Ooh, Crowpaw's in a bad condition! I'm desperately trying for a reasonable explanation for Crowpaw to be angry – not easy, I assure you…

Just so I don't forget, here, Gorsetail and Thistlepaw, Robinwing's currently injured apprentice, are littermates, and Harespring and Kestrelflight are going to be Heathertail's littermates – with somebody who's usually viewed as OneWhite kits – no idea who it is, don't remember, but I'm sure it'll come to me soon

FreeEcho – Aw, thanks! I'm going to include positive LeafCrow mwahaha… extra development that was never in the books…


Nightpaw was bristling. Definitely. Crowpaw nervously ducked out of the way, nearly bumping into Darkfoot.

"Well," he coughed, "I'd be glad to let go of Nightpaw."

Crowpaw purred. "Is she that evil?"

"No, not evil. I'm just wanting to join the elders. My old bones…" He shook his head. "Shame Runningpaw twisted her ankle. The leg's dislocated, if I remember Barkface's words correctly. Dear, dear… Nightpaw's angry because Tallstar said she should wait for her. She has trained for a long time."

It had been two moons since the Gathering. Runningpaw should've been made warrior a while ago, with Gorsetail, but she'd dislocated it and it was getting quite severe, though Barkface insisted it was going fine.

"Just one day?" Nightpaw was snarling. "I've waited more than a year to get my name!"

"Sorry," Crowpaw snickered.

Nightpaw turned on him. "Shut up," she snarled. "You should get your name late. Oh – no, that won't be possible. After all, you don't have a father to help you comfort yourself." With a proud snort, she stalked away.

Crowpaw felt himself harden. Darkfoot was watching him nervously, and he mewed uncertainly, "Morningflower had been a queen when you were almost born. But she moved to the elders soon."

"She had kits?"

"Well, the first litter…" Darkfoot meowed, clearly feeling uncomfortable, as if he was regretting bringing up the subject. "That was unfortunate, and she was… quite depressed."

"What is it?"

"Please, Crowpaw. Don't–"

"Don't stick your nose into something you don't need to know?"

Darkfoot turned, his eyes narrowed.

"But you'll understand Morningflower's kits – oh, sorry, mistaken. I mean, no, you can! They didn't have a father growing up. Maybe–"

"Would you like your warrior ceremony delayed more?" Came a soft voice. "Runningpaw, I'd advise you to keep your mouth shut or I'll tell Tallstar – permanently."

Runningpaw stopped in her tracks. She was practicing walking, which she was quite good at now, and she had succeeded in the task of bringing a mouthful of moss to camp. She spat it down, and turned to meet her challenger. She stiffened. "Ashfoot."

"Yes, me," Ashfoot mewed pleasantly. "Did you hear me?"

"I… I did," Runningpaw muttered. "But…"

"Please take it into account before you start attacking cats with something they can't control."

Runningpaw swallowed. "I'm sorry," she muttered. She cast a wary glance at Crowpaw, and limped, only slightly, towards the elders' den.

"Soon it'll be me she'll – well, you, I suppose, Crowpaw – be getting moss to!" Darkfoot purred, and he rose. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah." Crowpaw mumbled gloomily. The rude comments about his father had been low – but it was rising once more. When would they stop it? When would they realize having a father wasn't everything? When would they realize Crowpaw was already aching, no need for their insults?

Perhaps they knew it already… yes, that must be it. They were trying to make Crowpaw feel bad… Maybe they were trying to stop Crowpaw from becoming a better warrior than them.

Glaring at the light gray tail, which was just disappearing inside the elders' den, he rose to his paws.

No! No one can stop me! I'd like to see somebody try from becoming the best warrior I can!

He cast a nervous glance at the warriors' den. Ashfoot was probably in there. Should he go inside, and apologize for his… not very pleasant thoughts and bitter thoughts about his father? It wasn't her fault. It wasn't anybody's fault but Tigerstar and BloodClan…

Resentment rose in him, but he pushed it down.

Should he talk with Ashfoot? Should he try to comfort her?

He wasn't ready yet.

But if you keep on like this, you'll never be ready, a small voice in the back of his mind said.

Crowpaw winced at the truth of those words.

"Come on up!" An excited voice woke Crowpaw.

Crowpaw yawned. "What is it?" he asked groggily, rubbing his eyes with his paws. When his vision cleared, he could see Whitetail. Her eyes had an excited flash in it, and she was thumping her tail on the ground impatiently, with her looking barely able to contain her excitement.

"What do you think it is, Crowpaw?" she purred. "Runningpaw and Nightpaw are receiving their names!"

Normally, Crowpaw would've been happy for them. Now? The fury at being woken up and the memory of the bullying dampened his mood. "Leave me alone."

"You have to wake up," Whitetail replied. "It's already noon. Did Mudclaw work you so hard–?"

Crowpaw jumped up. "No way! I slept that much?"

"Don't worry, I did too, and Onewhisker had to drag me out," Whitetail reassured. "Come on, now. Aren't you curious? Runningpaw's swift; maybe she'll be Runningbreeze? Nightpaw – well, she's… nasty, I suppose, snappy, maybe Nightclaw or Nightfang? Nightsnap won't hurt either."

Crowpaw looked up, incredulous that Whitetail would make fun of a Clanmate like that. But her eyes were twinkling with amusement, and Crowpaw realized she was trying to make Crowpaw feel better.

"But seriously," she mewed, "I'd say Nightpaw's name would involve her… fierce personality." Whitetail peered at the gathering cats. "Well, it's starting. Come on."

She scampered away, but Crowpaw didn't follow. He was planning on watching quietly.

The ceremonies were boring to Crowpaw.

"…you shall be known as Runningbrook…"

"…you shall be known as Nightcloud…"

Crowpaw only yowled congratulations for Runningbrook; she had been nice when Nightpaw and Gorsepaw taunted him. Although it was only twice. But still. It was nice to have friends around his age.

While the cats were yowling Nightcloud and Runningbrook's new names, Runningbrook's eyes met Crowpaw's. Her eyes softened for a second, and her chest puffed out proudly.

"How are you?"

Crowpaw jumped. "Ashfoot?" Guilty feelings overwhelmed Crowpaw, and he muttered, "I'm fine."

Ashfoot regarded him. "It doesn't seem so."

"I–"

"Go congratulate your friends, won't you?" Ashfoot asked. "Or… or are you not very close to them?" There was a definite sound of concern in her voice. "Whitetail told me–"

"Whitetail?" Crowpaw echoed angrily. Why was Whitetail spilling all things about him to Ashfoot? "Why did she tell you that?"

"I'm your mother, Crowpaw."

"Why didn't you notice it yourself?"

Ashfoot blinked.

"Why did Whitetail have to tell you?"

Nobody noticed the commotion.

Hot embarrassment was rising inside Crowpaw. Why did Whitetail have to expose embarrassing things to his mother? She was different. Ashfoot knowing was so different. Distinctly knowing that he wasn't fitting in well was one thing. But everyone in the Clan knowing?

They were going to whisper behind his back about him.

Ashfoot was going to show needless concern to him.

Well, no need.

He was always lonely, and he would be now.

Nobody was left in the apprentices' den.

"Crowpaw!" Ashfoot snapped.

Crowpaw stared at the ground. "I'm sorry."

"It's not an apology I want, I want an explanation. Why didn't you tell me you were–"

"You don't know! I just don't want to!" Crowpaw spat. He didn't want to apologize or explain; the fierce pride in him refused to step down. Feeling his fur bristle with anger, he stomped away.

He headed towards the bushes – out of camp. Somewhere where cats weren't there.

Why?

Why was his life so hard?

He pushed through this gorse bushes harshly, wishing he was somebody different. A better life.

Crowpaw suddenly heard a rustling of leaves, and he meowed loudly, "I can hear you!"

"You do," Whitetail's voice mewed softly.

"Yes, I do!"

"Are you okay?"

"No! Everyone's left, I'm alone…"

"No, Crowpaw, you should–"

"And everyone hates me!" Crowpaw exclaimed, feeling self-pity for himself more and more. "Seriously! Ashfoot hates me for me speaking my own opinion about Deadfoot, who's dead as his foot!"

"Crowpaw!" snapped Whitetail sharply. "Look at me. Turn around. Look at me." She said the last two sentences so forcefully, Crowpaw didn't even recognize her.

He stared at Whitetail. The small white she-cat didn't look so small now. She glared at him. "You're forgetting Emberpaw," she meowed calmly, "and who says everyone hates you?" Her voice softened. "I like you, Crowpaw. So does Onewhisker. Morningflower likes you, and Ashfoot does, too."

"Yeah, great help; no one's my age!"

"Runningbrook likes you. Gorsetail likes you. Emberpaw and you are in fine matters. And there is Thistlepaw, although he's injured..."

"We don't talk much, and he never stood up for me. And Thistlepaw? He's been stuck in the medicine den forever."

"Did you even look at him?" pressed Whitetail. "And it's not Thistlepaw's fault. Brr, those badgers are going overboard. Anyway, so?"

Crowpaw thought. No. "So am I pushing my own faults to somebody else?"

"Yes! I'm so pleased you know it," Whitetail snapped.

"Sorry, but–"

"You should, Crowpaw," meowed Whitetail. "You should apologize to Ashfoot, make healthy friendships, and try to be nice!"

"It's hard!" Crowpaw protested.

"It may be," Whitetail replied, "but you should try."

"It's easy for you, Whitetail, you were born nice. But I wasn't. Maybe I'm destined to be evil!"

"Don't say that!" Whitetail looked and sounded horrified. "Crowpaw, you're not going to be evil. You're just… bitter, but you can fix that. I mean, if you just–"

Crowpaw turned on her angrily. "I don't know Whitetail, leave me alone!"

"This won't solve any problems!" Whitetail called.

How dare she talk to him about being friendly? Sure, she was born like that. She probably made friends from the day she was born! Make friends with Emberpaw? The thought was just sick. How would he?

Every day in his life was an utter mess.