Teletubbies: Gone wild
Author's note: This is a co-written story, by Whyte Lilac and I. We don't own Teletubbies, Rated for foul language and use of drugs. Took us a bit of time to write this, because we got distracted by stupid flies, ice cream, and pictures.
R&R,
hamtaro123312 and Whyte Lilac
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It was a sunny day for the Teletubbies. Dispy rolled over in his crib and yawned. He felt some grab him, but didn't know what it was. It was LaLa, having
on of her horrendous hangovers. "BASTARD! WAKE UPPPP!" LaLa screamed facing away from Dipsy. As he sat up, he could tell that she was screaming at the
blinking buttons on the wall, next to the slide.
Dipsy growled, he hated when his beauty sleep was interrupted. "You dodo!" he shouted, chucking a pillow at the drunken Teletubbie's head ."Quit fucking
interrupting my fucking beauty sleep, you fucking son-of-bitch-transexual!" Dipsy yelled, obviously pissed. LaLa, who was now doing--I mean, trying to do--
pirouettes, caught Tinky Winky trying to get to the coffee first. She quickly ran towards it in her drunken state and shouted out gleefully. "I'll get it! I'll get
it!" Everyone then watched in slow-mo as the yellow creature ran towards the coffee pot with their eyes wide open. "Not the coffee! I need it! My dope is
in there!" Dipsy shouted, then ran after LaLa. What no one expected to happen was NooNoo tripping LaLa with his vaccuum hose. It was now LaLa's turn to
wake up. The Teletubbie slipped on the floor and fell face-down into the pot of dope-coffee. Then, a colorful string of curses were heard throughout the whole
building as the creature finally popped out of its drunken state. Unfortunately, the dope was getting to her, making her shouts slowly turn into unintelligible
slurs.
"Whuh efunuh huppo oh woah..." Was all Dipsy could make out from LaLa's slurs. NooNoo just stood--er, lied there. A grunt could be heard at the top of
the slide. Po came sliding down, with a couple of bags from some stores. "What's in the bag?" Tinky asked, finally waking up.
Po looked down at the thing he was on top of. "Fuck! What the hell! Did you guys kill her or something!" he shouted, giving Dipsy and Tinky Winky a
look accusingly. Tinky Winky shrugged and pointed to NooNoo, who then pointed at a pile of liquor bottles in LaLa's bed. "What's in the fucking bag
dammit!"
Dipsy cursed, mad at being woken up and not having his morning dope-coffee. The red Teletubbie threw the bags into Dipsy's and Tinky Winky's arms and took one for
himself. "Eh, breakfast, some dope, and pills for LaLa..." he muttered while the others went through the bags. "What the fuck!" Tinky Winky shouted, throwing out a very
familiar looking thing and backing away from it. Po looked over and laughed. "Sorry man, that's for LaLa." "Why the fuck
does LaLa need a fucking dildo!" Tinky Winky questioned dumbly.
"So she can go fuck herself without harrasing us." Po said, taking out a box of cereal and milk from the bag in his hand. He went over to the kitchen and
took out a bowl from the cabinet. "WTF! WTF! WTF!" Dipsy yelled, over and over. Tinky decided to join him, and the next tihng you know, the two were
running around the circular house, yelling. LaLa woke up from her drugg state to see two blurry people running around. "Whush gwoing onwh?" As the
scene paused, an intellegent looking Po stepped out to the paused scene. "As you can see," Po said, pointing at the scene, " Tinky and Dipsy are yelling
because of a dildo, and LaLa has awoken. Translation: 'What's going on?' Let's continue with this lovely picture." The scene played again, only Po was sitting
at a short table, munching on Frosted Flakes.
"Gimme gimme gimme!" Dipsy said, loading his bowl with a ton of cereal and milk and topped it off with a little pinch of dope. Tinky Winky shook his
head, and sighed fatherly, looking at Dipsy. "I don't understand why the hell anyone likes dope in their cereal. You can't even taste it through all that sugar!
And I thought it was for smoking..." Dipsy continued chomping on his sugar-loaded cereal, but saying in between each bite. "Stop...being...so gay!" Po
laughed and high-fived Dipsy, making Tinky Winky roll his eyes. Nobody noticed LaLa for a moment, but she was now sitting at the table with them, pouring
the whole box of Frosted Flakes into a mixing bowl. Who knew she was the one who ate the most?
Tinky Winky sat down for some oatmeal. As he happily enjoyed his oatmeal, the director of the show, told them to stop eating, and get on the set. "I
don't wanna!" Po whined. "Bruce, you're a party pooper. You party pooper." Dipsy said, finishing up his bowl. As he dumped the bown in the sink for LaLa to
clean, Bruce said angrily, "Hurry up!" "NO!" LaLa screamed, whacking Bruce with a huge metal pole. "Awesome! Where'd you get the pole?" Tinky Winky
said. "Strip Club." LaLa replied. Everyone was silent. The producer walked in, seeing Bruce dead on the floor, walked out. After all, the Teletubbies had the
right to kill Bruce, and it was their home. Actually, the set really is a house outside that is shaped like a dome. Po went over to the list of chores he made,
and look under his name. "Hey, look...LaLa finished my first chore for me," he joked, pointing to the list. LaLa took a bow and took the beer that Dipsy gave
to her. "Next thing to do was to kill off everybody besides us here, but it'd be no fun with no one to boss around..." Tinky Winky, gave a nod and farted.
Everyone groaned and covered their noses. "Eeeeeeeeeeeewww! What'd you eat yesterday, dude?" Dipsy groaned, fanning the air around himself. Tinky
Winky gave a nervous laugh. "...Burritos..." Then, everyone groaned and shouted at him. "You dumb ass! You're not supposed to eat that! You know what
the doctor said bout your gas tube!" Po said. He raced up the slide and out of the dome-shaped house to air off.
As Tinky Winky went outside, Po read the list again. "Alright, I have to make the bed, dust the house, Tinky Winky has to follow his diet, and help
NooNoo, Dipsy is supposed to go shopping for more food and other essentials, and LaLa has to wash dishes." Po read off. LaLa walked over to the sink and
began scrubbing the dishes immediatly. As Dipsy watched her, he went over to grab his black and white hat and wallet. He plopped the hat on his head,
and strolled out to the nearest Acme. Tinky Winky walked back in, only to fart even louder, and a stranger sound was heard. A plopping noise. "Oh shit,
Tinky! You sharted on the frickin' ground, god dammit!" Po groaned. LaLa ran off to get disinfectant and towels, as Tinky went to wipe his ass.
"Eeeeeew!" LaLa screamed, her gaze fixed at the pile of feces in front of her. "Am I suppose to clean this up!" Po gave her a glare and said sarcasticly. "No,
you're supposed to eat it." The yellow gal shuddered and screamed some more. "That's even worse! I don't wanna eat it! Get Tinky Winky to clean up his
own shit!" Then, she ran daintily on her toes to a large rock where she sat and filed her nails. Po immediately snapped his fingers and commanded for her to
get back to work. LaLa tried to make puppy eyes, but only managed to scare Po off for a while with her bags and dark eyes. "Hey, hey! Tinky dude! Wash
your hands before making food for your diet, you stupid messy asshole!" Po screamed, slapping the purple guy's antenna.
"Aw, alright." Tinky said, getting on his knees. Meanwhile, Dipsy was at Acme, browsing through the frozen food section. He saw some pizza and ice
cream, and took some of that and threw it into the cart. He grabbed the most tasties foods---chips, salsa, rice, soy sauce, beans, ribs, steak and hot dogs.
As he walked to drink sections, he spotted a sign with big red words: SALE; on milk! Half price off! Dipsy ran over, and loaded the whole cart with milk. He
also took some orange juice. Back at the house, Tinky was gagging at the smell of his shart. (A/n: It's when ya shit and fart at the same time.)
"Ugh, I can't believe I sharted this bad! I mean how can a little burrito get you this much shart! It's ridiculous, even for me!" he mumbled, taking a
pooper-scooper and reached for the pile of smelly feces. LaLa overheard him and added, "You forgot about your stinky gas tubes, you shart-maniac!" "And
you forgot to wash the stinky dishes, you stupid drunk bitch!" he shot back. They continued to fight until Po got in between them. "Oh, suck it up, guys, we
still got work to do! If it weren't for the lousy station cancelling our show, we wouldn't have to do this!" Po said, pointing at the work they had to
accomplish. "Yeah...I guess..." Tinky Winky looked down, almost sad, but then smirked at LaLa. "But Drunk Bitch started it first!"
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I just found out from the lovely Whyte Lilac that feces are well, POOP! See you next chapter!
R&R,
Whyte Lilac and hamtaro123312
