Chapter 10: The truth
Author's note: Something has hijacked the narratio-
The rest of the message was filled with 35 redacted pictures of purple Chicken Nuggets
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Alright, enough bullshit. Enough crazy shenanigans. Here's the truth.
You want to know what has happened over the last few chapters of confusion? Well I'll tell you:
I DID IT!
THE TRUE CULPRIT WAS ME, WALUIGI!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY!
I WAS THE MAN IN THE TRENCHCOAT!
I WAS THE ONE WHO COOKED ALL THE CHICKEN!
IT WAS I WHO SPLIT THE TIMELINE, FRACTURING REALITY LIKE A BROKEN GLASS BOTTLE!
AND NOW I'M THE NARRATOR! WA HA HA!
BACK WHEN I WAS IN THAT CRUMMY PRISON, I WAS AT THE LOW POINT OF MY LIFE!
BUT GUESS WHAT?! I BROKE FREE FROM MY CHAINS.
I SAT AND MEDITATED. THINKING AND PONDERING THE TRUE NATURE OF EXISTENCE.
AND SOMEHOW, I WAS GIFTED WITH THE VISIONS….
THE BLESSINGS…
(the void is God, and God is I.)
TO PUT IT SIMPLY, I ASCENDED TO BECOME one WITH THE GOD OF THIS WORLD...
I SAW THE WORLD FOR WHAT IT TRULY IS.
Yes.. It is a beautiful place, but also painfully annoying!
PEOPLE ARE STUPID! THEY CHEAT! THEY LIE!
THOSE MISERABLE SNIVELING WELPS.
THOSE IDIOTIC APES.
WALUIGI WILL NOT TOLERATE LESSER LIFEFORMS THAN HIS OWN.
SO I USED MY NEWFOUND ABILITIES AS GOD TO ESCAPE THIS MORTAL REALM.
AND THEN I SHATTERED IT FROM THE OUTSIDE!
WAHAHAHA….! HA….
WALUIGI CARES NOT FOR YOUR OPINIONS OF HIS HANDIWORK. HE ONLY CARES FOR ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY…..
CHICKEN NUGGETS!
DURING MY ASCENSION TO GODHOOD, I WAS GIFTED WITH VISIONS OF CHICKEN NUGGETS. LINED UP ON A PLATTER. NEAT AND TIDY.
I REALIZED RIGHT THEN AND THERE, THAT CHICKEN NUGGETS WERE MY DESTINY.
I HAD BEEN MISTAKEN IN BELIEVING WARIO WAS THE TRUE CHOSEN ONE.
WHILE POWERFUL, HE STILL HAS HUMAN PROBLEMS:
HE IS GREEDY
HE LIES
HE IS MEAN
HE IS IMPULSIVE
HE IS NOT WALUIGI.
FOR YEARS I TOILED, BENEATH THE SCENES OF EVERDAY LIFE.
I WONDERED, "WHY…WHY…WHY?"
"WHY WASN'T I GOOD ENOUGH?"
"WHY WASN'T I LIKED?"
But, WHEN I ASCENDED, MY FIRST GODLY REALIZATION..!
WARIO AND THE OTHERS I WANTED TO BECOME….
…THEY ONLY HATED ME BECAUSE OF HOW SUPERIOR I WAS TO THEM.
THEY COULD NOT UNDERSTAND.
NO SOCIETY COULD UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT LIVED INSIDE ME
NO ONE…NOT EVEN I….APPARENTLY.
ha…ha…
that's ok.
i don't need to understand.
as long as…
….
AS LONG AS I HAVE CHICKEN NUGGETS. THATS ALL I EVER NEED. AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME FROM ACHIEVING MY GOALS!
I AM WALUIGI! I AM GOD! I AM THE VOID, AND I AM CHICKEN NUGGETS!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA...
Wait...
I can still smell his existence...his soul...
I may have killed him before...but here... in this world beyond worlds...
...WHy?
WHY IS HE STILL HERE?!
NNNYYYAAAAHHHH! That's it! I'm going to fix this problem right away!
THERE SHALL BE NO MORE WARIO IN THIS STORY! I WILL SEE TO THAT, SUCKERS! HE HE HE HA!
(This should be a good stress reliever)
