A/N: Greetings again to all my readers! All...two? of you... yeah... thanks a lot, guys...breaks down crying oh well! Here's the chappie!

The words in between asterisks like this are Harry thinking and the words in between dollar signs $like this$ are Harry's conscience talking to him. All clear?

Readers: Clear as mud!

Hyper squirrel: good!

Hyper squirrel: Hey, Harry, whatcha doin'?

Harry: Nothing...

Hyper squirrel: Then come here and do the disclaimer.

Harry: (in a bored, textbook voice) hyper squirrel owns nothing that belongs to other people. Duh.

Hyper squirrel: Thank you Harry! Now on to the story!

Snape's New Hairstyle...s By hyper squirrel

Hyper squirrel: okay, potions class. Gryffindor & Slytherin. What will happen? Chaos, of course!

blah blah blah potions class is so boring blah blah blah

$don't you think you should be paying attention?$

AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! Who the frig are you?

$I, dear Harry, am your conscience.$

My conscience, eh? Is that why you were trying to get me to do something...good?

$Bravo Harry! I didn't think you were smart enough...$

Hey!

$Well it's true. Now why don't you pay attention and at least try to pass potions?$

I'd rather hit on Snape...

$Okay then$

(Snape comes over to Harry to check his potion)

$Here's your chance, Harry$

(Harry gulps)

Harry: Hey, Snapie baby, how ya doin?

Snape: MISTER Potter, that will be five points from Gryffindor!

Harry: That's cool wit me. Hey, the word of the day is legs. What say you we go back to my dorm and...spread the word?

Snape: MISTER POTTER! That will be another five points from Gryffindor! (whispers) See you at seven...

(Harry looks traumatized)

$There's only one way to get out of this, Harry...$

(Harry flicks his wand)

(Snape suddenly has an afro)

The Class: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

$That's not what I meant!$

(Harry flicks his wand)

(Snape suddenly has a mullet)

The Class: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

$You just don't get it, do you?$

Well, what do you suggest I do?

$Buy him an anchovy and pickle pizza. He'll hate you for life.$

That's a great idea! But do I have to buy it?

$Duh, Harry. You're a wizard. Do you think you have to buy it?$

no, I could just conjure one up...

$Now you're thinking sensibly! Well, sort of... $

Hey!

$Just conjure up a pizza!$

Snape: Class dismissed!

(Harry conjures up an anchovy and pickle pizza and leaves it on Snape's desk)

hyper squirrel: later that day...at lunch...

Snape: (runs up to Harry, hugs him) Oh, thank you so much for the pizza! How did you know it was my favourite?

Harry: Shit...

$Hit on him again...$

Harry: Did it hurt?

Snape: Did what hurt?

Harry: When you flew up from hell?

Snape: Oh, Harry! (sings) take off your clothes...I'll show you my hose...no one will know...because the doors will be closed...

Damn conscience...you have all the worst ideas. First you want me to pay attention, of all things, then you tell me to give him his favourite kind of pizza? And then you make it so he sings?

$Forgive me, Harry. Why don't you just not show up?$

Hey...that's a good idea...Wait a minute, I'm not falling for this again!

$Falling for what$

I am going to show up and that's final!

Hyper squirrel: Okay then Harry, you traumatize yourself there...I for one will NOT be there. (shudders) okay I think I will end the chappie here, because I don't really want to have to narrate what will happen. Later. Yuck...

A/N: so did you like? Next chappie...Draco goes ghetto, and Harry goes goth! And remember...

FLAMES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!

Ass-tronauts...