A/N: Hello again! Thanks to everyone who reviewed (if anyone did, that is). I hope you enjoyed Hogwarts Spirit Week. Ah, the joys of D-Day... Today's chapter is called The Rabid Monkey. It's a strange fic. I wrote it partially during lunch at school today. Oh, how I love to torture Harry & friends... and incorporate marshmallows and Dumbledore the cheerleader into every chappie...

Disclaimer: bursts out crying WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I do not own Harry Potter. sobs I only own the stuff I made up.

And now, The Rabid Monkey! Starring me!

Hyper squirrel: One day, Harry Potter was walking through the Forbidden Forest, humming Madonna's Like A Virgin.

Harry: I was not!

Hyper squirrel: Oh yes you were. Remember? hypnotizes Harry with a large pocketwatch

Harry: yes... sings I made it through the wilderness...

Hyper squirrel: points wand Harry Silencio! Harry shuts up Anyway, he was walking through the forest when he saw a strange sight. There was a monkey running towards him, foaming at the mouth.

Harry: woah... do you have rabies?

Rabid Monkey: hahaha yes

Hyper squirrel: I decided to make Harry fear for his life. I muttered a few words, and suddenly, the monkey was holding a large marshmallow in his paws.

Harry: NOOOOOOOO!

Hyper squirrel: The rabid monkey started chasing Harry through the forest. Harry takes off running, rabid monkey follows him

Rabid Monkey: making random monkey noises

Hyper squirrel: Harry ran as fast as he could. Suddenly, the rabid monkey turned into a giant marshmallow, making a squishing noise as it sqwooshed after Harry. Harry fainted.

Harry: xx

Hyper squirrel: The marshmallow turned into Albus Dumbledore. Aka a cheerleader.

Dumbledore: 2,4,6,8, that's the way we...umm... something that rhymes with 8!

Hyper squirrel: Harry, woke up, scared, and was whisked off into the Hogwarts Castle by Dumbledore. The end.

Harry: wakes up That's not how it happened and you know it!

Hermione: Woah! Déjà vu! runs off screaming MY DEPENDS ARE LEAKING!

Hyper squirrel: Hey, Hermy, D-Day was LAST week!

Harry: That's not how it happened!

Hyper squirrel: Do you want me to have to torture you?

Harry: torture me? How?

Hyper squirrel: reaches into pocket, pulls out bag of Jet-Puffed Marshmallows

Harry: You wouldn't dare!

Hyper squirrel: Watch me.

Hermione: Woah... déjà vu! runs off screaming MY DEPENDS ARE LEAKING!

Hyper squirrel: Well... now that she's gone... grins evil, maniacal grin

Harry: I don't like the looks of that grin...

Hyper squirrel: laughs evil, maniacal laugh

Harry: I don't like the sounds of that laugh...

Hyper squirrel: throws marshmallows Harry

Harry: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A/N: Well, that's the end of chappie 3! Please review! Thanks again to I like black stuff for aiding me in the writing of Harry's sad life. And always remember...

FLAMES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!