Chappie 2!
Hogwarts Spirit Week
A/N: Once again, I am back! Thank you very much to Spoongirl1 and i like black stuff for reviewing! You guys are the greatest!
This idea came to me while I was trying to fight off insomnia last night. I hope you like it. My friend (aka i like black stuff) helped me write this at lunchtime today. Well actually I wrote it and she gave me a few ideas.
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, or any related trademarks or indicia, would I be writing fanfiction?
(Sorry I didn't put in a disclaimer last time)
So, without further ado, to the story! Hogwarts Spirit Week!
Hyper squirrel: One day, at breakfast, Dumbledore stood up.
Dumbledore: 2,4,6,8! That's the way we... ummm... something that rhymes with 8!
Harry: Oh no here we go again
Dumbledore: 2,4,6,8, that's the way we-
McGonagall: ahem
Dumbledore: sorry, Minnie
McGonagall: ahem
Dumbledore: is that all you know how to say?
McGonagall: ahem
Dumbledore: Maybe I should get on with the announcement.
Hyper squirrel: McGonagall was nodding her head in the background.
Dumbledore: Might I say how deliciously tempting you young boys look today- I mean, uhm
Hyper squirrel: You perverted fool!
Dumbledore: Ah yes. On to the announcement.
Hyper squirrel: at the Gryffindor table, three girls (A/N: that's me, I like black stuff, and my friend weirdo) started singing (A/N: the lyrics are in capitals)
ANNOUNCEMENTS ANNOUNCEMENTS ANNOUNCEMENTS BALONEY BALONEY BALONEY WE HAD A COW WE LOST OUR COW WE HAVE NO NEED FOR YOUR BULL NOW A TERRIBLE WAY TO DIE (at this the three girls stomped their feet) A TERRIBLE WAY TO DIE (foot stomp, again) A TERRIBLE WAY TO BE TAUGHT TO DEATH A TERRIBLE WAY TO DIE (A/N: If you're in Scouts, you might get this. If you're in the 53rd Wpg Scouts, you'll definitely get it. Sorry- it's just a song we sing whenever someone says "announcements")
Dumbledore: Thank you for that inspiring performance, girls.
Hyper squirrel: Everybody clapped.
Dumbledore: Hogwarts will be having a spirit week, starting on Monday, which is Crazy Hair Day.
Hyper squirrel: Immediately the girls started giggling madly and whispering excitedly.
Dumbledore: However, this will use magic, so I expect your hair to be really CRAZY! Like me!
Hyper squirrel: The giggling and whispering stopped.
Dumbledore: Tuesday is Pajama Day. (starts drooling)
McGonagall: ahem
Hyper squirrel: Hagrid came, pushed up Dumbledore's jaw and wiped off his drool. Dumbledore continued.
Dumbledore: Wednesday is Tropical Day. Thursday is Gender Bender, aka D- Day.
McGonagall: ahem
Hyper squirrel: D-Day? You're wack.
Dumbledore: Wiggidy wack? (A/N: Inside joke sorry)
Hyper squirrel: Nope, just regular type. (A/N: Inside joke sorry)
Dumbledore: Aw well. D-Day stands for Drag Day.
Hyper squirrel: immediately the whole student population of Hogwarts started laughing. Hard. Me included, even though I don't go to Hogwarts, I just narrate. Wait a minute, that contradicts what I just said a minute ago. Please continue without me while I sort out this mess.
Dumbledore: Friday is Gay Day! My personal favorite.
Hyper squirrel: and so began... Hogwarts Spirit Week. (dun dun dun) Monday dawned bright and early. Ah screw that line. Later, in the Great Hall...
Dumbledore: stands up quite suddenly MY DEPENDS ARE LEAKING!
Hyper squirrel: And with that he ran out, clutching his Depends.
McGonagall: stands up quite suddenly ahem ahem ahem ahem!
Hyper squirrel: Translation: SAME WITH MY TAMPAX! And with that she ran out, clutching her Tampax.
Harry: Oh look, everybody's hair is crazy.
Ron: Nice one, Captain Obvious.
Harry?
Ron: You stated the obvious.
Harry: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
Hermione: Good Lord save me.
Harry's hair: Bubbles bubbles bubbles bubbles bubbles bubbles bubbles bubbles bubbles!
Harry: Stupid crazy hair...
Ron: Well, Harry, it is Crazy Hair Day.
Harry: Nice one, Captain Obvious.
Ron?
Harry: You stated the obvious.
Ron: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
Hermione: Woah, déjà vu... scary.
Harry & Ron???
Hermione: It's like I've seen this before... but where?
Hyper squirrel: Up your ass and around the corner! Tee hee hee! The next day was Tuesday.
Harry: Nice one, Captain Obvious.
Hyper squirrel: Thank you. You are so kind. I did not expect such flattery when I started writing this story.
Harry: WTF? It didn't work! You are too smart for your own good, hyper squirrel!
Hyper squirrel: I know.
Harry: You know? But how?
Hyper squirrel: Oh, everybody tells me that. My friend was actually saying "Doom on you" repeatedly like those dodos in the movie Ice Age. (A/N: Actually happened. I kid you not. ) and my teacher called me a genius. (A/N: also actually happened. I wrote out this French thingy in like two minutes because I completely forgot about it so I didn't use my dictionary or Bescherelle (French verb dictionary) and I got 99 on it and she called me a genius. She actually thought that I had copied it. But no, I wrote it myself. Sorry, I'm just rambling here.)
Harry: Ice age?
Hyper squirrel: it's new. You wouldn't understand, you pathetic excuse for a wizard. Back to the story. Tuesday was Pajama day. Everyone was wearing their pajamas.
Ron: Nice one, Captain Obvious.
Hyper squirrel: Thank you.
Ron: WTF? It didn't work! You are too smart for your own good, hyper squirrel!
Hyper squirrel: Oh I know.
Ron: You know? But how?
Hyper squirrel: Oh everybody tells me that. My friend was actually saying-
Hermione: Woah! Déjà vu... scary!
Ron & Harry???
Hermione: It's like I've seen this before, but where? Woah... déjà vu again! I'm freaking myself out here! (runs off screaming)
Hyper squirrel: What we need is Ritalin and leashes. (A/N: Daddy Day Care ringing any bells?) Wednesday was Tropical day. Everyone was dressed in Hawaiian fashions. Hermione, on the other hand, had forgotten. So she made up an alibi for just wearing muggle capris and a t-shirt.
Hermione: I was going to Edmonton, but got on the wrong plane and so am in Hawaii and I plan to spend my time in Hawaii in air-conditioned areas.
Hyper squirrel: RIIIIIIIIGGGGHHT...
Harry: Like my sarong, Ron? Hey, that rhymes!
Ron: It's sexy!
Hermione: Oh my god, these Hawaiians are all gay! (whispers to Harry and Ron) Gay Day is Friday, dumbasses!
Harry & Ron: Oops...
Harry: like my sarong, Ron? Hey, that rhymes!
Ron: it's sexy!
Hermione: déjà vu!
Hyper squirrel: The next day was possibly the best day of the week. Ah, the joys of D-day.
Harry: (dressed up as McGonagall) I'm a strict old teacher who can't say anything but ahem! Uh, I mean…ahem!
Ron: (dressed up as Trelawney) Oh no dear boy, you will die because I predict somebody's death every year, and this year its you!
Hermione: (dressed as Dumbledore) 2,4,6,8, that's the way we... uhmm..., something that rhymes with 8! MY DEPENDS ARE LEAKING!
Harry: I'm a strict old teacher who can't say anything other than ahem! Uh, I mean, ahem!
Ron: oh no dear boy, you will die because-
Hermione: Oh no déjà vu (runs off screaming) MY DEPENDS ARE LEAKING
Hyper squirrel: Bring on the Ritalin and leashes!
(three random people come out carrying pill boxes and leashes)
hyper squirrel: You people are so kind...
Random person: You want fries with that?
Hyper squirrel: yes please.
Random person: yes ma'am right away ma'am
Hyper squirrel: WHERE ARE MY FRIES YOU PROMISED ME FRIES BRING ME- ahh, that's better. (mutters) kids these days, can't even get good service anymore...
(random person leaves)
hyper squirrel: ok, here Harry, take these pills... that's it... now we slip the leash over your head... HEEL, BOY, HEEL! (dragged off down hallway screaming)
(random people come out and give Ron & Hermione their Ritalin, put on their leashes, and are dragged away in turn just like hyper squirrel was.)
hyper squirrel: (dusting off clothes) ok, now Friday was gay day. And might I say, I'm not going to name any names but some of you were not acting. (stares pointedly at Harry & Ron)
Harry & Ron: Not us! OH no! We are straight! Yes! (walk off)
Ron: (in a voice that he thinks is quiet enough that hyper squirrel can't hear) where was that broom closet again, Harry?
Harry: (loudly) This way to the potions classroom, Ron! Yes, the potions classroom...
Ron: But Harry, I thought we were going to a broom closet!
Harry: We are ! (sees hyper squirrel staring) uhm... Gotta go! Bye!
Hyper squirrel: ok, so that's the end of Hogwarts Spirit Week!
Hermione: omigod! Déjà vu! runs off screaming MY DEPENDS ARE LEAKING!
Hyper squirrel: Hey Hermy, D-Day was YESTERDAY!
A/N: so how did u like chappie 2? It was really fun to write, and I hope its fun to read. Ah who am I kidding. Just laugh. Now. Or I will be forced to end your pathetic existence. Rating change because of the Depends, Tampax, and Gay themes. Sorry! You know the drill- R&R! And always remember, with my stories,
FLAMES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!
