Chapter 1.

"Here's to another year of noble-ness!" Shunsui shouted. "And here's to sake! And here's sake!" He gulped down another cup.

Byakuya sat stiffly, folding his arms and legs. Another birthday, another day for everyone to slack off. Well, some people just slack off endlessly. He looked at Matsumoto and her attempt to make her captain drink sake. All she did was put a load of it in his white hair.

"Byakuya, have some fun! Drink some sake! It's your birthday! Now that I think of it, I've never seen you drunk! Or drink at all!" Ukitake nudged Byakuya along. He was surely drunk against Unohana's orders. His 3rd seats weren't doing so great either in being sober.

"I don't drink."

"Why not?" Rukia asked. She slowly sipped her sake and made a face. "It's horrible, but older people should love it...I didn't mean you're old or anyhting, heh."

"There is no need for alcoholic beverages for celebration."

"Even Yachiru is taking it down by the mouthfuls, and Kenpachi's already hallucinating he's battling Ichigo."

Byakuya looked to the side. Bells were scattered on the floor and Kenpachi was swinging an umbrella madly with red eyes.

"Ichigo, I know you're there! Stop running like a coward!" He fell over the couch. "Aha, good trick Ichigo, tripping me with a couch! But you won't do any damage like that!" Yachiru bounced on his shoulder. "Wai...Ken-chan...Ichi's over there! Hah, he looks like a table..." She fell asleep on his shoulder while Kenpachi continued to swing a blunt umbrella at the guests.

"...I didn't need to know that. Furthermore..."

"One sip please? I just want to hear what you think of it. Someone here made this you know," Rukia smiled.

Byakuya looked at a certain 12th division captain playing poker with his body parts.

"No no, not him, nii-sama. Um, it was from a friend." Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Inoue pour the beverage for guests. "...and all you really need are lemons and peppers, snake tail, wasabi sauce and dandelions..." Rukia giggled. "Try some, nii-sama. It's spicy sake."

There she goes again with the spicy. Byakuya thought. I can't resist the temptation of spiciness. He really needed to back away from spicy foods, but they were just too good to refuse. He picked up a small cup of spicy sake from Rukia's hands and swished the contents inside. He waited for it to settle. It was a small amount. It won't matter this time. He thought. It's only a little; can't hurt to just try it. I don't have a problem with it, do I? I?

"You're thinking too long, nii-sama."

"Fine." He sipped the small amount of spicy sake from the cup and shook his head twice. He tasted a spicy, lemony, wasabi...y, snake-taily taste. It was good, he thought and placed the cup down. "Leave me now for a second Rukia."

"Alright nii-sama...um, Kira-fukutaichou...that's not sake." Rukia scurried off. Byakuya clutched his forehead. It was happening. He marched away from the party and went to the bathroom. Cold water. Just need to concentrate. He leaned against the sink and splashed water on his face. A stomping noise approached the door as he wiped his face and he was startled to see Kenpachi, now brandishing Yamamoto's cane.

"Fweh nobleman! Get back to the party, or I'll cane you to death!"

Yachiru appeared from behind his back. "Like an old man! Obey Ken-grandpa!"

Byakuya brushed past the staggering captain and drunk child to see the rest gathered at a dinner table. Half of them were intoxicated, some were mildly drunk and some were spitting out their drinks. Inoue held a full cup to Byakuya, but he passed it and sat down at the head of the table.

"We are here...why are we here again? Oh yes, because our little master just turned -insert age here-! Here's to aging!" Yoruichi spat. The rest drank their sake and pleaded for seconds from Orihime. "And also, I am here because -hiccup- a certain someone mixed alcohol in my milk! Here's to alcoholic milk!" Orihime poured thirds. "AND! I'm not done! Get away from me Urahara! And, we are all here today...because I am so drunk...and I can't control my habit of getting naked! Here's to nekkkkedness!"

"Yoruichi-san, I think that's enough," Ishida mumbled at the side of the table.

"I think it's Abarai-kun's turn to give a speech!" Orihime screamed above the shouts of the crowd. Yoruichi wanted to strip again.

"Eh-hem. Okay here's my speech. I've been vice-captain for some time and I should say this...haha, Kuchiki-taichou wears noodles!"

"Renji!" Rukia shouted.

"And..." he slurred. "I think he should dye his hair red to match me! You know, cause the girls all over the fandom Internet love my hair. And yea, when it's down, I could whip people when I turn my head. Also, six division rocks. Here's to sixth division!"

Orihime poured...fifths. Rukia turned her head slowly. She expected her brother's cold dark stare and possibly a sword in his hand. No one would make fun of his kenseikan...well, in public anyways, cause, well, noodle jokes do travel in Soul Society. She only saw nii-sama's head on the table. "Nii-sama? Are you okay?"

"I...think..." Byakuya stuttered. "Renji's right!"

The room fell silent. They all stared at their noble. He was pink in the face.

"Drink up!" Byakuya chugged down an empty cup and sweetly took a breath. "Delicious!"

"Are you..." Rukia started.

"Holy xxxx, Hisana! You're here too? Here's to dead people! Come here, dead wife!"

Rukia ran behind a drunk Renji who became less intoxicated with every passing moment with a drunk captain. "Taichou..." Renji muttered. "How many cups of sake did you drink?"

"Abarai-kun, he only drank a spoonful of the stuff," Orihime replied. "Kuchiki-san got drunk from that."

"He's alcoholic-sensitive?"

"How was I supposed to know!" Rukia cried.

Byakuya rummaged through the tablecloth to find something of sorts. He pulled out a broomstick.