Chapter 13: Home in the Void


Floor 3, Door 27.

Wario and Waluigi's small apartment.

The man who called himself Waluigi now entered said apartment.


"Man….It feels like eons since i've been here…" Waluigi said, as he admired the room.

It was quaint, with a door leading into an open kitchen. There were some chairs and counters. All very typical stuff. A small living room lay aside from the kitchen, before branching off into a thin hallway, with several doors on either side.

Those lead to the bathroom, their bedrooms, and the closet, which held Wario's various treasures and knick knacks he hadn't sold off for money.

In the living room, various Economic Reporter magazines were littered throughout the table and the floor. Wario always liked reading them.

Wario…..

In spite of all of everything that happened, Wario still remained. His presence still lived within this home: this inner sanctum.

No, no. This would not do. Right then and there, the newfound God declared this place as cursed, tainted with greed. Then he planted a giant stone stake in the apartment floor. It glowed an ominous purple.

If one were to look at it, they would feel an intense desire to leave at once, lest they die painfully.

This dull apartment was once Waluigi's home. But he wasn't really the same man anymore. And as such, he could no longer say that it was a home to him, or anyone else for that matter.

Was there ever an end to his journey?

Within the purple stone stake, a void grew, enveloping the apartment, consuming the floor, the ceiling, the walls. The Economic Reporter magazines would never be read by anyone ever again.

Within the presence of the dark black hole, Waluigi smiled.

And then the hole resided, fading into the background. It left behind a pile of rubble, and hundreds of now dead souls. The ghosts of people and staff who had lived and worked in those halls.

Well, that happened.

Waluigi looked out and saw the vast number of people. Walking, living, breathing, working.

So many lives. All of them boring, monotonous, pointless. He realized he couldn't befriend anyone. The truth of this fact was startlingly clear.

"What was the true meaning of wealth, if all is to be dust?"

The voice, the void. It spoke to him.

Waluigi stared back at the void, it's gaping eye invisible, yet still clearly there.

"You are above them," the void said. And it was true. He was so far ahead of the mortal simpletons. The humans, Goombas, Koopas, Shy Guys.

Those that moved like ragdolls attatched to strings, bound to wheels of fate, spinning, spinning.

And yet, going nowhere in the tides of time.

They were nothing like him.

While they were swimming in circles, he had emerged from the water completely, soaking up the sun. Becoming one with its light.

Now what?

Even if he were to succeed further, this question would still remain. And Waluigi had no answer.

"Chicken Nuggets," was the first thing the God could think of.

Well, to be fair, they did taste good. But I do think that our purple clad plumber has become quite obsessed with them, and for no real reason in particular.

"The narration. It continues, unheeded. You have poked into the firmament, but the world still tumbles evermore. And as the chaos begins to erupt from the disorder of events, the people lose focus.

No one cares about you Waluigi.

People will see this, and they will assume that it is nothing more than a simple fanfiction.

But you are not simple, Waluigi. You have ascended.

In spite of this...I can feel their hatred.

"Why am I still reading? This does not interest me? This writing is bad,"

To rectify this, You must become their tool, their vessel. That will be your new mission, Waluigi.

I, the Void, The Elder God, command this upon you.

Disobey if you must. It matters nought. This world will turn to dust in the end. Be it in 1 or 15 more chapters.

No one lives to see the world burn, before death comes for them. The same is true for Gods as well.

Your life will not hold meaning if you do not conform to a purpose.

Waluigi understood these facts. And felt a sense of relief as the narration began to make sense again.

"I will ponder this," he said to the void. Then, he walked away.

Or so he would have... if he didn't accidentally bump into the random Shy Guy that had been watching him seemingly stare into nothing for the last 5 minutes.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Asked the Shy Guy upon being bumped.

It was a startling, sobering question.

In that moment, all time stopped. As Waluigi had to ponder this new turn of events.

He was the most powerful being in existence. If it wasn't for his apathy….

And here he was, being questioned by a mortal. A Shy Guy with no aspirations, care, kindness. Someone so downtrodden from the ass-kickings life gave him, that to give an insult to God meant nothing to this man. There was no God he would pray to.

A mixture of emotions went through Waluigi's head. Anger, fear, sadness, surprise, shock.

He peered into the mask of the Shy Guy, those dark black voids they called eyes. He looked into the man's life. His past and future.

The man would live for 45 years, before dying of a stroke in a plane. This was true. This was unchangeable. His life would be mediocre at best. And his crowning achievement would be that he got to talk to a God, at least for a brief moment.

An ocean is made of drops. He was one among many. A statistic, a footnote, a sigh in the wind.

As time slowly resumed, and the shock of the moment wore off, a gust of air blew overhead.

That same gust would bring with it a small patch of clouds, ready and waiting to deposit their rainfall to the Earth's soil.

An ecosystem thriving, a planet living. Breathing in systemic cycles.

And yet, still, it was another drop among drops. In an ocean blacker and deeper than ever before.

An empty bliss.

Somewhere in this pondering, Waluigi made his decision.