AN: Someone pointed out to me that I hadn't put up a disclaimer o.o. I thought I did, damn it x.x I'll edit the first chapter and I'll say it in this one too (though I think disclaimers usually are useless things, I'll do it anyway. I don't want to get into any trouble… heh.)
Thanks to all who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this slightly angsty chapter. I don't know where it came from, actually, but nyah o.o.
So yeah, this update came pretty quick, huh? I was actually so into the last chapter myself, I wanted to continue writing it o.o
I bet you didn't know I'm making things up as I go, right? XD It's true, I didn't have anything planned except for the beginning and the end X3. I'm quite satisfied with this chapter, I suppose.
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or any of the characters. I'm just a fangirl.
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
For some God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day
--From the musical Aida
Chapter 7
That night, Roy was unable to sleep. What had gotten into him? He had tried to kiss him and not just an innocent peck on the forehead, but he had wanted to kiss him on the lips, touch him like he used to touch women. He had wanted to do these things out of his own free will, not just because of his enslavement, but because he wanted to.
He had stayed up all night pondering about Edward—it usually wasn't like Roy to be in denial, but still. He could hardly believe that he had fallen for another man, a master even and he tried to think of other reasons which could have caused his out-of-character behaviour.
At first, he thought it to be the watch—after all, Edward hadn't been like other masters. He hadn't used Roy the way his other master's would have used him, but he let him be free and had never once asked him to please him. The situation was different and not even Roy knew everything about the curse and the pocket watch—for instance, he knew that there indeed was a way to break the curse, but he didn't know what it was. He had no idea what kept him alive while he was inside the watch either—he knew he felt hunger and thirst while he was inside, but he couldn't die from it.
The feeling was horrid and it was like a living hell.
So perhaps these feelings were just something the watch made him feel? But it had never happened before… then again, Edward really was different. And it wouldn't explain the affection Roy would often display for him—like kissing him on the forehead or giving him a rare smile. Roy hardly smiled—it was either smirking or he would force a smile. Besides that, he felt overprotective of him.
And that, he thought, was because he had… fatherly feelings for him. But that still didn't explain why he went ballistic when he found out Edward would be going out with Russell, or how he responded to the girl who he could obviously screw that night.
"Damn it," he muttered softly, rubbing his temples. He had taken a small glass of whiskey. Edward didn't like alcohol too much—apparently one of the men who had adopted him and Alphonse had a drinking problem and would often hit them, which was the reason why they got sent back to the orphanage again—but he had bought Roy some whiskey, after he had promised never to get drunk.
Though it really was tempting now.
He shrugged and closed his eyes, groaning. What the hell was happening to him?
"G'morning," Edward mumbled as he emerged from the bedroom, his hair tussled. Roy couldn't suppress a smile as Edward stumbled through the living room and eventually reached the kitchen to make some coffee. And then Edward's face suddenly darkened, as if he remembered something. "How was your date?" Roy shrugged.
"Boring," Roy replied. Whatever it is that I'm feeling… I'll find it out. I have more than a month. He stood up and walked over to the kitchen, snaking his arms around Edward's waist and pulling him to his chest. Edward turned his head and glanced up at him, his face scrunched in confusion and embarrassment. "It would've been more fun if you had been there," he said, huskily. He just received a blink.
"What? As in, a threesome?" Roy smacked him on the head.
"No, shorty, as in you and me, together," he replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Edward glared at him.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING THE GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS' SHORTY!" he shouted loudly, pushing himself away from Roy and pointing a finger at him. Said black-haired man chuckled softly, before he took some eggs and bacon from the fridge.
"I'll make breakfast," he stated. He half expected a 'thank you', but instead he got a suspicious look from the blonde.
"Since when do you do anything?" he asked him, raising an eyebrow. "You barely manage to get off the couch, never mind doing anything around the house! Did that woman slip something in your drink? 'Cause if she did, I want to know what it was and how to get my hands on it." Roy let out a deep chuckle and chose not to reply on it.
"Do you want milk with that?" Edward immediately scrunched his nose in disgust.
"Keep that rancid liquid away from me, if you value your life," he threatened.
Fifteen minutes later, they both sat down at the dining table and had their breakfast, Roy occasionally looking up at Edward with a calculating look. It was true that he cared for this particular master—he liked him, even though he would often pick on him. It was just teasing though, to get a reaction from him, because it was fun, but he never really meant it.
But could it be he was actually attracted to him? That he was—dare he say it?—in love with him?
"Russell called yesterday, after you left," Edward suddenly murmured. This snapped Roy back to reality and his face immediately turned into a hard glare, an unknown and yet familiar feeling spreading through him—jealousy? "He told me he was sorry, y'know. He was desperate, he said," Edward continued, sadly. "He was my best friend in school, you know? But I don't think I can trust him anymore, not after what he did," Roy nodded, glad that Edward wasn't planning on meeting him again.
"He forced you to do something against your will, I would hardly call that friendship," Roy said. It wasn't like he was manipulating Edward to never see Russell again. Honest! He was just… giving him a small push. Yup. That was it! The blonde nodded.
"I guess, but," he suddenly looked up and grinned. "I can't really blame him, I am, after all, drop-dead-gorgeous," he continued.
"Indeed," the black-haired man commented, slapping a hand over his mouth when he realised what he had just said. And he had said it with complete honesty—not just because someone forced him to say these things, or be flirtatious, or to tease him, or whatever. He had just been honest.
Edward blushed madly at the confirmation and looked down at his plate, playing with a fork.
"Roy?"
"Hmm?" A pause from Edward's side, which made Roy look up. The blonde looked hesitant to continue. "What is it?"
"Alphonse knows, about you coming from a watch and all," Edward said. Roy raised an eyebrow, but didn't respond. "He told me he read about a Roy Mustang who lived hundreds of years ago and disappeared. He said this Roy was involved in something called the 'Ishbal Massacre'—" he could see Roy flinch, which was all the conformation he needed, "—That was you, wasn't it?" There was a long silence, before he received a nod from Roy.
"After that, I promised myself to never take unreasonable orders anymore," he murmured. Edward looked up at him questioningly, so he continued, "I was ordered to kill everybody. Ishbal was wiped out in one night. I had killed… a lot of people. If I hadn't, they would've killed me and everybody in Ishbal anyway. I was a coward," he paused shortly. "I hardly remember anything," he continued. "It's a blur. I only remember killing two doctors, a married couple, who both treated the people from Ishbal and the soldiers. I was ordered specifically to kill them, because they were a danger to us. They were friends of mine, I met them during the war. They helped me out a lot… and because I was a damn coward, I killed them nonetheless." By now, Roy was shaking—he was mostly angry at himself, even after more than six hundred years, he still hadn't managed to forgive himself. "After the war, I promised myself never to take any unreasonable orders again. I suppose… being a slave forever would be an appropriate punishment for me. I can't say I don't deserve this—it's because of what I have done in my life that made it easier for me to accept this fate," he concluded sadly.
"That's not true!" Edward said, slamming his hands on the table as he stood up. Roy looked at him, an unreadable expression on his face. It was somewhere torn between sadness and—was it affection? Edward couldn't be sure, so he ignored it. "You got ordered to do it!" he continued. "The people who ordered you, should be inside that stupid watch, not you! You're not a bad person(1)!" Roy blinked at him once, before he smiled softly at the blonde.
"Thanks," he muttered softly and let out a small laugh. "But I still did horrible things. I killed children, even, and women. Those who survived lost their families, because of me. The children who survived lost their mothers and fathers—the mothers who survived had to bury their own sons and daughters. Tell me, Edward, would you forgive me if I had killed your mother? Wouldn't you wish this fate to me too? To live an eternal life of serving others? To be practically raped over and over again? I know I would, I won't deny it." Edward seemed to be taken aback by the depressed look in Roy's eyes—raped?
Edward had never thought about it like that, because Roy had always seemed to be so… accepting of things. As if it wasn't such a big deal. But, then again, Roy had been inside that watch for six hundred years already—he had gotten passed self-pity already and had to accept his fate, even. If he hadn't done that, it would've consumed him… but that didn't mean he was happy.
And of course, he was getting raped. Raped by the men who used him for their own pleasures, raped because he had no say in who he wanted to have sex with—he didn't want them to screw him. He was getting raped. He was getting raped for over six hundred years.
Edward couldn't help the tears that were streaming down his face and suddenly what happened with Russell, didn't seem like such a big deal anymore.
"Edward, I'm really glad you bought the watch and I could meet you," Roy murmured, standing up from the table and walking over to him. He used his thumb to wipe the tears away and cupped his cheek. "You made me feel human again, you're even crying for me. I wish my sins would be forgiven and I could stay here," he continued. They both didn't realise that Roy's face was inching closer. "You don't know what it meant for me when you told me I could make my own decisions," he said—he had no idea why he was saying these things now, of all times, but they had been in his mind for quite a while. He usually didn't pour his heart out like that, but… he wanted to.
Edward sniffed and swallowed at the same time, mesmerized by the coal-black eyes and the warm hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at the taller man.
"R—Roy, is there a way to break the curse?" he asked him. It was a lame response, but he knew at that point that he didn't want the black-haired man to leave him, that he wanted to at least free him from the horrible hell he had been put into. Roy looked slightly taken aback.
"Yes," he murmured. "But I don't know what it is." Edward nodded.
"She didn't say anything?"
"No, only that I was the only one who would be able to break it," he said, shrugging. Edward nodded and leaned his forehead against Roy's.
"Roy, I promise you… I will find a way to break it."
(1) Sorry if this is slightly OOC… meh xD.
