A/N: Wow, two chappies in one day. This one is a personal favorite of
mine, the idea came to me when I was eating dinner the other night and a
telemarketer called. And thus, Harry Potter and the Call of the
Telemarketer was born!
Disclaimer: Anyone who thinks that I own Harry Potter can go to St. Mungo's for a reality check.
Here it is- The story!
Harry Potter and the Call of the Telemarketer
Hyper squirrel: one day, Harry was sitting in his room on a chair doing absolutely nothing. Well actually he was making up stories in which he was the hero, Ron was the love interest, and Dumbledore was, well, himself. Aka a cheerleader. Absolute drivel.
Harry: blushing No I wasn't!
Hyper squirrel: You're blushing.
Harry: blushing a deeper red No!
Hyper squirrel: Beet red...
Harry: Urgh! You are so annoying!
Hyper squirrel: Marshmallows anyone?
Harry: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! cowers under chair
Hyper squirrel: Thought so. Now, Harry was making up his stories when suddenly, his Uncle Vernon called up the stairs.
Uncle Vernon: Boy! The telephone's for you! mutters darkly though who would be calling you I haven't a clue...
Hyper squirrel: Harry went and picked up the phone.
Harry: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, Mr. Potter. My name is Jane. May I interest you in a new broom?
Harry: Um, no thanks, I've got a Firebolt.
Jane: Oh you have have you? Well, why don't you just go and take another look at your... Firebolt...
Harry: Umm... okay...
Hyper squirrel: Harry went up to his room and looked at his Firebolt. It was standing in the corner, smoking some pot.
Harry: Firebolt?! I thought you loved me!
Firebolt: Dude, you are so totally yesterday.
Harry: What??!!
Firebolt: That's what I said, dude. I've got a new friend now. Her name is...Jane. Ringing any bells, Mr. Potter?
Harry: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Firebolt: Jane is a... dare I say it... oh, I can't help it... marshmallow.
Harry: sits down on his bed and cries while his Firebolt flies out the window, still smoking pot
Hyper squirrel: Harry sat there and cried for a few hours before he remembered Jane.
Harry: Oh no! I've forgotten about Jane!
Hyper squirrel: He ran down the stairs to the phone.
Harry: Jane? Are you still there?
Jane: Indeed I am, Mr. Potter.
Harry: You did something to my Firebolt didn't you?
Jane: Oh crap...he's figured me out... and they told me you were an idiot, boy!
Harry: huh? What are you talking about?
Jane: Oh no! Mr. Potter, look behind you! There's a giant marshmallow!!
Harry: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hyper squirrel: Harry turned around to fend off the marshmallow, and Jane took that opportunity to hang up. Good on you, Jane!
Harry: Hey! I thought you were on my side!
Hyper squirrel: Ha! Your side? I'm with Jane on this one.
Harry: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!1
Hyper squirrel: I'm off to go visit my friend, Jane. But here's a parting gift for you, Harry... hands Harry small box wrapped in Christmas paper with Golden Snitches on it
Harry: OH thank you hyper squirrel! opens package NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!! A MARSHMALLOW!!!!
Hyper squirrel: Ha! Told you I could make him say it! Fork it over, Hermy!
Hermione: forks over a large bag of Galleons, muttering darkly all the while
Harry: Hermione?! I thought you were on my side!
Hermione: ha! Your side? That's a good one! falls over laughing MY DEPENDS ARE LEAKING!
Hyper squirrel: Hey Hermy, D-Day was two chappies ago!
A/N: so how'd you like this chappie, eh? Can you tell I'm a Canuck? (Canadian, for those of you stupid Americans) have you ever noticed that Americans accuse us Canadians of saying "eh" all the time, but they say it more than we do? It's only those two hosers from SCTV who say "eh" all the time. Have you ever noticed that if you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, and yet when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window? Or how it can take one careless match to start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Sorry I'm just rambling here.
So you know the drill, R&R!! and remember,
FLAMES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!
Disclaimer: Anyone who thinks that I own Harry Potter can go to St. Mungo's for a reality check.
Here it is- The story!
Harry Potter and the Call of the Telemarketer
Hyper squirrel: one day, Harry was sitting in his room on a chair doing absolutely nothing. Well actually he was making up stories in which he was the hero, Ron was the love interest, and Dumbledore was, well, himself. Aka a cheerleader. Absolute drivel.
Harry: blushing No I wasn't!
Hyper squirrel: You're blushing.
Harry: blushing a deeper red No!
Hyper squirrel: Beet red...
Harry: Urgh! You are so annoying!
Hyper squirrel: Marshmallows anyone?
Harry: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! cowers under chair
Hyper squirrel: Thought so. Now, Harry was making up his stories when suddenly, his Uncle Vernon called up the stairs.
Uncle Vernon: Boy! The telephone's for you! mutters darkly though who would be calling you I haven't a clue...
Hyper squirrel: Harry went and picked up the phone.
Harry: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, Mr. Potter. My name is Jane. May I interest you in a new broom?
Harry: Um, no thanks, I've got a Firebolt.
Jane: Oh you have have you? Well, why don't you just go and take another look at your... Firebolt...
Harry: Umm... okay...
Hyper squirrel: Harry went up to his room and looked at his Firebolt. It was standing in the corner, smoking some pot.
Harry: Firebolt?! I thought you loved me!
Firebolt: Dude, you are so totally yesterday.
Harry: What??!!
Firebolt: That's what I said, dude. I've got a new friend now. Her name is...Jane. Ringing any bells, Mr. Potter?
Harry: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Firebolt: Jane is a... dare I say it... oh, I can't help it... marshmallow.
Harry: sits down on his bed and cries while his Firebolt flies out the window, still smoking pot
Hyper squirrel: Harry sat there and cried for a few hours before he remembered Jane.
Harry: Oh no! I've forgotten about Jane!
Hyper squirrel: He ran down the stairs to the phone.
Harry: Jane? Are you still there?
Jane: Indeed I am, Mr. Potter.
Harry: You did something to my Firebolt didn't you?
Jane: Oh crap...he's figured me out... and they told me you were an idiot, boy!
Harry: huh? What are you talking about?
Jane: Oh no! Mr. Potter, look behind you! There's a giant marshmallow!!
Harry: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hyper squirrel: Harry turned around to fend off the marshmallow, and Jane took that opportunity to hang up. Good on you, Jane!
Harry: Hey! I thought you were on my side!
Hyper squirrel: Ha! Your side? I'm with Jane on this one.
Harry: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!1
Hyper squirrel: I'm off to go visit my friend, Jane. But here's a parting gift for you, Harry... hands Harry small box wrapped in Christmas paper with Golden Snitches on it
Harry: OH thank you hyper squirrel! opens package NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!! A MARSHMALLOW!!!!
Hyper squirrel: Ha! Told you I could make him say it! Fork it over, Hermy!
Hermione: forks over a large bag of Galleons, muttering darkly all the while
Harry: Hermione?! I thought you were on my side!
Hermione: ha! Your side? That's a good one! falls over laughing MY DEPENDS ARE LEAKING!
Hyper squirrel: Hey Hermy, D-Day was two chappies ago!
A/N: so how'd you like this chappie, eh? Can you tell I'm a Canuck? (Canadian, for those of you stupid Americans) have you ever noticed that Americans accuse us Canadians of saying "eh" all the time, but they say it more than we do? It's only those two hosers from SCTV who say "eh" all the time. Have you ever noticed that if you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, and yet when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window? Or how it can take one careless match to start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Sorry I'm just rambling here.
So you know the drill, R&R!! and remember,
FLAMES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!
