Mr
Fenway
by
Jargonelle
Summary:
"He's in good shape, probably works out. He's got an expensive
watch and a cheap tie."
Albert gives Danny yet another lesson.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hustle.
-----
"Come on, Danny, think. What do you know? What can you use?"
Danny looked up at Albert from where he was slouched on the sofa. "Erm... he's tall. He's in good shape, probably works out. He's got an expensive watch and a cheap tie."
"Good, good. Anything else?"
"He's got... he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got..." Danny drummed his fingers on his lap as he thought. "He thinks he's funny, expected me to laugh at his jokes, the tosser. He's going to the south of France with the missus, but he'd rather be going to hell."
"Because he doesn't like France or because he doesn't get on with his wife?"
Danny sat upright with a sudden burst of frustration. "I dunno! The Frogs, I guess."
"You guess? Why do you guess that? It's good that you use your instincts, but you've got to be able to break them down. Find out exactly what gave you that impression."
"I'm tired." Danny crossed his arms and pouted. "Don't you get tired of this?"
"Of what, my boy?"
"Of sending me out on these 'exercises', which I inevitably cock-up, and then sitting there looking smug and all-knowing and getting to prove your point, yet again?"
Albert smiled.
"Oh yeah, right. Sorry, stupid question."
"It's reassuring to an old man such as myself, that there are still some things I can teach you."
"Between you and Mickey, it's like I haven't learnt a bloody thing in my entire life."
"Just trying to make ourselves feel useful. Now where were we regarding Mr Fenway?"
Danny rolled his eyes. "We were right at the bit where you point out hundreds of clues I've overlooked and then reveal that he's actually a hippy or an ecowarrior or a clown or something instead of the dodgy car dealer he cunningly disguises himself as."
"This time, he is just a car salesman."
"I knew it!" Danny crowed.
Albert raised his eyebrows. "Did you really? I thought you were expecting him to be some kind of circus performer?"
"Well... yeah, I didn't mean that. Not really. I was just testing... All right, fine."
"Sometimes Danny, a cigar just is a cigar."
"But not always?"
"But not always."
"You give the strangest lessons," Danny said. "But Mickey turned out all right, didn't he, so I'm guessing there's a method to your madness."
"All part of the master plan," Albert said, "now go get yourself into trouble. I've got scheming to do."
Danny was half way out the door when he turned back, "Listen Albert-"
"Don't worry, I won't tell Mickey what you said about him."
"You're the man!" Danny yelled, slamming the door behind him.
Glad that Danny had finally got something right, Albert picked up his newspaper and quickly found the crossword. "I am, indeed, the man," he thought, and he filled in the one answer he had been missing.
-----
The End
-----
