A/N: If you haven't seen the commercial, the song is sung by a bunch of kids on a play-set that spells "Oscar Minor" Well, if you were a Weiner, you wouldn't have hands, so there's the second one.

I wish I weren't an Oscar Minor Weiner-
Because then I might be ta-aste-y!
I wish I weren't an Oscar Minor Weiner-
'Cause everyone would stop hating me!

-OR-

I wish I weren't an Oscar Minor Weiner!
'Cause I don't want to fall off this swing-
I wish I weren't an Oscar Minor Weiner-
This play-set really's not my thing!