A/N: I've decided that Dudley needs a redemption arc. Enjoy!


Title: How High I Go

Summary: DUDLEY DURSLEY: COMING HOME THIS WEEKEND: The United Kingdom's favourite astronaut is coming home from the International Space Station this Saturday!

Word count: 684

Genres: General

Characters: Dudley D.


DUDLEY DURSLEY: COMING HOME THIS WEEKEND

The United Kingdom's favourite astronaut is coming home from the International Space Station this Saturday! After a four months stay on the ISS, where he was conducting a research on living conditions for microbiology in space, Dudley's stay has come to an end and is returning to good old Earth!

Scientists all over the world are impatiently waiting for him to bring back his plants, so that they may contribute to our research on how to make them grow in different environments. This research is essential to eventually learn how to live on Mars. And although most don't understand what is going on up there with Dudley's experimentations, all of us are excited to see his contribution to our world!

Just yesterday, he gave his last press conference for a variety of very lucky school all across the country, for children between the ages of 7 and 11. It was his 32nd press conference, officially earning the World Record of most press conferences given in space! Just another accomplishment on the wall for our dear Dudley.

Under the carefully constructed and clever questions of the future of our nation, Dudley revealed some information about his past and formation to get to where he is that had never been heard before. Nobody could believe it when he explained that he was spoiled, bratty, and overweight with absolutely no dreams of going to space most of his childhood!

"I was barely tolerable as a child," he told us. "I was one of the worst bullies at school!" But Dudley quickly reminded the students that were listening to him that bullying was a terrible thing. He might have been cruel when he was younger, but now Mr Dursley seems to be the epitome of morality. Dudley also noted his important participation in the hashtag #stopbullying that is raging through the internet right now.

But of course, there was still the question: why did he become an astronaut then? It turns out that one day, after suffering from a near death experience when he was 17 (which he did not share any information about, after all, some things must remain private), a close member of his family who had been through far more than him told him: "Quit whining. You're still alive aren't you?" and Dudley suddenly realised that he indeed was still alive and could do whatever he wanted with his life. After discovering an Astronomy book in the Library, it quickly became a passion for him. Proof that you don't have to start something young to reach your dreams!

Dudley then recounted his impressive quest to become an astronaut. As he had failed most of his GCSEs, Dudley took the time to retake them, earning only A stars, a real model of perseverance. After brilliant A levels in Physics and Maths, he then went on to become a pilot, a first step to going to space. "And it just wasn't enough," Dudley explained. "I wanted to see how high I could go." When the Space Agency decided to recruit, Dudley went through a series of extremely difficult tests, then followed 3 years of intense training before finally accomplishing his dreams. What a determined man!

"Honestly," Dudley confided, "I don't know how I managed to accomplish this. Probably a mix of dumb luck and a lot of encouragements from my mother!" Because it turns out that Dudley is a real mummy's boy (see interview of Petunia Dursley page 26).

A boy from Devonshire Prep asked what you needed to have to become an astronaut and this was Dudley's reply: will, hard work, a love of travelling (with very few items, there's not a lot of space on the ISS. Well, there is a lot of space but not space!)

The press conference finished. All of the money from Dudley numerous video calls will be donated to charity, another example of his absolutely fantastic generosity and kindness.

And while this marks the end of a once-in-a-lifetime journey for Dudley, we are all excited to see him coming back from space to us!


FOR HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

House: Ravenclaw

Assignment #9: Exobiology Task #1 Write about visiting space

All aboard: 9) How High I Go

Gobstones: Brown stone – hard work – 19) Newspaper article – 15) Dudley Dursley – 9) Tolerable

Godric says: 8) "Quit whining you're still alive aren't you?"

Talent show: 18) 1) Space!AU

Writing club:

CA: 10) Fantastic

TM: 10) travelling

EE: 12) attempting something hard

Llove: 14) coming from space

SC: 20) Dumb luck

FF: 18) Invitation

MA: D) Dudley

F: 27) Determined

Autumn seasonal:

National american heritage: 1) travelling with few items

UN: 159) space

Family: 1) Mummy's boy

Get organised week: 15) donating to charity

31st October: Samhain end of something

Chemistry: 1) Hardworking

Princess: 14) wanting to explore