Chapter 2.
"Byakuya...that's...ow don't hit me with that. I have a cold you know," Ukitake pleaded for Byakuya to stop. Ukitake's sake spell was over, and sober only because he was too freaked out by the merry Byakuya.
"Come on, we decided this already. I'm the hero and you're the evil white-haired monster from another planet!" Byakuya swung his broomstick once more. "Eat dustbunnies!" The bristles landed in Ukitake's mouth.
"I can't help it if I have white hair! And phooey, that thing's full of germs and everything! Rukia-chan, help me!"
"Ni...nii-sama, put that thing down now. Please don't hiss at me. Nii-sama...ah help me Renji!"
Renji took a broomstick from Hanatarou (convenient eh?) and started to poke his taichou from atop the dresser. Byakuya swung his own weapon around and bit into the wood of Renji's broom.
"Nii-sama!"
He started to throw his kenseikan like little torpedoes at the guests, snickering like a child. "Alright! I'm coming down from here...ah Rukia, catch me, will you?" He jumped down from the ceiling. Rukia started running around in circles, flailing her arms, trying to aim for her big brother who's now waving his arms in midair.
"I can do this, I can do this...I can't do this!" Rukia's face met with the floor with Byakuya sitting on her butt.
"Aha, Miss Turniphead, come to foil my justice-ness again?" Byakuya pointed his finger up Rukia's nostril.
"Turnip?" Rukia felt around her head. It's not a turnip. It's style! "Ah, did you just make up this name now?...out of your drunken mind."
"Turniphead? Oh no, Rukia, I've been waiting to call you a turnip, waaay before today!"
Rukia blushed madly and swiped a comb from Matsumoto's bosom. She started to brush like crazy in the corner of the table. Byakuya switched his glance to a vulnerable Renji, standing amidst the drunken chaos.
"Some here, my sidekick, Graffiti-face. We must vanquish the evil white-haired overlord, Tuberculosis!"
Ukitake looked around and then pointed to himself. "Me? You don't have to make fun of my illness..."
"Charge!" Byakuya dove in with his stick and fell onto the floor, passing out.
Renji poked his neck with the end of his broomstick. "I think he's out."
Rukia returned, patting her hair down, but it bounced back up. "Renji...you don't think I look like a turnip, do you?" She sniffed.
Renji proceeded to stare at Rukia's hair, curled around her face neatly with a knob on the top of her head. "It's fine the way it looks Rukia."
"So you're saying I do look like a turnip, and you're just covering it up because you're trying to be nice! Ukitake-taichou?"
"It's a good hair style."
Rukia pounded her hair down with her palms. Renji shifted his eyes until he felt a hand grab his shoulder. Renji screamed and smacked the hand out of his reach and looked down at the tipsy Byakuya.
"I have an idea...guys. Renji said, I should dye my hair red...Ukitake needs to do something with his ridiculous white hair and Rukia needs to get rid of the turnip and aw heck, Renji, you need to grow some hair on those triangle bald spots on the top of your head..."
"Bald spots! I needed room for the tattoos!" Renji covered his head with his hand.
"I propose that we go to professionals and get us fixed up! Fixxxed up!" Byakuya grabbed Rukia and slung her over his shoulder. "To 11th division!"
"11th division! Professionals?" Renji and Uiktake cried. They ran after the noble as he skipped merrily to Zaraki's headquarters.
--
"There! 11th division!" Byakuya yelled. He pointed to the beat up building with blood splattered walls and a perfect square of dead flowers, so called a garden. The rest of the party shivered in the death aura that surrounded the place. Rukia gave up fighting her brother's grasp a long time ago. "We are going to ask the expertise of that peacock wussy head, Yumichika! Come on!"
They opened the doors to find a couple of shinigamis on the floor, sprawled on the wooden floor, scratching their buttocks. Yumichika was slowly sipping a cup of tea, reading a fashion magazine.
"Oi, oi, Yuuumichika!" Byakuya waved his hand.
Yumichika almost choked on his green tea. Was the 6th division taichou smiling widely at him and waving happily while carrying Rukia on his shoulder? I don't go to the party and I still get caught up in the mess? "Um, Kuchiki-taichou, what are you doing here?"
"Make-over!"
"Oh really?" He didn't know whether to be excited or extremely disturbed. "Right this way." Yumichika had a passion. He loved to fight, oh yes, 11th division loves to fight of course, but he wanted to be head of a salon. He called it "The Sunset Peacock Beauty Parlor" and it was underground. If the captain found out, he would be in so much pain and misery. He even made matching bibs for customers. "Right this way please. Four customers?" Squee, I sound professional.
Rukia slipped out of Byakuya's arm and crawled down the steps. "I have a strange feeling about this Renji..."
"Who doesn't?" He massaged his scalp. I'm not balding. I'm not even old yet. It's the tattoos...
Ukitake fingered around with his own white hair. It's a sickness thing. I don't have a problem...
"Please step inside and I'll do your hair extravagantly!" Yumichika smiled.
"I sense something's coming," Ukitake's spine tingled.
--
(A/N: Thank you stuck-in-a-tree for the correction!)
