I'm
so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And
if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause
your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
She ghosted around the home much like he did; the only difference was she was real. Flesh and blood, eating, sleeping, crying, hiding…dying. It was her own fear that traps her in her own home. A place that once she had loved as if she had grown up within its halls. But now, now it was a mausoleum, a monument to greed, power, and ultimately death. Once vibrant halls now were cold, dusty, and down right eerie. Still she feared the light. What would become of her if she walked away from this place and never looked back? So very tried of the fear yet totally unable to walk away from it, from his presence; a presence that just won't leave her be to move on with life.
These
wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's
just too much that time cannot erase
There were days when she could hear his voice, so cold and angry; the mere memory of curse after excruciating curse would rack her body with a nearly physical pain. A pain entirely too real to be a memory but not fake enough to be a dream. It hurt to remember, but it hurt to forget.
When
you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd
fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of
these years
But you still have
All of me
For so many years she had been the one that hide his secrets, kept him hidden, lied when she saw him cry out in pain, fear, or distrust. She screamed silent screams when he was fearful of retribution. She held his hand when she couldn't stand to even look at him. Guiding and directing him threw the ever present storm.
You
used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by
the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant
dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
For so many years she had been captivated by sharp angles and brilliant blond locks. So many shared ambitions; the same house the same upbringing. She was willingly his before he even asked. She knew her destiny. He captivated her with a smirk and kept her with a curse. Only to be left in his wake with neither. Left fearing the outside world, because of his misdeeds.
She trusts nothing, not even her own eyes. It's not that she doesn't believe in spirits, ghouls, and ghosts. After all she had attended Hogwarts with its many apparitions. But this, this was not what they had been. He was there, but not, a mist that moved, always by her side. Haunting, wafting to and fro. Never letting her forget what he had been or who he once was, yet never speaking.
Even in her sleeping hours he seemed to invade her dreams; turning sweet dreams to nightmares. No amount of dreamless sleep seemed to cure his presence. He speaks to her there, whispering horrible secrets, memories, trespasses on those she cared about. Scared from sleep, she returned to ghosting through her lifeless existence, her sanity hanging by a meager thread.
These
wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's
just too much that time cannot erase
As sudden as it went, it would come again. Pain, hot and fresh, brought on by more fear and even less sleep. She didn't know if it was real or if it, and possibly him, were figments of her imagination. Still it hurt like red hot pokers driven threw her skin. She would hear him scream, but his foggy lips never moved; pain white and hot, only a memory, like a cut that refused to heal.
I've
tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're
still with me
I've been alone all along
She tried, tried to tell herself that it was her imagination, that Lucius wasn't haunting the manor much less herself. But no manor of talking to ones self can make her believe he wasn't staring at her night and day. He had been dead so long. It had been so long since she had become his window. She had been left alone to live a life haunted by his memory in a home far too large for one. The emptiness only seemed to drive her sanity further away, enforcing her visions of his icy gave. Alone, all alone, but still completely all of his.
A/N: Lyrics by Evanescence from the song "My Immortal".
