Mixed Feelings

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed nor it's characters.

By, Sid

Hello everyone. I apologize for the wait. I've been quite busy over the past month or so with all these tests and stuff to pass. First off, I'd like to clear up some misconceptions. I've got nothing against Athrun. I've got nothing against Lacus. Nor am I "sick" but feel free to hold to your beliefs. I'm a writer. I write. What I write is up to me, no offense intended to any of you. I'm not saying I don't appreciate your opinions because I do, so if there's anything you think I could do to help the story feel free to comment. With that said I hope you all enjoy the new chapter of this.

Cagalli awoke with a groan wincing as she sat up. Her whole body was sore from the pain of the other night back to haunt her times a hundred. But with the physical pain the events of the previous night came to mind as well. She hadn't gotten much sleep, thinking up different possibilities as to where her father might have been mistaken regarding her and Kira's blood ties. Tears of hopelessness had drenched her plush pillow when she had finally drifted off around 4 a.m.

She dreaded having to stand up. She dreaded having to move about. She dreaded the concerned gazes she was sure to receive from Lacus and Athrun and the questions that would be sure to follow. But most of all she dreaded having to face Kira. Kira, who knew exactly how deep, her feelings for him ran. Kira, who had gazed at her last night, with the same passion she had held in her own eyes. Kira, whom she knew, even if it was just slightly, returned her feelings for him. Kira, whose voice had cracked with pain, of his own and of the pain he had caused her, as he had fled her room. Kira, who was her one remaining blood relative, her only relative, her brother.

How cruel fate was.

A knock sounded on the door causing Cagalli to freeze, her heart in her throat. Kira. Had he thought it over and decided he really did love her? To tell her that things would work out? That they'd find a way to be together. She took a deep breath to calm herself and tried to speak in what she hoped would sound as a normal tone. "Yes?" The handle turned then and as the door slowly slid open, her heart raced, her stomach fluttering, only to come to a thundering halt when she saw the face that appeared at the door.

She couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice then. It was impossible. "Lacus… come in."

"I-I'm sorry to disturb you, Kira told me you were injured last night by accident… he didn't explain the details however… anyhow I thought I'd check up on you maybe fix you up a little?"

Cagalli stared at Lacus for a moment. Lacus who was so small, feminine, happy, friendly toward all who surrounded her. Was this the type of woman Kira who prefer? Would he like her better if she were life Lacus? She thought back to the other day when Kira had first seen Lacus. She thought again how he had hugged her… lingered a bit longer than necessary.

"Cagalli?" Lacus asked innocently with a concerned look on her face.

She was so sweet. She wished she could hate her. She wished she could behave cruelly toward her. She wished she could tell her to get out of her house and away from Kira. And yet when she opened her mouth to speak she couldn't… "I'm fine Lacus… it was just a slight bruise, a good night's sleep was all I needed.

She smiled at her then. I bright smile that awakened all her envy. Kira should be with someone like Lacus she thought. Someone who wasn't tomboy-ish or too stubborn or selfish for her own good. Someone who could give him all of what she couldn't. He deserved more. More than a love that would be scorned by all who surrounded them. More than a woman who couldn't even bear him children.

Lacus came to sit beside her. Her tender gaze reaching out to her. "Kira loves you, you know." She said. Cagalli's eyes widened and she turned away to blink back the sudden tears that her words had invoked.

"What are you saying?" she whispered huskily.

"I'm saying what you should already know… what you shouldn't doubt… you're the one most important to him," she paused to survey the effect of her words on Cagalli for a moment before continuing, "I don't know what your dispute is about, or why the two of you have been behaving so oddly since Athrun and I arrived but Kira would never intentionally hurt you."

"You love him don't you?" Cagalli murmured as she looked at the pink haired beauty in front of her. Lacus gave Cagalli a surprised look.

After a moment she stated, "I love him," and Cagalli clenched her fists as a searing pain assaulted her chest when she heard Lacus continue, "as do you." Cagalli's head snapped up and she brought her shocked gaze to Lacus' knowing eyes. She knew.

"How…?" she heard herself ask, her voice hoarse.

"It's the way you gaze at him," Lacus said quietly, "your eyes give it away, it's not something you can hide… not from me anyway." She said with a smile. It wasn't a mocking smile but one that offered sympathy, compassion, understanding.

"You don't find me disgusting? Unnatural?" Cagalli asked.

Lacus stared at her for a long moment before opening her arms to her as if offering a comforting hug and whispered three words, "you didn't know." Cagalli sobbed then and hugged the woman back.

Kira sat at the kitchen table waiting for Lacus to return and confirm Cagalli's condition. He had wanted to go to her, to see how she was doing… no… he had wanted to see her, so much that it hurt but he knew he couldn't. He knew what had happened between them yesterday was wrong and that it was a mistake that would never, could never, be repeated.

He remember Cagalli's despair filled eyes and regret filled him yet still… he could do not. As he thought of this for a brief moment he hated himself. He hated himself for the pain he caused Cagalli. He hated himself for what he was. And then he hated himself for being weak. He clenched his fists wishing that they had never knew, that her father hadn't told them of their relationship. 'I need her!' his heart seemed to cry out. But be had to do what was best for Cagalli. Society wouldn't permit a relationship between them and he wouldn't cause Cagalli anymore pain then she had already suffered. He knew he needed to make her understand, to make her see but… 'but how?'

Then he froze when a thought struck him. 'Lacus.'

Sorry guys, yall just gotta wait and see what happens next. ;p Hope you liked it and please review!