Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Charmed. I'm almost positive it's illegal to do what I'm going to do with these characters...ah well, don't sue. It's only fun and fiction!
AN: HUGE thanks to prues-clues, lulusa, Chub, line100, pippergurl, piperperson, furypiper, Starring Piper, versatile cutie, daria, Abbie Carmichael, Charmed4ever, tessalynne, Amanda, anonymous, Chelsea, line100, daria, Pipery03, and daria (lol, persistent!).
Special thanks to daria and line100 who never gave up on me. Daria, your last review finally kicked the last of writer's block away, and hopefully for good! I would also like to apologize for how long it has been. I didnt realizeWB could be SO tough to get through. Better not underestimate him next time, huh? I hope I can manage to be a LOT faster at updating from here on out, especially since I know where I am going now. I think.
Starring Piper: Well, I managed to get this out a lot sooner than I thought I would. I hope you enjoy it. I won't talk forever here, since we are prolly "talking" as you read this. I love you sweetie!! Thanks for being so wonderful!
Chapter 12
The silence was the hardest part. Once Matt left her, went off to do whatever he did, Piper was left alone to contemplate the mess she was in, had become. How she ever came to love a man she had believed she hated was, at times, revolting. Then again, sometimes she dreamed of how romantic it could have been, if the beginning weren't etched from terrible tragedy. Matt was so sweet, so gentle. His passion enthralled Piper. For hours, he kept her entertained with anecdotes from his past, Silly things he had done as a child. For hours at a time, she could pretend everything was perfect. All because of him.
After all, it wasn't Matt she hated. It was Matthew, Saint Matthew, she had privately dubbed him. He ruined the beautiful times she had with Matt, stained their would-be perfect memories with hateful words and painful beatings. The only thing she hated more than Saint Matthew was his god, the Almighty Being who had ordered Matthew to murder her family. But...As Matt said over and over again, Phoebe and Paige had never really wanted her, anyway. She shouldn't hurt so much over them, but she couldn't help it. She had taken care of them for so long, had loved them more than anything in the world.
'Stop it,' she ordered herself fiercely, 'It's been over two months. Get over it already.' Piper closed her eyes against the tears that were threateningly close, then blinked furiously. Sisters were a part of her past, a past she didn't want to revisit. A past where her husband had ended up hating her, a past where no one had truly loved her. A past without Matt.
Piper felt a twinge of guilt. She felt so ungrateful thinking about her sisters. Life was practically perfect for her. Matt had even promised that she could get rid of the restraints in one more month. Freedom! Piper smiled. Maybe he would even let her go shopping with him. She missed cooking, missed taking care of someone. Matthew was adamant about her staying in the house, but Matt... Matt understood her needs.
"What are you so happy about?"
Piper glanced up. Oh, god. He looked angry. What had she done? Frantically, Piper tried to think of something to say to ease the fury behind his cold smile. Matthew advanced, but Piper forced herself to stay in place. If she moved back, even slightly, he would lose control. She was still sore from the last time he had been upset with her. In fact, the last time he had almost had to take her to the hospital. That had shaken him, or so she thought. He would surely be more careful this time, right? Piper whimpered softly.
"My God is not pleased," Matthew hissed, "He tells me of your plan to leave me. After all I have done for you, you would be such an ungrateful bitch?"
Piper stayed silent. She was never sure if he wanted her to answer him when he was this mad. If she said something, and it was the wrong choice, he would beat her. If she kept quiet, and he wanted an answer, she had more of a chance. Matthew stopped inches in front of her, kneeling to be at eye level.
"Well?," he demanded.
"I would never lea-," Piper tried before realizing, a moment two late, his intent.
Matthew hit her hard, and immediately blood began to gush from her still-tender nose. Crying out, Piper instinctively curled into the fetal position, protecting her face and stomach. It was going to be worse this time than the last. He would probably kill her. Piper resigned herself to death as she felt her body go numb. At least she could pretend to be somewhere else. That was all she had now.
Phoebe stared blankly into her mirror, clutching a brush absently. The funeral was today. Darryl had recommended it, promising it would bring a sense of closure. She had argued that an empty coffin would only stir up her hope that Piper was alive somewhere, but Paige and Leo had agreed with Darryl. It was time to move on, they kept saying. Screw them. Phoebe would never fully give up on Piper coming home.
The past two months had been the worst time of her life. She and Paige had done everything they could think of to locate Piper, but as weeks passed and nothing worked, Paige had lost faith, leaving Phoebe to keep up the search on her own. Phoebe had worked non-stop, but last week, when Darryl had suggested burying Piper's memory, she had been forced to face facts. If Piper was coming home, then she would do it under her own power, not because of anything Phoebe could do.
Rationally, she knew it was almost impossible for Piper to still be alive. But, Piper had been the center of her world for two many years, and Phoebe could not stop thinking that if Piper were dead, she would know. She would have to know. Their connection was strong, they had a bond built of love that nothing could break. And that was the problem, wasn't it? Because in the last few months before Piper's disappearance, Phoebe had let their relationship slide, telling herself that Piper would understand if she canceled plans now and again. Piper would understand if she went out instead of staying home to hang out with her family. Piper would understand if she ignored her. Even with the knowledge of how hurt Piper had been throughout this, Phoebe had selfishly chosen her own life, her own job, her own desires over her sister. Now, the guilt was so heavy she felt, at times, it was suffocating her. She could never replace that time in her life, in Piper's life. It would always be there to haunt her.
"Phoebs," Paige said, knocking lightly. Phoebe jumped and turned around. "You ready?"
"No," Phoebe replied honestly.
Paige's perfectly composed face fell. For the first time in days, Phoebe saw real emotion. It hurt to watch her baby sister crumble, but she was a relieved. If Paige could acknowledge her feelings, then she could eventually move past them. Phoebe had to take care of her now. There was no one else. She was the older sister. Paige shuddered and began to cry.
"Me either," Paige finally admitted in a whisper, "I can't do this."
Phoebe motioned Paige to her, then embraced her tightly. As Paige sobbed, Phoebe held her, stroking her hair. She longed to soothe her with reassuring words, but none came. There were none to offer. Piper was gone from their lives, and nothing could make that fact less painful. Phoebe clung tighter, needing an anchor to reality. How could they even begin to live without Piper? Leo peaked through the doorway, his heart breaking along with theirs.
"Girls," he said softly, "We need to go."
Paige pulled away and nodded, sniffling. Phoebe forced herself to her feet. She wasn't ready to do this, but she would. For the family she had left. Clutching Paige's hand, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was time to say goodbye.
AN: HUGE thanks to prues-clues, lulusa, Chub, line100, pippergurl, piperperson, furypiper, Starring Piper, versatile cutie, daria, Abbie Carmichael, Charmed4ever, tessalynne, Amanda, anonymous, Chelsea, line100, daria, Pipery03, and daria (lol, persistent!).
Special thanks to daria and line100 who never gave up on me. Daria, your last review finally kicked the last of writer's block away, and hopefully for good! I would also like to apologize for how long it has been. I didnt realizeWB could be SO tough to get through. Better not underestimate him next time, huh? I hope I can manage to be a LOT faster at updating from here on out, especially since I know where I am going now. I think.
Starring Piper: Well, I managed to get this out a lot sooner than I thought I would. I hope you enjoy it. I won't talk forever here, since we are prolly "talking" as you read this. I love you sweetie!! Thanks for being so wonderful!
Chapter 12
The silence was the hardest part. Once Matt left her, went off to do whatever he did, Piper was left alone to contemplate the mess she was in, had become. How she ever came to love a man she had believed she hated was, at times, revolting. Then again, sometimes she dreamed of how romantic it could have been, if the beginning weren't etched from terrible tragedy. Matt was so sweet, so gentle. His passion enthralled Piper. For hours, he kept her entertained with anecdotes from his past, Silly things he had done as a child. For hours at a time, she could pretend everything was perfect. All because of him.
After all, it wasn't Matt she hated. It was Matthew, Saint Matthew, she had privately dubbed him. He ruined the beautiful times she had with Matt, stained their would-be perfect memories with hateful words and painful beatings. The only thing she hated more than Saint Matthew was his god, the Almighty Being who had ordered Matthew to murder her family. But...As Matt said over and over again, Phoebe and Paige had never really wanted her, anyway. She shouldn't hurt so much over them, but she couldn't help it. She had taken care of them for so long, had loved them more than anything in the world.
'Stop it,' she ordered herself fiercely, 'It's been over two months. Get over it already.' Piper closed her eyes against the tears that were threateningly close, then blinked furiously. Sisters were a part of her past, a past she didn't want to revisit. A past where her husband had ended up hating her, a past where no one had truly loved her. A past without Matt.
Piper felt a twinge of guilt. She felt so ungrateful thinking about her sisters. Life was practically perfect for her. Matt had even promised that she could get rid of the restraints in one more month. Freedom! Piper smiled. Maybe he would even let her go shopping with him. She missed cooking, missed taking care of someone. Matthew was adamant about her staying in the house, but Matt... Matt understood her needs.
"What are you so happy about?"
Piper glanced up. Oh, god. He looked angry. What had she done? Frantically, Piper tried to think of something to say to ease the fury behind his cold smile. Matthew advanced, but Piper forced herself to stay in place. If she moved back, even slightly, he would lose control. She was still sore from the last time he had been upset with her. In fact, the last time he had almost had to take her to the hospital. That had shaken him, or so she thought. He would surely be more careful this time, right? Piper whimpered softly.
"My God is not pleased," Matthew hissed, "He tells me of your plan to leave me. After all I have done for you, you would be such an ungrateful bitch?"
Piper stayed silent. She was never sure if he wanted her to answer him when he was this mad. If she said something, and it was the wrong choice, he would beat her. If she kept quiet, and he wanted an answer, she had more of a chance. Matthew stopped inches in front of her, kneeling to be at eye level.
"Well?," he demanded.
"I would never lea-," Piper tried before realizing, a moment two late, his intent.
Matthew hit her hard, and immediately blood began to gush from her still-tender nose. Crying out, Piper instinctively curled into the fetal position, protecting her face and stomach. It was going to be worse this time than the last. He would probably kill her. Piper resigned herself to death as she felt her body go numb. At least she could pretend to be somewhere else. That was all she had now.
Phoebe stared blankly into her mirror, clutching a brush absently. The funeral was today. Darryl had recommended it, promising it would bring a sense of closure. She had argued that an empty coffin would only stir up her hope that Piper was alive somewhere, but Paige and Leo had agreed with Darryl. It was time to move on, they kept saying. Screw them. Phoebe would never fully give up on Piper coming home.
The past two months had been the worst time of her life. She and Paige had done everything they could think of to locate Piper, but as weeks passed and nothing worked, Paige had lost faith, leaving Phoebe to keep up the search on her own. Phoebe had worked non-stop, but last week, when Darryl had suggested burying Piper's memory, she had been forced to face facts. If Piper was coming home, then she would do it under her own power, not because of anything Phoebe could do.
Rationally, she knew it was almost impossible for Piper to still be alive. But, Piper had been the center of her world for two many years, and Phoebe could not stop thinking that if Piper were dead, she would know. She would have to know. Their connection was strong, they had a bond built of love that nothing could break. And that was the problem, wasn't it? Because in the last few months before Piper's disappearance, Phoebe had let their relationship slide, telling herself that Piper would understand if she canceled plans now and again. Piper would understand if she went out instead of staying home to hang out with her family. Piper would understand if she ignored her. Even with the knowledge of how hurt Piper had been throughout this, Phoebe had selfishly chosen her own life, her own job, her own desires over her sister. Now, the guilt was so heavy she felt, at times, it was suffocating her. She could never replace that time in her life, in Piper's life. It would always be there to haunt her.
"Phoebs," Paige said, knocking lightly. Phoebe jumped and turned around. "You ready?"
"No," Phoebe replied honestly.
Paige's perfectly composed face fell. For the first time in days, Phoebe saw real emotion. It hurt to watch her baby sister crumble, but she was a relieved. If Paige could acknowledge her feelings, then she could eventually move past them. Phoebe had to take care of her now. There was no one else. She was the older sister. Paige shuddered and began to cry.
"Me either," Paige finally admitted in a whisper, "I can't do this."
Phoebe motioned Paige to her, then embraced her tightly. As Paige sobbed, Phoebe held her, stroking her hair. She longed to soothe her with reassuring words, but none came. There were none to offer. Piper was gone from their lives, and nothing could make that fact less painful. Phoebe clung tighter, needing an anchor to reality. How could they even begin to live without Piper? Leo peaked through the doorway, his heart breaking along with theirs.
"Girls," he said softly, "We need to go."
Paige pulled away and nodded, sniffling. Phoebe forced herself to her feet. She wasn't ready to do this, but she would. For the family she had left. Clutching Paige's hand, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was time to say goodbye.
