Disclaimer: This is not totally mine. ¾ is mine but the other ¼ is Jane Austen's. I do not own the characters of Austen's books. I have made this M 15+ for later chapters.

Chapter 3: Bittersweet memories

The next week, Jane and Elizabeth decided to take a carriage down to Pemberley to see Georgiana and Carmel.

"We must talk to them about the ball that is on in the morrow!" Jane smiled sweetly at breakfast.

"And we have not seen each other since two years previous! Mama would most certainly let us go." Eliza smiled equally sweetly.

"Heaven have mercy on my poor soul! Alright girls! You may go to Pemberley!" Mrs Harper gave up with a dramatic sigh. She always did.

Jane and Eliza quickly got off their seats and gave Mrs Harper a kiss on both cheeks.

"But heaven help me when you have an accident! Lord James and Lady Rachel will have a fit!" Mrs Harper scolded in jest. She knew the two girls would never do anything dangerous. They weren't wild in any way.

Jane and Eliza laughed at that.

"Harry, go with them." Mrs Harper ordered a servant who bowed low.

Jane and Eliza laughed and talking avidly during their carriage ride to Pemberley.

"Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth. We are here." Harry announced as he got off from his seat next to the driver.

Jane went out first, being the older of the two, and then Elizabeth.

The two sisters, even though they had been to Pemberley, gasped with awe.

Pemberley and Fairfield were much alike. Both were £30,000 and they were roughly the same size but Pemberley was much more on a grander scale and Fairfield was serene and gentle.

"I see you have not been swayed away from the majesty of Pemberley." Mrs. Reynolds smiled as she saw the two girls.

Jane and Eliza squealed with delight as they ran to hug Mrs. Reynolds.

"I has been so many long years since we have seen you last, Mrs. Reynolds!" Jane expressed her obvious delight in seeing Pemberley's housekeeper.

"And I you, Miss Jane Bennet! My, my! How Miss Elizabeth Bennet has grown since those years I caught her ravishing young Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy!" Mrs. Reynolds laughed with slight pain in her voice. She knew of them painful way Eliza and William were split from each other.

Jane spotted Carmel peeking out of one of the windows.

"I can see Carmel has seen us." Jane smiled softly as she, Eliza, Mrs. Reynolds and Harry walked inside.

All of a sudden, Jane and Eliza could not see as two flings of sparkling platinum blonde hair, one longer than the other, blocked their view.

"Georgiana! Carmel!" Eliza laughed as she hugged Georgiana and Jane hugged Carmel.

"We thought you would never come!" Carmel's brilliant sapphire blue eyes shone with evident delight as Georgiana's chestnut brown ones did the same.

"And here we are, to prove you two all wrong!" Jane smiled wide with a laugh.

"Come with us, dear Jane and Eliza! We have something to show you!" Georgiana smiled mysteriously.

Jane, Eliza, Carmel, Georgiana and Mrs. Reynolds walked quickly to the Darcy library.

They found the shelves were in a slight state of disarray but Mrs. Reynolds quickly explained.

"Miss Georgiana and Miss Carmel have been very true to their word. The maids do not mind cleaning up as they understand the urgency in finding Lady Anne's diary." Mrs. Reynolds explained with a smile towards a sheepish Georgiana and Carmel.

At long last, they ended up facing an elegant diary on the rosewood table at the far end of the library.

"Is this what I think it is?" Elizabeth asked in a small voice. She took a very good look at it and she dared to hope like she had never hoped before.

Georgiana and Carmel simply nodded. They felt exactly the same way when they found it. It was like a celebration for a future when they did.

Eliza slowly took the stunning diary in her hands and opened it equally slowly.

"It is so beautiful." Jane whispered. She knew the main focus was what the contents of the diary were but she couldn't help but be attracted to its beauty.

"Lady Anne herself made it on her wedding day. She knew it would last forever and its beauty must be kept that way." Mrs Reynolds explained once more.

Eliza, Jane, Georgiana and Carmel gasped. Lady Anne made this diary with her own two hands!

"Did our mother make anything else?" Carmel asked slowly.

"Yes. She made a great deal of things. She made some of her own dresses because she was fed up with all the horrid designs and the way it was so uncomfortable to wear." Mrs Reynolds nodded enthusiastically.

Eliza and Jane smiled. Lydia and Kitty thought that way when they first made their dresses. Now, it was a full time job for them.

"Well? What does it say?" Georgiana pressed on. She really wanted to hear the words of her mother coming from Eliza's mouth.

Eliza opened to the first entry.

August 16th, 1762Hertfordshire

Hertfordshire is the quaintest little place I have seen in my life! Charles Bingley, William's friend, George Wickham, my sister Catherine, her daughter Anne, Charles' two sisters, Caroline and Louisa, Tobias and I have rented out a lovely place called Netherfield Park. Catherine had complained about the size but I soon put an end to that!

Tobias' friend from Cambridge, Mr James Bennet, came today. He introduced us to four of his five daughters. There was Jane, Elizabeth, Mary and Kitty. The youngest, Lydia, was at home.

I have taken great liking towards Elizabeth, who she insists I call her Lizzy. She has already made friends with William! Oh, they get along handsomely! Anne has made firm friends with Mary and Catherine went so far as saying that she would pay for Mary's music lesson which she will share with Anne.

James' wife, Lydia, has died recently and he gave us news of her neglect for all of her daughters save the youngest, the one with her name. It was so painful to hear such a tale!

I have suggested Rachel to be James' wife. She longs to be married and James might be the perfect husband for her. He is in want of a loving wife and mother and she is want of a loving husband and children, if possible.

Tobias is insisting I go to bed.

Lady Anne.

"Read some more." Carmel insisted.

Eliza flicked now to a much later date, the second last page of diary.

October 26th, 1767Pemberley

Today was Lizzy's 16th birthday and it was wonderful and extravagant, just like her other birthdays!

Lizzy is growing up very fast and beautifully at that too, might I add. William and George can't seem to let their gaze wander off her!

I saw William and George quarrel and fight for which Lizzy loves more many times. Lizzy always see this and knows of this. She is not ignorant of them and when she sees, she breaks them up, icily glaring at the two of them that it is stupid to do such a boyish act. She has my heart and mind.

I know and she has told me in secret, that she loves William with all her heart and she longs to be with him and why not? Catherine has no objections to the match. She finds Lizzy delightful and beautiful as I do.

Rachel and James have bought Lizzy a horse and a beautiful sapphire necklace. Rachel loves her family and she has brought a lot of change in the Bennet household. She has brought the family group a lot tighter and now James knows the various issues in a girls' life. Her daughters, Diana and Daniella who are both 6, which are the same age as Carmel, are a delight. Her sons, James and John, who are both 4, idolise William and Charles, not so much George which is understandable.

George has brought many a women to Pemberley and it has affected me more than Tobias' death earlier this year. He is like a second son to me but I do not know anymore.

I saw William and Lizzy rush to the edge of the lake and into the woods. William had pushed Lizzy to a tree and was rubbing her secret place. Lizzy moaned before kissing William fiercely on the lips.

I let them do such a thing even though it is morally wrong. Their love, god forbid if it to be lust, must be celebrated and hope that they will be together, always.

Lady Anne.

After reading this bit, Eliza's flushed pink. She could remember that as clear as day but, even though she knew it was forbidden, it felt so wonderful and exhilarating.

"The past is nothing to be ashamed of, Miss Elizabeth." Mrs Reynolds assured a blushing Elizabeth. She had seen it as well but she had the same thoughts as Lady Anne.

Eliza turned to the last page and started reading.

December 16th, 1767Pemberley

This is going to be my last page for this diary. I am sure of it.

God has come for me and I am not afraid. I will meet up with Tobias again and see Sir Luis, Catherine's wonderful husband, again.

Carmel and Georgiana hope for me to get well and celebrate Christmas with them but I know it not to be happening this year.

William has already accepted the fact I will die and he will inherit Pemberley and all the properties that we own.

I have made an account for Lizzy with £40,000. I have written in a letter and I have enclosed a box with some of my jewellery. Carmel and Georgiana will have the rest of them.

I have given my favourite necklace, the one Tobias gave me on the year I fell pregnant with William, to her. She will need it as I have in the past.

I will keep this in a secret place and it will take some time to find it.

If Carmel or Georgiana find this, I love you with all my heart, my two beautiful daughters. I am sorry I couldn't live to see you be married or even William. Live life as you want to live and never let anyone pressure you into anything.

To Lizzy. You are me in a much younger and avid form. Watching you grow up was like a second childhood for me. You are so lively and so happy about everything you do.

To William. Grow up to be the man you want to be, not the man your father was. He had his own faults and you have yours. Love everyone, especially Lizzy, and you will be perfectly happy.

God bless everyone

Lady Anne.

No one spoke for a while. Georgiana, Carmel and Eliza were too concentrated that life had sucked for them after Lady Anne died.

"We have found this diary and have seen our lives flash right back at us. Oh how it pains to read it!" Eliza said softly, tears in her eyes threatening to spill.

Jane, Georgiana and Carmel rushed over to hug a teary Eliza. They knew not how she felt but they knew it was not a good feeling.

"I will never again nestle in William's strong, loving arms! Oh cruel fate! Take me now!" Eliza sank to the floor, tears spilling out an alarming rate.

"Have faith, dear sister! Fate cannot be always cruel to thy heart!" Jane whispered softly, doing her best to keep her sister in good spirits.

"Thine said heart has been broken many a time but no more can thy bear it!" Eliza screamed as she sobbed hysterically.

"No one can bear on their heart than need be. Oh how I pity and weep for you, my sister!" Jane lamented softly as she hugged Eliza, comforting the best way she could do so in her power.

This continued on for a good hour before Eliza calmed down enough to stand on her own two feet and talk without her voice wavering.

"We came here to tell you about the Dashwood's ball on tonight. We were wondering if you were attending." Jane asked as the four women sat in the sitting room close to the front of the estate.

"The Dashwood's are not very close friends of ours but Sir Thomas is a kind, considerate sort of man so he has invited us. Yes, we will be attending tonight." Georgiana replied with a slight smile. Carmel, even though she was no age to marry, was invited to countless parties on account of Georgiana who was nervous of company without her little sister.

"Rumours have flow for years in Derbyshire about your relationship with Mr Dashwood. They say you are engaged to him." Carmel's sapphire blue eyes shone with delight and some anxiousness.

At this, Eliza held her head up high.

"No rumours will be consequently true and that is so incredibly far from the truth! You know yourself, Carmel Darcy, that my true love can only be your beloved brother!" Eliza smiled wryly over her teacup of tea.

Smiles graced the faces of everyone in the household, including the maids and servants. They had hoped for months that those rumours were not true.

"It is now 2 in the evening. The party will commence at 7 at night. We must get prepared for it or otherwise we will be late!" Jane rose as she gazed at the handsome grandfather clock close to the grand piano.

The two Darcy sisters and the two Bennet sisters got ready and they arrive at the Dashwood party just in time, 7 at night on the dot.

Jane was wearing a lavish serene blue dress with a mellow yellow shawl. Eliza was wearing a light pink dress with a light purple shawl and her favourite necklace, the necklace Lady Anne gave her in her last post to her. Georgiana was wearing a lavender dress with an orange shawl and small drop pearl earrings. Carmel was wearing a pure white dress with a serene blue shawl to go with it.

Sir Thomas Dashwood spotted the party first and strode over to greet them personally; especially Eliza who he had noticed David, his eldest son, was utterly besotted with.

"Miss Bennet. Miss Elizabeth. Miss Darcy. Miss Carmel. It is an honour for you to be here." Sir Thomas smiled wide at the ladies.

"Thank you, Sir Thomas. This ball is rather grand, if I say so myself." Georgiana replied with a smile.

"I thank you, miss Darcy. Pray, where is your brother, Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy?" Sir Thomas asked, missing the obvious pained look on Eliza's face.

"He is in Hertfordshire with Mr Charles Bingley and his sister, sir." Jane replied. She knew that it would always pain Eliza when someone uttered the name of her one and only true love.

"On business, I expect. My son has been waiting eagerly for the day your grace Derbyshire once more, Miss Eliza." Sir Thomas turned his attention to Eliza. He, as well as every other father in the room with an unmarried son, hoped Miss Elizabeth Bennet would marry their sons. The Bennet's were very praised and honoured, especially for their fine brood of beautiful daughters.

"I have heard as much from the servants and the local gossip, sir." Eliza pulled a smile. She was the expert of fake expressions and it came in handy for tedious parties such as these.

Just then, Mr David Dashwood turned and saw Eliza' face. He was so obviously besotted with her and why wouldn't he be? She was belle of every ball she attended and that spoke for itself.

Mr Dashwood almost flew with joy towards the woman he, and countless number of men, hoped would he his and only his.

"Miss Elizabeth. Your beauty radiates the room a thousand times over." Mr Dashwood kissed Eliza's satin gloved hands.

"Mr Dashwood. Your words are too kind for me to hear." Eliza laughed. She felt no real joy when she did so, however. It had been so for five long years.

"Will you dance with me, Miss Elizabeth?" Mr Dashwood almost pleaded. It was a great honour to dance with her. She only danced once and only once at every ball she attended but no one held it against her save all the envious women.

Eliza held out her hand to be taken. She knew it was no use to refuse such a besotted man as Mr David Dashwood.

They danced in the centre and Mr Dashwood glowed happily as every other man, married or nigh, glowered at him as they danced.

"You are so beautiful in this light, Miss Elizabeth." Mr Dashwood commented.

Eliza didn't reply. She did want to and she had heard that many times no one expected her to, in all honesty.

"How Miss Darcy looks tonight, do yo not think she is a beauty, Mr Dashwood?" Eliza asked softly as she saw Georgiana smile softly at her.

Mr Dashwood did not look. He hated the whole of the Darcy family, simply because of the fact that Eliza had an intimate past with Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy.

"She does not look beautiful in any light. She only radiates pride and selfishness." Mr Dashwood replied, his voice clearly conveying his disdain for the Darcy family.

Eliza pulled away from Mr Dashwood's strong, overwhelming grip.

"May I remind you, dear sir, that the Darcy family is particularly close to my own. Nothing will harm them when you throw childish words of disdain at them." Eliza replied, her piercing dark brown eyes shot at his own sea blue ones.

Eliza turned herself towards her sister and the Darcy sisters.

"It is time to go, my dear friends and sister. I have been insulted before but one cannot stand insults for long. Goodbye Mr Dashwood. Heaven have mercy on me if I dare to see your face once more anywhere else, least of all my home, either Fairfield or Longbourn." Eliza spoke curtly before sweeping away into the night.