Affectionate Obsessions

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. The rest belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Note: Yes, the song (really lame, trust me. But it was meant that way) written here is an original, by me. Just so you know. And thank you to the people who have read, and reviewed this story! Sorry for the late update; I'm experiencing writer's block and no time to write. This is also the explanation for my other stories. I'm really sorry. But please, I hope you like this chapter anyway!

Chapter 5

One A.M Talks

October rolled in without much fanfare. Lily was avoiding James as much as possible, seeing as she was still reeling from the fact that they had kissed and that she had actually liked it. James, on the other hand, was getting frustrated over the fact that he hadn't been able to see Lily—he was now so sure that she was furious at him. He had tried to catch her in class, but she would always bolt out first. He knew the right thing to do—apologize. In a normal way. But it, sadly, wouldn't be an easy feat. Not for him.

Especially when he had the rest of the Marauders for best friends.

James's POV

I haven't seen her in 5 days, 14 hours, 10 minutes, and 27-no wait, 29 seconds.

5 days, 14 hours, 10 minutes, and- wait, it's now, 31 seconds.

It's a miracle I'm still alive.

It's hard not being able to see her, damn, it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. And that included the time I lost a bet and Sirius had me wear a yellow sundress and a headband to the Great Hall one time. Such a horrifying experience.

Especially since yellow isn't exactly my color. I'm actually more inclined to browns, as they accentuate my eyes and compliment my complexion—

Great. Just great. This is how insane I've become; I'm now talking about what color suits me instead of playing Quidditch or something. I am so pathetic.

Anyway, back to the main topic. Even if we share the same common room, I haven't seen her at all—I suspect that she's been timing it right so that she arrives and locks herself up in her room when I'm not yet around, so she won't be able to see me. I want to talk to her, but it's just----

Oh my god! A flash of red! That shade of red is unmistakable—it has to be Lily! Finally, she goes somewhere (the lakeside) where I am present! Wait a second, what am I saying, I can't see her! What will I say? Should I be all, 'Lily, we need to talk about what happened'? Or should I be all straight forward and say, "Lily, I loved kissing you, can we do it again sometime'? Crap, that sounds so lame; she's probably hit me on the head and----

"Damn, Remus, your plan totally backfired," Sirius said, looking frustrated. "Instead of bringing this red quaffle to make him snap to attention, he's spaced out while thinking about Lily!"

I looked up, and blinked when I saw my three best mates waiting expectantly at me, Sirius holding a bright red quaffle that only a crazy person would mistake as the mop of hair of a certain red-head.

Wait a minute, I think I just insulted myself. Is that even possible? Anyway…….

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked them, as they sat beside me. "Shouldn't you be off raiding the kitchens or something?"

Sirius shook his head. "Not this time, we spotted McGonagall near the area on the Marauder's Map. But mate," his tone changed. "We wanted to talk to you. What is going on with you, James?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since you had that detention with Lily and she blew up at you during Potions, you seem to have something on your mind all the time," Peter answered.

Since when was Peter this observant?

"It's nothing, guys, it's just……I'm pretty sure that she's mad at me―."

"Mad?" Sirius scoffed. "Only yesterday, I heard her say to Kailey that she wanted to gouge your eyes out and feed them to the Giant Squid."

Oh yeah, Sirius, thanks a lot for making me feel soo much better.

"Not helping, Padfoot," I gritted out, sighing.

Remus laughed. "James, you just need to apologize to her for whatever you did. Say sorry. That's all!"

"Yeah," Sirius added. "Besides, what you did probably wasn't really that bad. I mean, it's not as if you guys kissed or anything―."

Okay. Is Sirius physic or something?

"What makes you say that?" I replied, my voice sounding-gasp- like a girl. This caused a few eyebrows to rise.

"Nothing Prongs, jeez," Sirius replied, sounding bored of the conversation. I sighed again.

"Mate, this isn't like you," Peter added, rolling his eyes. "Just stand up and apologize already, that isn't so hard to do!"
You know what? They're right. What's so hard in saying sorry? All you have to do is walk over to her, open your mouth, and say your apology, and also be prepared to beg and grovel. Easy, right?

Sure, really easy, considering that Lily would most likely feed me to the Giant Squid first before I could speak.

"It's not that easy, guys, I need something romantic and interesting. I need a plan," I said firmly. The boys exchanged worried glances.

"James, I don't think―."

"Prongs, why don't you just―."

"That's a great idea! I know just the thing!" Sirius suddenly said in utmost enthusiasm, grinning that I-have-a-plan grin of his.

Uh-oh.

"Sirius, maybe you should let me plan by myself," I said, and the other two nodded eagerly.

"Oh come on, just listen to this, it's great, trust me!" And with that, Sirius told me his idea. Which, for some twisted, innate reason, was actually quite sensible and might actually work. I found myself nodding.

"You know," I said slowly. "Your plan could work, it's actually pretty good!" Peter groaned and Remus sighed in exasperation.

"James, don't you think you should think things through?" he told me.

"Why should I when everything's all planned out?" I replied back at him.

"I'll even be in charge of the equipment, this is gonna be great!" And with that, Sirius gave me one last grin and sped off, leaving us behind.

"James, do you think that trusting Sirius with your Apologize to Lily plan was the wisest thing to do?" Remus said, fixing me a look.

"Yes."

Little did I know that I was about to regret making that little decision after awhile.

END P.O.V.

..------..

"Apologizing to Evans, eh?" Bellatrix eyes glittered maliciously at this piece of information. "Potter's planning to apologize to Evans?"

"Yes," Severus Snape said, trying to be patient. "I told you twice already. I heard that blood-traitor and his idiot friends talking about it a while ago."

"I wonder why he wants to apologize to that mudblood anyway," Bella's eyes narrowed as she spat out the vile insult. "It's beneath him, but then again, he and his worthless friends are all blood traitors, so what do they know?"

A light suddenly sparked in her eyes. "Wait, Severus, I've been struck by an excellent idea."

"I know that look, Bella," Severus said, trying to be serious, although the malicious expression on his face gave away his enthusiasm somewhat. "You're thinking of sabotaging Potter's plans, aren't you?"

"Of course I am, would I ever miss an opportunity to make his life miserable? And you, Severus, will help me." At his raised brow, she added, "It will be an easy task, I'm sure. After all, as you said, my worthless cousin is arranging things, is he not? This will not be in the least bit difficult."

As Severus nodded his assent, Bella sat closer to him. "Come now, Severus, we must plan, carefully, just to be sure. After all, I want to make sure that nothing goes right."

..------..

The night wind brushed cold against James Potter's skin as he walked determinedly to Lily's bedroom window, chiding himself for not bringing a coat. In his grasp was his guitar, and he was clearing his voice from time to time to make sure it sounded nice, or at least decent.

Finally arriving there, he set down the guitar on the ground and grabbed a tiny pebble from the ground. He threw it on Lily's window, hoping that it would wake her, whispering, "Lily!"

It didn't work. The pebble simply hit the glass and bounced back to the ground. Not caring, James took another small pebble and threw it again on the window. No such luck.

By the end of five small pebble throws, he was beginning to get frustrated. He was already freezing, and he had left his wand at his room. He turned to the side, and found a big stone perched on the ground. Grinning to himself, he picked it up and threw it with all his might into Lily's window.

LILY'S P.O.V

One a.m in the morning.

That's the time right now. One o'clock in the morning. It's still very dark out, and in my room, I rested in peaceful slumber.

Or I did rest in peaceful slumber, until all of a sudden a loud crash of glass and a sharp hit on the arm woke me up from it. Startled, I shivered when a gust of wind passed. But wait a minute; I closed the window, what was---

Oh dear lord. My window glass is broken. And I've just spotted what hit me. A really big stone that somebody threw at my window. What an idiot.

Okay, what is going on here? Ever since Potter and I kissed, strange things have been occurring in my life. First I blow up in Potions, then I mistake my socks for my hat, then now I'm hearing a voice in my head whispering my name distinctly-----

Wait a second, that's not a voice in my head (thank goodness, I was beginning to think that I was delusional). Someone's calling me from out the window! As I got up from bed and took on my robe, I could hear the voice again.

"Lily! Lily!" the person, undeniably male, hissed. I froze.

I knew that voice. I knew that voice only too well. And I even recognize the idiocy of the previous actions too. Eyes narrowing, I walked towards my window, but cleaning up the broke glass first with my wand. I looked down, and sure enough, James Potter was there, grinning that stupid grin of his and wearing no coat despite the cold.

"Potter what the hell do you think you're doing?" I hissed from below. "It's bloody one am in the morning, you prat!"

"Hello Lily!" he said brightly, smiling at me then bending down to get something I couldn't see. He came into view again, and my narrowed eyes turned wide.

James Potter was on bended knee, a rose on his shirt pocket, a guitar (how it got to Hogwarts, I will never know)rested on his knee, and clearing his throat.This could only mean one thing.

He was about to serenade me. At one in the morning.

Merlin, no, no, no, please, let not that be his intention! I haven't really heard him sing, but I really don't want to hear him, just in case he sounds like a terribly off-key banshee. Besides, what sane guy appears on your window at one in the morning to serenade you? Hello, this is the seventies, not the Victorian ages, what timeline did this guy get stuck in?

"Potter, don't, please―" I tried to say but he brushed me off.

"Lily, I want to apologize to you for what happened during September. Please. You won't talk to me, you brush me off, so I think my only option is to express it in song." And he began to strum the guitar.

But no sound came out.

Both of us were surprised. Red faced and surprised. Why was his guitar not sounding? Musical instruments were hard to put silencing charms upon. What was going on here? He wasn't singing, and he wasn't playing the guitar.

I sighed in relief.

I looked down again, and resisted the urge to smirk. James was looking flustered as he tried again, to now avail. He inspected his guitar. "Ah Lils…I ehem….I mean…." He stuttered as he frantically looked his instrument over. This was definitely not going the way he had planned.

Suddenly, he placed the guitar back into the case and turned back to me, still a bit red- faced but looking determined all the same.

"You know Lily? Forget the music, I'll sing a capella! It'll sound better that way; you'd be able to hear my voice more!" He said in an overly-enthusiastic voice.

I closed my eyes, trying not to be so horrified. He was actually going to sing to me without musical accompaniment! This couldn't be good; at least with the instrument, his voice could be drowned out. But now……

I should have just left and went back to bed. Heck, I should have just yelled, 'Potter, go away, I don't want to hear your pathetic apology!' But before I could leave, took a deep breath and said, "This is for you, Lils. I'm really sorry." And he began to sing.

I know I messed up

I know I did something wrong

Ruined whatever chance I might have had

Cuz I came on too strong

Wanted, and loved you for so long

I can't even begin to

Describe the way you make me feel

But…..you'd always push me away

You'd shoot me down every time

Then something happened

We kissed it felt like heaven

But you seem to hate what I did

So here I am, right now, to say that……

I'm sorry for what I did last September

I'll admit I was a little too carried away

Never meant to cause you any worry

I love you please, I hope you accept my sorry.

Well, I was wrong. He didn't sound like a terribly off-key banshee. Oh no.

He sounded much worse.

His words were slurred and his voice, so loud, would falter during the higher notes. He was horrendously off-key, and it sounded as if the voice didn't come from him.

He abruptly shut his mouth and stared at me in horror, his face probably even redder than mine. Way up in the Tower, I resisted the urge to laugh.

"Potter you probably woke the entire castle with your singing; that was terrible!" I called out, resisting a giggle that was threatening to escape my lips. James looked so mortified; I stopped my laughing and almost felt sorry for the poor guy. I mean, he did get up at an ungodly hour just to serenade me to show that he was sorry—

But he also broke my window, woke me up at one am, and hit me on the arm in the process. Not only that, but his voice was horrible and so loud and embarrassing that I wouldn't be surprised if half on Hogwarts had heard him.

Hmm, let's see here, which matters more to me? Potter's mortification or mine? Hmm, weigh it down evenly……Ah yes. Mine of course.

"Lily, I don't know what happened!" He was yelling. "That wasn't my voice, I swear!"

I rolled my eyes. "Potter, why don't you get back to the Head's common room before you freeze to death out there?" Only when I saw his smirk did I realize the way my words sounded.

"Concerned about me, are you?" James….er, Potter, said cockily, all traces of embarrassment gone the instant I said those words. Now there was a conceited smile on his face.

Prat.

"No, Potter, I'm more concerned about that plant you've been stepping on for the past few minutes, now get yourself in here before you cause me any more embarrassment," I called out, glaring at him.

"As you wish, my dearest," he said cheerfully. He picked up his guitar, and before I knew it, he was gone. I sighed and slumped onto the floor.

What on earth did I do to deserve this!

Putting on my robe, I sighed and walked out of my bedroom and was surprised to see him already in the Head's common room. How he got there so fast, I didn't know.

I walked to him and rolled my eyes when I saw that stupid smile on his face again. "Hey Lils," he said, in an almost sheepish tone. "So uh….did you like my presentation?"

"Of course I liked it, Potter," I said, the sarcasm clear and evident. "I mean, I just love being woken up at one in the morning to be serenaded by some guy who sings like a banshee."

He paid no mind to my insult. "So uh…do you accept it? My apology, I mean?"

"I don't know," I replied, truthfully, this time. I wasn't really mad at him, or anything, but, shameful as it sounded, it was better to just pretend. "I really don't know, Potter."

He stared at me incredulously. "What? After all that effort I put in to it, and you don't know?"

"Yes." A thought entered my head. "Why did you choose to serenade your apology anyway?"

"Because," he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Girls like stuff like that. Everyone knows that girls fall for romantically crappy actions like that one, so I thought that you'd like it too."

That flared my temper up. I don't know why it was so sudden, but I guess, all my pent-up emotions were finally reaching the surface, and he was my only venting outlet.

"You just don't get it, do you, Potter?" I snapped, balling my fists. "I'm not like other girls, who fall easily for moonlight serenades, flowers, chocolate, and all that romantic crap! I don't want some perfect prince charming on a white horse who'll treat me like some glass sculpture, I want a guy who'll treat me like a real person, who'll respect and care for me and for my flaws. I want a guy who's real around me, and I'm sorry, Potter, but you're just not giving me that!"

"Evans−"

"Shut up, Potter, it isn't your time to talk," I continued. I guess there was no stopping me now. "And what aggravates me most is that around me you act all arrogant, and uncaring, but I've seen you with other persons; that isn't how you act all the time! Basically, you keep trying to impress me by being some sort of dumb jerk, how the hell am I supposed to believe that you actually care for me when you don't even act real around me? So I'm sorry, James Potter, but unless you can show who you really are, then I'm just not interested!"

And with that, I stormed back up the room, face red from yelling, knowing that I left a dumbstruck and probably speechless James Potter behind me.

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How was that? Hopefully that made up for more or less 3 months of not updating. Please read and review!