Yet another chapter where nothing happens :D


"Oh, jamani!"

"What, is it bad? Is it good?! What is it?!"

"Dude, stop, like, moving, Vic!"

Eddie was at the last stage of his creation. The mask was on Vic's face, and he was now working on blending it into the skin round his mouth. There was nothing he could do about the cybernetic eye, so he had settled on incorporating a medical eye patch Gar liberated from the opthalmology department. The whole thing was combined with a wig, scarf, baseball jacket (from lost and found) some loose jeans, and the biggest pair of trainers Gar could order through next day delivery.

"It's a good job it's cold. Can you imagine trying to pull this look off in summer?" Dick commented, pulling on his own leather jacket.

Once all the touch ups were done and Eddie was happy, he presented Vic with a mirror.

"I... I can't believe..." Vic gasped. "I look like me... Like this could all be a dream and I'm still... human..."

They smiled, but there wasn't a lot of time to hang about and admire the work. Dick was already by the door and trying to usher Gar out. "You get back to your aunts!" He told Eddie, who was packing up his last few things.

"I know, man! I told them to pick me up, now. They're on their way! You hurry and get that taxi and go die in Gotham. And if you get saved by Batman get me an autograph!"

Now there was an idea. Maybe Dick could ask Bruce to post one to Eddie?

The three of them shuffled through the back door into the staff car park. Thankfully, it was gated off so reporters and paparazzi couldn't harass the young celebrities.

"There's the car." Dick said, pointing to an old, dark blue sedan with an 'UBER' sticker on the side.

"Let me guess... I have to sit in the middle..." Gar mumbled.

As they approached the car there was the unmistakable smell of vanilla air-freshener and and gas fumes. So many people had sat in its seats- and their scents still lingered on the upholstery.

"You rich boys need me to get the door, or do you think you can manage?!"

"You know, I know you're joking, but if you're actually, like, offering... then yes please..." Gar smiled and hinted at the fact his hands were occupied with his jacket and bag. Vic rolled his eye but did open the door.

As Gar scrambled into the back seat, Dick went for the front.

"Do you mind if sit up here?"

"Oh... Oh, um, yes! I mean, no! I mean, you can sit there!" Babbled the driver, his eyes wide with wonder.

Once the three teens were strapped in they set off.

A dangling yellow tree bobbed about from the mirror as B.E.R played quietly on the radio.

Garfield had a familiar feeling. The driver kept glancing at him in the mirror and strumming his finger on steering wheel if Gar noticed. Unlike in the elevator, this was a perfect time to act on his instincts.

"Do you, um... Do you maybe want an autograph? Or a photo?"

"Yes please! I mean, if that's OK?"

"Sure. It's no trouble."

It could be interesting talking to older fans. Some of them were shy and worried about be a bother, and others had no reservations about talking like they knew him. There was now the awkward silence. Gar glanced over at Vic and saw him mouthing the words to the song on the radio.

I'm tired and hungry. I know your love ain't far outta reach.

"Say, do you think you turn it up a bit? The, um, the radio. Please."

"Sure! You like this song?"

"Yeah, but they only have, like, 5 songs. B.E.R I mean. Everyone thinks that The Night Begins To Shine is the best, but, um, I- I think Rise Up is better..." Gar stopped talking, realising he was dominating the conversation. "You must hear a lot of songs. Being with the radio so much..."

"Yeah, I hear quite a variety. I hate those stations that play the same collection of songs every day. I'm much more into R.I.P- the radio station."

Dick smiled. This was was a special skill Gar had, and it never ceased to amaze him.

When they had pulled up next to the harbour, Gar fulfilled his offer and posed for some photos. People began to notice, and the cons of fame presented themselves. It was time for Dick to use his secret strategy- code name- worried boyfriend.

Stage 1: The simple but effect hand hold.

Dick lightly held onto Gar's hand and gently tugged it whilst pointing to the destination.

Stage 2: The sympathetic smile and wave.

This is when his beautiful face came in useful. He was photogenic, and the media knew it. For some reason homosexuality had become a fetish, and Dick wasn't beyond using this to his advantage. He could peacefully play the roll of 'Gay Boyfriend' when he went out with women, and not worry about gossip rags talking about his sex life. Of course Gar knew of his antics, and was all too happy to go along with it.

They looked like a cute couple, and people would be unwilling to separate them. He smiled at the fans and acknowledged them by holding up his free hand for their photos.

Stage 3: Never apologise.

This was a lesson from Bruce. You don't say "Sorry" because it gives the other person a feeling that something is wrong. Instead, you say "Thank you for your understanding". This makes the other person feel like they have done something good.

"We're going to get the ferry, so unfortunately there is no time for interviews and autographs. Thank you for your continued support, and for your understanding."

It was a very political answer, but Dick really didn't want to miss the ferry.

Stage 4: Confiscation.

The last resort. Quite simply, Dick would confiscate Gar from the fans.

He hoicked the small guy over his shoulder and headed for the front desk. This removed all the responsibility from Garfield so he didn't feel as guilty about not signing every scrap of paper thrust at him. Some people could be quite demanding, asking for 1 for their partner, 1 for their daughters friend, one for Alice at work, 1 for the mail man, 1 for someone for Christmas, and so on.

Garfield had decided very early on that he would provide the option to buy an autograph from his website for a small charitable donation. This meant people who wanted to sell his autograph would have a hard time doing so. If people were that worked up about having to give $5 to charity for an autograph, they weren't the kind of fans Gar wanted.