Document 1: Touya

Found: Scribbled on a Napkin

Where: Stuffed in a Drawer; Daidouji, Tomoyo's Apartment

It started with Yuki.

I don't want to talk about the break up. That part of my life is over now – and I really do mean that. Of course, I didn't want to break up with Yuki, and maybe it would have been nice had we stayed together. But I am happy now – and that's the only reason I have to have the confidence to write my thoughts down now. I suppose they could be written at any time, there's nothing really special about now. Only that she's still getting ready for our date, and he's yet to come over. Only that on whim, I find that now would be as good a time as any to let the remnants of past frustrations die completely.

Oh God, at this rate, this'll turn into a college paper.

Anyway, what I'm concerned with is after the break up. Not right after the break up, of course – that part of my life was pretty pathetic. But simply, how they saved me.

Well, maybe I do have to explain the right afterwards part for clarity…

After Yuki, I was a mess. Absolute. Mess. My new hobby was locking myself up in my room, and I would just lay there on my bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking things like 'would it have been better if I…'. They were useless thoughts, those "if" questions always are. There comes a point when things can't go back to the way they used to be, and Yuki and I had reached that point after we'd broken up.

But…

One of my biggest problems wasn't the break up with Yuki. It was the realization that the break up had forced me to come to. When it came down to it, Yuki had been my only friend. I had no other friends. Kaho had rejected me, and now Yuki had too. The only conclusion that I could reach from these things was that there was something extremely flawed about me.

I spent my time trying to figure out what. Questions ran through my head. What exactly about my character repulsed other people, caused them to reject me? Or was me who rejected them?

Most importantly, did that mean I was to be alone forever?

Document 2: Tomoyo

Found: Penned Neatly on Lime Green Stationary

Where: Hidden Under a Purple Pillow; Daidouji, Tomoyo's Apartment

In fourth grade, I'd told Sakura that as long as the one I loved was happy, I could be happy too. At that time, my words weren't a lie. My feelings for Sakura had been a puppyish sort of love; it wasn't the type of love that could hurt you. But as time went by it became one. And as Sakura and Syaoran got serious, each day I lost her more and more. And yet, each day I loved her more and more. And so, each day it hurt more and more.

I really don't know quite what led me to latch on to Sakura so. Perhaps, it was because she was everything I aspired to be. She had my mother's love and affection. In my eyes, my use to my mother was simply to act as a monument to the late Nadeshiko. We did look like each other, the same wavy purplish hair, the wide eyes, the ivory skin. Except in me, my mother tried to correct all of Nadeshiko's faults. I was not to be clumsy. And while cheerful, I was politefully so. I excelled in school with the help of tutors and a bit of my own natural talent. However, in hoping to achieve some perfect being through her only daughter, my mother lost all the qualities that had made her fall in love with Nadeshiko in the first place.

To be what my mother wanted was an impossibly hard task, and when her affections turned so easily to Sakura, I seemed to understand exactly why I couldn't be good enough for my mother. I suppose that I should have been jealous, but I was a child who so earnestly wished to please her mother, and such an emotion would no have achieved my goal. Instead, I was smitten. Sakura was all that I wished I could be. And thus, my first crush began…

Rereading this, I guess I sound like I have a terrible mother complex. And I did. But I outgrew that soon after I met Sakura. Not completely, of course it still lingers today, but for the most part, my life is no longer ruled by pleasing my mother.

It was the crush that took longer to leave behind. And it wasn't just time. It was pain. During that time, it was so hard, feeling torn between happiness for Sakura and sorrow for myself.

In such times, a girl usually turns to her other best friend, which in my case was the only friend I had left: Eriol.

Eriol was having problems too. He had come to some sort of a mutual break up with Kaho when they both acknowledged that they weren't the same people as their previous incarnations had been along with the fact of their immense age gap. Eriol understood the necessity of their break up, but the part of him that was still Clow ached with grief.

During this time, we helped each other out.

Sakura, feeling uncertain alone with Syaoran, insisted on group dates, dragging me and Eriol along with her wherever she went (it was like we were two leftover parts put together for the sake of simple organization). Still, even if she insisted I be there, she didn't talk to me. I was simply some side ornament, a comfort blanket for her anxiety. Unfortunately, my duty as a friend would not allow me to abandon her, though it hurt to see her with Syaoran.

At these times, Eriol would distract me. Tell me jokes, or convince me to pull something mischievous with him. In return, I would go along with what he suggested, often exaggerating his ideas when we put them into action. And so we helped each other forget – forget the broken heart each of us nursed in our chests.

It was pretty pathetic I guess, and robotic in its own sense. Neither of us would admit our problems to each other, not even that we had problems. It was a sort of an unspoken understanding, one that was never truly understood because of the silence.

But one day changed that…

Document 3: Eriol

Found: Written in a Journal

Where: Lying on the Couch; Clow Manor

I think you can always pinpoint it to one event in time. The beginning. Oh, there is always more to it than that. But the beginning is the breakthrough.

Our beginning, Touya's, Tomoyo's and mine. Well, it started off something like this…

Tomoyo, Sakura, Syaoran, and I were having a study session at Sakura's house one night. After studying for a while, and, all of that while, giving Syaoran a good teasing, Tomoyo and I left downstairs to go "get snacks". Of course, this had been done many times before. "Getting snacks" wasn't so much as sitting on the couch for about an hour talking about random things to do to surprise the both of them, hoping to catch an embarrassing moment.

Usually, this type of thing amused me, and more importantly, somewhat got my mind off of other things. But it was growing tedious. Life was growing tedious. I needed something new. And also, I thought that maybe it was about time to actually talk out my problems with Tomoyo – we'd become good friends over the past two years – and listen to hers.

As we walked down the stairs, my short lived satisfaction of teasing Syaoran died away, a question growing in its place.

"Do you ever get tired of this, Tomoyo?" I asked her. Her back was facing towards me as I walked behind her, and I couldn't read the facial reaction she had from my question.

She stopped her descent down that stairs for a slight moment and I wouldn't have detected the reaction if I hadn't been looking for it.

"What do you mean Eriol?" She asked back to me, and although I couldn't see her face, I had a pretty good idea what it looked like. It was a forced smile, something that looked cheerful, but never quite reached her eyes. It was the look that she gave Sakura when Sakura talked about Syaoran. It was a face she seemed to wear a lot these days.

But it was a face that didn't answer her question. I didn't want to press any further, but neither did I want to pretend that I hadn't asked anything. I was tired of pretending, but I wasn't exactly in the mood to be confronting things either. My silence was a way of saying "it's up to you, whether or not to broach this subject". We were getting good at never speaking, always suggesting, and still having an understandable conversation between ourselves.

She answered my original question, but only half way.

"The same old descendents do get tiring after a while, don't they, Eriol?" She said slowly, as if pondering her own thought, "But you do have another one, you know."

"Through your other you," she added to clarify.

I have many, but I caught on to the one she was suggesting only after a moment's pause. He wasn't exactly the change I was looking for, but if she wasn't ready to talk, neither was I. Besides, he was descendent also, being the son of my other half, in a way, and he'd been looking quite glum as of late.

Touya…