated seven by the tricky Gonff, who swims back to shore, congratulating Martin on a job well done.
Mariel, Dandin, and Joseph have finally acquired thirty when Dotti and Deyna take five, to add to their collected five each, swimming back to shore they empty their holds for counting.)
Catty: Good job Deyna and Dotti, go stand over there with your new team- mates, Martin, Cregga, Song, and Fwirl. That'll be five members so far.
Gonff: Hey, what about me?
Catty: (looks at his pile of balloons) You only have nine.
Gonff: (blanches, does a quick count then jumps back into the water)
Martin: Go, Pouchy!
(Mariel is outraged at Dotti and Deyna for taking ten of their thirty balloons. Joseph, being the loving father he is, lets Dandin and Mariel have ten each of the remaining twenty, setting off to try and scrounge ten from the dwindling amount of balloons.
Gonff is but a streak of white-water as he makes a bee-line for Mathias' raft, on Joseph's tail, literally. Mathias protects his three balloons steadfastedly, harassed by Arven, Gonff, Joseph, and Triss.
Triss has eight, Joseph none, Gonff nine, and Arven five. They keep up a steady stream of stealing and stealing back, all four of them in the water.
Gonff, who had left his nine on the shore, quickly procures his last balloon and swims back to shore. Joseph and Arven keep fighting, Broggle half-heartedly joining the tussle a little time later, with Mathias still protecting his three, unable to get any more.
Triss has disappeared. She knows there must be more balloons still on the tether lines, and she finds them. The two farthest away balloons on Deyna and Dotti's columns are still there. She grabs both of them and kicks frantically back to shore.
Fwirl is yelling desperately to Broggle to "put some back-bone into it!" Gonff makes it back to the shore, throwing his last balloon onto the pile.)
Martin: Good job you realized you're mistake, huh Gonff?
Gonff: Yeah, and good things those blokes didn't.
Dotti: And what mistake is that, pray tell?
Gonff: (hops up and bows to Dotti) Why, stealing from the prince of mousethieves, of course! (he dances a little and with a flourish reveals eight more balloons that he pinched from Arven and Mathias)
(At about this time, Joseph, Arven, Broggle, and Mathias have realized that they're fighting for no balloons because Gonff's taken all of theirs. They cast around frantically looking for more balloons. They spot Triss, kicking frantically for shore, in possession of ten balloons. They strike out after her though it's already too late for pursuit. Triss staggers onto shore, clutching ten balloons and becoming the tenth member of the tribe)
Catty: Well done, well done. Joseph, Arven, Broggle, and Mathias, I'm sorry. Please leave the island immediately. (She points at the schooner waiting nearby)
(Joseph nods to Mariel and Dandin. Mariel's fists clench in anger. Dandin sighs and waves enthusiastically after Joseph. Broggle blows a kiss to Fwirl mouthing "good luck")
Song: Wait a second. That's only four. Where's the fifth player who's been eliminated?
Catty: Already on the schooner. Viola didn't want to get wet.
(Viola is sitting prettily on the schooner, straightening her dry-clean only pinafore)
***
A/N- Yeah, 'Lady Storm', I don't like Gonff/Martin slash either. You won't find any of that here, but I think they're good friends, so they'll joke a talk and stuff. I'm sorry Broggle was kicked out so fast 'Gonff and Broggle are the best.' All of you who told me who you're rooting for, thank you very much! You'll be able to influence the voting when the time comes. Meat the other team in the next episode of Survivor: Redwall.
Episode One
By: Catty Engles Name: Broggle
Question 1: What could you provide your team with in the means of survival?
Broggle: Well, I'm a cook, and not half bad at stitching and stuff.
Question 2: Do you think that you'd be able to survive in the wilderness on your own?
Broggle: Hmm, I'd have to leave that one up to Fwirl.
Name: Fwirl
Question 1: Is it true that you lived by yourself before coming to Redwall?
Fwirl: Yes, for a long time, but I'm much happier now that I'm here.
Question 2: How do you think you'll measure up when it comes to individual challenge time?
Fwirl: I'll just hope I make it to that!
Name: Arven
Question 1: I hear that you have borne the Sword of Martin, do you think this means anything in survivor?
Arven: It's taught me leadership and that bonds of friendship aren't broken easily.
Question 2: What interests you most about this game?
Arven: What it takes to win.
***
Host: Welcome good creatures all, my name is Catty Engles. I'll be your host. (Catty has miraculously been transformed into a mouse because she didn't want to deal with the Redwallers meeting a human- too much work) I'm sure you'd all like to know what you'll be playing for.
Martin, Mariel, Joseph, Dandin, Dotti, Deyna, Cregga, Song, Gonff, Triss, Mathias, Viola, Broggle, Fwirl, and Arven: Yes!
Catty: (Pauses for effect) 1 million dollars!
Martin, Mariel, Joseph...(aww geez, let's just call 'em "Audience"): Wohoo!
Catty: I know I'm shamelessly introducing the peaceful Redwall community to everyday economic life of want and demand, but anyway... 1 million dollars is a lot of money!
Audience: Wohoo!!!
Catty: But we're not just giving this stuff away. Oh no, you'll be here for days. (Gesturing to a suddenly tropical island that replaced Mossflower woods) And will face numerous challenges, by which at the conclusion of each few days you will have one less member. If you know how Survivor is set up, you'll know that there are generally two teams of equal number of players. Can anybeast tell me how many beasts are here?
Song: Fifteen.
Catty: Can anybeast tell me why this is bad?
Martin: It's not even.
Catty: Correct. This means you will not split evenly into teams. This doesn't mean we're sending home only one of you before we choose teams (Pauses for effect again) it means we're sending home five.
Audience: (mutters and outraged shouts of unbelieving)
Gonff: Why?
Catty: Because the remaining players will be only one team, because we've already prepared the other team of opponents, because ten is one of my favorite numbers, take your pick.
Triss: What do you mean you've already prepared the other teams?
Catty: You'll just have to wait and find out, won't you?
Dotti: Well why don't you stop baitin' us and give us the flamin' challenge!
Catty: Good point. You're first challenge has been set up behind you. (Audience turns to look) There are fifteen rafts with ten balloons tethered to the bottom of the ocean in front of each. (The rafts are about four feet out into the ocean. The balloons are actually hard, red, and plastic, no bigger than a coconut. They are tethered to a stake in the ocean floor, arranged in a column, progressively getting deeper. The rafts, three feet by three feet, are there to store the balloons) The idea is to be the first one to get back on dry land with ten balloons. First ten with ten balloons are in the first tribe. Go.
Audience: (Some look astounded for a moment. The beach is at least ten meters away and no one's been assigned rafts, no definite rules have been laid out, nothing. It's all very vague.)
Martin: (starts running) C'mon pouchy face, move yerself!
Gonff: Hey, I resemble that remark! (laughing, he takes off after Martin)
The rest: (start running)
Catty: (To camera) The rules didn't cover much, it's a free-for-all out there. Anyone can take any balloon, not just the ones that are lined up in front of their raft.
What follows is a detailed (hopefully understandable) blow by blow description of Challenge One:
(A tussle breaks out between Fwirl and Song over which raft is who's.
Martin and Gonff are neck and neck, both hauling in two balloons with one breath.
Triss has swum out to the very farthest balloon, assuming that they're deeper out far and that she'll be able to conserve energy better this way when she gets tired later on.
Cregga already has five.
Dotti realized there's nothing stopping her from taking others' balloons. She steals one from Deyna who, laughing, steals one of hers back. Systematically, they both collect ten balloons from both of their columns and one each from Broggle's who is nearby.
Mariel, Dandin, and Joseph are working together, having realized the error in the directions right from the start. Collectively they've hauled in fifteen but it seems no one's going back without the others.
Fwirl finally gets into the water, followed closely by Song. They don't even claim a raft to lay their balloons on. They steal from the balloons laying unprotected on the rafts, quickly collecting ten this way. They scurry back to shore.
Cregga becomes the third member of the new tribe with all of her ten balloons that she collected from just one column.
Gonff finds all of his eight balloons missing, stolen by Song. Martin has just collected his tenth. Dotti and Deyna both find all theirs gone as well. Broggle is floundering in the water, coming up with barely two all this time. Martin steals and tosses Broggle's two to Gonff then swims back to shore, becoming the fourth member.
Mathias is robbed of his accumulated seven by the tricky Gonff, who swims back to shore, congratulating Martin on a job well done.
Mariel, Dandin, and Joseph have finally acquired thirty when Dotti and Deyna take five, to add to their collected five each, swimming back to shore they empty their holds for counting.)
Catty: Good job Deyna and Dotti, go stand over there with your new team- mates, Martin, Cregga, Song, and Fwirl. That'll be five members so far.
Gonff: Hey, what about me?
Catty: (looks at his pile of balloons) You only have nine.
Gonff: (blanches, does a quick count then jumps back into the water)
Martin: Go, Pouchy!
(Mariel is outraged at Dotti and Deyna for taking ten of their thirty balloons. Joseph, being the loving father he is, lets Dandin and Mariel have ten each of the remaining twenty, setting off to try and scrounge ten from the dwindling amount of balloons.
Gonff is but a streak of white-water as he makes a bee-line for Mathias' raft, on Joseph's tail, literally. Mathias protects his three balloons steadfastedly, harassed by Arven, Gonff, Joseph, and Triss.
Triss has eight, Joseph none, Gonff nine, and Arven five. They keep up a steady stream of stealing and stealing back, all four of them in the water.
Gonff, who had left his nine on the shore, quickly procures his last balloon and swims back to shore. Joseph and Arven keep fighting, Broggle half-heartedly joining the tussle a little time later, with Mathias still protecting his three, unable to get any more.
Triss has disappeared. She knows there must be more balloons still on the tether lines, and she finds them. The two farthest away balloons on Deyna and Dotti's columns are still there. She grabs both of them and kicks frantically back to shore.
Fwirl is yelling desperately to Broggle to "put some back-bone into it!" Gonff makes it back to the shore, throwing his last balloon onto the pile.)
Martin: Good job you realized you're mistake, huh Gonff?
Gonff: Yeah, and good things those blokes didn't.
Dotti: And what mistake is that, pray tell?
Gonff: (hops up and bows to Dotti) Why, stealing from the prince of mousethieves, of course! (he dances a little and with a flourish reveals eight more balloons that he pinched from Arven and Mathias)
(At about this time, Joseph, Arven, Broggle, and Mathias have realized that they're fighting for no balloons because Gonff's taken all of theirs. They cast around frantically looking for more balloons. They spot Triss, kicking frantically for shore, in possession of ten balloons. They strike out after her though it's already too late for pursuit. Triss staggers onto shore, clutching ten balloons and becoming the tenth member of the tribe)
Catty: Well done, well done. Joseph, Arven, Broggle, and Mathias, I'm sorry. Please leave the island immediately. (She points at the schooner waiting nearby)
(Joseph nods to Mariel and Dandin. Mariel's fists clench in anger. Dandin sighs and waves enthusiastically after Joseph. Broggle blows a kiss to Fwirl mouthing "good luck")
Song: Wait a second. That's only four. Where's the fifth player who's been eliminated?
Catty: Already on the schooner. Viola didn't want to get wet.
(Viola is sitting prettily on the schooner, straightening her dry-clean only pinafore)
***
A/N- Yeah, 'Lady Storm', I don't like Gonff/Martin slash either. You won't find any of that here, but I think they're good friends, so they'll joke a talk and stuff. I'm sorry Broggle was kicked out so fast 'Gonff and Broggle are the best.' All of you who told me who you're rooting for, thank you very much! You'll be able to influence the voting when the time comes. Meat the other team in the next episode of Survivor: Redwall.
