Ok so here is the next installment of I Don't Believe You. This chapter is going to become a turning point and dark Jack will be coming soon. Jate angst ahead So please read and review
CHAPTER 22
Kate snuggled down in the warm bed and looked over to see that Jack wasn't there. Getting out of bed she opened the bedroom door and heard voices coming from downstairs in the kitchen. She walked down the stairs and entered only to have her heart stop. Jack was sitting at the table with Tom.
"Hey Katie" Tom stood up to hug her and his front was all covered in blood. Kate gasped and stumbled backwards. She found herself being steadied by the strong hands of Jack. She turned around to look at him when she found herself in a cold metal room. Tom was standing next to her. He opened a door and pulled out a shelf and to her utter horror she saw Jack on the slab dead. Kate cried out and tried to touch him but something was holding her back.
"You killed him Katie just like you killed me" Tom said with a smile on his face that scared Kate.
She turned and Jack was behind her, she gasped at seeing him. "Why did you kill me Kate, you ruined me." With that Jack turned and walked out of the room. Kate tried to call to him but her voice was stuck in her throat. She ran after him and the big door slammed shut and he was gone.
Kate sat up gasping, her chest felt like someone put a weight on it. She glanced over and realized Jack wasn't there. She let her eyes adjust and it was still very dark so Kate figured it was in the middle of the night. She heard footsteps approaching and a few seconds later Jack came into the tent. He kicked his shoes off and disrobed leaving him only in his underwear. He turned to crawl into bed when he realized Kate was sitting up and watching him.
"Hey" he said sliding in next to her. "You should be sleeping" he said gently.
"You were gone" Kate said her voice still hazy from her slumber. All she could imagine was his accusing words and the sight of him dead. "I got cold and woke up"
"I'm sorry sweetheart" Jack said kissing the side of her head. He lay down and pulled her with him so her head settled on his chest. Kate lay rigid as Jack pulled the blanket tighter around her. "It's gotten cold tonight; we're probably in for some storms."
"Where were you?" Kate asked quietly.
"I just needed some fresh air" Jack said stroking her shoulder. Kate couldn't help but stiffen when he said that. She wasn't sure why but waking up from the horrific dream and not finding Jack there had put her in a bad mood.
"You needed to get away from me?" Kate asked.
Jack looked down at her shocked. He tilted her face up to his, "No, no baby that's not it at all. I woke up and couldn't sleep. I thought a quick walk on the beach might help me go back to sleep."
"You could have woken me up" Kate said somewhat grumpily. The dream had upset her and she was feeling suffocated and unfortunately Jack was quickly becoming her target to her mood swing.
Jack frowned slightly but figured if he was allowed to be crabby and in dark moods so was Kate. He kissed the top of her head in hope of appeasing her. "I know but you looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you. I'm sorry if I upset you." Jack said gently.
Kate felt frustrated and that was making her crankier. She hated that she depended so much on him that waking up without him was enough to send her in a tizzy. Kate recognized the feelings growing inside her; she was spoiling for a fight. She usually got this way when her flight reflex was in bloom. Kate didn't want to run from Jack though, everything was perfect and she was happy. Perhaps that was the problem, every time something good happened to her she would get comfortable and happy and then out of nowhere it would always end badly.
Kate pulled away from him and sat up. Jack watched her carefully and sat up next to her.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jack asked watching her.
"Do you?" Kate asked almost bitterly.
"Do I want to talk about what?" Jack asked confused.
"I don't know you're the one with all the secrets. Why don't we talk about those, I told you everything about me but it seems there is a lot to learn about you. How about Asia or South America or perhaps we should talk about all the women you've screwed that you so elegantly put it" Kate said somewhat harshly. It was like she was being taken over by another being and it was using her to talk and act. Kate didn't want to be nasty to him but she felt like the walls were closing in and she couldn't breathe. She hated this, why did she always have to push the good things away? Throughout her life she had always sabotaged the good things and even when she fought tooth and nail to not do it she always would. Here she was with a beautiful man who loved her and she loved him but all she could think about was getting away. Just like the day she kissed him in the jungle it was so perfect but she had run from it.
Jack took a deep breath, something was setting Kate off and he didn't know what it was. She was hard to read when she got like this and it hurt when she shut him out.
"What do you want me to say?" he asked feeling lost. "It's not that I don't tell you these things to hurt you, I just, I don't know they're not moments I'm real proud of." Jack said looking at her. "Do you want me to talk about it?"
Kate sat for a second, dammit why was he so good to her? Even when she was acting like a bitch he always managed to try to comfort her. She didn't want his comfort she wanted him to leave her alone. It was the stupid nightmare, anytime she thought of Tom and how she killed him it made her want to run. Throw in the thought of Jack dying because of her and Kate was on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
Kate felt like she couldn't breathe, she sprung from the bed and quickly threw her clothes on. Jack quickly followed her and gently grasped her arm.
"Kate where are you going?" he asked trying to get her to look at him.
Kate wrenched from his grip, "Don't touch me" she practically snarled at him.
Jack took a step back. "Kate come on talk to me, tell me what you what you want me to do." He pleaded with her.
"I want you to stay away from me" she said grabbing her stuff.
"Kate, I don't understand, we were happy earlier tonight, what went wrong?" Jack asked feeling desperate inside.
Kate stopped and looked at him and the inner part of her that she hated with all her might came out. "You were happy Jack, you were happy." She said coldly. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I want out, that this just isn't going to work anymore" she said gesturing in between them. She continued, "I've wanted out for awhile now Jack, but every time I try to break free something happens like the whole Claire thing. I was stuck listening to you whine about your family and your crappy life while in reality I really could care less. Everyone has a crappy life Jack join the club." She sneered.
"Kate" Jack tried to talk to her but his voice caught in his throat. Had he really made her this unhappy?
Kate was out of control like a trapped animal and like a trapped animal she went for the jugular. "You were right to worry about my reaction to your past Jack. I tried to understand why you did the things you did but I can't anymore. You killed people for no reason Jack and when you talked about how you killed the Others it made me sick, you made me sick. I can't love someone like you." With that Kate fled from the tent. She wasn't sure how far she'd run but she knew it was far enough from him. She collapsed in the sand and sobbed in disgust and hatred for herself. How had things gotten so screwed up? They were happy earlier but her stupid dream, god dammit why does she do this. How could she use his worst fear against him what kind of monster was she? She sobbed hysterically almost expecting Jack to come for her but he never did.
Jack was still in the tent completely frozen, the look that had haunted him had entered her eyes. She had finally realized what a monster he was and had run from him. Jack could actually feel his heart shatter within his chest. He had hurt when Sarah had looked at him like that but to have Kate do it, well there were no words to explain the pain working its way through his body. He wanted to go after her but he was a coward, he couldn't stand seeing her look at him with disgust or talk to him like he was the lowest creature imaginable.
He dropped to his knees and buried his head in his hands and not for the first time cursed himself and his existence for driving her away. He thought back to all the time they had been together, he had sworn she had been happy. Perhaps it was his own blindness though, he had been happy and that had blinded him to how miserable she must have been. Jack felt the hot tears enter his eyes and he cried for what he could have had and what he drove away.
The next morning Kate came back to the beach she had showered and changed in the hatch into some clothes she had left there. She felt like an empty shell with no soul. She knew she'd see Jack and she wanted nothing more than to throw herself at him and plead for his forgiveness. But she couldn't do that, the dream last night had meant something. She would be the cause of Jack's death or misery. So she would stay away from him and give him a chance to live. Part of her hoped he'd fight for her but after the despicable lies she had thrown at him she figured he'd want nothing to do with her. She looked around the beach and saw no sign of him. She figured there was one more nail to hammer into the coffin and she knew it would set Jack free. She walked down the beach and stopped at her destination.
"Hey Sawyer" she said.
Jack had spent the whole night just staring at nothing at all. Every once in awhile he would come out of his catatonic state and he'd look over to the bed and expect to see her as if this whole thing was just a bad dream. She wasn't there though and his heart would break all over again sending him back in to his quiet coma like state. It was going on noon and he realized he should get up. He slowly got dressed as if his joints ached. He wondered if she was out there. Did she feel as miserable as he did? Perhaps she regretted last night as well and would be willing to talk to him. He pushed away the nagging voice in the back of his head that was telling him that she hated him and would never want anything to do with him again. He exited the tent and looked down the beach. He didn't see her right away anywhere. He stepped farther out and that was when he saw her. She was sitting in the sand next to Sawyer. Her shoulders were brushing against his as she threw her head back and laughed at something the southerner said. What was left of Jack's soul died as he watched Kate kiss Sawyer on the cheek, push him over and get up running and giggling as Sawyer chased after her. Jack looked down at the ground and felt the old feeling that he had pushed away so long ago overtake his body in a cold rush. He was officially dead inside.
Ok I know it was short and it wasn't very sweet but please don't flee the story yet, there will be more to follow.
