Hey, I'm really into Resident Evil Outbreak right now. My three favorite characters are George, David, and Kevin. I did this story because I hoped it would be funny in such a scary and serious game. Here goes!


It's New Year's Eve…let's see what the Resident Evil Outbreak gang is doing…


"Woohoo!" Kevin yelled, somewhat drunk. "Give me another beer, bartender!"

The zombie bartender groaned and passed Kevin another beer. Then the bartender began wiping a mug with a rag.

George was standing rather stiffly by himself, and Kevin decided to cheer him up.

"Hey buddy, what's wrong?" Kevin asked, staggering over to George. He steadied himself by grabbing onto the countertop of the bar. "Can't walk tonight. Heh heh."

"That's because you've consumed too much beer," was George's reply.

"Maybe," Kevin said, "or maybe it's because I'm so blitzed from all the fun I'm having!"

"Uh, I think it's the beer," George said, inching away.

"Hey, don't be like that, pal," Kevin said, clapping a hand down on George's shoulder. "You need to lighten up a little. Here, have a beer."

"No thanks," George said, holding up a hand and shaking his head. "I don't want to ruin my good health."

"Aw, come one," Kevin prodded, waving the mug. "You only live once!"

"Then I'd like to live it in good health," George said, a little snappish. "Besides, the mug's empty."

Kevin grinned. "That can be fixed."

The zombie bartender filled up a new mug, and started to wipe another one, when the hand holding the dirty mug snapped off and hit the floor. The mug shattered, and the zombie moaned loudly.

"So," Kevin said, returning to George with the new mug, "What do you say?"

George eyed the mug, torn, and chewed his lip. After a while, he gave in.

"Oh, why the hell not," he said, taking it. "What could happen?"

He took a sip.


"Dude, you know what?" George said. "Back in high school, I was the shizzit in breakdancing!"

George had changed into his other outfit (you know, the True Tenderness one with the sunglasses and yellow coat), and the beer had made him thoroughly crazy.

"Really?" Kevin said, taking another sip of beer from his own mug. He was enjoying the laid back George. He was…funny!

"Yeah, man! Oh dude. Check out this shit!" George said, stepping back a few paces. "Give me some music!"

Kevin put down his mug and started making noises with his mouth (like the rap videos).

"Oh damn, oh damn, somebody better hold me back!" George yelled, and then flew into breakdancing.


"Check out those two crazy muthers," Jim said, pointing at Kevin and George. "That doctor thinks he can dance."

"He can dance," Mark commented, "but he's pretty old. He might hurt himself."

"Yeah, man, I guess so, but- Holy shit! Where'd that hot chick come from?" Jim yelled.

"Who?" Mark asked, looking around. "Cindy?"

"Naw, dawg, that fine ass Lucy Liu one!"

Mark stared. "You mean Yoko?"

"Wow, man, I never noticed how fine she was!" Jim said, staring at her.

Mark glanced over at him. "Uh, she's not 'fine', you're just drunk."

"Hold up, hold up, I'm going to make a move on her," Jim said, running a hand through his short hair. He left the table and began walking towards her.

At the table, Mark shook his head.

"Crazy muther," he muttered.


Yoko uttered a string of Japanese angrily.

"Yeah, well, don't come near me with your hydrogen bombs!" David yelled. "I know all about your secret army that's specifically trained to destroy me. You think you have me fooled, but NO! I'm on to you, woman!"

Yoko rolled her eyes and walked away.


Beer had made David paranoid, and he thought everyone was out to get him. Hence, his outburst with Yoko.

David stiffened as Jim walked by.

"Oh my god, a driveby!" David yelled.

He overturned the table and used it as a shield against his imaginary delusions.

Jim kept on walking.


"And (sniffle), everyone (sniff) thinks I'm a total bitch (sniff), BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!" Alyssa sobbed, laying her head down on the table and crying. Cindy patted her head.

"It's okay, Alyssa," she said. "At least you're good at admitting that you're a stuck up, arrogant, pushy bitch."

Alyssa looked up. "Excuuuse me?"


Jim had reached Yoko, and surprisingly, things were going quite well.

"And so I was wondering if maybe you'd like, you know, to come back to my place," Jim said.

"Oh, Yoko would love to," she said, but was interrupted.

"AT LEAST I'M NOT AN ANNOYING WHORE!" Alyssa screeched.

"AT LEAST I'M NOT A WORTHLESS BITCH!" Cindy shrieked.

They got into a fight, scratching at each other and pulling each other's hair.

Jim broke up the fight.

"All right, I'll settle this," he said. "You're both bitches."

They both started fighting with him.

"Get your hands off Yoko's man, bimbos!" Yoko yelled, joining in the fight.

David climbed on top of a table.

"Take this, you assassins!" he yelled, and leapt into the fight, landing on a few people and knocking them down.

Over in their corner, Kevin and George looked over.

George stood up.

"Oh man, dawg, lookit all dem bitches gettin' in each other's faces," he said.

They ran over, and George attempted to settle everyone down.

"Step off, bitches!"

"George, shut the f--- up!" someone yelled.

"Oh, so now the black man gets it, huh?" George said. "It's because I'm BLACK, isn't it!"

"George, you aren't black," Mark said from his table.

"Don't be hatin' a brother, brother!" George said.

The fight started up again, and Kevin and George got sucked into it.

Mark shook his head.

"Man, this place is a f---ing nuthouse," he said. "Full of crazy mother f------."


"Ergh…my head," George groaned, rubbing his head. His whole body hurt. What happened last night?

He rolled over to see Kevin sitting next to him on the floor with a smile.

"You were great," Kevin said.

George let out a yell of disgust and crawled away.

Kevin laughed.

"I'm just kidding," he said. "Nothing happened. I dragged you here after you got sick and threw up."

George groaned as he sat up, his head pounding. He searched through his medical kit, but…

"Where the f--- is all my aspirin?" he yelled.

Kevin shrugged.

"The others took it."


David was pissed.

"I hate you all! It was a HORRIBLE idea to go drinking!"

Jim looked up.

"Pity you can't make something to fix that mouth of yours."

"I can make something to fix yours," David said, smashing one end of a beer bottle on a table so it became jagged. "You want to start something, hombre?"

Jim smashed a bottle so it became jagged.

"Hell yeah, let's go, Latino!"

"Now kids (urgh!), no fighting (ow!), no biting," George said. He had to lean on Kevin because last night's drinking binge hadn't worn off. He had to wait until he could walk properly again. And he needed aspirin.

"Which one of you bastards took all my aspirin?" he demanded.

"Oh, so now it's YOUR aspirin?" Alyssa asked.

"It's always been my aspirin!" George said. "It was in my bag!"

"Are you suggesting that we looted your bag?" Jim asked.

George stared at Jim's wrist.

"Hey, that's my watch, you little punk!"

"Oh damn!"

George chased Jim around for a while, and then caught him.

"Give me back my aspirin!" George yelled. "And my watch!"

He managed to wrestle his items off Jim, and swallowed some aspirin.

"Now, maybe we can think clearer, and never do this again," he said.

"Amen," David agreed.


It's over! I would just like to say that I do not own Resident Evil Outbreak or any of its characters, and that I have never played the game in my life, so I'm sorry if I got the personalities wrong. I was going to have Yoko's Japanese translated in subtitles for one part, but wasn't sure how to do it, so I left it out. I would also like to say sorry to all the readers of my Zim fic, I'll work on it when I get out of this Resident Evil Outbreak phase. Er…let me know how you like it (I doubt I'll do another one; how can I continue it?), and I'll see you around!

Peace and Love!

"Stop! You're triggering their defense mechanism!"

"What, the reek of wet ass?"

Sealab 2021, Dr. Quinn and Sparks

(I love you Sparks! )