Schmoopy Sirius/Remus for sure. Inspired by Cowboy Junkies' "Darkling Days".

TITLE: Darkling Days

PAIRING: Sirius/Remus

RATING: PG-13

WORD COUNT: 532

"The beautiful is not chosen.
The chosen becomes beautiful"
-Darkling Days by Cowboy Junkies

Sirius Black was, without a doubt, gorgeous, handsome, drop-dead sexy, and a load of fun on top of that. Remus wasn't the only one who knew that. The whole school knew that. Sirius had his own little fanclub of first years that fought constantly over the right to stand near him at Quidditch matches, or sit within a table of him at meals.

In fifth year, when Sirius had realized that younger students were actually paying others to give up their seats in his vicinity, he had suggested that he, James, Remus, and Peter start selling the seats themselves, but Remus had put his foot down and declared it prostitution before it got too far.

Silently, following his friends and smiling, Remus was jealous. He had a gentle nature for most of the month, and jealousy wasn't like him, but it was always there, smirking at him, daring him to lose control and voice his true thoughts.

And his true thought was that he madly loved Sirius Black in all his beauty and danger, and that he did not deserve him. No one vied to sit next to Remus, much less paid for the privilege, not even Sirius, who was content to let him sit on the other side of the hall as long as he didn't act angry or put out or sad.

Remus felt that he walked through his relationship with Sirius Black like a convict walking inexorably to receive the Dementor's Kiss. At any moment, this tranquil hallway might end, and he would find himself alone. Sirius was the very spirit of life itself, in all its vibrancy, and Remus knew a scarred, barely human boy could never hold him.

For fifth year, and then sixth as well, Remus clung desperately to every kiss, whisper, or brush of fingers that Sirius gave him, and watched the way Sirius looked at him change.

Sirius had always looked at him in the same way as James, and occasionally Peter, when they were children. There was a smile, and a sparkle, and a relaxed look of casual rightness. Now, Remus worried that Sirius would wrinkle prematurely, because he often looked at Remus and his browns drew together, forming three little creases.

Part of Remus encouraged those wrinkles to mar him, ever so slightly.

And sometimes there would be this very odd look to him, a bit like the old smile, but he was looking through Remus, or over him, on into him instead.

That was how Remus knew he would lose him- he looked like a man in love.

The next night after Remus realized this, he clung to Sirius more than ever, though he knew he shouldn't. Clinging would only make it hurt more when they tore apart.

Then Sirius stopped what he was doing, and slowly stroked Remus' face. "God," he whispered. "You're beautiful."

Remus jerked his head back like a shied horse. "W-what? No." He grabbed Sirius' hand. "Don't… Don't lie to me."

"You are beautiful," Sirius said confidently. "Not because of how your face looks or the way you smile. Because you're mine."

Sirius was beautiful, and also rather smart, but he would never understand why Remus wept.