Disclaimer: Yup, that's right. It's mine, all mine...Dang. It's alla strange and beautiful dream.

A/N: Ok, chapter four...hope you enjoy and please review. I'm trying to get back to all of you who are so dutifully reviewing, but dial-up is the worst connection ever. Please be patient, responses are coming.

Funeral for That Which Never Was

Chapter 4: Tombstone Envy

Driving away from the wreck of the day and I'm thinking 'bout calling on Jesus

'Cause love doesn't hurt, so I know I'm not falling in love I'm just falling to pieces.

Shadowed eyes watched from across the noisy bar as Max leaned close to whisper in Alec's ear, a cell phone clenched tightly in his fist. He knew she wouldn't have responded to his calls, not yet. But he wanted to give her a sign that he was still there, still willing to put the past behind them and accept her. It surprised him when she calmly snapped her beeper in half unceremoniously, ending its meager existence as a link between two wandering souls.

He hadn't intended to hide from Max. But he knew that she wasn't in the happiest of moods. He had been able to gather at least that speaking to Max when she was upset was not something he had the clout to do. He had seen Max depressed and saddened. He had seen her frustrated. He had seen her mad as hell. But this was a different kind of upset. It was an indefinable one.

When she had stopped her brother Ben, he let her cry—albeit, afraid of doing anything for fear of provoking her own killer tendencies. When he realized that Max was not the psychotic killer her brother was, he was only beginning to understand her.

Logan watched as Max placed a gentle hand on Alec's back. She stood and made her way to the door of Crash. He waited a few minutes before following in her wake, hoping that she was going home.


True to her word, as soon as Max stepped through the door of her apartment, she got out pots. Filling them with water and lighting the range top, she prepared the water for her bath. So what if it took an hour to boil enough water, she was going to have her bath. But, they really did need to get the water working somehow.

"Hey girl." OC voiced in greeting from her place on the couch. Noticing her expression she asked, "What's up?"

"I am going to have myself some girl time. Pampering, bath, no phone," Max poured the first two of the pots of water into the waiting tub. "You wanna contribute?"

"Sure thing, boo. What can Original Cindy do? Or who should Original Cindy lay the smack-down on?"

"I'm gonna have to say no to the smack-down. Violence limits the feel-good girly-ness. Pedicure?"

"You asking the right person. Original Cindy is the Nubian Queen of pampered feet and fingers. Leave the digits to me, you soak yourself in them bubbles, Boo."

Max sunk languidly into the hot water of her bath, complete with bubbles and baby oil. She dangled her feet out of the tub for OC to give the pedicure.

"Oh, and if Logan calls, I'm not here. I'm…at Alec's." Max decided he would be the safest buffer if Logan needed to contact her. If it was about what she knew it was going to be about, she could trust Alec to deflect any comment or question well enough. If it was anything else, she'd find out tomorrow at work when she met up with the male transgenic.

"And if it's Alec?"

"Then, give me the phone." Max stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, one which didn't even require an explanation.


Alec made it home from crash in a state of confusion.

Well, sort of.

He knew he had heard her right, had actually felt her hand gently touch his back as she left. But he had no idea what it meant. A hundred different possibilities passed through his mind, but he considered it safer not to focus on any one of them. If he had any hopes or expectations that weren't met, it would shatter their gradually growing friendship.

The first time I was really stupid after meeting Max was when I agreed to take the assignment to trail her and make sure Logan died. Now the guy rubs it in my face almost every time he sees me. He never says a word, but I can see it in his eyes. Alec shook his head. What ever happened to the benefit of the doubt, clean slate, or apologies? And he made sure Max never trusted me either, at first. Luckily now she's making up her own mind. He tossed his jacket on a chair.

Alec nearly jumped when the phone rang. "And I was going to have a nice quiet evening of television, too." He picked up the receiver and held it to his ear. "Alec."

"Logan. Hey, question for you. Do you have any idea what happened to Max's pager. I tried the number, but the call wouldn't go through."

"Uh. Unfortunate accident." Alec gave no details, Logan could speculate as much as he wanted.

"Max is there, right? Can I talk to her?"

Alec was stunned for a moment, then quickly recovered. Max really had to stop using him as a safety net of excuse. But considering the situation, he let it go. "Actually, she's trying to unwind. Bath and all that girl stuff, ya know. She asked me to not interrupt her. Including no phone. Sorry, Man."

"Oh. Right. She's having a bath at your place?"

"Yeah. I have running hot water here. This way, she doesn't have to boil twenty pots of water just to relax."

"Uh-huh." Logan sounded distracted.

"Hey man, you okay?"

"Yeah. She's avoiding me, won't answer my calls, won't talk to me when I make it past her answering machine…I don't know what to do. I don't know how to make her listen to me."

Alec gritted his teeth. "First of all, you don't make Max do anything!" He ground out. "Second, if she's made up her mind, you can't change it. You ought to know that."

"I do. That's what worries me. That's why I need to make her understand."

"If you can't grasp the fact that Max is an individual, capable of making up her own mind without input from other people, then you really are a lost cause."

"But I lo—"

"Good-bye, Logan." Alec hung up on the other man.


For the second time since Max got in her bath, the phone rang. She almost dreaded to hear the tones after the last two days of calls.

"Hey, Boo." OC answered from her place at the end of the tub where she focused on Max's toes, the pedicure almost complete. "Oh, Alec. Hi. Yeah, she's right here. Hang on." She handed the cordless to Max.

"What's up?"

"You are not going to believe what just happened."

"Logan call you?"

"Yeah. How'd you guess?" He asked dryly.

"Uh. I had OC deflect his call, told him I was hanging at your place. Sorry."

"No biggie, really."

"He bite?"

"Yeah, told him you were having a girly bath, no interruptions allowed. By the sounds of things, I was right, just a different locale."

"Yup. Girlie night. Me, OC, bath, much-needed pedicure and movies. So how'd it go?"

"Simple. He still thinks he has an opinion in your decision making. I informed him otherwise."

"Thanks, but I doubt he'll listen. He still doesn't trust you, you know."

"Yeah, I know. He never let go of the minor fact that I was supposed to be the guy to drag the two of you back to Manticore. I never did apologize for holding a gun on you that day. Sorry, Max. I know it couldn't have felt very good, reminiscent of Eva and all."

"It's okay."

"No, Max. It's not 'okay.' Can you forgive me for holding a gun on you?"

"Yes, Alec. I can and I have forgiven you. I'm sorry I never told you."

"Hey, now we both know, right? So, it's all good…'all de time'?"

Max laughed. "Yeah. Alec, I really wish you had been able to meet Herbal." OC turned at looked at Max, hearing her brotha's name. They all missed him. Since he moved, Jam Pony had never been the same."

"From what I hear, Biggs would have benefited more."

"Biggs wouldn't benefit from a steel I-beam."

"I don't know. I hit him once with a two-by-four when we had to fix part of the barracks, he seemed to wise-up a bit after that."

"And what was that for?"

"He was the one who decided to light a kerosene lantern, then smash it on the wall, just to see what happened."

"You have to be kidding."

"Nope. We were probably around twelve years old then."

"What did he get for punishment?"

"Iso for a week, followed by a stern talking to by Lydecker. He was still base commander then."

"When did they actually pull him?"

"I must have been around fourteen? Then we had a year of reprieve, no base commander to speak of for about ten months before Renfro got the desk. That's when everything got rearranged and—intensified."

"So you were almost fifteen? Hey, did you ever learn when your birthday was?"

"Naw. I always guessed it was in November, but I never really found out. Our files, as you know, we're top secret—even from us. Birth records, mission debrief reports…everything under lock and key. Everything hand written. They didn't digitize any of it. With our skills with computers, they didn't want to risk the information be exposed to us…no idea why. If it concerned us, wouldn't you think it would be our business to know? Freaking prison."

"Done with the feet, Boo." OC patted Max' ankle.

"I'm getting pruney, too. Damn."

"What?" Alec was curious.

"Nothing. It just makes it complicated."

"What does?"

"Getting a pedicure while taking a bath. I need to find a way out of the tub now, without ruining the nice job OC did on my feet."

"Am I gonna get to see this fine job?" He inquired playfully.

"What? You see my feet? Uh…erm." Max laughed nervously. Her feet were precious to her, there were only few trusted people who had ever seen her feet.

Alec heard the hesitancy and uneasiness in her reply. "If you don't want me to, just say no. I understand."

"It's not that…It's….I like my feet, okay? My feet are special to me. It's kinda like bearing my soul, ya know?"

"Yeah. I know."

"Alright, I'm gonna try this. Hang on a sec." He heard her set down the phone.

Sloshing water and a bathrobe later, Max had the phone to her ear again chatting with Alec as she sat on the couch, OC beginning a manicure on her left hand.

"Max, I thought you didn't want any interruptions during your bath, or the phone in your vicinity." Alec tried to grasp her reasoning speaking to him during her allocated down-time.

"It's relaxing talking to you. I don't have to worry about hiding my past or who I am… It's just me. That is relaxing. So, thanks actually, for calling.

"Nice to know I'm one of the girls now." He said, mimicking a Jersey girl.

"Alec."

"Okay, okay. Sorry. Okay, I'm not sorry. It was funny."

"No comment." Max smiled. "What are you doing? I mean right now, what are you doing?"

"Me? I'm flipping through the three channels that are actually still broadcasting on this side of the broken country."

"You wanna take a ride with me?"

He sat up in his chair shutting off the TV and placing the remote on the side table. "Where to?"

"Wherever the road goes? It's rare that I don't have a bound purpose for riding my motorcycle. I think my baby needs a vacation. Care to come along?"

"Sure. You want me to meet you there?"

"Naw, I'll come get you."

"A'right."

Max set the phone down, the connection having been terminated. OC stared at her, a knowing smile on her lips. Max caught the look and bit her lip. She knew what OC was thinking, and OC was right. "I don't want to admit anything. You know it and I know it, but if I say it out loud, I don't want anything to change between Alec and me. We're finally good friends—I want us to stay good friends."

"But if you want more than good friends, that doesn't mean that your friendship will evaporate. Take a chance, Boo. You can't risk not taking the opportunity."

"I want to get this thing with Logan out of the way before anything else. He's hounding me, so before I can be happy and able to pursue something else with someone else, I need to get him off my case."

"Say what you want, but you are acting like a school girl with a crush. Nearly giddy, talking for hours on end on the phone. He's a lucky guy. If he only knew." OC stared off dreamily, nearly mocking her.

"Shut up." Max smiled. "I gotta get dressed so I can go get him."

"I heard." OC lightly touched Max's shoulder. "Go get your boy. And have fun."

Max nodded and pushed herself up from the couch, heading for her room and a clean change of clothes.

With OC's help, Max had two solid hours of spa-like treatment. Girl-time is unsurpassed. Bath, pedicure, manicure and girly movies, what else is needed? The call from Alec had been nice too. They hadn't talked like that in a long time. She decided they needed to honestly speak to one another more often. It made their friendship more real. Made her realize how badly she had been taking advantage of him.

Before, she never would have considered speaking to him about personal matters. But the thing with the Barrisfords made her watch Alec more closely, to look for the signs that proved he wasn't as 'alright' as he always claimed to be. And after explaining the situation with Ben to him, he seemed to be a lot more open with her. She returned the favor, and they shared stories of Manticore and their life on the outside. Max had quite a bit more to talk about when it came to living outside the fence, but Alec opened her eyes to a world she had missed out on in running from Manticore. She never had the opportunity to go on missions, she missed out on the adventure of seeing different countries and their cultures. She told him as much, but he only shrugged it off. When he returned to base, it was still a prison, he admitted.

Now in jeans and a black top, her leather jacket in hand, Max headed for his door. She knocked twice. "Get your butt out here."

"Ah," Alec stumbled. He looked once more out the window he peered through before turning back to the interior of his apartment. "I gotta find my jacket first."

Max opened the door. "You're kidding." She looked around. "Holy crap, Alec. You could clean up a bit."

"Hey, if I'm not under the ruling thumb of a whack government instillation, I can be as messy as I want. No spot checks. Don't you love the freedom?"

"Yeah, the freedom's great. But the ideal scenario would be being able to find what you're looking for with little or no effort."

"Couch. That's where I tossed it after I got back from Crash." Alec glanced at her as he shifted a box and some reading material. "See, I know where it all is, I just need to unbury it." He pulled the worn brown leather jacket from beneath the pile. "Voila!"

"Very good. Can we go now?"

"And I thought I was the one with a short attention span."

"You're rubbing off on me, what can I say?" Max hid her face, turning for the door. "Let's get this party started!"

The two transgenics exited the building, Max tugging on Alec's arm. A familiar Pontiac Aztec sat parked across the street. Alec had first noticed the vehicle when he was waiting for Max.

"Hey." He nodded almost imperceptibly at the car. He regretted bringing her attention to the car as soon as the word escaped his lips.

"Dammit!" Max fought the urge to flip off the car. That would be immature.

Alec observed her inner struggle knowingly. She needed to get away. "Hey," he took her arms, "do you think you'd let me drive your baby?"

"What?" Max didn't quite hear his question, so wrapped up was she in restraining herself from smashing in Logan's windows. "I guess." She handed him her keys.

"Then, let's blaze."

She nodded, thanking him. They straddled the machine and headed off into the night, not caring what was behind them.


A/N: Well, what do you think? I like this chapter a lot. But I really really really really want feedback from you all. PLEASE!