Hello all, I am finally back with an update! (Finally being the key word here) Key reminds me of Chocolate. Kidding, it reminds me of Kingdom Hearts 2, which I have finally purchased. (Finaly being the key word here too). Is it just me, or does Seipher look better in KH2 than he does in FF8? O.O Sorry, I'll finally let you read the fic now. (You guessed it…finally is the key word here too)
A/N:- It was a close tie between Tifa and Vincent and ... Rude! But the winner was...Tifa! So, please…go on and read.
Special note:- This chapter is a special dedication to SapphireXSerpent, who wrote one of the best VinAer fics I've ever read. It's called 'Memories Should'nt be Forgotten'. So go on and read that story, review it and make her happy.
Disclaimer:- They just want to make me cry. Okay, I don't own anyone or anything to do with Final Fantasy. Great, now I'm crying.
'Thankyou ma'am, please come again'. The cashier went back to filing her nails, leaving Tifa to carry her three grocery bags all on her own. After much groaning and painstaking labour, the brunette martial artist managed to carry her bags to the lift. She got in and closed the door shut before anyone else could get it.
Tifa pressed the 'ground' button on the lift and waited for the lift to go from the 65th floor all the way down to the ground floor.
Why do I do my groceries from the Shinra company when I have a grocery right next to my bar…?
But before these mysteries of life could be answered, her mobile gave out a beeping sound. She had just received a message. After realising she had plenty of time to kill, Tifa took out her cell phone to check her messages.
You Have 15 New Messages
'Great' Tifa said, raising the phone's volume to 'full'.
Message 1
Beep
Hey Tifa…this is Tifa. Just called to check if the phone works. And no, it's not stupid to call yourself to check if your phone works. Well, catch you later Tifa! Come and stop by sometime soon, won't you? We could have lunch together. Oh, gotta go! Barret's head is stuck in his shirt again. Bye!
Beep
Message 2
Beep
Miss Lockheart, this is a random stranger named…Vinny the Pooh calling you. I would just like to inform you that…if you have chicken wings…(snickers)…do you 'fly' to work! Hah! You'd never have known it was I, Vincent Valentine crank calling you! Hah! I love my job!
Beep
Message 3
Beep
Tifa…this is Reeve. I wanted to know if Vincent is at your place. I've sent my stuffed cat after him, but I can't seem to find him anywhere. If you find him, tell him that he forgot his…er…shoe at my house and that he should come and get it. He did'nt 'really' forget it, but I just want him to drop by.
Beep
Message 4
Beep
Tifa…my sweet Tifa…this is Loz…your Romeo, for you are my Juliet. My sun. The air I breath in. Tifa…I must see your majestic and beautiful face once more…for I cannot breathe without thy prescence near me! Oh yeah, you left your extra padded bra at my place…you might wanna come and pick it up.
Beep
Message 5
Beep
Tifa, this is Yuffie. Listen up, sister! I need my materia back! And I don't care if you stuff them in your bra! They are mine and mine alone, you hear me! Mine! Well, gotta go and call Cloud to confess my undying love for him. Later!
Beep
Message 6
Beep
Hello, Miss Lockheart? This is Sandy Baxton from the…happy place. Now please call me back and tell me if you are over Cloud yet or not. Are you having fun with patient…I mean fellow member Loz? Is he good enough? You must learn to let go of Cloud. Let go….leeeet goooo! Leeeet goooo! Leee-
Beep
Message 7
Beep
(Heavy breathing)…….Tifa…..I know what you did last summer….you…..you…..YOU WERE THE ONE WHO ATE ELENA'S GUMMY BEARS! HAHAHA! This was Aeris. Just kidding, this was Rude. Yeah right. This was Reno. Seriously, this was Reno.
Beep
Message 8
Beep
Okay, listen up woman. This is Sephiroth calling you from the lifestream. I only have five minutes of calling time before my 5 quarters finish. That's why I need you to hear and understand and carry out these instructions carefully. I, Sephiroth the great, must return to this planet and take over it before Christmas. Which is why-
Beep
Message 9
Beep
Find your happy place, Seph, find your happy place. (Takes deep breaths) Okay. I need you to re-incarnate me. First, buy a cat which has one blue eye and one green eye and is a fluint in japanese. Next, name the cat Juju and then Please insert 5 quarters for the next call, thankyou.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo-
Beep
Message 10
Beep
Tifa, this is Shera. Cid told me that Vincent was staying with you for the time-being. Tifa…if it's not too much trouble, please ask Vincent to stop crank-calling me and Cid. It's really starting to get a little annoying. Thankyou!
Beep
Message 11
Beep
Hey Tifa, this is Aeris. Guess what! Someone just re-incarnated me! Is'nt that great! I just have to go and tell Cloud that I'm back. I heard he was going to propose to me! That's wonderful, is'nt it! Me and Cloud will get married and he'll love me and ssssh Laney, I'm trying to make Tifa think I'm Aeris when acctually I'm Reno and-
Beep
Message 12
Beep
Tifa…this is yer aunt… Gigi Google Granny Gumplemyer Shmidt callin. How are ya, shuga? Hows yer father? Hows yer mother? Hows that husband of yours…whats his name? Johhny. Oh yeah, Johhny. How is he? Ya have any kids? No? Okay hun, gotta go. Bye.
Beep
'But I don't have an aunt Gigi Google Granny Gumplemyer Shmidt' Tifa, still confused, went back to her mobile.
Message 13
Beep
Ahem. Miss Lockheart, this is Jerry from the museum of natural history. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you'll be receiving a fine of 2000 gil. It seems like your son…Denzel, has been messing with museum property. Apparently, he rubbed out something on the sign of 'Homo Sapien'…ma'am…he rubbed out the 'Sapien' bit and now it's only 'Homo'.
Beep
Message 14
Beep
Okay listen up Tifa. This is Shera. I want you to take that F-ing Vincent's F-ing phone and flush it down the F-ing toilet. Next, I want you to kill him and every other person with a phone in this world! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Get away from me Cid! I'm not going ta take my pills! Hah! You can't make me! Eeeeeeeeeyayayayayayaaaaaaaaaaa!
Beep
Message 15
Beep
Tifa, this is Vincento Valentino. Not Vincent Valentine. I just wanted to ask you… are you too cool for school! Hah! Funny, was it not! Muahahaha! This was Vincent, Lord of the cranks, baby! Yes! Give me some! Yes! I am so cool! I am too cool for school! I need chill pills, I'm so cool I'm going to freeze! Hah!
Beep
Tifa quickly closed her phone when the lift came to a stop on the ground floor. 'Well' she said happily to herself. 'Atleast no one got to hear any of my messages like Cloud and Reno. She walked out of the lift with a sense of pride…failing to realise that someone was watching all of this through the security camera in the lift.
'Muahahahahhahaha!' Rude laughed as he switched the security screen off. 'Now I know all of her weaknesses! Hahahahahahaha!' He started waving his hands in the air, hitting the coffee mug on his table.
'Hahahahah-owowowowowo Owie!' he screamed as the hot liquid fell on his pants. Rude will be Rude.
Well, sorry for the really long wait. I was out of ideas, which is one of the reasons this chapter is'nt so good. My apologies. R&R please! And the next chapter might be on Vincent, unless told otherwise. Bye! And also...very sorry for any grammer or spelling mistakes. I did'nt get this chapter beta-fied. (Or whatever the word is)
Okay...this is a note for all Final Fantasy X players. Go to Final Fantasy X and read my story 'Love's Labour Lost'. Then, once you read it, review it. Or else I shall stop writing this fic! Muahahaha! I've got the power! Yeah! And I'm dead serious people...atleast give that fic...I dunno...um 2 reviews? Fine fine, 15 will do. Heh heh...reviews are my life!
