The guns fired, and the bullets came at Alan in slow motion…or was it because something was holding them back? He glanced over Hopper's shoulders to see Yoda mentally holding the ammunition in midair. "Harm the innocents you will not!" the creature grunted defiantly.

"Oh really?" Bitterman snorted, "Well, let's see just how much your magic tricks can handle. Full salvoes, everyone!"

All of the bad guys fired at once and repeatedly, leaving several dozen projectiles now suspended in midair. Yoda strained harder to hold them all back…

"Excuse me," someone tapped McMooch on the shoulder just before he could fire off his bazooka for what might have been the final, fatal time. Before McMooch had even turned around, Cantus had picked him up and pile-driven him into the ground. The Minstrel then flipped through the air to the incredulousness of all watching and landed right on the Weasel's shoulders. The Weasel grabbed a lead pipe conveniently lying nearby and swung at Cantus, but managed only to smack himself in the face. Cantus leaped off and started delivering combination blows to his foe's chest that sent him reeling to the ground. He then ducked as the Lizard charged at him with a knife, then grabbed the reptile by the tail and swung him around over his head like a shot put. He let go, and the Lizard slammed hard into the side of the farmhouse. Hardly winded at all, Cantus turned to the rest of his group, whose mouths were all hanging open in shock. "Please forgive me," he told them, "They made me lose my implacable calm."

"And now it's time I lost mine: HIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYAAAAAAAA!' with a look of carnal rage plastered on her face, Piggy lunged forward. In quick fashion she karate-chopped both Sledge and Stiles senseless. "HIIIIIIIIITAAAAAAAAAEEE!" she roared, delivering a severe blow to Larry as he lunged forward with his hands in a strangling position. She followed it up with a kick to his face that sent him sprawling. "Hit my hand," she told Bo as he charged forward, holding it out for his benefit. Bo stupidly complied and received a hard blow to the skull as Piggy's hand rebounded around onto his head. She then jumped on top of him and started biting his arm. "HEEELLPP!" the crook screamed.

"Offa him!" Chuck grabbed Piggy's hair and yanked her off Bo. Piggy turned very slowly toward him. If there's one thing I hate it's people who MESS WITH THE PERM!" she bellowed, "HIIIIIIIIIIIYAAAAA!"

Chuck became the latest victim of her karate chopping. Roaring, he swung his claws at her, but was forced to retreat as Piggy picked up the Snake and used it as a whip against Chuck, who finally keeled over with a stunned look on his face. "Gimme some aspirin while you're out, Chuck," moaned the thoroughly dazed Snake, "I've got a whopper of a headache just now."

Piggy flung the Snake at the Pop-Eyed Catfish's glass, sending the latter flying into the snow. The pig then started giving the fish more karate chops with loud shrieks of rage. Perhaps mercifully for the villains, it was at this point that the roar of police sirens filled the night air. No few than four dozen cruisers pulled up onto the front yard. "Everyone freeze!" several officers shouted at once as they ran forward, weapons drawn. "Thank God, we got the phone lines up," Scooter breathed.

"What phone lines?" remarked the lead sergeant, "We got a disturbing the peace call from the neighbors. What's been going on here?"

"Oh thank God you're here, officers," Bitterman tried to sweet-talk to them, "They were just about to kill us before you got…"

"Arrest us, please!" Bo threw himself into the sergeant's arms, "I confess, we stole the Baseball Diamond; she's got it in her coat pocket. Take us away! I love jail, I've never loved it more!"

"Shut up Bo!" Larry bellowed, kicking his partner, "Ever heard of the right to remain silent!?"

"Don't move, Hopper!" one of the officers shouted, holding his firearm on the restaurateur as he tried to sneak away in the confusion. "Max?" Hopper gasped at the sight of him, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I decided I needed to redeem myself for some mistakes I made," Max had a more than satisfied look on his face as he pulled Hopper's hands behind his back and handcuffed him, "You're under arrest, Doc."

"Max, how could you do this to me!?" Hopper whined, "After everything I did for you!?"

"Take this slime downtown," Max hauled his former boss to several more officers standing by a cruiser. He approached the Muppets against the farmhouse. "Are any of you guys hurt?" he asked.

There was a clatter as all the bullets Yoda had been holding in midair clattered to the ground. The Jedi Master took several deep breaths to regain his composure. "Not at all, thankfully," he breathed, "Only they who perpetrated this are. Should have known they that those who try to hurt others only themselves hurt."

"Take your hands off me, you fool, I'm worth a billion dollars!" Bitterman was screaming at the officer arresting her. "This is not over yet, frog!" she shouted at Kermit as she was dragged away, "I'll get even with each and every one of you for this!"

"Ah, why bother?" the Weasel asked, "It's all over; we're going to get buried for this!"

"Well remember, if this makes the papers, we're the Dry Bandits, got it?" Bo asked the cops, "D-R-I-E…."

"SHUT UP, BO!" everyone around him kicked him as they were all loaded into a cruiser. "Well, good riddance to bad rubbish, I say," Emily commented as their foes were towed off into the night.

"Indeed," Kermit nodded. He trudged through the snowdrifts toward the Reisers. "I appreciate what you said a moment ago," he told them, "That really does mean a lot to me and all of us."

"Well I know now it's true," Alan told the frog, "We are wealthier than those creeps are. And you've given us all more tonight than we could have ever hoped for."

Before the conversation could go any further, the snow began falling harder than ever. "Whoa boy," the sergeant exclaimed, "Here comes that last wave. They said this would be the worst batch of the storm. We'd best get out of here while we can."

"Uh Sarge?" Max took out his gun and handed it to the sergeant, "Actually I'd like to stay here with these people. I know them from several years back, and I feel I owe them something. That is, if it's OK with them," he gave the Muppets a hopeful look.

"Sure it's OK, but so you know you'll probably have to sleep hanging on a coat hook inside the basement door, since we're out of room again," Emily informed him. Max thought it over and shrugged. "Well, it's better than having stale fruitcake with my mother-in-law," he reasoned.

"Well then, why are we standing out here in this blizzard?" Kermit reasoned, "We've still got a house to clean up and songs to sing, so let's make our formal statements to the police and finish celebrating the evening."


A half hour later, as the storm now raged harder than ever, the house had been cleaned up miraculously to where it was almost as it had been before the home invasion had begun, right down to the spare front door that had somehow been available in the basement for them to set up. A brand new Christmas tree pushed down by Earl now stood in the corner with its lights glowing bright in the darkness of the den. Seemingly hundreds of special guests were now packed inside, all now listening to Susan singing on stage with several of the children. "Children carry through the street a brightly-painted star," she was singing, "Angels gather 'round the hearth strumming on guitars. Men of great renown and faith sing prayers on boulevards. It's the night before Christmas…"

"But you don't have to be an angel to sing harmony," the children joined her for the next verse, "And you don't have to be a child to love the mystery. And you don't have to be a wise man on bended knee. The heart of this Christmas is in you and me."

"Well Charlene, now are you glad you came?" Fran asked her daughter on the couch.

"I guess so, Mom," Charlene shrugged, "I still wish it was a lot warmer than this, but…"

"But we still had to hear about it just one more time," Robbie rolled his eyes, "It's a shame Mr. Hess had to sleep through it all."

He gestured at Roy, still snoring away soundly all these hours later. "YAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!" Scred popped up and screamed in the dinosaur's ear. Roy remained sound asleep. "Incredible," the alien mused, "What was the point of even bringing him here? Oh well, it's his problem if he misses out on the fun."

"And this is a nice change from the monotony of space," Ploobis agreed, "For once I'm enjoying something."

"Enjoying it as much as your time with Vazh in the broom closet during the hyperspace where you were rolling around on the floor and…?" Scred abruptly blurted out.

"SCRED!" Ploobis glared at his vassal, "It's time you saw a phrenologist!"

"Phrenologist, your majesty?"

"The people who measure the bumps on your head!"

"But I don't have any bumps on my head, your highness," Scred pointed out. Ploobis seized the piñata bat and beat Scred over the head with it. "You do now!" he snarled.

While Scred howled in misery, there was wide applause as the song ended. "Thank you," Susan made a courteous bow, "But that's not all. Gordon's got his own song for you all."

Gordon approached Rowlf's piano as the dog started playing the song. "'Come,' they told me, pa-rum-bum-bum-bum," the human and dog sang together, "Our newborn king to see, pa-rum-bum-bum-bum. Our finest gifts we bring, pa-rum-bum-bum-bum. To set before the king, pa-rum-bum-bum-bum, rum-bum-bum-bum, rum-bum-bum-bum. So to honor him, pa-rum-bum-bum-bum. When we come."

"Peace on Earth," Gordon sang in a deep tenor while Rowlf continued with the regular Little Drummer Boy lyrics, "Can it be? Years from now, perhaps we'll see. See the day of glory, see the day when men of goodwill live in peace, live in peace again. Peace on Earth; can it be?"

"Every child must be made aware," the two of them sang together again, "Every child must be made to care. Care enough for his fellow man. To give all the love that he can."

"I pray my wish will come true," Gordon took the solo again, "For my child, and your child too. We'll see the day of glory. See the day when men of goodwill live in peace live in peace again. Peace on Earth; can it be?" Rowlf played out the final few notes, then chimed in with Gordon on the final, "Can it be?"

"You know, this is really incongruous," Waldorf asided to Statler, "Singing these innocent songs after having smashed the bad guys up."

"Well, there is one piece of good news with all this," Statler said.

"You just saved a ton on your car insurance by switching to Geico?" Waldorf inquired.

"No, the story's almost over," Statler told him.

Harvey was the next to take the stand. "And now folks, for your pleasure, the song that made us the biggest hit to ever play the Riverside Rest," he announced, "Mrs. Otter?"

Alice took center stage. "We're closer now than ever before," she sang.

"How much alike we are; we may be long-lost brothers," her son and his band added on backup.

"There's love in our world and we're showing it more," Alice put a warm arm around Emmett as he sang "We even think the same; you know there may be others." "Our world says, 'Welcome Stranger;' everybody's a friend," she started the refrain, book ended by "Everyone could use a friend." "Favorite stories don't end in our world."

In his armchair, Doc Bullfrog rocked back and forth in rhythm with the music. "Hiring them was the best choice I ever made," he told his nephew and grandnephew.

"Yep, from then on, Christmas has been a little merrier on the river," Kermit said, "There, now I've said it again just in case future generations don't know." He joined everyone else in the room (as well as the large monsters and penguins and forest animals still visible singing with them outside the window despite the brutally blowing snow) with the final verse: "When night looks sad upon you, go and watch a perfect sunrise. Love can open your eyes in our world."

"Me next again, me, me!" Piggy eagerly jumped up on stage.

"Oh not again!" Floyd Pepper groaned.

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Piggy glared at him. She took hold of the microphone again. "Greeting cards have all been sent, the Christmas rush is through," she crooned, "But I still have a wish to make, a special one for you. Merry Christmas darling. We're apart, that's true. But I can dream, and in my dreams I'm Christmasing with you. Holidays are joyful, there's always something new. But every day's a holiday when I'm here with you."

"The lights on my tree," Gonzo leaped up on stage and joined in, which for whatever reason Piggy did not object to, "I wish you could see, I wish it every day."

"The log on the fire fills me with desire," added Fozzie, "To see you and to say that I wish you merry Christmas…"

"Merry Christmas darling," sang everyone in the room.

"Happy New Year too," Piggy picked back up, "I've just one wish on this Christmas Eve, I wish I were with you."

She leaped down and snuggled up against Kermit, who let her. The moment, the frog felt, was simply too good to ruin. "Merry Christmas, Piggy," he told her.

"Merry Christmas Kermie," Piggy leaned toward him again with lips puckered. Kermit quickly slid away from the kiss and crawled along the floor to where the children were listening to the music now. "You really don't want her to kiss you, do you?" Zachary asked him.

"The thing is, Zack, if I let her do that, she'll be whipped into a frenzy and go a lot further," Kermit explained, "You have to be around her a long time to really understand." He waved at the stage. "I'd like to do a special one next, Hoots," he called to the owl, who flew over and dropped the microphone into his flipper. "This is a special one for you two," he told the Reisers.

"Really?" Christine was impressed.

"Really," Kermit nodded. He put both flippers around the two of them as the song began with a pipe solo from Cantus. "I don't know if you believe in Christmas," he sang, "Or if you've had presents underneath the Christmas tree. But if you believe in love, it will be more than enough for you to come and celebrate with me. For I have held the precious gift that love brings, even though I never saw a Christmas star. I know there is a light, I have felt it burn inside, and I have seen it shining from afar."

"Christmas is a time to come together," everyone in the room and outside the window sang, "A time to put all differences aside."

"And I reach out my hand," Kermit extended them to Alan behind him, "to the family of man, to share the joy I feel at Christmastime."

He glanced up at the tree in its entire splendor. "For the truth that binds us all together," he continued, "I would like to say a simple prayer. That at this special time you will have true peace of mind, and peace to last throughout the coming years."

"I don't think so, Kermit," Zachary told him, "There's just too much to worry about day-to-day."

"True, there is, but just because there probably never will be complete happiness for any of us doesn't mean we can't still dream of it when we feel bad," the frog said, "It does really help you feel better. And if you believe in love," he started singing again, "that will be more than enough for peace to last throughout the coming years."

"And peace on earth will last the coming years," everyone finished the song with him. Strong applause greeted the end of this number. "Bravo, lizard," Emily told him, "Truly the best one tonight."

"FROG!" Kermit rolled his eyes. "Well, if we're all through now…"

"Actually Kermit," Alan raised his hand behind him, "I'd like to do one before we pack up for the night."

"I thought you didn't like singing Christmas songs?" Scooter inquired.

"That was earlier," the man said, "I have a new outlook on the holidays now. And this is my way of saying thanks to you and everyone here for taking us in when we were lost—in more ways than one."

He walked up on stage. "I'd like you to play…" he started to tell Cantus.

"Say no more," Cantus started playing his magic pipe immediately. Alan was amazed how the Minstrel could have known his exact song, but that was now irrelevant. "The season is upon us now, the time for gifts and giving," he sang, "And as the year draws to a close, I think about my living. The Christmastime when I was young, the magic and the wonder, but colors dull and candles dim, and dark my standing under. Oh little angels, shining light. You've set my soul to dreaming, you've given back my joy in life; you've filled me with new meaning."

After giving Cantus another pipe solo, he continued, "A savior king was born that day, a baby just like you, and as the magi came with gifts, I come with my gifts too. That peace on earth fills up your time, that brotherhood surrounds you. That you may know the warmth of love, and wrap it all around you. It's just a wish, a dream I'm told, from days when I was young. Merry Christmas Christine and Zachary, merry Christmas everyone."

"Merry Christmas Christine and Zachary," finished everyone else, "Merry Christmas everyone." There were visible tears of joy in the children's eyes as the final notes flew from Cantus's pipe. The song received an outright standing ovation from everyone. "Very impressive," Cantus gave Alan a reassuring past on the shoulder, "As Yoda said, you are a wealthy man."

"Well, it's almost eleven now," Emily glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner, yawning, "We'd better all get to bed if we want Santa to come drop stuff off for us."

"All aboard for bed," almost right on cue, Seymour the elephant stuck his head out of the elevator door. Groups of Muppets and humans started filing toward the elevator and a nice warm bed. Outside, the forest animals and penguins could be seen retreating to the woods now that the song medley was over, and the large monsters and Snuffleupagus, who of course had been too big to get into the farmhouse, trudged toward the relative warmth of the barn. As the den emptied out of guests, the toys resumed their places under the tree, Yoda lay down on the radiator-with Cantus taking a spot up against it on the floor-and the five main Fraggles walked into a large dollhouse near the tree that they'd agreed to spend the night in (while meanwhile the scores of other Fraggles that had come up from the Rock to listen to the music earlier in the evening shuffled back down the basement stairs towards the Fraggle hole). Wembley immediately climbed out the dollhouse's window and onto the roof. "Wembley, what do you think you're doing up there?" Gobo leaned out the window after him.

"I'm going to meet this Santa firsthand," Wembley declared, "If he's everything people say he is, I think I'm going to get some good things."

"OK, if you really want to," Gobo shrugged, "But it'll be a cold one out there once the fireplace dies out."

He backed away but left the window open. Soon the room was almost completely empty except for the dogs, now joined by Rowlf, continuing their poker game. With the band packed up for the night, Johnny Fiama took the stage alone and started crooning-off-kilter—"Winter Wonderland." Alan grimaced at how bad the singer's tune was—although he had noticed Fiama had been in a closet with Scred earlier doing who knew what. "Well," he asked his children on the floor, "What do you say we turn in before Santa gets here?"

"I'm still good for a while, Daddy," Christine protested, but she was unable to suppress a loud yawn. Her father picked her and her brother up gently and carried them toward the elevator. The Otters were in the car with them as Seymour threw the Up switch. "That was mighty fine singing there, sir," Alice commended Alan, "And it was especially nice of you to dedicate it to all of us."

"Well, like I said, you and the others did so much for us today," Alan said, "I couldn't think of any other way to repay you."

"Say Ma, do you think they could get a place at the Riverside Rest with us?" Emmett asked her, "Kermit said they could use a steady job."

"Well, they could, Emmett, although I don't know how Doc Bullfrog's payroll would hold out," Alice mused, "Actually, there are other places I know that could use…"

There was a bump as the elevator lurched to an abrupt stop, sending everyone tumbling to the floor. "Whoops, forgot about that part," Seymour shrugged, "But here's your floor, anyway."

He opened the door. Everyone crawled out, cringing at the sound of inordinately loud music blaring from the bathroom. Alan opened the door to see several more penguins throwing themselves in the air and marching around the tub while "Tubthumping" blared on a large Walkman. "We get knocked down," they all were quacking, "But we get up again; they ain't never gonna keep us down..."

"Well, not everyone can be a great singer," Emmett mused over the human's shoulder, shaking his head at the penguins.

"I guess not, "Alan shrugged. Then he noticed a familiar face standing in the doorway of the room across the hall, frowning at the penguins' loud antics as well. "Oh Mr. Crystal," he called out to Doc, "I've been thinking, you don't have to pay me back if you don't really have the money."

"Really?" Doc looked amazed, "After all those letters you kept sending me about how you were broke and…"

"If you're in just as dire straits, there'd be no point in me making things worse for you," Alan told him, "And besides it's Christmas."

"Well , that's very nice of you," Doc grinned, "As a matter of fact, the next invention Sprocket and I come up with that you're interested in, just send in the receipt from the catalog and I'll give it to you free of charge."

"You really will?" Christine asked him as she and her brother came up alongside their father.

"Absolutely," Doc said, "If I had customers nearly a good as you, I wouldn't have…"

Alan grunted softly and made a soft gesturing motion with his finger. Doc took note of a package lying open partially under his bed—a package containing a red fabric with white fur trimming that was plainly visible. He clicked softly at Sprocket and made a gesturing motion with his head. Well, best get off to sleep," he said, pushing his door partially closed while Sprocket nosed the package out of sight before either of the children could notice, "I don't think we want to be awake when Santa gets here with the presents."

"You have a good night's sleep too, Mr. Crystal," Alan waved good night to him.

"Yeah, I wonder what Santa's bringing all of us?" Zachary mused as they continued down the hall to their own room.

"Oh, so now you believe in him again?" his father asked him.

"Well, now he seems a little more real, like he used to," the boy admitted, "I guess I believe in a lot of things again now."

"So do I," Alan admitted himself, "And I know that Mom's here with us even if she can't make it in person," he glanced at the window pounding against the room window, "She'll always be with us as long as we love her. I know that much now."

He pulled the Murphy bed down from the wall and helped his children up into it. "So did you have a good day all in all?" he asked them as he climbed in as well.

"Very much so," Christine yawned again, "And I thought it was going to be a terrible day, but then it turned out to be…"

Suddenly, without warning, the bed sprung back up into the wall. "Oh, this is good," Zachary remarked, "Now we can't even turn out the light."

There was a crashing sound as the light fell to the ground and shattered off. "Light's off," Alan commented, "Sleep well you two."

He hugged them close as he closed his eyes, ready to enjoy the most restful sleep he'd had in a long time.