THE EVIL STORY OF DOOM!
Disclaimer: ((sob)) We still don't own Beyblade or Yu Yu Hakusho but we're trying. We still own all that other stuff… except my house… the bank owns that. But the nifty eraser is ours and its awesome niftiness. So there. Live with it.
Vive la France!
You don't even take French!
So?
((insert title here))
"Nice look."
"Hot stuff."
"Got a number sweetie?"
This comment made Umi go off the deep end. Sure, maybe she was already there. But she just went A LOT deeper.
"Tu madre es muy bien en la cama de mi primo," she smiled. Yes, she knew that the guy had no idea what she said, but it was hilarious when her cousin went off the deep end too. Hey, if you're gonna go down, you gotta take someone with you.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME YOU LITTLE WELP!" Kurama exploded. Normally, he wouldn't have gone off like that, but today, everything was driving him crazy.
"You heard me."
"What did you say about him?" Willow asked.
"She said something about something being very good," Eclipse answered. She didn't take Spanish, but everybody knows what muy bien is. "Apparently it couldn't have been that good if Kurama's mad about it."
Tyson looked up from the food he had just stolen from a random passerby. "…Did I miss something?"
Before Kurama went off again, the guy's friend came over and whispered something into his ear. The guy's expression went from confused, to mad, to disgusted. He walked off.
Nightshade asked first, "what was that about?"
Kurama shuddered and looked into his apple pie, "nothing…nothing…"
Umi jumped up and twisted his arm, "WHAT? What does 'nothing' mean?"
"It's not that important that they need to know about it."
She smacked him. "Everybody needs to know when I'm insulting you."
Kenny looked up. "Why, what did you say?"
"She said, 'Your mom is very good in my cousin's bed,'" Kai said, trying not to laugh at the horrified expressions on the people's faces.
"That's so…so…HILLARIOUS!" Tyson choked out. "How do you say that?"
Hillary hit him over the head with a spoon. "That's not important."
"Yeah it is!"
Willow spoke up, "you don't have a cousin."
Tyson looked down and up again. "Thanks a lot Willow."
"Just a brother…who's very cute…"
Kai directed a glare and smacked her in the back of the head.
"BITCH SLAP!" screamed Nightshade.
Suddenly a security guard showed up.
"Excuse me, but this is a family-oriented mall and we preferred if you refrained from profanity."
Umi looked up. "Tu madre es un sandwich jamón."
"Will you quit insulting people's mothers!" Kurama asked.
"Quizá(1)…"
"Umi! I'm serious!"
"May your children be devoured by ducks," Willow muttered.
"No prob Mr. Security guard!" Max piped up. "We won't swear anymore."
"That's what I like to see in today's American youth."
"Um… we're in Japan… but he is American."
The security guard gave everyone an uncomfortable grin and walked off.
"Tu madre es un tostador!"
"Umi! Quit calling people's moms toasters!"
"Fine… but he's shiny…like a toaster. So he must be the descendent of a toaster."
"Hey, Yuuske's shiny, is his mother a toaster?" asked Kuwabara.
"No! My mom's not a toaster… maybe…" attempted Yuuske in self-defense.
"Was your dad an ape Kuwabara? 'Cuz you're hairy and stupid." Said Hiei.
"No! …well, I don't know…hey, you just called me stupid!" Kuwabara replied.
"Necesito obtener amigos nuevos (2)."
Kurama looked up from his food. "I'm sure your friends would find that offensive."
"Tu madre—"
"Es su tía.(3)"
"I hate you."
"Not to interrupt," Rei said, "but are we done here? We're getting weird looks from people passing by and the security people."
"We should get going," Kai said.
"So we can get out of these ridiculous outfits," Willow added.
"No, you've got 3 more hours, and 15 seconds," calculated Kenny.
"You've ever seen South Park Kenny?" asked Nightshade.
"No, what's that?"
"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"
Kenny went pale in the face and returned to his computer.
"So, can we hide somewhere? Like in a sewer or something?" asked Eclipse.
"No." said Kai, pushing Willow off the bench.
"You are so going to pay for that."
"How so?"
"Trust me…you'll know."
So after a 5 minute discussion of where they were going to do, they decided on home. After all, they could take the long way home if need be.
"Voy a conducer!" Umi shouted in the middle of the parking lot.
"Heck no!" Kai shouted. "I want to live!"
"So?"
"Umi, you're not driving. I am," Kurama replied, taking out the keys.
"Tu madre—"
"Umi! Enough of that!"
Eclipse walked up to the car. "Kurama, the door's locked—why did you take only 1 car? We can't all fit in…one…"
Nightshade went pale. "Oh no. Nu-uh. No way."
"WE ARE NOT GOING TO WALK HOME!" Willow shouted.
The guys were standing there, looking triumphant. Then they knew. There wasn't enough room in the car, and their embarrassment was just beginning. They had to walk, down the highway, to get home. In these ridiculous outfits.
"Cuando yo llego a casa, vas a obtener una paliza (4)," Umi threatened, holding out a random pistol from where it came, nobody knew.
"Whatever you say cousin dear, whatever you say."
And that's the end of Chapter 5 y'all. Read and review or else…
(1)Maybe…
(2)I need to get new friends.
(3)Is your aunt.
(4)When I get home, you're going to get a beating.
Yes, there is a reason for all the Spanish. I need the practice. So gimme a break, gosh.
