Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is Jo's.

Today I have my date with Ken, Lily thought. Then she realized that James ruined this by saying that he had a date with her that day. Ken wouldn't listen to Lily's pleads and canceled their date. "Obnoxious jerk," Lily mumbled under her breath.

"Who is? Wait let me guess. James." Aimee had just joined Lily at the Great Hall.

Lily was about to answer Aimee's question when Ken walked into the room. Without thinking, Lily ran over to him. It was her last chance to have that date with him tonight. "I would never ever in a million years ever go out with that immature jerk, James," Lily blurted.

Are you serious because I don't want to go out with someone who already has a guy, you know?" Ken responded. Right on cue, James burst through the Great hall doors with the rest of the marauders.

"So Lils, where should we go on our date today? I was thinking that we should-"

"I thought you said you would never go out with him! Why'd you say that if you already have a date? That's it, I'm never listening to ou again. Our date is still canceled!" Ken stormed out of the room. "No but-" Lily tried to talk him out of it.

You! You little immature arrogant, arrogant, obnoxious cockroach!" Lily was now pointing her wand at James' head.

"Lily, I don't want to hurt you, and I definitely don't want you to hurt me." James was trying to push Lily's wand away from his face but it wasn't working very well.

"Don't worry, you won't have to," Lily said coming to her senses. As furious as she was, she did not want to get in trouble by the teachers who happened to be sitting down in their seats. She lowered her wand and went back to her seat at the table.

"Remind me to kill James when there aren't any witnesses Aimee," Lily said through clenched teeth.

James was hitting his head against the wall very hard, which was starting to scare Remus and Peter. "There's" Smack. "Got" Smack. "To" Smack. "Be" Smack. "A way" Smack. "To get" smack. "Lily to" Smack. "Go out" Smack. "With me." Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack.

"Prongs, you're starting to get a bump on your head from hitting the wall. Maybe you should stop," Remus said with concern

"Yeah, Moony's right. Go to the hospital wing. You'll feel better," Peter said worriedly. Every time someone got hurt, his reaction was telling them to go to the hospital and they'll feel better.

"Wormtail, it's just a little bump! There's no need to go to the hospital wing, idiot! Right Prongs? … Prongs?" James however was on his way to the hospital wing. Even if it was a big deal, he didn't want to walk around with a bump on his head. He figured that he'd tell her that he got in a fight. If he found Snape on his way there, he'd hex him to make it seem more realistic.

"I have a great plan to get James and Lily together," Sirius whispered to Remus and Peter.

"Oh dear lord, no." Remus remembered Sirius's last attempt to get them together. His "great plan" left scars all over Remus's body, including his buttocks.

"Hey! My last few plans didn't work out so well, but I am wonderfully smart so this plan will definitely work. You see first, we knock them out. Then we …"

James just returned to the common room and spotted Lily. He was going to go over to her but then stopped. He figured that she was still really mad at him and he should wait a while to let her cool down. The marauders beckoned him over. They were talking about Sirius's date that he was going to have.

"So I was thinking that we'd play one on one Quidditch, then sneak into the kitchen and eat a lot of food, then dress all the suits of armor up as girls. Then I'll take her back to the Common Room and she'll say what a nice night she had," Sirius explained to his friends.

"That's not going to work Padfoot," James said. Sirius has tried this on every girl he ever dated. As Sirius reminded them no girl can resist his charm. But they all hate his dates.

"It will too! Elle's different than the other girls I dated," Sirius said.

"That's what you said about Felicity."

"And Kim."

"And Sam."

"And-"

"Alright I get it! It'll work this time. I'll bet you five galleons it will.

'You're on mate," James said.

Ten minutes later James was handed five galleons from Sirius. "So what happened," Peter asked kindly.

"Well at first it was fine. Elle likes Quidditch you see. Then I told her that we were going to eat. We went to the kitchen and I asked the house elves for food and for some reason, she throws treacle fudge at my face and left," Sirius told the marauders. Sirius then whispered something in Remus's ear who nodded and whispered something in Peter's ear who also nodded.

Let's get started with our potions homework shall we? Remus asked. "I'm just going to get my books." James stared at him. He was holding his books. However, Remus still went off.

Sirius took his potions book and James as hard as he could on the head.

The unconscious Lily and James were somewhat leaning against the wall on the seventh floor.

Sirius and Peter were walking back and forth until a door appeared on the wall. The three of them quickly shoved Lily and James into the room and ran away.

"Where are we!" James had just woken up to find himself in a broom closet. The sound of James screaming woke Lily up.

"Would you be quiet," Lily screamed. She then realized that she was in a closet and screamed even louder. "Why are we in a closet? Potter! What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything! One minute Sirius was doing potions homework and the next minute I'm here. Wait, Sirius didn't…"James ran to the door and tried to open it. It didn't open. He used the Alohamora spell. It didn't open. He ran into it. He got a headache.

"Oh no. No. No. No no no! We are not trapped. I am not stuck with him," Lily started to panic.

"First sign of craziness- talking to yourself," James said.

"I am not going crazy!"

"Second sign- denial."

"I am not going crazy!" Lily started turning red with anger.

"Why are you going red? Are you losing air? AAAHH! Losing- air- can't- breathe1" Now James was panicking.

"You are not losing air Potter. You're just bugging me."

"Hmmm. You're right. But there's no food in here. OH MY GOD! WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

"We are not going to die Potter."

"We're Gonna Die. We're Gonna Die. We're Gonna Die. We're Gonna Die…"