Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!
AN: This is going to be my last chapter for a little while, because I'm leaving until next Friday. I'll try to work on this while I'm gone so I'll have something to post when I get back. Sorries, guyz! Thanks everyone who reviewed! Y'all are the best!
Starring Piper: Hey sweetie...I'll miss you while I'm gone! :'(:'( Ttyimh and lwyimh, though! LYLAL! PTTT!
Chapter 8
Words. Feelings. Emotions. Love. Sorrow. Grief. Heart-ache. Loss. Meaningless words when faced with the real deal. It was so Silly...thinking up these ridiculous sounds in order to convey emotion. There it was again. Empty words. Yet, even thoughts came in this form, there wasn't a way to avoid using them. It was so frustrating, so irritating.
Piper couldn't stop the erratic games her mind was playing, couldn't stop the incessant, insane ranting. Truthfully, she didn't see the point of trying to put an end to it, anyway. All she had left were her thoughts, if they were even truly hers. Could someone be considered worthy to live if that person had nothing but empty, useless, meaningless, counter-productive WORDS? No friends, not that she had ever had any in the first place. No self-worth. Matt had taken that from her. No family. They had all been ripped away, in one form or another.
Leo, driven away by her own anger and his bitterness. How could she have known, when they'd started, that he would leave her? Now, thinking about it, she damn well should have! With all of the obstacles they had faced in their relationship, how could she have believed their marriage would keep problems from popping up and ruining their almost-happy lives? She had, though, as foolish as it had been, she'd believed in happily ever after. She was a damn idiot. Of course, she could never have foreseen HOW it would end...not in the way it had unfolded, not even close.
~Flashback~
Leo orbed in, alerting Piper immediately to his presence by stalking past her. Piper glared at his back angrily, tapping him on the shoulder when she could catch up to him. Leo whirled around, staring at her coldly.
"I only came by to check that the Manor wasn't in complete chaos...I see that everything is fine," he stated, his words peppered with suppressed fury. Piper chose to ignore his tone, and instead focused on her own anger.
"Really. Nice of you, that was," she said, a fake smile plastered across her face, "I mean, after...what? Two weeks without a word from you, we might have very well been obliterated by an extremely powerful demon. Of course, that wouldn't have mattered, would it?" Leo sneered at her, his eyes narrowing hatefully.
"I cannot be wasting my time worrying about you. That is what got Selene killed! You know that, and yet you continually throw it in my face. I have a responsibility to OTHER PEOPLE, Piper. Why can't you quit focusing so much on your own damn needs, and start thinking about theirs?," Leo demanded hotly. Piper was shaking with rage.
"You are my husband, Leo. You are supposed to be here....That is what our vows meant, or didn't you know that?," Piper returned, her voice completely flat.
"I know that our 'vows' got someone killed. You and your need for me to always be here got someone killed. Now, even after you've seen what happened, you can only see our marriage, and not innocent lives. Don't you understand? This is YOUR fault in the first place! Selene was calling me, but you insisted that I had to stay, that a demon needed to be gotten rid of. She was dying while you raved about potions and my commitment, or lack there of, to our relationship. Your nagging KILLED HER, Piper. I can barely look at you, barely tolerate your selfishness...every time I come here. Don't you get it? I can't come around because of you, because every time I look at you I am reminded of what I should have done...Told you to shut the hell up and gone to save her. When I finally left, it was too late. Damnit, if you had jsut let me go...," Leo finally broke off, emotion choking off his last words.
Piper gazed at the floor, her eyes filling with tears. His words had cut her deeply, leaving her with a jagged pain that nearly robbed her of her breath. She could not meet his eyes, could not shake his words from her ears. Everything in her mind screamed at her, assuring her that he was only lashing out because he was hurting. Still, the doubt was there, and it was far-reaching. Leo stood before her, his breathing ragged, crying quietly. Finally, she looked up, her eyes reflecting a hatred Leo had never seen there before.
"Get out," she told him, her voice shaking, "Get out and don't ever come back here." Leo looked helpless. She saw him start to apologize. Silently, she shook her head. He stood there, trying to implore her forgiveness with his eyes. She narrowed hers and let rage seethe inside of her. "Get out, get out, get OUT!," she screamed, "You heartless son of a bitch, get out of my house NOW. Go!" Leo cast one last, long look in her direction before silently orbing away, leaving her to break down completely.
~End Flashback~
Leo was gone, but he wasn't the only one. He was only the beginning of a chain reaction of losses. Maybe not the beginning. Her mother first, then Grams, then Prue. Piper had thought it would stop with Prue, that maybe Prue had ended some horrible curse put on her family that had never been discovered.
Now, though. Now she knew what had been inevitable from the beginning. She had been destined to end up alone, without anyone to love her or to love. Those brief flashes of happiness seemed so far away. So many things were distant, illusions from someone else's life.
Sisters. Another of the endless string of irrelevant words. At least, it was since Piper had lost what gave substance to the expression. How did one cope with losing her entire life in one quick, clean motion? It wasn't so clean...in the wake of their deaths was pain, tears, and guilt. Piper tried to hold back the sobs building in her throat. In the end, she surrendered to them completely. She only wanted the agony to cease. She longed for the times she had had with her sisters. It didn't matter that they had taken her for granted. She had taken THEM for granted, as well. She needed them, and they were gone. Of course, it only served her right. She hadn't appreciated them the way they had deserved.
The world was empty without her sisters. She didn't feel the need to fight for her own life, not anymore. She had no one to go back to, no one to rush up to her and hug her...tell her she had been missed. She was only a smudge, a speck no one knew or cared about. Matt was the only one who wanted her around at all, and he desired her only for his own sick games.
Perhaps, she thought to herself, That is all I am useful for. Piper could hardly stand the thought, and yet it registered as truth. Inside, she felt herself wither and die. A human being's sole purpose depended on need. No one need her, no one at all.
AN: This is going to be my last chapter for a little while, because I'm leaving until next Friday. I'll try to work on this while I'm gone so I'll have something to post when I get back. Sorries, guyz! Thanks everyone who reviewed! Y'all are the best!
Starring Piper: Hey sweetie...I'll miss you while I'm gone! :'(:'( Ttyimh and lwyimh, though! LYLAL! PTTT!
Chapter 8
Words. Feelings. Emotions. Love. Sorrow. Grief. Heart-ache. Loss. Meaningless words when faced with the real deal. It was so Silly...thinking up these ridiculous sounds in order to convey emotion. There it was again. Empty words. Yet, even thoughts came in this form, there wasn't a way to avoid using them. It was so frustrating, so irritating.
Piper couldn't stop the erratic games her mind was playing, couldn't stop the incessant, insane ranting. Truthfully, she didn't see the point of trying to put an end to it, anyway. All she had left were her thoughts, if they were even truly hers. Could someone be considered worthy to live if that person had nothing but empty, useless, meaningless, counter-productive WORDS? No friends, not that she had ever had any in the first place. No self-worth. Matt had taken that from her. No family. They had all been ripped away, in one form or another.
Leo, driven away by her own anger and his bitterness. How could she have known, when they'd started, that he would leave her? Now, thinking about it, she damn well should have! With all of the obstacles they had faced in their relationship, how could she have believed their marriage would keep problems from popping up and ruining their almost-happy lives? She had, though, as foolish as it had been, she'd believed in happily ever after. She was a damn idiot. Of course, she could never have foreseen HOW it would end...not in the way it had unfolded, not even close.
~Flashback~
Leo orbed in, alerting Piper immediately to his presence by stalking past her. Piper glared at his back angrily, tapping him on the shoulder when she could catch up to him. Leo whirled around, staring at her coldly.
"I only came by to check that the Manor wasn't in complete chaos...I see that everything is fine," he stated, his words peppered with suppressed fury. Piper chose to ignore his tone, and instead focused on her own anger.
"Really. Nice of you, that was," she said, a fake smile plastered across her face, "I mean, after...what? Two weeks without a word from you, we might have very well been obliterated by an extremely powerful demon. Of course, that wouldn't have mattered, would it?" Leo sneered at her, his eyes narrowing hatefully.
"I cannot be wasting my time worrying about you. That is what got Selene killed! You know that, and yet you continually throw it in my face. I have a responsibility to OTHER PEOPLE, Piper. Why can't you quit focusing so much on your own damn needs, and start thinking about theirs?," Leo demanded hotly. Piper was shaking with rage.
"You are my husband, Leo. You are supposed to be here....That is what our vows meant, or didn't you know that?," Piper returned, her voice completely flat.
"I know that our 'vows' got someone killed. You and your need for me to always be here got someone killed. Now, even after you've seen what happened, you can only see our marriage, and not innocent lives. Don't you understand? This is YOUR fault in the first place! Selene was calling me, but you insisted that I had to stay, that a demon needed to be gotten rid of. She was dying while you raved about potions and my commitment, or lack there of, to our relationship. Your nagging KILLED HER, Piper. I can barely look at you, barely tolerate your selfishness...every time I come here. Don't you get it? I can't come around because of you, because every time I look at you I am reminded of what I should have done...Told you to shut the hell up and gone to save her. When I finally left, it was too late. Damnit, if you had jsut let me go...," Leo finally broke off, emotion choking off his last words.
Piper gazed at the floor, her eyes filling with tears. His words had cut her deeply, leaving her with a jagged pain that nearly robbed her of her breath. She could not meet his eyes, could not shake his words from her ears. Everything in her mind screamed at her, assuring her that he was only lashing out because he was hurting. Still, the doubt was there, and it was far-reaching. Leo stood before her, his breathing ragged, crying quietly. Finally, she looked up, her eyes reflecting a hatred Leo had never seen there before.
"Get out," she told him, her voice shaking, "Get out and don't ever come back here." Leo looked helpless. She saw him start to apologize. Silently, she shook her head. He stood there, trying to implore her forgiveness with his eyes. She narrowed hers and let rage seethe inside of her. "Get out, get out, get OUT!," she screamed, "You heartless son of a bitch, get out of my house NOW. Go!" Leo cast one last, long look in her direction before silently orbing away, leaving her to break down completely.
~End Flashback~
Leo was gone, but he wasn't the only one. He was only the beginning of a chain reaction of losses. Maybe not the beginning. Her mother first, then Grams, then Prue. Piper had thought it would stop with Prue, that maybe Prue had ended some horrible curse put on her family that had never been discovered.
Now, though. Now she knew what had been inevitable from the beginning. She had been destined to end up alone, without anyone to love her or to love. Those brief flashes of happiness seemed so far away. So many things were distant, illusions from someone else's life.
Sisters. Another of the endless string of irrelevant words. At least, it was since Piper had lost what gave substance to the expression. How did one cope with losing her entire life in one quick, clean motion? It wasn't so clean...in the wake of their deaths was pain, tears, and guilt. Piper tried to hold back the sobs building in her throat. In the end, she surrendered to them completely. She only wanted the agony to cease. She longed for the times she had had with her sisters. It didn't matter that they had taken her for granted. She had taken THEM for granted, as well. She needed them, and they were gone. Of course, it only served her right. She hadn't appreciated them the way they had deserved.
The world was empty without her sisters. She didn't feel the need to fight for her own life, not anymore. She had no one to go back to, no one to rush up to her and hug her...tell her she had been missed. She was only a smudge, a speck no one knew or cared about. Matt was the only one who wanted her around at all, and he desired her only for his own sick games.
Perhaps, she thought to herself, That is all I am useful for. Piper could hardly stand the thought, and yet it registered as truth. Inside, she felt herself wither and die. A human being's sole purpose depended on need. No one need her, no one at all.
