Chapter 14: Operation Move Along, Nothing to See Here

This was not how the operation was meant to go. Sure, the Strike Team had experienced mishaps in the past. Like the time Corporal Lang mistook that fire hydrant for Sectoid and ended up flooding most of downtown Boston. Or the time they accidentally detonated the Elerium Core of a crashed UFO in the centre of Glasgow, causing very nearly £20 worth of damage.

This one, though, would probably top them both. At no point in the history of the XCOM project had an entire Strike Team been apprehended, by the London Metropolitan Police.

This was how the six-person strike team found themselves sat on the edge pavement, their hands bound in front of them with restraints. They were sheltered from the ceaseless rain by the prefab tent the officers had managed to put together after about the 30-minute mark. MEC Trooper Sergeant West probably had the worst of it, being too large to fit underneath the cover they were forced to endure the perpetual downpour with nothing but a smart fedora for shelter.

Despite having disarmed the rest of the team of their weapons and equipment the officers that responded remained unclear on the procedure for properly restraining a 10-foot-tall robot suit. In the end they settled for relinquishing the trooper of their Railgun and having them sit beside the others. Or in reality, asking the MEC to lay the weapon down on the ground as it proved too heavy for any of the officers to carry.

Despite the United Kingdom being a member of the Council the existence of the XCOM project was not public knowledge even amongst many in their own government. The established procedure was that XCOM would be free to autonomously combat the invaders while local law enforcement focused on civilian evacuation and post battle damage control. To avoid any mishaps an emergency dispatch was sent to the government prior to their arrival who then coordinated the efforts of their police and military. But in this instance, it seems something had been overlooked by one side or another.

This lead inexorably to the current situation where, after dispatching another group of aliens landing just outside Leicester Square, attempts to secure the alien tech had to be postponed after the Strike Team were surrounded by local police. XCOM command ordered the Strike Team to stand down while they attempted to make sense of the situation from the Councillor. This was how the Strike Team, once armed with equipment reengineered from alien technology, found themselves being detained by police with standard issue Glock 17 pistols and MP5 submachine guns. That had been an hour ago.

In that time a cordon had been established to keep the ever curious public and news hungry journalists at bay. Someone even tried overtaking the perimeter by flying a UAV overhead, prompting a police sniper to shoot it out of the sky. One MELD enhanced soldier had offered to jump up and grab it but the police officer assumed they were taking the piss.

The situation had not been improved after the police sniffer dogs had reacted to the canisters of MELD. Questioning the Strike Team as to its contents did not improve matters.

After all the time spent waiting for some amount of progress patience was beginning to wear thin. African American operative Sergeant Richard Hunter was the first to chime in. "Oh, I know what you're thinking. I know what this is all about. It's because I'm American isn't it. You're still hung up on the Revolutionary War so now you want to get some payback by setting me up for a long stretch in Strangeways"

"Sir, please" the officer assigned to their watch tried to mediate the situation. "We're just trying to-"

But Hunter wasn't finished yet. "Special relationship my ass. All I'm seeing is that you don't love us no more. You're all like 'Oh America, we love you', but secretly you're thinking 'I still ain't forgotten what you did to me' and you've been holding onto that one for a long time. Now you're all like 'Don't be making eyes at Russia. I know you two used to have that whole love hate thing going on and suddenly you're all best pals together'. Well if you're going to be like that, I guess we-"

"Sergeant" Captain Bianca Carver interrupted. "Shut up"

By now the military disposal techs had arrived and begun scanning their equipment as well as the alien remains for signs of dangerous chemicals. The presence of people in blast suits and carrying containment shields did little to deter the onlookers who continued to photograph and film as best they could despite the efforts of the police to contain them.

Such an incident gaining widespread public could quite quickly throw the entire XCOM project into jeopardy. The entire purpose of XCOM was that it served as a multinational effort of each Council member supported on the condition that the project remain independent from direct intervention by the member states themselves. If word got out that one state had interfered or was trying to get the upper hand over the others it could cause other members to abandon the project entirely in protest.

This could have gone on in a similar fashion for who knew how long if an official looking black car hadn't been let through the cordon. Out of the car stepped a well-dressed man who gave every impression of being a spook. Tailor made suit, sharp haircut, air of superiority born from a lifetime of private education.

The well-dressed man approached the Chief Officer overseeing the scene, speaking in a hushed tone before handing the Chief Officer a non-descript envelope. The Chief Officer nodded in reply before moving away to consult with his underlings. This left the well-dressed man to approach the line of XCOM operatives without interruption.

"Terribly sorry for the inconvenience" the well-dressed man said as an introduction. "I hope they weren't too rough with you"

"And you would be?" Carver asked on behalf of the rest of the team.

"Bit of a mix up at the Home Office I'm afraid" the well-dressed man continued unabated. "Seems the minister in charge of delivering the memo left his laptop on a train. We've only just retrieved it from the 17:30 out of Kings Cross. Should have expected it really, he hasn't changed much since being my fag at Eaton. Either way, you're free to go now"

The Chief Officer reappeared with several other officers, relieving the XCOM operatives of their restraints before handing back their equipment. The MEC Trooper kindly retrieved their rifle themselves.

"What about the mess this lot caused?" Carver asked, indicating the gathering of police and technical staff illuminated by the police helicopter which had been circling overhead since their arrival.

"I've already been in contact with the Ministry of Meat Products" the well-dressed man assured them. "They'll see it's all taken care of"

"Meat products?" Corporal Samantha Knight asked.

"That's where we manufacture the governments porky-pies" the well-dressed man replied with a smarmy grin.

"That doesn't seem like a particularly well thought out name" Knight countered.

"Well we could hardly call ourselves the 'Ministry of Disinformation'. We tried it once but some chap named Round objected. We were going to name it the 'Department for Nobody Needs to Know', but apparently some people do need to know" the well-dressed man continued. "They'll simply mark it on the official report as CSGM, Consignment of Geriatric Shoe Manufacturers"

"C…S…G- what?" Hunter asked.

"A load of old cobblers" the well-dressed man added helpfully. "Any further requests for information will simply be redirected to the governments 'Not Received File', a handy little tool created to take care of anything that needed to be dealt with discreetly. Keeps things nice and tidy that way"

"And if people keep sending these requests for information?" Knight asked.

"Those requests are also redirected to the 'Not Received File'" the well-dressed man responded. "The senders usually either give up or remain at a manageable level such that widespread panic can be mitigated" the well-dressed man took a glance at his finely crafted watch on his wrist. "I think our business is concluded here, have a safe flight back home" and with that the well-dressed man departed.

But even as the team were lead away to the transport to escort them back to the Skyranger the sense of despair remained palpable in the air. They all knew just how much paperwork was waiting for them when they got back to base. In some ways it made the aliens seem not quite so bad by comparison.

XCOM Rule 504: In an effort to mitigate the chance of a repeat of the events in London XCOM communications staff are required to verify the alert message to the appropriate authorities was sent and a response received PRIOR to the Strike Teams arrival at the mission site

XCOM Rule 504a: No, you may not send official communications via Twitter