Episode Five Catty Engles

(Chetora sits around big communal fire in the center of the tribal council outcrop)

Catty: Grab a torch and light it. (Chetora obeys, sitting back down clutching long lighted torches flickering ominously) So, here you are. We all knew it would come eventually, but... what are your thoughts... Martin.

Martin: (shrugs, throws a glance at Gonff) I dunno, right now I just don't want to get voted off.

Catty: Why?

Martin: (looks uncomfortable) Well, nobody does, do they?

Catty: True, true, so, Mariel, has there been any... dissension in Chetora.

Mariel: (adamantly does not look at Dotti) Yes.

Catty: Care to expand?

Mariel: (glares at Catty) Not particularly.

Gonff: She's having a spat with Dotti.

Catty: Oh? Go on.

Gonff: (Mariel shoots him an icy glare and he closes his mouth abruptly. After a moment of silence, Catty decides to drop the subject)

Catty: Alright, I think we're ready, you all know how this is done? You write a name on the paper of whom you wish to eliminate. Majority rules, and decisions are final are you ready to vote? (Some look anxious some look eager, but all stare back at Catty un-answering. She murmurs something like 'might as well talk to the torches') Anyway, it's time to vote, Deyna you're up first.

(One by one, Chetora files off to a separate area, casting their votes and sitting back down. We take you now to some live commentary as the characters are voting.)

Dotti: (holds up her slip of paper, written boldly is Marial, purposely spelled wrong) Mariel, you got in my way. You're week and have no flamin' sense o' humor. No offense, but for my sake you have to go. (turns to sit down)

(Next contestant commentary)

Mariel: (holds up her paper with Dotti's name on it) Dotti, we don't agree, and teams have to agree to survive. Rather you than me.

(final insider commentary)

Gonff: (holds up paper with Song's name on it) I'm enjoying the Mariel/Dotti catfight too much, and you are just one stump on a log. Not much else to say this early in the game, except smokin' booty, babe! (winks at camera)

(contestants commence voting)

Catty: I'll go tally the votes. (returns with hollowed out gourd) Once the votes are read the decision is final, that survivor will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately. (looks around for a second) I'll read the votes. (pulls slip of paper out of gourd) The first vote is... Deyna.

Deyna: (doesn't flinch, if you didn't know him better you'd say he was bored)

Catty: (disconcerted by the lack of reaction) Second vote... Song.

Song: (Her eyes flash under her, heavy-lids and long lashes)

Catty: Third vote... Mariel.

Mariel: (grinds her teeth, shooting murderous glares at Dotti)

Catty: Fourth vote... Song.

Fifth vote... Dandin.

Sixth vote... Dotti.

Seventh vote... Dotti.

Eighth vote... Dotti.

Dotti: (perks up at hearing her name three times in a row, she thought she was home free after the first four.)

Catty: (picks one of the remaining two votes from the gourd. Looks at it for a second. Turns it around slowly.) Second beast voted off of Redwall Survivor... Dotti.

Dotti: (gets up in a daze, but soon recovers her cheeky attitude. Blows a kiss to Mariel, who glowers) Mwah, g'luck, doll. (places her torch in front of Catty)

Catty: The tribe has spoken.

Dotti: (rolls eyes) Duh.

(She proceeds to the after council comment area)

Dotti: (to camerabeast Ruka) Well, I'm sad to be voted out so soon, but it was fun while it lasted. I just hope Mariel doesn't win. That would suck major Badger booty.

---Tinchatka- Destination 2---

Klitch: Gawd these ruddy gnats! (slaps bank mud all over him to quell the stinging nuisances)

Gelltor: (eats his portion of burnt rice delicately, looking disgusted at the slowly hardening mud-encrusted ferret.) That's stupid.

Klitch: (pouts) Is not!

Tsarmina: The stench will bring about twice the amount of gnats is what Gelltor is trying to say.

Gabool: (grumbles) Young whelp, not fit to be eaten by gnats.

Swartt: Stay in the firesmoke if you want to really be rid of them.

Klitch: (tries to look justly offended, fails, moves toward the downwind side of the fire.)

Ublaz: I'm not sitting next to a mound of dung. Go wash yourself.

(Klitch isn't convinced until Romsca extends her claws menacingly)

(Chetora and Catty arrive for the challenge. Chetora built camp upstream, having a more meager breakfast on the more meager winnings of their challenge.)

Catty: Morning! Enough beating 'round the brush, let's get right to it. Today's Reward/Immunity challenge isn't especially out of the ordinary, but interesting enough so our viewers will keep paying (er reading) to continue the show. Log rolling.

(general groans)

Catty: But it gets even more interesting after that. Log wrestling is to follow.

Badrang: Do you take us for some hodgepodge of country bumpkins?

Catty: Er, I'm not qualified to say. Anyway, line up here, you'll be "randomly" selected to face off against each other, then we'll progress to-

Gonff: Why did you make little finger signs around randomly?

Catty: Er, I'm not qualified to say, anyway, then will follow log wrestling. Contestants begin!

(The challenge is on the whole uneventful, although Cregga dominates from Chetora and Tsarmina from Tinchatka. Martin and Gonff (I say both because one cat-calls the other's opponent until he/she is so preoccupied with the thought of wringing so-and-so's neck that he/she falls off the log easy) also have an advantage. Klitch even holds his own against Deyna in log rolling. Mariel does exceptionally at logrolling, and this unfortunately qualifies her for a challenge with Ublaz. Needless to say this championship match looses Chetora the challenge.)

Catty: Aw, too bad, sorry Mariel. But you have a chance to redeem yourself! Your tribe has lost immunity (cheers from Tinchatka) but have yet the chance to gain the reward (boos from Tinchatka). Just beat the champion from Tinchatka in logrolling and wrestling.

(Chetora huddles. They've lost faith in Mariel, so choose Triss for log rolling and Cregga for wrestling. A gamble to say the best of it, but they are confidant they can instruct the blind badger.)

(Romsca has been chosen for log rolling and Ublaz once again for wrestling)

Catty: Before you play, I bet you would like to know what you are playing for. In port not ten meters off is a yacht equipped with all the necessities and more (points). You're team will enjoy a massage, dinner to rival Redwall's cooking, and bedding for the night. Chetora must only be defeated once to lose the reward to Tinchatka. Log-wrestlers ready? Begin!

(Cregga, though blind, old, and going senile, still manages to get a few good moves in on Ublaz, though he definitely has the upper hand because he maintains his sight.)

Deyna: Left marm, dodge, now come around on your right!

Gonff: Good good, now twist with your wrist!

Fwirl: He's off balance! Lung!

Song: Go, go, harder- you can do it!

Martin: Yes, beautiful move! (Cregga dumps Ublaz off the log)

(Cheers from Chetora)

Catty: Congratulations Cregga! Logrolling is up next, remember what is at stake here!

(Triss and Tsarmina take their positions on the log, staring each other down. Triss tries to start the log moving left, while Tsarmina cooperates by going right. The log soon jumps to an alarming rate. Both of their footpaws are flying!)

Song: (holding Fwirl's hand and yelling with all her might. Fwirl, Song, and Triss have developed a common bond from being all squirrelmaids) Go Triss!

Fwirl: C'mon! Kick that scardey-cat's little maggot infested-

Gonff: Ahem! Go Triss!

(Triss has the advantage with a big tail she flicks to keep her on balance. Tsarmina tries to execute a tricky reverse of movement, but Triss was in mid-air at the moment. Tsarmina's plan backfires and she plunges off the log)

(Chetora cheers wildly)

Catty: Chetora wins reward! I know all of you want to go on the cruise now, but Chetora has some messy business to attend to. Tinchatka, I will meet you at destination three. Chetora follow me to tribal council.

Hello, note from the Cat- Please don't send me stuff on who you DON'T want to get voted off because I don't give a pickled python (woops shouldn't have said that, oh well) I can only include votes that tell me who you DO want to get voted off. So support your character by bashing the other ones! What fun! So Chetora (good guys) is the tribe at council now. Do you want me to tell about the cruise next episode?