D.S.: Hey guys, I'm sorry that I wasn't able to write recently, I was in Flagstaff, AZ for a few days and just got back. GOMENASAI! I also got to go see this awesome SuperCross stunt tournament, I was in the first row…(actually, it was the fifth but all of the seats in front of me were covered in plastic because I guess it was too dangerous to sit there…I LIVE FOR DANGER!) These guys were flipping and doing all of these crazy stunts it was insane! I LOVED IT!

Hawkeye: …D.S., what's so great about watching idiots taking heavy two-wheeled machinery and flinging themselves in the air with them?

D.S.: It's great to watch because you're not the one doing it! THAT'S WHY IT'S GREAT!

Havoc: …Can we have Roy try one of those things!

D.S.: Yes, because we have yet to torture Roy for some odd, twisted, and demented reason; but that will have to be later. BECAUSE YOUR TORTURE FEST WILL START NOW!

Havoc: NOOOOOOOO! (Cigarette falls from Havoc's mouth as he dramatically falls to his knees in despair)

Hawkeye: O.OU …..oh crap…..


Riza Hawkeye and Jean Havoc's Voice Mail


Riza Hawkeye's Voice Mail

Hello, you have reached Second Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. I am not able to pick up the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I will get back to you as soon as possible; and I would like to add that probably the reason that I'm not picking up the phone is because I have to watch over the Colonel's ass because he is USELESS! Thank you very much.

You have 3 new messages, first message sent Tuesday, at 4:35 pm.

(Beep)

Hi, this is Petco, (A/N: WHERE THE PET'S GO! Hahahahaha…okay I'll stop…) the AK-47 deluxe dog chewy toy, complementary with doggy-treat bullets, you ordered is in, so please pick it up as soon as possible. Thank you for your stead-fast business that you have given us! Have a nice day.

Your message has been deleted, next message, sent today, at 10:24 am.

Hi Hawkeye, this is Fuery, I found another dog and I was hoping-

Your message has been deleted, next message, sent today, at 12:07 am.

Lieutenant, this is Ed and Al, (Al: Hello!) we found a cat, and Al won't leave me alone until we find a home so-

Your message has been deleted; you have no more messages, goodbye.

(Hawkeye looks at Black Hayate, and grumbles) This is entirely your fault, dog.


Jean Havoc's Voice Mail

Hello, you've reached Lieutenant Havoc, I can't pick up the phone right now so please leave a message after the…err…do I call it a beep…tone…whatever! I would also like to "request" that Colonel Mustang doesn't continue these prank calls so that I have to talk to my therapist even than I already have to because of the immense psychological damage already caused by that heartless jerk! GOT ME! ONLY LEAVE A MESSAGE IF IT'S ACTUALLY IMPORTANT! RAWR! (Twitch twitch)

You have 4 new messages, first new message, sent Monday, at 5:02 pm.

Havoc, this is Jamie, I'm calling to tell you that I'm canceling our date; there is this man that I met that is just a dream! He's a Colonel in the military and is ambitious about becoming Fuehrer! Not only that but he's an alchemist! Well I've got to go, or I'll be late for our date! I'm sorry Havoc! Bye!

Your message has been deleted, (Havoc: At least I have some back-up dates…I learned to plan ahead for disappointment.) Next message, sent yesterday, at 3:25 pm.

Jean, this is Samantha, I'm terribly sorry, I've decided I'm not going to go out with you, I just don't see a connection, and there is this alchemist that I met just yesterday that I just adore! He's a little on the short side, but he's closer to my age and I just love men with braids! (Squeal!) Also, he's been through a lot more than you and you can tell because he has automail for an arm and leg! (Sigh!) KAWAI'I! I'm really sorry Jean, but, this is goodbye…

Your message has been deleted, next message, sent today at 11:34 am.

Hey, Havoc! It's Mustang! I just wanted to give you some advice! I've been doing a dating service and it's been doing AWESOME! I think that you should start one of your own! It would give you a chance to see more women…unless you prefer the other gender…just kidding! I've got this date in about an hour so I have to go, call me back, okay! Bye!

Your message has been deleted, next message, sent today, at 3:28 pm.

Jean, this is Rosie-

Your message has been deleted; you have no more messages, good bye! (Havoc is crying in the background)

(A/N: That message was actually to CONFERM a date, not to dump him…that sucks… told you it was going to be a torture fest for him…)


Well? How did you like it? I'm sorry that it took so long; I was on vacation with no computer. It sucked very much! I will not continue until I get at least 4 reviews! (Most likely I'll start after the first because I'm too kind…sigh) BUT GET REVIEWING! If you have any ideas or maybe you want to leave a message for someone, put it in the review and I will try my hardest to put it in to the fic! ARIGATO GOZAIMATSU! SAIYONARA!