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Chapter Thirteen

"It's nice to know that our daughter isn't the only child with…" Sara mused.

"Eclectic taste?" Grissom supplied with a chuckle.

"I was going to say weird but that works. Gilbert's class is having a talent show next month."

"Does he have a talent?"

"Does having a near photographic memory count?"

"Hmm. Maybe he could take my tarantula. I could teach him to do a trick."

"Well, you'll definitely be transporting that. There's no way I'm touching that thing!"

Grissom carefully packed several of his cockroaches and the two headed west shift's end, making it to California in good time.

They made straight for the school off of the highway, in plenty of time before the show. Gillian pulled off her stunt without a hitch. Afterwards, Sara and Grissom were able to share lunch with Gillian and Gil. It was perfect.

Bidding the children farewell, with promises to see them when school was done for the day, Sara took over driving, taking the scenic route to her home.

Sara's California residence…

Sara's modest two story home wasn't anything like he'd imagined. Not that he had much of a reference. The Las Vegas residence was still a work in progress while the California house was very much a home.

The living and dining rooms consisted of earthy tones that was inviting as well as soothing. The furniture was overstuffed, deep blues and burgundies (stain resistant he was sure) and looked completely comfortable, while the kitchen was open and contained all of the modern gadgets you could imagine.

Photographs, some of which she had shared with him in Vegas, lined the mantel, describing each phase and every significant event in their lives. He moved on as he felt the familiar pang of sadness and a flash of anger return - a constant reminder of time lost. However, the feeling was quickly replaced with pride as he fingered the trophies and ribbons displayed on a corner shelf.

The children's rooms were splashed with bright primary colors and filled with an undeterminable amount of toys.

Grissom was taken aback when he discovered several photos of himself and a few with Sara taken during their time together at Harvard, on the children's nightstands. He had to admit, save for the gray hair and some additional weight, he had not changed much. It was no wonder Gillian recognized him effortlessly.

He fingered the picture of him and Sara at a carnival. They had taken a photo in a small booth. The picture had been enlarged and framed.

"That's Gil's favorite."

Grissom started at Sara's voice, he was lost in the sweet memory. He replaced the picture and turned to face her.

He didn't have to say anything, his disappointment, frustration and anger was written all over his face. Sara briefly wondered if there would ever come a time when he didn't hate her. "Mom's taking the children for dinner and a movie - if that's okay with you." She amended quickly. She would have to get used to sharing decision making.

The time before the twins returned home from school was spent in awkward silence as each unpacked their belongings. The children arrived home later in a flurry of activity but settled quickly into the routine that had been established well before Sara's move to Vegas.

"Gillian, you need to finish getting ready for the movie." She reminded her daughter after patiently listening to her describe her classmate's Show and Tell subjects. "Nana's waiting for you."

"I am ready."

"No you are not, because, I told you to change into your play shoes."

"But I want to wear sandals, Mommy!"

"Gillian, change your shoes, your feet always get cold in sandals. Your brother and grandmother are waiting for you."

"Daddy said that I could wear them." The little girl shot back while watching for her mother's reaction.

Grissom walked into the kitchen in time to catch the tail end of the exchange. Definitely in time to see Sara noticeably stiffen. He could not decipher her expression as their eyes briefly met.

"I figured it wouldn't hurt since she would be in a vehicle." He explained with a shrug.

Checking her temper, Sara slowly turned to her defiant daughter. "Gillian, go on ahead and wear the sandals, this time, but put your white tights on. When you get back home, we'll talk about what just happened. Now, have a nice time."

"Okay, Mommy." The little girl sighed heavily, understanding that her mother's words meant that she was probably in trouble. "Bye Daddy."

Grissom watched Sara reorganize the kitchen cupboard for several minutes before he spoke. "You're angry with me." He stated more than questioned.

She paused in her task at his words. He could tell she was trying to calm herself down.

"Grissom, it's been a long day. I'm going to take a hot shower. You, you should make yourself at home."

A half hour later, Sara emerged refreshed to find Grissom asleep, sitting on the couch. Whatever remnants of anger that hadn't been washed away during her shower, now completely faded. He looked adorable.

As if he felt her gaze upon him, Grissom's eyes slowly opened. "How was your shower?"

"It was just what I needed." She plopped down on the couch next to him.

There was a long silence before either spoke again.

"Sara. I want to apologize for earlier. I have a lot to learn."

"Don't worry about it." Sara threw over her shoulder as she got up and headed back to the kitchen."

"You're still angry."

"No. I don't know. It's just…I'm not used to having my decisions concerning my children undermined."

"I wasn't undermining your decision, Sara. I didn't know you had instructed her otherwise. It was a mistake."

"Well, then challenged." She snapped, knowing she was being unfair but she resented his interference.

Suddenly, he was angry. "Sara, she played both of us - it happens with kids all the time. But let's be clear on this…I've not expected to drop into the children's lives and start making colossal decisions in their lives. But I am their father, Sara and I want to have an active role in their lives. My absence has gone on long enough. So, while you can trust that I will always consult you regarding issues on a larger scale, in the future, I fully expect to be able to decide what type of shoes they can wear when they are in my custody."

Was that a threat? Sara wondered as she tried to digest his words. His use of the word custody bothered her. The word was very - legal. It was also a reminder that Grissom has had every right to, but had not pursued shared legal custody of the twins. He was their father and he should be able to make decisions in their lives. She had already cut him out of enough of time.

But why hadn't he made any move, legally, to become a permanent part of their lives? Though she thought highly unlikely, it would always leave open the possibility that he would leave them.

She knew with absolute certainty that Grissom loved his children and wanted them in his life indefinitely. She just did not know where she fit in anymore. Sara still very much wanted the life he promised her when they laid in each other's arms years ago on the other side of the country. He told her that he loved her - not long ago. If his feelings hadn't changed after all these years, they certainly hadn't changed over the last few weeks. She needed to show Grissom that she trusted him, completely, with all of their lives. The sooner the better so that they could move forward.

They stared at one another for several minutes before Sara spoke. "It's my turn to apologize. You are right; children do this all the time. God knows how many times my mother and I have gone through the same thing. It's just felt different with you…I guess."

"I know I have a lot to learn, but I'm going to need your help and patience."

"And you'll have it."

It was in that moment that the air became charged with a different type of energy."

"Uh, are you hungry?" She turned nervously, making busy with the hands that were itching to touch him. "You go on ahead and shower while I scrounge something up."

After scouring the kitchen for supplies. Sara settled on pasta and even added shrimp for Grissom. They chatted over dinner about work, the state of education today as well as options on schools for the children in Las Vegas.

He wasn't sure that he would feel comfortable in Sara's home - but he did. Her home was warm and inviting. This was the Sara he knew so long ago. Hair down, jeans and bare feet. By desert, there was no mistaking the renewed chemistry.

"Mother emphasized that she would call before they returned. So, we have some time." Sara hinted after they cleared away the dishes.

"Really?" Grissom returned with a devilish smile that released a hundred butterflies into her stomach. He still made her weak in the knees.

"Yes. Have you…seen my room?"

A while later, Grissom tried to relax in Sara's arms but something she said earlier, during their lovemaking, was still bugging him. "Sara?"

"Hmmm?" She mumbled in response almost asleep.

"When you left…back then…you said…"

"What is it?" She came fully awake and tensed immediately.

"You remember the note you left me?"

"I thought you said that you didn't want the details?"

"I thought I didn't…"

"But now?"

"Now, I think I want to know." I want to know why you keep lying to me. He wanted to say. "You said that there was someone else. Yet, you've mentioned more than once that there has never been anyone else. How is that possible?"

"Shit!" Sara sat up abruptly.

"Excuse me?"

"The kids are home." She went from terror, to relief, to panic in less than sixty seconds.

Terror because she knew where the conversation was going. Realistically, she realized that it would come up sooner or later. She had only hoped it would be much later - like possibly after they were married. So, she was temporarily relieved by the outside intrusion. However, the last thing she wanted was to be caught in a compromising position.

"What?" He was having trouble redirecting his thoughts.

"Mom and the twins are home. I don't want them to find us this way." She explained as she hastily searched for her discarded clothing.

"Sara?"

"This isn't the time. We need to get dressed. I don't want the children finding us this way!" Sara was on the verge of panic. Everything was happening too quickly.

She wasn't ready to lose everything yet - and she knew that she would once he found out the truth. Was it selfish to want just a little more time together? Hadn't they all suffered enough? She argued angrily inside, unable to stop the tears from escaping.

"Calm down, Sara. I think you're over reacting. We'll explain it to them. They need to get used to having me around."

"I don't want to confuse them."

"What is there to be confused about?" He questioned as he threw on his own clothing. "I am their father. You and I…are together."

"I know that, damn it! I just want to talk to them about this first. I don't want them jumping to conclusions."

Grissom watched Sara frantically redress. Why was she so upset? If the ultimate goal was for them to reunite as a family, why was she practically hyperventilating? Unless, things had changed that quickly. Did she still want him in her life, permanently or was she planning to disappear again later down the road? What in the hell was going on? He was tired if this roller coaster ride. He needed answers.

The door swung open as he tucked his tee shirt into his jeans.

"Daddy!" Gillian greeted as she jumped into her father's arms. "We had so much fun!"

"You did? Why don't you give Mommy and me a few minutes and we'll be out to hear every thing?"

"Okay. Daddy?"

"Yes, Sweetheart?"

"Why is your shirt on backwards?"