1Mixed Feelings
By, Sid
Author's Note:
Heya everyone! I've been wanting to bring this fic to an end and I think I can finish it within the next chapter. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions about how I should conclude it please let me know. I'll be glad to hear them out.
So that said without further ado, enjoy the story.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this so don't sure me.
Ohh and p.s. everyone the italics are flashbacks to the last chapter and '' are Kira's thoughts.
Kira's POV
"And for the record... she's not your sister."
I walked down the street not seeing anything.
"It looks like Cagalli could have been adopted."
'Adopted. There's a chance she's not my sister... and there's the chance that she is.'
"Can I risk it?" I asked myself. Can I really risk it?
"If you think of her like a sister then treat her like one. If you think of her as a lover then treat her like one. It isn't a hard concept Kira... but instead of turning to the person you claim to love with your feelings, you spend the night in your room with my fiancé. Why the hell wouldn't she run off."
I didn't notice myself stop. I couldn't see the sun shining down on me. I didn't see anything.
"If you think of her like a sister then treat her like one. If you think of her as a lover then treat her like one. It isn't a hard concept Kira..."
'It's not that easy. It's not!'
'What are you so afraid of?' a voice whispered in my head, ' you've faced worse... you're stronger than this.'
I was shaking now. I could feel the blood drain from my head. I swayed and slowly slid to the ground my hands clenched.
"Cagalli ... she deserves better... I'm only trying to do what's best for her..." I whispered to myself.
'But are you really doing what's best? She needs you... you know she needs you...'
"She doesn't."
'Then why did she run away? Why was she hurt when you pushed her away? Why didn't she turn to Athrun like you expected?'
"Because..."
'She can't look at you as a brother... and you can never look at her as a sister can you?'
A war was waging inside of me. I wanted to scream. To cry. To throw a fit. In the end I chose to pull myself up and look around me instead. I had reached my destination and I hadn't even realized it.
It was the beach. I slowly walked towards the water and I stood there while the waves raged for the longest time. It was eerily quiet for this time of day. There was no one around. I knew she was here though. I knew her. I turned and looked around the sandy shore until I glimpsed something I hadn't noticed before. It was a cave a few feet away from where I stood hidden between a rocky cliff... It could be easily glanced over by a normal person but...
I waved into the water and took off to where the waves splashed at the rocks. The water shoved at me a bit but I managed to reach the rocks, wedge myself in between them and scoot into the cave.
My breathing was harsh. I was soaked in water and the sunlight peeked into the cave was not enough to dry my clothes naturally but it didn't matter. There was Cagalli sitting before me her eyes wide as she stared. I waded in further towards her until when I had reached her side the water had receded.
"What are you..."
I didn't listen but pulled her into my embrace instead. I held her tightly not wanting to let go.
"Don't do this again... I was worried..."
She slowly pulled herself away from me. Her eyes were watery and her clothes were damp and sticking to her.
"Y-you didn't have to look for me... g... go back... Lacus will be worried."
"Lacus?"
"...you're together with her aren't you? ...You stayed with her last night..."
My eyes narrowed and I stared at her as she clenched her fists. Her head was down and she refused to look at me.
"It's okay... I get it now... you don't want me."
"Cagalli."
"I was too pushy. I didn't think about your feelings at all."
"Cagalli."
"I guess Athrun is okay with it? Why wouldn't he be... you're friends after all. I was the only one who didn't understand."
"Cagalli." I repeated softly as I listened to her babble.
"I was-"
She couldn't finish the rest as I had kissed her. Her lips were soft beneath mine, and they parted as she let out a gasp. Her eyes flickered shut and I kept kissing her. Slowly I released her from the kiss but I still held her close. She opened her eyes to stare at me in confusion then.
"Gomen ne..."
"I don't... I don't understand."
"I pushed you away because I knew that if something happened between up you would end up getting hurt... but I hurt you anyway."
I burrowed my face into her neck before I continued.
"What I felt for you... feel for you... it's wrong and I knew that.. You deserve better."
"But I love you! I'll gladly stay with you no matter what we have to face! We've been through worse Kira!"
"I know..." I whispered, "I know... I just couldn't look at it that way... I thought that if we were sister and brother then that was how I'd treat you but I couldn't... I still knew what I felt for you."
I looked up at her and slid my hands into her silk like hair and brought her forward.
"I can't treat you as a sister even if it turns out you are..."
"If...?" Confusion showed in her eyes now, "but we..."
"There's a possibility that we're not related Cagalli."
She was silent as she stared at me. I knew how she was feeling. I knew her mind was whirling with what I had just revealed to her.
"No... no... that's not true because Father said..."
"He gave you the picture of us together... but he never said we were twins..."
She slumped forward onto my chest and I slowly stroked her back. "I'm not sure of the details but... Murrue found some papers... it looks like you were adopted Cagalli... it's possible we're not related by blood."
Her hands clenched my shirt and she buried herself further into my chest.
"So if we are you'll go back to how you were..."
"No!" I yelled. "No..." I said softer this time as a pulled her back to look into her eyes.
"Because I love you... if it's okay... it will be if it turns out we are but... will you stay with me forever? Not as a sister but as my lover?"
I knew her answer as I watched her. Tears spilled onto her cheek but a smile had lit her face.
"Yes," she whispered to me her voice cracking, "no matter what..." And we stayed there in each others arms for the longest time for now we could be content.
That's it everyone! Kira and Cagalli are officially together. Don't worry I won't leave you all hanging! I know you're still curious so I'm thinking that the next chapter will be that last one. I hope you liked this chappie and please don't forget to review! Thanks!
