Chapter 9: Wario died?
Elsewhere, Wario exits the apartment and begins to go to work.
It is a Tuesday. Bland. Boring.
He waves to the receptionist toad. She waves back.
They exchange pleasantries for a moment.
Then the moment ends.
Wario enters the garage.
He finds his car, entering it.
He begins to drive the car.
The world is gray. Dull. Black and white. There are no colors.
There is nothing of interest to discuss on the drive to work.
Wario goes to work. He works in a game producing company that he owns. The company is called Warioware incorporated. As of this writing, about twenty people work for Wario.
They are a small studio, but they have heart. So they say.
Wario clocks in, and begins his routine for the day.
He bosses around his employees. Looking at graphs and emails and documents.
Progress on games seems to be okay, but Mona isn't here to double check the art assets they had commissioned. It seems that Wario will have to do this himself.
He hates art. It disinterests him, for it doesn't earn him cash. Regardless, Wario sets forth to the job.
It is completed two hours later.
Wario then goes on lunch break.
He enters the lounge at 1:45 in the afternoon.
He was never seen again.
6:45. Later that day.
Upon police investigation of the lounge, it was discovered that everything looked in order. Minus the lack of Wario.
The only other anomaly found were six plates of chicken nuggets were on the couch. Lined up neatly in order. They were cold. Testing revealed that the nuggets had been cooked about 8 hours ago. No one in the office claimed to have procured the nuggets. There were no records of any of Wario's employees having ordered chicken nuggets during the entire day. The plates just seemed to appear on their own.
The plates were also purple. For some reason.
Within one of the nuggets was a sheet of paper. A bit like a fortune cookie, but just that it was a chicken nugget instead. The sheet of paper was blank. But taped to the back of the paper was an ID card.
On the card was this information:
Waluigi.
Age: 34
Residence: Mushroom Kingdom (this is scratched out)
Height: 6 feet, 5 inches.
weight: 110 pounds
Race: Human (this is also scratched out)
Born: 1999
(also on the card was a picture of the supposed individual. It was grainy, partially out of focus. The picture quality indicated that the camera model was at least ten years old. Or maybe that the photographer was an amateur.)
Police described the photographed man in their notes as "…most hideous….With a purple cap, grotesque pink nose, and skinny mustache,"
Police could not find any trace or evidence of the mysterious individual. They looked through their record books, only for the name Waluigi to be nowhere present.
The name Waluigi was absent from any census data. It was clear there was no info on the man outside the ID card. Perhaps he had used a fake name and a fake identity? The mystery could not be made clear.
After four years of hard research, no more confirmed information could be gathered.
The case was closed. Cold. Neither man would ever be seen again. Wario would be pronounced as dead. Waluigi would be filed as a missing individual and potential criminal, only to be legally declared dead after three years.
At Wario's funeral, Mario and Luigi were the among only ones who cared to show up. Despite being eternal rivals, they felt they had to pay him some respects.
Another man showed up briefly. Tall and lanky. He wore a long black trench coat. Luigi remembered shuddering at the man's appearance.
The man said nothing, only standing before the empty coffin.
Then, after a short silence. He left. Never to be seen again.
The timeline has been split. Something has ascended to create a hole in reality. And now all that's left are the glittering shards of what once was.
Or in other words, WHO THE HECK THREW A BASEBALL AT MY FAVORITE VASE?!
