Chapter eight, holy shit.
When I started this, I never thought it'd come this far. It was just a spur of the moment kind of thing, and this is the only story I've ever been this dedicated to. I have all of you to thank for that, for keeping me motivated with all your support and kind words of encouragement. Thank you so much. I'm also 90% sure I say this in every chapter... Oh well!
I had a vague idea of where I wanted this to go, but with that being said, my brain takes things to weird places sometimes, so expect the unexpected. Also, this is going to be a lengthy chapter, to make up for the last one. I owe you that much. Enjoy!
Tasting Fire
Alucard wasn't long leaving Sir Integra's chambers, a sullen look on his face and a weight that felt foreign on his chest.
That woman really knew how to make him think for a second whether he'd like to give her credit for that or not. She had a way of manipulating the chaotic train wreck of thoughts in his head into a somewhat calm sea, where things were clarified and he could think clearly. Freely, almost. A place where he could decipher right and wrong.
By human standard, anyway.
Thinking of humans and their standards, he found himself lost in another kind of thought. Sometimes he longed for the days where the rays of sunshine weren't something to be feared, when a blade slicing through his skin would hurt and when fire was something that he warmed himself by.
Those moments of longing were more frequent these days, all thanks to the fragile little girl that, up until a few weeks ago, had been by his side with every beck and call.
But was he truly willing to change for her? No, of course he couldn't take back the humanity he'd damned so long ago, but perhaps he could try being somewhat human, if even only for a moment. For her. It would be a feat so difficult to accomplish, but he was closer to tasting that bittersweet symphony of life now than he was before he'd met her.
She, even absent, constantly brought life to things he thought had died within him so many years ago. There was emotion he once knew so well dancing like wildfire in his veins, there was a new feeling in his chest every time he so much as thought of her. There was something inside of him that was so human and it was desperately trying to break free.
And perhaps... perhaps now he should let it.
That's what she deserved, wasn't it? Not the cruel and humiliating fucked up way he showed her affection, but a softer, more delicate treatment?
And yet he didn't even truly know if she'd give him another chance. She'd given him countless times to reform, and every single time he betrayed her. He tortured her when she'd so willingly let herself be vulnerable.
Did he deserve a softer treatment?
-oOo-
"I know it's here somewhere..."
Seras' voice was muffled and absorbed by the clothing hanging from the rail inside of the wardrobe she was currently rooting in, carelessly ripping things out from their snug homes on the shelves only to throw them carelessly behind her.
She was half-heartedly packing her bags. She wasn't quite sure why, but she felt as though it was the right thing to do.
She felt as though she no longer had a place within the Hellsing mansion, much less the organization. She'd failed her duty as an officer, she'd lost her heart to a man who'd crushed it beneath his heel, she'd forgotten what the streets of her once beloved home looked like...
Seras no longer had a place to belong to. Not here, not now.
But she was no where near finished packing, and she was taking her time with it simply because a small part of her longed for someone to find her and beg her to stay, to say she was wanted and needed and she couldn't go.
There was, of course, the huge doubt in her mind that such a thing would ever happen, but she had decided if it would take her long enough, surely someone was bound to notice.
On her mind in that moment though, was where she'd placed the small handgun she'd first been allowed to have when she was initially brought into the mansion. It was the only firearm she could probably take with her, and better that than nothing at all.
She knew the risks of leaving.
Hellsing's one and only objective was to seek and destroy all monsters and demons that threatened humanity. Seras was now one of those beastly things, yet she wasn't quite ready to die yet. She knew they'd hunt her when she left. She knew they'd find her and annihilate her, not bothering to ask if she'd even completed her transformation yet.
They didn't care. She was a threat regardless, something that wasn't human. And she would die by their hand sooner or later.
But with that little gun, she would feel somewhat settled.
She was pulled from her thoughts with a knock at her door.
"Come in," she called, curious as to who it could be. She doubted it'd be the monster she never wanted to look in the face again.
Just as she was about to stop the door from opening for fear it would be her Master, the wooden panel creaked open, and Walter's kind face peeped around the corner. "I apologize for the intrusion, Miss Victoria," said Walter, his sweet voice causing a shiver of relief to tickle through Seras' body, "I just wanted to pop in and check on you."
The Draculina let out a small, choked laugh before straightening herself up and brushing off her clothes. She ran a hand through her disheveled hair before shrugging her shoulder. "I'm alright, I suppose. Thank you, Walter."
He said nothing as his eyes glanced down towards the mountain of half-folded clothes laying in a sad heap at her feet, and she immediately bent to start scooping up armfuls of the mess, her cheeks blazing with embarrassment.
"Can I assist you with something?" he asked tentatively, a cynical eyebrow risen as she shoved things back into the chaotic wardrobe.
"No, no! Everything's fine, I was just, um, cleaning. Yes, cleaning. I have a system, it doesn't always look like this," Seras blurted out, unwilling to allow him clean up yet another one of her messes. He was so kind, but she felt as though maybe she was wearing him thin these days with her sad, melodramatic life. "Really, it's quite alright."
Despite her futile attempt at assuring him she didn't need his help, he stepped into her dungeon-like room and began to pick up articles of clothing before folding them neatly. Seras could have slapped her jumper out of his hands for the pure shame he put her to with his neatness.
"Ah, actually, Walter?" she said after a moment of silence, earning a curious glance in her direction. She tried to ignore it. "Would you happen to know where that small handgun went? The one you gave to me when I was first brought here."
Against my will, she added silently, but chose not to say it.
She never wanted to seem ungrateful for the treatment Walter had given her constantly since she'd arrived, and she knew it wasn't his fault, not in the slightest, that she was brought here. All while Hellsing had turned into her own personal Hell, Walter had done nothing but try to help her through it, even in the smallest of ways.
He was the one soul she'd truly miss when she left.
"I'm not too sure, Miss Victoria," he said, pausing midway through folding a shirt. "Perhaps it would be in your old chambers still?"
The world froze for a moment, and Seras was stunned into silence, a chilling paralysis setting deep inside of her. Her eyes widened an inch, and her hands numbed. Her old chambers... the place that reeked of blood and misery, the place she'd abandoned all hope of her Master ever knowing what love was.
That room was just a room, and yet to her, it was something she didn't think she could ever face again.
"Do... is... Is it empty?"
Seras could barely recognize her own voice, its tone so delicate and broken, her words coming out just above a mere whisper. Her head felt as though it was spinning atop her shoulders, and she reached out a hand to steady herself against the wardrobe.
She could barely register Walter's concerned face in her line of vision as he took a step closer, his eyebrows furrowed in that expression of worry she was so used to seeing as he looked at her.
"Apart from all your belongings, yes, it's empty, and I made sure it was tidy in case you ever decided to reside in it again," he said as he reached out a hand to place it reassuringly on Seras' arm. "My dear, are you alright?"
She managed a feeble nod and a less-than-genuine smile in his direction, closing her eyes for a moment, wishing desperately the spinning room would still itself. She felt overcome by nausea and her skin prickled in a hot flush, her breathing increasing despite her deep, controlled breaths.
"I'm okay, I just... That room. It doesn't hold many good memories."
She had never explicitly told Walter what had happened in there, and she never really intended to, but it was unspoken between them that they both knew what Alucard was capable of. She didn't have to say anything at all – he just knew. And that was fine with her.
"I understand. If you'd like, I can go and fetch it for you?"
And then Seras could have broken down and cried, simply because the kindness Walter continued to show her made her feel both elated and worthless. She was undeserving of his sweet nature and comforting words, and yet he never showed her any other side of him.
But instead, she shook her head, opening her eyes to smile at him, even if it was a broken sort of smile. "No, that's okay, Walter. I'll go myself. I'd like to have a look around up there, anyway. But really, thank you. Thank you so much."
Seras didn't think as her arms suddenly flung themselves over Walter's broad shoulders, and she enveloped him in a hug she so desperately needed. She felt as his body stiffened against her a moment before he tentatively relaxed, feeling his hand pat her back ever so gently. He chuckled, and it was such a warm, genuine sound.
"I'll leave you to it, then."
She promptly removed herself from him and stepped back sheepishly, grinning like a small child at him as he turned on his heel and left, closing the door softly behind him.
And for a moment, Seras felt joy. It had been so long that the initial warm feeling in her tummy felt unwelcome, and then it spread throughout her and she felt so much better than she had in a long time. She felt peaceful almost. And that was something she could never put into words to thank him for. She wouldn't know how to start.
-oOo-
Alucard was wandering.
It wasn't something he did very often, simply because the maze of hallways that made up the Hellsing mansion had become so very easy to navigate. It would be a waste of what was usually precious time, but now, he felt... lost. As though time didn't matter.
His footsteps echoed among the empty halls, their sounds tolling through the air like a heavy church bell resonating with a funeral march.
And that's what he felt like. A dead man.
He'd spent more than enough time cursing the very moment he chose to save that little brat who had caused him so much grief in such a short amount of time. He should have damned her and let her die on the steps of that holy house. That would have been the easiest thing to do, the safest thing to do, the one thing that would have preserved his sense of self.
But there was something he'd seen in her that he just... couldn't let die. Something inside of her screamed for him to save her, and even now, when he was practically ripping the grey matter inside of his head apart, he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was.
And yet there was something that wasn't quite right.
"Had I known this was my eternity, I would have slit my throat that first night!"
He could hear his Draculina's words so clearly, their shrill callousness seared deep within his brain. That sentence... it was one he couldn't ever forget, the sound of her broken heart as it shone through her words, unmasking itself, revealing to him just how much pain he'd caused her.
He could have let her die. He should have. Death was something she would have bowed to willingly, and yet he kept her close for her own selfish reasons. He couldn't see past his own desires to care for her wishes. And that was coming back, time and time again, to haunt him.
A forlorn sigh ripped itself from his mouth as he prepared to turn around and seek solitude in his own darkened chambers, before he heard what he presumed was rummaging.
Against his better judgement, he glanced up, only to see where he'd subconsciously stumbled to. It was the hallway in which Seras' old bedroom was located, and he frowned, seeing the door cracked the tiniest bit.
He took a step forward, and another, until all of a sudden all he could smell was her. Her blood as it raced through her veins, that faint yet sugar-sweet scent of her golden hair, the slight saltiness of her pale flesh. He could smell her, and her scent wrapped around him like an enticing lure. The tendrils of her smell pulled on his heartstrings, stirring the beginnings of lust and hunger and a strange twinge of unfamiliar sadness.
She's right there.
The beast he so hated was standing on its hind legs, panting eagerly as it pulled against the collar it wore, the chains of its confines rattling with a fierceness that made him feel a surge of sudden rage before he reluctantly swallowed it, refusing the beast access to his brain.
If he were to confront her, it would be without hate, without lust, without hunger. It had to be without those things, or he would be sure to lose her for good.
The No-Life King braved a step forward, reaching to door. His palm lay flat against it, but he paused, simply listening for a moment, basking in his Draculina's delectable scent.
She made no sounds, but he could hear her heart beating, her breaths coming in relaxed pulls, heard the slight shift of every piece of clothing she wore. She was right there, and yet he was almost afraid to approach her.
What was it he feared? Was it the rejection? Was it the look of fear he'd undoubtedly see in her eyes as he came close? Or perhaps it was the possibility she might be happy to see him. That was probably the most terrifying thing he could think of. If she were happy to see him, it would mean she'd simply forgotten about each and every individual moment of torture he'd forced her to endure.
But he needed to see her, even if it was for the last time. He needed to lay his eyes upon her moonlit skin, her golden locks, those deep wells of molten blue he had missed so dearly. She was the most enchanting piece of deadly nightshade he could ever hope for, and whether she knew it or not was irrelevant.
And so before he could change his mind, he gave the door a small nudge, allowing it to swing open with a ghastly creak.
He entered just in time to see Seras jump, clearly startled, and nearly missed the little blur of silver as she turned on her heel, her hands clasping a handgun between her delicate fingers, the muzzle aimed directly at his chest.
Instinctively, he rose his hands in surrender, painfully aware of the shock that unwillingly marred his features in that moment where both of them were just as surprised as the other.
He saw as her defensive pose melted away and an expression of what looked like relief and pain wash over her features, her hands slowly lowering to her sides. He watched silently as she raised a single hand to run her fingers through her messy tendrils, a sigh leaving his Draculina's lips.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. They just stared at one another, feeling each other's pain and misery and anger.
"I could have shot you," she said, but her voice wasn't what he remembered it to be. Her tone was weary and guarded, like she was afraid of what he may do to her. Like she was cautious of him, the same way he imagined someone to be cautious of a rabid animal.
He took a step further into the room, closing the door slowly behind him. He watched her react, watched as every muscle in her body tightened and her posture stiffened to that of rigor mortis. He watched, a dagger piercing through his chest, as the brief look of terror crossed her face. And then it was gone.
This is wrong.
"You could have, yet you didn't," Alucard murmured, deciding to take what came to him in his stride. He wasn't sure how to handle her like this. She wasn't overly emotional, but she wasn't entirely closed off either. She was treating him like a stranger somehow, and it was cold and not what he imagined at all. "How have you been?"
It was such a disgusting question.
How dare he ask her that? He knew full well how she had been, despite abandoning her when she'd searched for solitude and safety. He knew how filthy she had felt, how violated.
And yet he was at a loss once again for anything else.
"Fine."
Her reply caught him off guard, its short politeness making his blood run cold.
This isn't right. You know this is all wrong. It's all wrong.
But why was it wrong? What about this made it so wrong that even his twisted inner mind was sounding alarm bells? So far, nothing had been said, nothing harmful – though he was sure she didn't mean for it to be so polite – and he hadn't made a move to physically touch her. Why was it wrong? Why?
"Just fine?" the No-Like King asked, obviously unsettled by her choice of words. Uncertain of her lie.
She turned away from him ever so slightly, and he recognized that unfathomable defense mechanism. She was distancing herself from him already, and that wasn't a good sign. It was practically devastating.
"Yes." She watched him from the side of her vision, a hesitant twist of a grimace taking its place on her lips. "And you?"
He could have laughed at the stiff pleasantries they were exchanging. It all seemed so frivolous, yet absolutely necessary, and destructively ironic. This wasn't how they were supposed to be, yet they were reduced to this by Alucard's own will. It was his fault. It had always been his fault.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking," he said with an unintentional sorrow. "Thinking which has led me to be not 'fine', as you so falsely put it."
That earned him her full attention. Her brows rose and he felt as a shiver of anger ran through her bright and child-like aura. She turned to face him, taking a step forward, her footfall causing a sharp thud to ring through the air. Her brows had furrowed into a look of hostility. Her entire body language changed, and yet there was still that faint presence of distance.
"Falsely put it? Excuse me?" she said, and it wasn't the Seras he'd grown to care for. This was a woman, a fierce portrayal of the Goddess she was and had been all along deep down inside. "Would you rather I lay at your feet and cry about how much I've missed you and anticipated your return?"
And suddenly, he felt alarmed.
"No, Seras, that isn't what I – "
"Of course it wasn't. No, you're right," she said, and there was the undeniable undertone of sarcasm in her bitter voice, "you'd much prefer if I knelt before you and begged for your forgiveness."
She took another advance towards him, and another, until there was mere inches between them.
But still, there was something out of place.
The very first time he had sought her out to apologize, she'd done this all before, but she'd been furious. There was a rage inside of her like a storm that refused to quell, a miserable cloud of self-pity that hung over her head, matched only by the fury she'd been fueled by.
This, however, was so disturbingly different.
He wasn't facing a little girl confused by her feelings. This was a scorned woman standing before him, who was rational and calm and calculated. She was angry, yes, but there was no wildness about it. There was a tranquility of sorts surrounding her, that distance acting as a dam between her raw, unfiltered emotion and the words she chose to speak.
"Or would you want me to speak at all, I wonder? No, you wouldn't. You'd much rather undo your belt and force me to my knees, and shove yourself inside of my mouth. You want me silenced, only to make a sound when I'm choking on you. Or when you're ramming that thing inside of me relentlessly. Otherwise, why should I speak at all? What use am I to you other than a slut?"
With all the hate cascading from her mouth, she was so eerily calm.
And that's what really drove the dagger deep into him. The fact that she was so steady in her choice of poison. She no longer cared about hurting him. She wanted him to see the damage he'd done.
And by God, was he seeing it.
"Save your feeble attempts to save yourself this time, Alucard," she snapped, her eyes narrowing into venomous little slits, "because they're empty words, and I have no more patience for those. You don't care to apologize because of my feelings, you only want forgiveness so you can dig your claws deep inside of me again and hold me down and choke me while you fuck me into – "
"Enough."
The word exploded from his mouth before he'd even thought to say it. Her words dripped with hatred yet there was so much truth, and every word she spoke was another inch the dagger was driven in deeper.
He closed his eyes and stumbled back a step, feeling the bubbling rage swell inside of him and he knew he couldn't afford to let it lose. Physically, they weren't on even playing ground, but she was tearing him to shreds with a harsh recollection of what he'd done to her. He couldn't win as she spoke, and she didn't even want his apology.
She wanted nothing but peace from him, and he couldn't even give her that.
"Enough?" she asked, bitterly mocking him. Seras stepped forward again, refusing to allow any secure space to open up between them. She was cornering him, just like he'd done to her so many times, and it felt disturbingly wrong. "It's not enough. It will never be enough. For everything you've done to me, what I have said, it is not enough."
Alucard opened his eyes and snarled into her face, feeling the tension rise to an alarming level between them. "What do you want from me, Seras?"
His voice raised, and his form seemed to grow right in front of her as he leaned down, his face so close to hers. There was a heat radiating from his body that he knew she could feel, his aura enveloping them both in its hateful energy, his anger rising to the top. He was trying so desperately to contain it, but her stubbornness was making it incredibly difficult.
But she didn't back down.
He watched as his Draculina stood tall, pressing herself back against him with her lips sneering at him with a defiant purpose. She wasn't afraid of him, not now, not when her own anger was seething from her pores.
In retrospect, he felt himself swell with pride. She was no longer a terrified little girl, no, instead she was fighting back. She was claiming herself and allowing that privilege to no one else. There was a beauty in the way she was finding herself, and the most beautiful thing about it was that she'd done it without him.
Without him, she'd found the piece of herself that bowed to no one, whether she'd realized it or not. She was looking her one true fear in life directly in the face and she didn't wilt like a flower in the cold like she once used to – she blossomed.
"All I have wanted was to be your equal, Alucard," she spat at him, her breath tickling his lips as she spoke, her nearness enough to drive him to insanity with want. "You told me I'd be your Queen, but how is that possible when I can't even defend myself from you?"
Alucard stopped.
Everything he felt, all the emotion that was threatening to consume him simply stopped simmering, and he felt calm. Like a realization had struck him in the face. He stared down at her, his face showing shock, his body stilled into silence.
This... was all about a power struggle?
He stepped away from her, gazing at the fierce little Draculina before him, a weariness taking hold of him. How could he have been so blind, so stupid? Of course she'd left him. There was no wonder to that anymore.
He'd said to her that she would be his Queen, his eternal mate, and yet he hadn't seen past her fragility to seek that from her. He'd stripped her of her humanity, he had given her power, and yet it wasn't enough. She was still a fledgling, she was still weak, and she was never equal to him, not once. His power was unmatched by anything else, and he'd promised her she would taste that.
But all along, all he had done, was abuse that promise to her. He'd never once acted upon it, he'd looked past her internal struggle for some sort of defense against him and had sought to destroy her. The pain he gave her, the sex, it was all for his own benefit, and she had dreamed that one day, they would be equal. But they never were.
He'd promised her a life of power and beauty, and she had dreamed of the day it would come to be a reality. She'd wished for it so dearly, but he never once gave her that opportunity. Never even thought to.
And whilst he was battling with his thoughts, seeking some sort of clarity from the jumbled mess of answers and questions, Seras was still raging with an unholy force. She stepped towards him and pushed at him, forcing him to step back, and again and again until his back was against a wall and he was pulled from his mind into the reality that was before him.
"Are you even listening to me?" she asked, and her voice was shrill with desperate panic and anger, her exterior teetering on hysteria. She slammed her hands into his chest once again, and though it didn't hurt at all, he felt the impact of her emotion. "Are you?"
Just as she was about to hit at him again, Alucard's hands rose to grab her wrists before her palms made contact with his chest. His fingers closed tightly around her wrists – not enough to hurt her, but enough to catch her attention – and he pulled her a step closer, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity that didn't hold anger or annoyance.
She stumbled to a halt, a fleeting expression of shock running across her features before her mask of anger slipped back into place with a seamless finish. "Let go," she demanded, attempting to yank her hands free of his, but to no avail. "I'm serious, fucking let me go!"
He simply squeezed her wrists in his grip, a warning for her to stop struggling. She flinched, but her incessant squirming didn't persist. She glowered up at him, unwilling to be this close to him. He repulsed her, and she wasn't afraid to let him know it. She was so wonderful, and he quite liked this side of her, but that was simply a thought that didn't make it to his lips.
"Seras, of course I'm listening to you," Alucard said quietly, his voice above a whisper, yet deep and commanding for her attention. "And I am sorry. Whether you want to accept that or not, it is true."
"For what?" she snapped back, her teeth bared in a vicious sneer. "There's a million things you should be sorry for. Pick one."
"For never giving you the one thing I had promised to," he said, and he pulled her closer, releasing her wrists and instead wrapping his arms around her, holding her trembling body to his. She immediately began to squirm, wriggling against him like a fish out of water, her body a vibrating entity of hatred.
"It's too late for that now, you lunatic," she hissed, kicking at him, fighting him away from her.
But he held on. He didn't hold her in a crushing grip, in an embrace that promised lust and pain, but in a careful one, one of love and peace and it felt so uncomfortably foreign to him but so pleasant all at once and he wanted nothing else in the world in that moment.
Seconds ticked by into minutes, and Seras' struggling and fighting and demands to be released stopped, but he knew she was not quite calm yet. Alucard knew it wasn't right to hold her there, but every emotion he had felt since he'd met her, rage and all intact, it came to wash over him now in storm-like waves of pressure, making him feel everything and more.
"It's not too late, my Draculina," he said, finally saying what he should have said so many weeks ago. "The power you seek, I can still give that to you."
Seras wrestled herself from his grip, but only pulled back so she could look directly into his face, and he waited patiently while those blue orbs searched every feature, desperately seeking a lie or some sort of indication that he wasn't being completely honest with her. He gazed down at her while she evaluated him, admiring the fierce glow in her eyes, the small, tight lines of her lips.
"How?" she asked, but it was a guarded question, and her tone was oh-so weary.
He couldn't possibly blame her for that. She had more right than anyone to be cautious of what he said, for the simple fact that he had done nothing but wrong by her. But now was the time when he'd set things right; he would show her the life he had promised.
"All along, you have refused to drink the blood of a human that would grant you that power," he told her, keeping his eyes trained on hers, watching for every shift of emotion, "but what if I offered you an alternate way to gain that?"
"I asked how. That means I'm interested in knowing," she said, her eyebrows furrowed into an expression of annoyance. "Just tell me."
Alucard couldn't help the chuckle that left his lips. Always the impatient little thing.
"For all the times I've bitten you and taken what I wanted, I'm giving you the chance to exact revenge. My blood will give you that little taste of power, and while it will not last very long, you'll have a glance into the life you could live. The life I promised to you."
Seras felt as every cell in her blood turned to ice. Her eyes widened and she was fairly certain her jaw had dropped open, her skin taking on a ghastly chill. She momentarily forgot the anger, the bitterness, the hatred, and was stunned into something that resembled happiness. Joy, almost.
But is that what you truly want?
The reason she hadn't drank human blood was simply because she felt as though she might lose a bit of herself. To taste the elixir of life she needed to survive, it would mean truly giving herself to the beast she knew that lurked within her veins. The humanness in her, it would be lost forever, and though she knew she would try to hold onto it, years would pass, and it would slip from her grasp. She'd become the thing of rage and violence her Master was, the thing she was so desperately afraid to be.
Was she ready to give that up for the chance of a life absent of fear and despair with her beloved Master?
"Will I... will I transform for good?" she asked, her voice slightly shaken.
Alucard bent forward slightly, the tip of his aristocratic nose brushing lightly against hers, a look of determination set in his jaw, flames of reassurance in his eyes. "No. My blood will simply give you a boost of power, it will not last. If you drink before it expires, you will change – if not, you'll revert back to how you are now."
Seras' eyes widened and she felt as her heart skip a beat.
"But be aware that you may not be the same. Your thirst for blood will only grow stronger, the vampire within you will scream for its hunger to be sated. You will be as you are now, but your resistance against human blood will grow weaker and weaker until finally, it diminishes."
She felt as her world came crashing down around her, and his words struck a chord inside of her, making her heart sing a tune of sorrow and longing. He wanted her to do this; he'd wanted her to complete her transformation into a true vampire from day one. Yet now, he was warning her of what might happen. He wanted her to, but at the same time... he didn't.
"And what will you think of me if I choose not to?" Seras asked, her eyes glancing towards the stone floor beneath their feet.
She felt the pulse of surprise run through his aura, its unsure wave causing gooseflesh to rise all over her exposed skin. She couldn't look at him, because some part of her knew what he was thinking. He was thinking why on earth would she care to ask him? In all she'd said and felt previous to this moment, he probably couldn't fathom why she'd be concerned with his opinion at all.
And truth be told, she wasn't sure why she cared, either. She still loved him, and there was that ever-present pull to him, and that side of her sought constant validation from him. But she shouldn't care what he thought, she shouldn't ever bother to concern herself with his personal wants ever again.
But she did. She cared. And she didn't know if she could ever change that.
"Seras, it's really none of my business what you choose," he said, his hand coming to her chin and tilting her head up, their gazes locking once again, and the love and care and grief exploded between them. "You may choose what you want. If you should choose to try this with me, I'll show you a world different to the one you thought you knew. If you choose not to, I will leave you, and if you should request to never have sight nor sound of me again, I will respect that. That much I owe to you."
She was startled by his statement, and to say otherwise would have been a lie. He was serious. Alucard was seeking the betterment of her, and perhaps it was for his own benefit, but at that moment she didn't care, because she was priority. It was her decision.
And for everything inside of her that fought against it, her desperation to be with him, to love him, to obey him, it decided for her.
"Then I choose yes," she said, and she flung herself into his arms. Her instincts screamed at her to run, to fight, to do anything else but love the beast that had abused her beyond repair, but she ignored them, her heart swelling with the thought of even a moment where she would for once be equal with her Master. Just once. "I... want to be the vampire you intended me to be."
Alucard's back was slammed against the wall behind him once again as his fledgling flew like a little bird into his arms, her grip on him tight with anticipation, fear, and love. She held to him for dear life, and he couldn't help but wrap her tight against him.
The bitter darkness that had followed him since that first night was lost to the golden taste of sweetness Seras was, and for once, he felt... better. Joyful, almost.
"Alright, little vampire," she said, and gently pushed her shoulders back, causing her to step away from him for just a moment. He raised his hands to his collar, and began to undo the buttons, exposing his alabaster pale flesh to her, his slender throat catching the moonlight that flooded the room, demanding Seras' eyes be drawn to it.
And he could have laughed despite the seriousness and intensity of the moment they were sharing, because her expression matched that of a child in a sweet shop. Her eyes were wide and hungry, her rosy, plump lips parted and moist. He heard the change in her pulse, its pace speeding now in her veins, her heart giving away her excitement.
The Draculina was waking, it was looking to its Master for guidance, and it was hungry. She was accepting this change much easily than he had thought she would, and so quickly, too.
"Are you ready?" he asked, his deep voice drawing her towards him.
Seras nodded her head, feeling as her body moved towards her Master on its own, her mouth watering at the sight of his neck. There was that painful thirst in her chest, its presence growing hotter with every second that passed, and she knew what she had to do.
She knew she should have felt somewhat repulsed by herself; though Alucard was by no means human, that was still the flesh of his body, and the blood that ran beneath was the blood of a living thing. Though she'd often debated with herself if they were truly alive, she had no doubts of it now, and she knew it was wrong, it was perverted, but she couldn't help the need that took over her sense of self at the sight of his bare throat.
"What's going to happen to me?" she asked, and her voice sounded otherworldly, as though she were a million miles away from it.
Alucard's hands came to wrap themselves around her waist, and she could barely feel it as her hands slithered up his torso, her fingers interlocking behind his neck. She was so close now, standing on her tiptoes. The scent of him wafted into her nose, and she inhaled delicately, smelling him, smelling the metallic red that flowed beneath his skin.
"You'll see the world through my eyes, and you will feel how I feel," he said, and a hand came to tangle themselves in her glossy locks, a comforting gesture as he guided her to him, holding her close, supporting her body.
And so she leaned in, not really registering what he'd said, and her tongue flicked out to grace the slight saltiness of his flesh. A moment passed, her breath hot against the wet patch, before she lay her lips against him, and bared her teeth. Her pointed canines pressed into his skin, and she put some force into her jaw, and finally, she felt as her teeth sank into him, puncturing her Master's flesh.
Oh, God, please help me.
His blood hit her tongue, and something inside of Seras snapped.
The taste of it was hot and dark, a sweetness laying beneath the black, pure power. The flow was fast, and her mouth was filled with his lifeblood almost instantly, forcing her to swallow it, and something inside of her screamed but it was drowned out as his blood flowed through her, smothering the thirst that ached in her chest.
And that's when it hit her.
The liquid inside of her suddenly caught fire, blazing against every slumbering nerve within her, and she felt alive. Her stomach was a pit of lava, and as she continued to drink, her throat was scorched as every mouthful she took gave life to her, as though she'd been dying and it was so renewing, the power seeping into every artery, every vein, every muscle.
"Seras, that's enough," said her Master, but his voice was distorted, as though she was far away in a distant place, and he was speaking to her through on old radio. "Stop."
But she didn't.
Though she was calm and in a delicious state of delirium, there was a rage filling her with the blood she took from him. She felt its overwhelming presence, its hateful energy pouring into her with every drop she sucked from him, and instead of obeying him, she simply bit down harder, feeling her teeth rip into his throat deeper, her jaw tight like a coiled spring.
I will take what is mine.
The thought wasn't her own, or at least she didn't think so, but too quickly she was giving in to the anger dwelling inside of her, allowing it to consume her, to race through her body. She was taking the power he had taken from her, and she wasn't about to let it slip away from her so easily. His blood was fueling her, it was giving the life he'd ripped from her so carelessly back to her, and she was furious he wanted her to stop.
"I said stop," said Alucard again, his voice barely containing the fury she knew he felt, and his hand tightened in her hair, and that's when she knew she wasn't... herself.
The hands wrapped around his neck sought out his hair, and she twined her fingers through his raven-dark locks, and she gave a vicious pull. She barely heard the grunt from the No-Life King she fed from, but the skin of his throat pulled and thinned, and she knew she was holding his head back like he'd done to her so many times. She was feeding – how dare he try to interrupt her.
Alucard was stunned into a state of paralysis, absorbing what had just happened.
She was gaining power rapidly, and already, she was exerting it. All the torment, all the pain, all the anger and sadness, his blood was giving it life, bringing it to the surface. She was taking back the revenge she'd sought after for so long, and he felt a real state of panic begin to start its dreadful course within him.
And yet, something about it... something inside of him loved it. The power struggle of it.
Yes, of course he loved the submissive willingness of her, but now she would fight against him, and it wouldn't be a weak, pathetic attempt – now she stood a real chance at defending herself from him, and already she was lustfully chasing after that conflict.
But he could feel as she dragged the blood from his veins, and though it was so pleasurable, he knew he couldn't afford for her to drain him dry.
Alucard reached for her arms, and grabbed at her inner elbows, taking them forcefully in his large hands. He pressed his thumb into her flesh, striking the reflexes that made her withdraw her hands from his hair. Immediately, his hands released her and his arms went around her waist, and he picked his darling, vicious Draculina up, clearing her feet from the ground.
She growled against him, but her teeth stayed firmly put, and there was no way he'd be able to remove them, not without ripping his throat out.
"Seras, you will stop feeding, or I will make you stop."
He felt as she stirred, but it wasn't how he thought she would.
Seras' legs instead came up to wrap around him, the flesh of her soft thighs pressing against his hips, and she held herself there, her legs tight around him, her arms slithering around his neck once again.
Alucard was suddenly losing himself to the feeling of her body, and he almost hated himself for it.
He could feel her breasts against him, the soft way they melded against his hard chest, the curves of her body sliding into place with his, and he could feel the heat of her crotch against his, and before he could stop it, his member began to twitch and pulse, its size growing rapidly within the confines of his clothes. It wasn't long before he was straining against the pants he wore, his cock panting to stretch Seras open over and over.
And the little Draculina feasting on him knew it.
Instead of her drawing back and reacting like a frightened child the way she once would have, he felt as her hips began to grind against him. Her movements were delicate at first, her hips almost taunting him, the way her voluptuous thighs gave and released as she swayed her hot womanhood against him.
He was enticed by her, the pleasure he felt radiating from her soft mouth as she suckled at him.
"Seras, stop." He knew he'd lose himself to her, and she was provoking that. She knew she was. This was no longer commanding she stopped drinking, this was stopping what it would cause. Ceasing what would push him over the edge.
Seras could feel her Master's member beginning to writhe against her, desperately seeking any of her wet, warm holes to bury itself in, and the thought of it alone excited her. She could feel the strain of his body as his muscles clenched, as though he was trying to hold himself back from her, as though he was trying to fight away the urges.
Don't do this.
There was that tiny voice of reason in her head, the part of her that was still human, trying desperately to stay afloat the sea of bloodlust and sex raging inside of Seras, and she hated it. She wanted this. She felt powerful. She felt like a Goddess.
And for once, she wasn't afraid of this man. She wanted everything she knew he was.
Because now she knew she could give it right back.
She finally released him from her hold in his neck; she pulled her teeth from the savage wounds she'd created, and pressed her tongue against it, lapping up the drizzle of red that leaked. Her lips came to kiss the bruising wound, and she let her lips trail down his skin, leaving gooseflesh in their wake. She pulled back to see a trail of blood, and she then glanced up at her Master, seeing an unholy look of pure need in his eyes.
"You're going to regret that," he said, and his tone was dark and terrible.
But she didn't feel the need to recoil in fear. Of course it struck a nerve of panic within her, but she didn't feel afraid. Instead, she felt... playful. Like she was willing to goad him into doing something about it, like she wanted him to punish her for it.
Then again, if he did, she'd make sure he knew she wanted him to. This wasn't going to be about what Alucard wanted anymore, no. This was her choice, too, and she'd take what she wanted. And she wouldn't care to look back.
"Make me," she whispered, her lashes fluttering at him.
This isn't you. You'd never say that. Snap out of it!
She so wanted to rip that voice from her head. She knew it was right, some part of her knew it wasn't her speaking, but that didn't matter. It was her, in some way she didn't know. This side of her, this was inside of her, and it was getting its time. This was the vampire within her, and she wanted to experience it for what it was, and for once, not care about fear or anger or hatred.
She wanted to feel nothing but the pleasure Alucard had felt all along. And she was going to make sure she got it.
"Is that a challenge, Seras Victoria?" Alucard asked, and it was so sinister and so arousing that she couldn't help but smile and nod slowly at him. She leaned in as though to kiss him, but her teeth clamped down on his lower lip and she sucked on it, her tongue running over the trapped flesh. She heard the groan in his chest before it sounded from the back of his throat, and a shiver of pleasure ran through her.
The moment of movement was a blur, and the next thing Seras knew, she was on her back on the wide, luxurious bed, the silken sheets crinkling beneath her.
She glanced up, looking in awe at the man standing before her, his beauty almost painful to witness. He looked breathless and aroused, and furious and ravenous, and a tingle of heat ran through her because she knew it was because of her.
Alucard stared down at the girl beneath him, and he studied her for a moment, admiring the look of her before she bore any of his marks.
Her body was languidly exposed to him, every curve and hollow begging to be touched by him, every inch of her deliciously thick, soft thighs screaming for his mouth to bite and kiss at them, her entire form needing to be felt and marked. His eyes fell upon her face, and as soon as their eyes locked, the holes in his throat began to pulse just as intensely as his hard, thickened shaft.
Her bloodred eyes spoke to him when her mouth didn't need to, their depths beckoning to come closer, to feel her, and there was no fear there. There was nothing but pure wanton lust from her, and he couldn't fight himself. He couldn't.
Without a word, he reached for her skirt, and ripped it off of her, his aggression tearing the delicate fabric away from her luscious body. She squealed in delight but he promptly ignored it, his hunger for the taste of nirvana between her thighs drowning out any other sense. He hooked his fingers beneath the white panties she wore, and he dragged them in one smooth motion from her, immediately greeted by the delicious scent of her aroused cunt.
He glanced at her face as he bent towards her, his hands resting on the insides of her knees. He watched as she bit her lip, a smile lurking beneath blood upon her pale, beautiful flesh. Without any force, she opened her legs for him, splitting her thighs and revealing the beauty between them.
"I think I like this side of you," he said, his face stretching into a wicked smile before he bent forward and tore his fangs into the soft flesh of her inner thigh, right next to her pulsing little fuckhole.
A gasping scream of pleasure erupted from his Draculina, and he held her other leg in his firm grip as her entire body arched from the mattress she lay so gracefully upon, her legs twitching in response. She began to writhe as he fed from her, his teeth burying themselves as deep as they possibly could into her fleshy thigh.
Her blood was oh-so different now, its sweetness merging with the dark, enticing flavour of power, and it blossomed against his tongue. He grunted in approval, and listened to the mewls of pleasure leaving her lips, feeling as her body tensed and released around him, her legs twitching wildly beneath his sensual bite.
He pulled his mouth from her, a chuckle leaving his lips before he licked the bite, a grin of pure sadistic elation painted across his mouth.
Alucard then turned his attention to her throbbing cunt, its pink folds glistening with her anticipation, quivering ever so slightly. He pressed a finger into the folds, gently rubbing against her, his finger barely grazing her little clit, causing her body to jolt and arch, a frustrated growl leaving his Draculina's lips.
Something inside of him snarled back, unwilling to allow her to have control of him and his actions. Oh, how he wanted to pleasure her to no end, but he would do it his way, and he'd do it when he so pleased. She would not dictate it. Not at all.
He then placed his hands behind her knees, and viciously shoved her legs towards her head.
Alucard barely heard the startled sound that left her lips as he did so, and he forced her knees up to her chin, spreading her legs just wide enough so that he could get to her dripping pussy. He wasted no time then in tasting her, allowing her to feel every inch of his tongue as he gave her slit one hard, long lick, his tongue exploring between her pink folds.
She tasted so sweet, and he lapped up her delicious nectar, his tongue then setting a slow and torturous pace, its silken surface gliding against her, over and over, making her feel as he explored her. He found her slightly swollen clit then, and lazily brushed against it, listening for the increase in the little Draculina's breathing, feeling as her cunt pulsed and throbbed and practically begged to be filled with him.
But not yet. He would enjoy this sensual torture.
Seras grasped at her knees, and held them where her Master had forced them, getting lost within the pleasure she felt radiate through her entire body. His tongue found and caressed each and every individual nerve of her pussy, and it was sending these tickles of pure, unfiltered ecstasy through her, making her feel as though she was losing all inhibitions.
He knew just where to bury that tongue of his, how to flick it against her, how to get her to moan for him, and it was so wonderful and yet it wasn't enough.
She was so turned on by him, her skin feeling as though it was made of wildfire and gold, her flesh coated in a thin film of glistening sweat already.
Her body twitched and jerked beneath his bewitching assault, her mind silenced among the moans leaving her lips constantly, the little cries of pleasure coming so naturally as he wrapped his tongue around her clit, sucking forcefully on it before taking his tongue and pressing it against her swollen bud. She was panting heavily as he continued it, where seconds melted into minutes, and minutes into what felt like years.
It was too much, and yet it wasn't enough, and she couldn't find the voice to demand anything else.
Alucard could feel as she became agitated with the need for something more than this, and yet he knew she was on the verge of climaxing though she probably didn't know herself. The blood singing in her veins enlightened her nerves and flesh, overwhelming her senses to the point where they were very nearly numb due to the sensitivity of every part of her, but they were like live wires beneath her skin.
"Always so dramatic," he murmured against her pulsing hole, before he took a hand to her. He pushed two of his long, slender fingers into her, feeling some slight resistance from her tight cunt before it relaxed and allowed him entry.
As soon as they had, her hips heaved against him, bucking wildly in response to the pleasure. She cried out, and he glanced up to watch as she dug her sharpened fingernails into her own flesh, piercing it beneath her claws.
A mewl of pain left her lips, but he was almost amazed as he watched her grip only tighten, her blood flaring against the pale beauty of her thighs as it began to dribble from the wounds.
Instead of remarking upon it, Alucard began to fuck her tight hole with his fingers before returning his tongue to its place on her swollen clit, and he could feel as her pussy clenched around his fingers. Not so quick, he thought, his tongue beginning to flick mercilessly against her, his fingers pushing into her with force.
"Alucard!" she cried, and a scream followed as he made his vampire cum.
Seras' entire body seized around her Master's fingers, her pussy clenching him inside of her as her back arched up off of the mattress, her mouth open in a cry of raw pleasure. She felt her eyes roll back in her head, and she couldn't help the shivers that caused her hips to roll against him, riding out the waves of her orgasm.
A breath left her lungs, and suddenly she felt... she felt as though there were nothing else in the world she'd rather be doing.
"Master, I... Oh, God."
Alucard chuckled, and the sound alone was enough to bring her out of the paralysis the orgasm caused, and want to have him do that to her all over again. There was nothing quite like that experience, it was elating and exciting and so darkly delicious.
"We're not finished yet, little vampire."
-oOo-
I was actually going to make this so much longer, but I feel as though there needed to be a little wait for what's going to come. (WINKWINK. Hint: it's Alucard. And Seras. Obviously.)
Yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and liked the direction it went it. As always, I'd appreciate any feedback you'd like to leave, as it warms my heart. It really does!
And of course, the next update will be soon. It's gonna take time to perfect, but I'm aching to write it. Thanks for reading, guys! 'Til next time! P.S, I'm so sorry for any spelling or grammar errors. I'll re-edit it tomorrow, because I'm exhausted right now. Forgive me pls. Love and kisses!
