Chapter 6.

"Princess, he's going for the living room. Lead Taguahead to Tuberculosis right away. Graffiti-face will be lead by FOB. Kaien, you will be waiting by the kitchen. Over."

"I'm heading for Renji..."

"Eh-hem. Over."

"I mean, I'm heading for Graffiti-face...over I guess..."

Rukia felt like she was being followed. She turned around and saw that no one was there. "Someone's there, I know it. I hope it's not nii-sama." Rukia turned around again to see Hanatarou in a Godzilla stance.

"Rukia-san, uh please come with me," He meekly walked away, beckoning Rukia to follow. "Princess has captured the Tagua, over," Hanatarou whispered.

Rukia raised an eyebrow.

--

Rukia found herself with Ukitake and Renji who was being hauled over by Ganju. "Ukitake-taichou, what's the meaning of this?"

"I haven't a clue. By the way Rukia, have you any white paint?"

"Let go of me, you crazy...oh hey Rukia, Captain Ukitake. Uh Hanatarou? What are you doing?" Renji asked. "This seems kinda off."

"We have the three monkeys, King, now what do we do? Over." Hanatarou talked into his bluetooth. A little buzz came from the other end. "Right, over. Um, Tagua...I mean, Rukia-san, will you come with me, and also Ukitake-taichou and Abarai-san must follow too. Thank you."

He led the company into the kitchen where Orihime was shooed out of the closed area. All that was left was a very uncomfortable Ichigo in under-eyelash accessories and paint all over his head. Ukitake, Rukia, and Renji stared at Ichigo.

Quickly Hanatarou jumped in front of the three. "Ah-ha, you three, there's your friend, Shiba Kaien!"

Rukia looked at her captain for answers, but he didn't know what to say. "Um Kurosaki, what on earth are you doing?"

Byakuya jumped down from the ceiling and held a spoon at them. "Abort 'Plan A'! They know, they know! Switching to 'Plan B: Full frontal assault!' Over!" He took out Senbonzakura and his fork and ran towards the scared shinigami. Hanatarou took out his fondue stick and handed Ganju a cheese-grater. Ichigo hesitantly revealed a pizza cutter from under his robe.

"Ah! It's nii-sama again!" Rukia screamed.

"Quickly gouge out their left testicle and breast!"

"What!" Renji screamed. He took Rukia and Ukitake and started to run, being chased by Byakuya, Ganju, Hanatarou (drunk with power) and Ichigo/Kaien, with kitchen utensils in hand...lusting for left testicles and left breasts.

--

"Please stop this madness, Byakuya!" Ukitake pleaded. He was one inch away from being poked in the butt with a fondue stick. "Why do you torture us so?"

"Because it's getting kind of fun," Ganju replied.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it! Rukia cried, trying to dash away from the "weapons". Ichigo decided that he should at least scare her a bit for all the stuff he had to go through while trying to rescue Rukia from execution.

"Chire, Senbonzakura-chan! Dice their weak spots!" Sharp petals dispersed into the air and went for them. Renji dived behind the couch with Rukia and Ukitake. They held their swords over their heads.

"Hello, Rukia-san, Renji-kun, Ukitake-san," Orihime smiled.

"Why are you here?"

"I was shooed out of the kitchen by Kurosaki-kun and the others. I was afraid that Kuchiki-san was going to poke me with that fork so I left. So, is he after you three?"

"He's been torturing us all day long!" Renji cried. "Why did he have to drink that little amount of alcohol in the first place!"

"It's all my fault!" Rukia weeped. "I pressured him to drink it! I said it was spicy!"

"It's my fault!" Ukitake moaned. "I told him to drink because it was his birthday! I wanted to see him drunk!"

"It's my fault..." Orihime sighed. "I should've never made that spicy sake in the first place. This whole house smells like sake and vomit now...!"

"Haha, you ghosts! I'm going to vanquish you and save Soul Society!" Byakuya poked his head from the other side of the couch. "Here's King!" The petals shot at the four with their eyes wide open. They started to run away from Senbonzakura, but reached a dead end in the hallway.

"Someone's gotta tell the construction workers to not make damn dead ends in a house," Renji bitterly said. In front of them Byakuya and the rest were creeping up to them, waving around their utensils.

"End of the line, you ghosts! We will kill you all for threatening the world that these peaceful civilians live in. Surrender, before we gouge out your privates!"

"We surrender, nii-sama, just don't torture us anymore and get sober!"

"...Um, I wasn't expecting you three to surrender so easily. So instead, we'll go along with the plans! Dice them, my comrades!" Byakuya pointed that them.

Ichigo and Ganju stared at Byakuya. "I think we should stop here, Byakuya," Ichigo shifted from foot to foot. "We shouldn't you know, gouge their privates out. That's just wrong."

"He's right, right Hanatarou? Hanatarou?"

Hanatarou was against Ukitake and trying to poke him in the lower area. Thankfully, Ukitake could hold him up by his head since he was so puny.

"Hanatarou," Ganju called. "Game's over, I wanna go back to the living room now!"

Hanatarou faced them and smiled evilly. "Why stop? With this, we could conquer all ghosts, then Seireitei, then Soul Society, then the world!" Hantarou laughed maniacally waving around his fondue stick. "I could even get my own anime series and have fanfiction that features only me in different romantic positions! Come let us kill off these traitors! Ow..."

Ichigo smacked Hanatarou on the head unconscious. "Come Ganju, we're leaving."

"You can't leave me!" Byakuya cried, "We still have work to do. These ghosts will rampage! Come Seireitei Superheroes!"

"Kuchiki-san, what did you say about ghosts?" Orihime asked.

Byakuya turned around. "You three are ghosts, trying to destroy the world and with your accomplice, booby-chan. And well, the squirrels are involved too because they...are...spawns of the demon lord...you know."

There was silence. Ichigo came back and bumped Byakuya's head with Hanatarou's skull. "Come on guys, let's get out of here." The rest nodded and Renji pulled his captain's body into an empty room. He made sure the door was locked.

"Is the day over yet?" Rukia whimpered.

--

(A/N: I put the names of everyone in a bag and I'll probably pull out random three for Byakuya to demolish. Yes. Oh and thank you for reviewing everyone!)