Chapter 4: Consequences.
A hungry Wario stormed down the dirt roads near Bob-omb Battlefield. Following behind at a jovial trot was the green Bob-omb who happened to not be leaving anytime soon. Much to the former's annoyance.
"So, Mr. Wario, was it?" The little creature was saying, "You said you're a treasure hunter, eh?"
Wario snorted indifferently, "I suppose. Yah.." Why do you care? He left those last words unsaid.
"How exciting! I never hunted treasure before!" The bomb chirped.
"Hm,"
Wario glared strictly on what was ahead, trying not to think about food.
"What have you collected? Anything cool?" the bomb chirped suddenly,
"Do me a favor and shut up,"
The Bomb's beady eyes balked at this, "Hey! You don't have to be so rude!"
"Yah? Well, I don't care"
"Come on! You're better than that,"
"Shut up!"
They walked in silence for some more. Taking in the sights. Trying not to look at each other. The sun shined on them, and the grass all around was a peaceful green. Wario's heavy stride kicked up poofy clouds of brownish dust, while the Bob-omb's faster pace allotted for smaller puffs. The wind up key in the bomb's back made an annoying mechanical ticking sound. Barely noticeable, and yet enough to peeve Wario off even further.
Stomp, stomp, stomp. Wario took his anger out on the ground, pounding with each step.
"RRrrrgghhh! There better be something to eat around here soon, or I'm going to snap!" Wario snapped,
The bob-omb felt a bead of sweat on its forehead. A bit reluctant to continue, but too far along to quit.
"W-well, I think there should be a restaurant in….ten minutes?"
"Ten minutes of walking, or driving?"
"Driving,"
Wario groaned. He looked down the road, hoping to come across a a ride to hitch, but there was nothing.
Then, on the horizon, a shape appeared.
It was a warp pipe, green in color. It nearly blended together with the bushes it was behind.
"Huh," Wario went to investigate, "Is this some kind of shortcut?"
"I dunno," Said the bob-omb. It had to stand on the tip of its toes to try and peer into the dark void inside. But in doing so, it quickly lost its balance and ended up planting its face in the metal pipe, "Ouch!"
Wario ignored the small creature, a smile growing, "Well, it's beats walking,"
He would've jumped inside right then and there. But a giant Piranha plant suddenly emerged from the pipe.
"Aiiee!" The bomb panicked, and rushed behind Wario.
The plant smacked its green lips. Hungrily leering into Wario's soul.
"Oh no! Not another blasted plant!" Wario snarled, and threw a punch.
The plant caught it with its mouth. Hard. The pain was unreal.
"AAAAAAWWWWWOOAAAAAAAAA!" Wario screamed. The plant's sharp yellow teeth bit further into his gloved fist.
With a sharp yank, he tugged his hand out of the plant's mouth. His glove was left behind to be devoured by the beast.
"Hah…hah…" wario gasped, clutching at his hand. Fortunately, it had not been punctured badly. This was thanks to his thick gloves, as well as the fact that he was born a superhuman.
He did not bleed because he was only ever in E rated games.
The green Bob-omb observed this exchange with its wide beady eyes.
"Uh, I think we should keep walking," it suggested.
The plant reinforced the suggestion by lunging at the two. It missed, but only due to the fact that it was restrained from being in its pipe.
Though the man was frustrated, in pain, and hungry, the gears in Wario's mind were already spinning. Then an idea came to him at once, and his eyes shone mischievously. His posture relaxed.
The bob-omb tilted its head back at him with confusion.
Wario then swiftly turned around and grabbed the bomb with his good hand, still gloved.
"Hey!" The bomb yelled, "Put me down!"
Wario only grinned even wider. With his non-gloved hand, he pulled out a lighter from his back pocket. The lighter had the emblem of a fire flower embalmed on its front.
The bomb struggled in Wario's fierce grip, but it froze once it caught a glance of the silver lighter.
"W-where did you get that?!" The bomb stammered.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Wario chuckled darkly.
Those big white eyes widened in rising horror. Then Wario flicked the lighter on, and a small orange flame appeared.
"What?! What are you doing?!"
Wario's smile was the face of death.
The lighter Wario had in his hand was a special one. It used fuel made from distilling a specific type of fire flowers in a factory. The process of which would convert them into a combustable oil. This allowed for hotter and longer fires, which made the item a valued possession. The thing must've cost Wario a small fortune to own. But he hadn't actually bought it with his own money.
In truth, he had stolen it from the famed thief Captain Syrup. It seemed Wario's old rival had no need for the thing. When she had sold it off in a yard sale, Wario promptly nabbed it whilst conveniently "forgetting" to pay. The bob-omb didn't know any of that. And Wario intended to keep it that way.
Not paying attention to the drooling plant. Wario ran the lighter's flame over the Green Bob-omb's fuse.
"Aah!" The bomb cried out in pain, "Wario! How could you?!"
It wiggled its legs in the air like it was trying to run. Tears streamed down its body, which was now flashing red. How adorably pathetic.
Wario laughed wickedly.
The thing sobbed, fuse sizzling. It knew what was to come.
"GET OUTTA HERE!" Wario yelled, and chucked the lit bomb at the piranha plant.
The explosion was fantastic.
In a world away, Waluigi drove down the highway faster than he ever had in his life. Fear was racing through his mind, sweat rolling down his forehead.
He had to escape, he had to escape.
But where? And from what? Waluigi had no idea. His paranoia was strong. A primal fear instilled from his traumatic encounter with the Sledge Bro.
Safety? Screw safety. He just needed to find Wario, and everything would be okay.
…Oh who was he kidding, Wario could be dead!
As Waluigi thought that, he could see flashing blue and red on the road ahead of him. A blockade—one made specifically for him it seemed.
(and It was)
"Of course," Waluigi said. He felt in his heart a pit of empty resignation. It swallowed him like a sinkhole.
Several human cops waited on the road, arms crossed.
As Waluigi screeched to a halt before them, he realized it was already too late.
"I hope you're happy," one of the cops said, approaching Waluigi as the latter stepped out of his car with his arms raised.
If Wario had been around, Waluigi would've been brave (or stupid) enough to fight back or escape. As things were now, he had given up.
His mind was full of grief, for abandoning Wario, and for even bothering to join him in the first place. Waluigi felt sick. His new handcuffs didn't help this.
As he sat in the cop car, he could feel his life slipping away like grains of sand in an hour glass. One moment, and then the next.
"I'm ruined!" He thought.
