Chapter 20: Kinship

Bucky emerged from his latest arm therapy session to see Steve leaning against the wall in the hallway.

"You ready to blow this joint?" Steve asked with a light slap on Bucky's shoulder.

"Yep."

He followed Steve into the hallway, heading toward the elevator. "So, what's up with the Hydra holdout?"

Steve glanced over at him as they stopped in front of the elevator. "Vision has been monitoring, gathering intel and evidence. We're ready to move forward."

"When?" Bucky asked.

Steve nodded. "Tomorrow."

"Oh." Bucky ran a finger along the cartilage inside his ear. He couldn't quite reach the healing incision. "How many inside?"

"There were twelve. Two were taken out somehow. That leaves ten, including the remaining super soldier."

Damn. "Tanaka."

"You know him?"

Bucky looked over at Steve. "I helped test and train them after he and the others were given the serum. Only Josef could take me, and he's dead, right? Killed by the future version of myself? The fact that Hydra activated those five tells us how desperate they are. They put them in deep freeze after a training session where they killed everyone except one guard who ordered me to get him out. They were violent before the serum. Afterward, they were worse, unstable, just as likely to kill Hydra agents as their targets."

"Well, that explains the two dead Hydra agents we saw them carting out," Steve said.

Bucky took a breath. "You're going in?"

"Yes, with the others. We can take them."

"I know." Bucky turned to look at Steve. "We started this together, taking out Hydra and Nazi bases back in the 40s. Let's finish it together."

Surprise flickered over Steve's face. "You want to join the operation? Walk into a Hydra base?"

Bucky raised his metal arm. "I'm not thrilled about that last part, but yeah. I've got a vibranium arm and a new set of ear protectors. They've been after me. It's my turn to go after them. Besides," he tilted his head, "who else has been watching your back since before you became Captain America?"

Steve smiled and clasped Bucky on the shoulder, giving him a firm squeeze. "You got it, buddy."

-0- -0- -0-

"You're glued to me, got it?" Steve told Bucky as they crouched low on the perimeter of the Hydra base.

It looked like a run-down shack, out in the middle of a field, a mile from the nearest road. Like other Hydra bases, Vision confirmed this one was mostly underground.

"Well, I didn't know you were into that kinky stuff, but okay," Bucky grinned at him.

Steve tilted his head in exasperation and tapped his ear.

Natasha's voice filled the air. "Rogers? Not a kinky bone in that body."

Steve blushed.

Bucky cleared his throat and mouthed, 'Sorry.'

"Vision? Tony?" Steve got to business. "Are you in position?"

"Ready to infiltrate," the English voice replied.

"Visual link confirmed," Tony acknowledged.

Bucky adjusted the rifle hanging across his chest and took a steadying breath. Ten Hydra agents against the Avengers should be a cake walk, but he knew from experience not to underestimate Hydra.

He calmed his mind. The familiar shadow of decades of conditioning and missions settled into his body. The Soldier was still there, waiting, ready. This time, he controlled the Soldier, and it was aimed at Hydra.

"On my mark," Steve's voice echoed in duplicate—beside him and in his ear. "Three…two…one."

They heard the chaos of the first wave—Vision and Stark—as they surged forward. Vision's objective was to infiltrate using his noncorporeal abilities and neutralize Tanaka first, then prevent Hydra from destroying evidence, whether paper or electronic. They wanted all the secrets Hydra had left.

Steve crashed through the door in time to see two Hydra agents emerge from a raised panel in the floor that revealed a staircase leading below.

Bucky aimed his rifle. "Hands up. Don't move. You know I don't miss." The goal was to capture if possible. The Avengers had rules that Hydra didn't.

The two men froze, their eyes locked on him. Being recognized was part of his strategy. If he let his reputation precede him, maybe he wouldn't have to kill anyone.

Natasha came from behind and secured the men, taking them outside.

"All clear from above," Sam's voice said in their ear.

"Found three heat signatures in the tree-line. Neutralized," Tony Stark's report came through. "Vision, I'm heading your way." Then. "Belay that. Checking something out."

Bucky spared a glance at Steve as they headed to the stairs. If their count was right, that left only five. Vision should have already neutralized…

"Tanaka is heading your way, Captain." Vision informed them. "My apologies, but there has been an unexpected development."

"You can say that again," Tony's voice interceded.

Bucky had no time to react before he heard fast, heavy footsteps on the stairs. He slid to the side of the stairwell opening. The footsteps stopped a foot below. Bucky could hear the man's breathing.

Tanaka was there, waiting for them. Bucky gripped his rifle and glanced at Steve. Steve sent the shield sailing through the opening and Bucky launched himself after it, rifle in front of him.

The shield connected with Tanaka, sending him crashing down the stairs to the floor below. Bucky landed on his feet a foot from the fallen man, then grabbed the shield and spun it up to Steve.

Tanaka surged upward as the shield left Bucky's hand, wrapping his hand around the rifle, and barreling forward. Bucky ended up on his back, the muzzle of the rifle bent and useless. A low growl left his throat as he pushed his vibranium palm into the soldier's gut and felt the kickback from the repulsors.

Tanaka flew upward, slamming into the ceiling, and Bucky rolled out of the way as he came back down. The sound of an explosion roared upstairs, and Bucky glanced at the stairs briefly. He heard Steve in his ear, barking orders. Steve was okay.

Tanaka was stunned only a moment before springing to his feet, but Bucky was faster, slamming his metal fist into the side of the man's head. At the last minute he pulled his punch, attempting to disable, not kill. The force wasn't quite enough, and Tanaka shook it off, a gun suddenly in his hand. Bucky barely had time to raise his metal hand when Tanaka fired. Two bullets bounced off the hand. A third whizzed past Bucky and landed in the far wall.

Steve landed with a thud behind the soldier and slammed the edge of his shield into the side of Tanaka's head.

"What took you so long?" Bucky asked.

The man crumpled to the floor. He was stunned, not out.

"Oh, you know," Steve cocked his head. "Traffic."

Bucky raised his eyebrows and took a steadying breath. "I had him on the ropes, you know."

Steve's face broke into a bright smile. "Of course."

Tanaka looked up at them, blood coating the right side of his face. "Idi k chertu!" he cursed, then launched upward.

Bucky spun out of the way, landing behind Tanaka and using his vibranium arm to send the other soldier careening face-first into the concrete wall. It cracked from the impact. Tanaka crumpled to the floor, motionless.

Bucky sighed and knelt next to the man, putting his flesh fingers on the side of Tanaka's neck. "Well, he's alive."

"Cap," Tony's voice was in their ear. "We've got a situation. All's secure. FRIDAY already called it in."

Steve put a hand to his ear. "What is it, Tony?"

There was a sigh over the comm. "Vision's unexpected development. Looks like Hydra's recruiting."

Vision's voice came on the line, "Captain Rogers, there's a door on the far wall where you are. If you'll kindly walk through it… calmly."

Steve cocked his head at Bucky then led the way through the door. Bucky followed, but almost plowed into Steve, who stopped suddenly two feet past the threshold.

"What the hell?" Bucky's gut twisted and a shiver ran up his spine as he stared at the mass of frightened children huddled in the corner near four Hydra agents who lay motionless on the floor.

Vision stood near the children, a calm, strong presence.

Bucky counted six minors he could see but thought there might be one or two smaller figures closer to the wall. The children were boys and girls, ranging in age from around five to early teens.

Bucky heard light footsteps coming down the stairs and Natasha's voice in his comm.

"What's up, guys? Coming down."

A moment later she stopped behind him. He heard the subtle catch in her breath when she spotted the children.

"Goddamnit." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Yeah," Tony's soft acknowledgment came through the comm. "FYI, they sent a weaponized drone earlier to destroy the evidence. I took it out."

-0- -0- -0-

Authorities on the way made it necessary for Bucky to return quickly to the Avenger's compound. He was officially dead, according to the U.S. Government, and it was best he remain that way for the time being. He and Vision left the others to finish clean-up and deal with the feds, EMTs, and social services.

Bucky sat in his room and watched the live ten o'clock news coverage. There were eight children in all, and authorities had identified three. Their names were being withheld.

It was late, and none of the Avengers other than Vision were back yet. Wanda had stayed back to hold down the fort and coordinate anything needed from HQ, so she was probably already asleep in her room. The complex was quiet, with minimal staff. Bucky tilted his head back and reviewed the mission.

It had felt right to be working for the greater good with Steve again, but seeing those children stopped him cold. He'd been Hydra, for a time, one of the monsters set loose to make victims of Hydra's enemies. The things he'd done, Pierce told him, shaped the century, helping Hydra grow stronger, infiltrating governments here and elsewhere. He hated Hydra.

Now, Hydra was weak, and so desperate they were rounding up children from who knows where—probably runaways, abuse cases, or victims of other human traffickers. Hydra played the long game. How many other children were out there in Hydra cells around the world, being slowly brainwashed into agents?

How many might be experimented on and turned into weapons like he was?

The day was catching up with him. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep. He saw their faces, the mother and her daughter with curly brown hair and dark eyes. He held the gun in his right hand, the barrel pointed toward them. The mother prayed, using her body to shield her daughter.

He woke to the sound of a gunshot that rang in his ears. For a moment, he saw their figures in front of him, huddled in the dim room. He froze, staring at the shadowy figures on the other side of the coffee table, the flickering images from the television the only light in the room.

The shadows faded, and he blinked, swallowed the lump in his throat, and stifled a sob.

"Romanoff is at the door."

FRIDAY'S voice nearly sent him bolting out of the recliner, his heart in his throat. He took a breath and glanced at the clock. 11:15 p.m. He scrubbed a hand over his face and got to his feet.

"Open the door, FRIDAY."

The door unlocked, and Natasha walked in. Her eyes were tired, and her shoulder-length red hair was a mess. Her black outfit was dusty in parts, and Bucky could just make out what looked like dried blood on the black leather sleeve of her right hand.

"Steve and Tony will be heading back soon," she said. "Everything's about wrapped up. I thought you might want an update."

Bucky nodded. "Yeah, thanks." He got two beers from the fridge, noticed his right hand was still shaking from the dream, and handed her a beer with his left hand.

"You okay?" she asked.

He nodded. "I should be asking you that. This has to bring up some… unpleasantness for you."

She leaned against the counter and took a sip of the beer, then set it down. "It's not like I haven't seen this before." She looked up at him. He towered over her. "Welcome to the team, by the way."

He shook his head and took a swig of his beer. He wasn't an Avenger. "I'm not on the team. This was a one-time deal."

"I don't know. You seemed to fit in pretty well."

"I can't be out there. If someone sees me…" They'll arrest me.

"We'll work all that out. We usually do," she told him. She picked up the beer and took another drink. "You got anything stronger than this, or should I go raid the lounge?"

He nodded. "Yeah." He grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet under the island, found a glass, and poured her a hefty shot.

"Thanks." She swigged it on one go.

He poured her another, then grabbed a glass for himself. "You need to talk about it?"

She took a sip of whiskey and stared at the flickering television. "After what happened with SHIELD and the helicarriers, I went back to Russia, tried to find my parents. I wonder how many of the children from tonight remember who their parents are."

Bucky studied her. She looked tired, deep into her soul. "You found their gravestones?" He remembered she'd mentioned that briefly before.

She nodded. "I think they were theirs. One had a name. The other didn't. I pulled some weeds, left some flowers."

"I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say, but he knew what it felt like to lose family.

She shrugged. "I have a new family now." She finished the whiskey and set the glass back on the island, then took a step closer to him. "You might consider joining the Avengers if you're going to be here a while."

"Even with the safeguards, I still have a Hydra bomb in my head." He looked at the space in front of the coffee table where those shadowy figures had coalesced earlier.

"You okay, Barnes?"

He felt her hand on his stomach and a shiver in his groin. He stumbled backward against the counter.

"What are you doing, Natasha?"

She was suddenly too close.

Instant regret washed over her face, and she took a step back. "Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."

She shook her head and turned toward the door.

"It's not you." He didn't know why he felt the need to reassure her. He wasn't even sure what was happening between them. "I haven't… I mean, I don't know if I'm misreading things here, but I just haven't, you know, with a woman, for a very long time…and then…only once."

He needed to shut his mouth.

She turned to face him, her eyebrows raised. "Come on?"

"It was the 40s." He didn't know why he was still talking, but he couldn't seem to shut up. "It was a different time. It's not that we didn't do it. We did. I just… I had dates, sure, but…I had three sisters, and…"

"You've only had sex once in almost a hundred years?"

"Consensually." He wanted to take the word back the moment it left his lips.

The flash of pity or whatever it was that touched Natasha's face turned him cold inside. He froze, staring at her, hearing the blood rushing in his ears.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm being inappropriate. I should have thought…" She headed toward the door.

He forced a breath as he watched her walk away. Now she saw him as some broken thing, and she was right. He was. Hydra broke too many things inside him. He let them.

"Natasha." He didn't want to be broken. "I'm not sure I'd be any good at it after… everything."

She gave him a soft, kind smile and walked back to him. Her hand touched the front of his shirt and her fingers snaked beneath the fabric and up toward his navel. A shiver ran through him. Her touch was like a feather. It had been a long time since he'd felt the gentle touch of warm skin against his own.

Her hands went to his pants. "How about we make this one all about you? You have full control. We can take it as slow as you want, and if you need to stop any time, just say so."

He looked down into her green eyes. There was no judgment in them. He felt small in her presence, despite having a good foot on her in height. He held his breath for a moment, then nodded.

Her fingers undid the zipper of his pants. A twist of anticipation shot from his groin into his gut. He groaned, realized he was trembling, still pushed against the kitchen counter. Then she pulled his pants down, lowered herself with them, her head in front of his boxers.

Her position brought flashes of memories he didn't want in his mind.

He shook his head. "Not that."

He reached down, gently grabbed her shoulders, and lifted her up. Then he leaned forward and covered her mouth with his own.

He thought of something horrible suddenly and pulled back. "Shit."

She tilted her head. "What?"

"FRIDAY, can you stop surveillance in here?"

Natasha's eyes went wide, then she smiled. "Oh, right."

"Already turned off the cameras," The AI said. "Have fun, you two."

He thought of something else. "I don't have a condom."

She grinned and slid her hand beneath the back waistband of his boxers and cupped his butt cheek. Things were coming online in his body that he hadn't felt in a long time. He bit his lower lip and leaned into her.

"I don't have a uterus," she said, "and I'm pretty sure your super soldier physiology precludes STDs. I'm willing to brave the risk if you are."

"Okay, then," he breathed, and kissed her again.

-0- -0- -0-

Bucky woke up to darkness and a pounding heart. He heard breathing next to him and felt warm skin against his. Every muscle in his body tensed until he remembered Natasha.

He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the dark room. The faint light came from the digital clock on the microwave. It was 3:04 a.m.

He stared up into the darkness and tried to drift back to sleep, but his mind wouldn't shut down. He wasn't sure what was happening between him and Natasha, whether she just wanted a one-night stand or something more. He didn't even know whether he should ask. He wasn't sure he wanted the answer.

He couldn't deny, though, that it felt good—after the surprise of waking up to another presence—to feel a soft, warm body next to his. It felt even better to know that Hydra hadn't broken him completely in that way.

As fell toward sleep, he jolted awake again. Shadows surrounded his bed. Some faces he could make out—his victims. The young Japanese man in the hotel who promised he hadn't seen anything. The father standing by a car door after strapping his son into a car seat moments earlier. The young girl in the hospital gown he'd let Hydra rape and torture. Howard and Maria Stark. Other faces remained in the shadows.

He swallowed hard. An ache settled in his gut. He needed to get out of bed, empty his bladder, and throw some cold water on his face.

The things around him weren't real. He eased himself off the mattress quietly. His eyes scanned the shadowy figures around him, but none moved. He was careful with his steps, navigating around the figures as he made his way to the bathroom. Halfway there, he took a breath and told himself they weren't real. He didn't need to avoid them.

He straightened his shoulders and walked straight toward the bathroom and through whatever shadows stood in his way. They vanished as he passed, and he felt nothing but air as he moved through them.

Yet the shiver down his spine kept his heart beating fast.

He made it to the bathroom and kept the lights off to avoid disturbing Natasha. The bathroom was free of the shadow figures from his past. He did his business quickly, washed his hands, and splashed cold water on his face. He gripped the edge of the sink and closed his eyes, breathing heavily.

He needed to get a hold of himself. He needed to beat whatever this was. People who hallucinated weren't let free. They were locked up for their own good.

Or for the safety of others.

Maybe he should let them lock him up if he was this far gone. What if these hallucinations started happening during the day?

He opened his eyes and steeled himself to make his way back to the bed. The roar of blood in his ears was almost deafening. In the living room, the shadows were gone except one, standing six feet away. He took a breath and walked through it.

Except it was solid, and it scared the hell out of him. The next thing he knew, the repulsors on his vibranium arm fired and he flew backward, slamming against the wall.

A woman's voice, "FRIDAY, turn on the lights!"

Brightness flooded the room, so suddenly that he blinked hard against it, and Natasha was on the floor, naked, staring up at him in shock.

"Jesus Christ." He sank to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest. He didn't dare go near her. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

She picked herself up, pulled the sheet off the bed, and wrapped herself in it, then extended an arm toward him. "I'm fine. Are you okay? What happened?"

He looked at her hand for a minute, his heart thudding in his chest, then tentatively reached out and grabbed it as he pushed himself to his feet. He spotted his boxers on the floor near the couch and quickly got into them, then sank onto the sofa and leaned forward, burying his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry. A dream. I…I sometimes wake up and see things." He squeezed his eyes closed. He sounded crazy. He knew what she had to do with that information.

"What kind of things?" He felt her weight next to him on the couch.

"Shadows, mostly. Victims of the Winter Soldier…" he took a shuddering breath. "…of me."

"Do they talk to you?"

"No."

"Do they move?"

"No."

"Waking dreams," she said.

He looked up at her. "What?"

"It's a common thing, but for your uncommon brain, they're probably more vivid, more disturbing. I had one once." She cocked her head. "What did Dr. Abodon say?"

He swallowed hard. "I haven't told him."

She sighed and leaned back against the couch. "You know that's what he's here for, right?"

"I thought I was crazy." He admitted. "I was afraid… they'd lock me up for good."

"You're not crazy, Barnes, at least not from where I sit."

He managed a shaky smile. "You know, we've had sex now, you can call me Bucky."

She chuckled. "I will if you stop calling me Romanoff."

He nodded. "Deal." He studied her for a moment. She seemed genuinely okay. "Nothing bruised or broken?"

She shook her head. "Just my pride. I heard your footsteps but barely saw you before you plowed through me."

He tilted his head back and gave a relieved sigh. "I'm glad it wasn't more serious. Maybe it's not a good idea, you spending the night."

"I'm not that fragile, Bucky. You tried to kill me three times, and that was when you were wide awake. I handled you then, I can handle the occasional bump in the night."

He looked at her. He could just see the tip of the scar from the bullet in her left shoulder above the edge of the sheet. That day beneath the underpass had been a close one for her, Steve, and Sam. By a miracle, all three survived the Winter Soldier.

"I'd apologize, but," he gave an exasperated shake of his head, "it would ring hollow. I didn't have a choice."

"I know."

"I am sorry I wasn't strong enough to stop them from turning me into this."

"Into that," she corrected. "You may still have the programming in your head, but you're not the Winter Soldier, anymore. And you weren't weak. I went through Hydra's red book. I know what it took to create the Winter Soldier." Her hand came up and cupped his jaw, her thumb tracing the line of his cheek. "Don't sell yourself short, James Buchanan Barnes." Then, she stood. "I'm going to go finish what I tried to start a moment ago. Go back to bed, get some sleep, and tomorrow, consider talking to Dr. Abodon."

He nodded as she turned and headed into the bathroom.

Author Note:

For those of you who wanted Bucky/Natasha, know that this story was already written, and since I'm not terribly into most ship or slash, I had not intended to get these two (or anyone) together. However, the story went that way. For those who aren't into ship, don't worry, it doesn't take over the story. For those who LOVE ship, well, I hope you enjoy the story, anyway :) It's been fun reading comments with people's hopes and guesses having already written 98% of the story. Keep those comments coming. I love hearing from you!