This is very loosely inspired by the movie Beyond the Lights with several diversions and just the generic idea drawn from it. I've been rewatching oitnb and this story came to me! I hope you enjoy the second chapter, thank you for the reviews on the first - they're a huge motivator!
TW: Attempted Suicide
The drive back to the hotel was silent. Piper was staring out of the window, the lights passing over her face. Alex wondered if she'd been too harsh, that whole conscience thing nagging at her, but there was no denying that Piper had been an asshole. A drunk asshole.
It was one thing to be cocky – to believe she'd brought them more success than she realistically had. It was another to slander the show that was providing her income. To the writer and showrunner.
When they reached the hotel she was adamant on walking by herself, pushing away Alex's attempts at help. She stumbled through the lobby with a frown plastered on her face, jabbing the elevator button violently when they reached it. The ride up was just as tense – the most awkward fifteen seconds of her life. She watched as the numbers ticked up one by one and damned Nicky for suggesting they get a high enough floor for a sick view.
Walking Piper to her door was the last thing she wanted to do, but unlike the actress, Alex wasn't an asshole (some might've disagreed).
"I think I can get to my door by myself," Piper said, the first time she'd spoken since before the cab ride, and proceeded to take three tries to swipe the key. She lingered for a split second, halfway through the entrance, before shutting the door behind her.
Shoulders slumped, Alex trudged towards her own room, hand massaging her temple. She'd never had any sort of drama like this with any of her actors. It was usually a transaction – Alex provided the scripts, her actors acted the lines. With Piper, there was a push and pull going on. More of a commentary. And there was way too much fucking drama. She supposed it came with the genre. Maybe next she'd start writing for reality shows, or star in one herself.
When she'd gotten inside and changed into something a little more comfortable she pulled up Nicky's number, typing out a quick message. That girl is a fucking nightmare.
Five minutes later there was a response: Tell me about it. A few seconds. You ok?
Perhaps that was Nicky's guilt for not helping. She said our show was irrelevant without her.
What a cunt. Did you slap her?
No I told her she was replaceable.
Touché. Another few seconds. Did you fuck her?
No! Wtf Nicky?
Jk. Really tho, you should just tell her to stfu.
Nicky was way too emotional to deal with Piper. It would've gone one of two ways: either she'd get pissed off and slap her or get pissed off and storm away. There needed to be logic about it. Even if Alex had told her she was replaceable, she had to be careful. She wasn't replaceable, really, not with the network and the audience eating her up. But with the way Piper was acting, it's not like she could give her the satisfaction of knowing this.
She spent half the night mulling over how she was going to handle the actress – it took three snooze buttons to get her up the next morning. She'd figured nothing out by the time she met Nicky and Boo for breakfast at a diner near set and still had nothing as they regaled her with stories about what went down once she'd left, a huge jug of coffee between them.
"You should've seen Taystee," Boo laughed, refilling her coffee. Tasha was one of the executive producers who'd worked with herself and Nicky on their comedy a while back. "That girl can dance."
"Man, I wish I could dance like that," Nicky groaned, scooping up her scrambled eggs.
"You can dance," Alex said, smirking.
"What, the sprinkler?" Shaking her head, Nicky pointed her fork at Alex. "You can dance. You've got the hips for it."
They walked on set together, Nicky wearing a pair of shades about the size of her head and moaning about how bright the light was.
Everybody who'd been out the night before had managed to be in on time, Piper included. She was in the corner reading over her lines, fresh out of hair and makeup. She was wearing one of her usual 19th century dresses paired with a modest up do. She squinted over at them through the light, eyes lingering on Alex.
Her scenes today were with her husband so at least in that respect it was mostly smooth sailing – they'd worked on a movie before and seemed to know each other relatively well. Piper still gave her some serious side eye over the course of the day.
The best part about it was Nicky. Although Alex was the head show-runner, Nicky was the one who liked to give the most pointers. She'd been pretty lax for this show given that they were pleased with how the actors were performing, but today she had a specific goal: piss off Piper.
Watching her like a hawk, she was picking up on every minuscule mistake. It was childish, but Nicky Nichols wasn't known for her maturity, and it seemed to be working. Alex had spotted an eye roll or two when Nicky couldn't see Piper's face. She could see the frown in her eyes and it only made her fumble over her lines more.
It was amusing, but when Piper completely fucked up her lines and asked for a two minute break to read over them again, Alex drew Nicky to the side and asked her to relax a little. "I think she got your point."
"Are you sure? Because I think she could do with a bit more-"
"Nicky. Come on, you're being unprofessional," Alex reasoned, glancing at Piper to find her staring at her lines intensely.
"Noted, ma'am," She saluted with a mocking smile, clearly annoyed that she couldn't continue her little game.
During break, on her way towards her shared trailer with Nicky (it made sense economically, it's not like they were in there that often) Piper approached her, twiddling her thumbs. "Hey, can I talk to you?"
Nodding curtly, she gestured towards the trailer up ahead, glancing at her as they walked.
If she felt hungover at all, the makeup department had managed to hide it. Her cheeks were a little red from the warmth but other than that she looked radiant.
"Oh, I don't want to impose," She hesitated as Alex opened the door of the trailer for her, but walked inside when the brunette simply blinked. She left the door cranked open, letting in a light breeze.
Piper mirrored Alex and sat on the sofa, a significant distance between them. Crossing and uncrossing her legs, she settled for placing her palms on her lap.
Expecting a huge complaint about Nicky's behaviour, Alex was surprised when Piper began speaking.
"Look, I'm sorry about last night," She offered, pushing her hair behind her ear. When Alex didn't respond, she continued. "I was way too drunk and I was angry and I took it out on you. I don't even believe half the things I said."
"Half the things?" Alex queried, eyebrow lifted, holding back a smirk.
"Most of the things." She amended. Alex let her at least have that, because there was some truth in the whole tabloid thing. "I know alcohol isn't an excuse, I just- yeah- I'm sorry."
Alex thought she might not have been particularly versed in apologies. At least her ego wasn't so bad she couldn't.
"I may have been a little harsh," She admitted, thinking back on the way she'd told Chapman they could've cast anyone to play her role. "You are important to this cast."
Nodding, Piper brushed back her hair before shooting her a hint of a smile. "Bygones?"
Never let anyone say she wasn't the bigger person. "Bygones."
They shook on it, a tentative shake, but Piper's eyes lit up and she smiled, so Alex smiled too. There were a few seconds of silence as Piper's eyes shot around the trailer and back to her. "I'll- um- leave you to your break."
She left with another smile, and Alex cursed herself for her weak will.
•
Piper may have redeemed herself momentarily, but it was fleeting. They'd had a pleasant few days of filming, mostly in the woods with another shot at the stables. They tried to localise it to mostly one area but had to branch out a few times. The whole array of actors hadn't come to Massachusetts due to how most of the scenes were indoors, but a good few had.
Piper had a scene with Reznikov that day, and then Stella.
Her mom-ager had arrived at Massachusetts the day before and had apparently briefed Nicky and Boo of Piper's photoshoot schedule that evening, insisting the actress had to leave early. It was a whole deal apparently, according to Nicky who'd complained her ear off their entire break in the trailer.
It was as she was chatting shit that Piper knocked on the trailer door, looking hesitant. "If this is about the photoshoot, we've already got the whole shebang from your mother," Nicky said, not even attempting to mask her contempt.
"No, it's not about that."
Alex invited her in, offering her chair to the actress and ignoring the look Nichols gave her.
Taking the seat with a quiet thank you, Piper looked at them both gravely. "I was just wondering if we could shift the schedule around?"
Sharing a look with Nicky, she lifted her glasses onto her head. "Shift the schedule?"
"If I could maybe shoot my scene with Gonzales today and push back the scene with Stella to tomorrow?"
Shaking her head, Nicky stared at Piper in disbelief. "Are you serious, Chapman?"
"Nicky," She cautioned, placing a hand on her shoulder. The woman shook it off.
"No, Alex, we're not pandering to her because she wants to get to a fucking photoshoot. Newsflash, Chapman, our shooting schedule doesn't revolve around you." Here was the emotion Alex had anticipated. It was valid, but there were better ways of dealing with people like Piper.
"I already said it had nothing to do with the photoshoot."
"Then why do you want to shift the schedule around? Gonzales finishes in half an hour and Stella is already in hair and makeup."
"Look, if it's too much trouble forget I asked," Piper was standing, an agitated frown pulling at her cheeks.
"Sorry Piper, it's too last minute." She lead her out, shrugging as Piper nodded and began walking off, flustered.
When she walked back into the trailer, Nicky was glaring, cursing under her breath. "Why do you fucking baby her. Sorry Piper."
"I don't baby her. I'm being reasonable. The network want her, the audience love her – you can't have her storming off set." Before Nicky could interject, she raised her finger. "It's not as if she was demanding we change things around, she came to us and asked. When she starts making demands, that's when you put her in her place."
It took five minutes for Nicky to see reason. It's not as if Alex wanted to back up Piper, the whole thing pissed her off too, but she understood their mindset. A lot of actors felt they were important – much more important than they were. Their grandiose sense of self often made taking directions from the people behind the scenes difficult.
Piper was having a heated discussion with her mother on the side of the set when it was time to shoot, no doubt complaining about their conversation in the trailer. The crew members were getting a little agitated so she sent somebody over to retrieve her for the scene, offering a pointed look when Piper turned to find her.
She looked put off from the get go – shoulders tense and lines stiff. Her mother was glowering from behind the camera, shaking her head every so often. She could see where the actress got it from.
Sooner or later she'd have to draw Piper aside for a serious discussion. If it came to it then there'd have to be some reconsiderations about the actresses role in their show, network be damned.
•
Alex had settled in a little earlier than usual that night, putting her book down at eleven. Nichols had invited her to the bar but she wasn't really feeling like it. Perhaps it was the high intensity of the Massachusetts schedule – they had a limited time window to shoot before going back to New York. Or maybe it was the headache that was Piper Chapman.
It must've been a few hours later when her sleep was interrupted.
Distantly, half asleep, she heard a banging sound. Her name being yelled through the door jolted her awake, and half delirious she walked towards the sound with a furrow in her brow.
When Alex swung the door open, Piper stumbled forwards from where she was leaning, face apologetic. Her hair was unkempt and her dress was riding up.
"Piper, what the fuck?" She whispered harshly, glancing out into the hallway.
"I lost my key," She slurred, leaning against Alex's doorframe to stay upright. "Can you help?"
"Fucking hell," Alex cursed as she went back into her room to slip some shoes on, grabbing her key from the side and unplugging her phone. It was four fucking am. "How did you manage to lose it?"
Piper followed her down the hallway, yanking off her heels when they were hindering her more than anything. "I don't know. I had it and then I didn't."
"Enlightening."
"This carpet is so ugly," Piper remarked as they reached the elevator. How she'd managed to get to their floor and to Alex's door was beyond her.
The actress stared at her in the corner of the elevator the whole ride down, and whatever was going through her head, Alex didn't want to know.
It was relatively easy to request a new key. Piper just had to flash her ID and they were on their way back up, this time an arm wrapped around her own. "Where is Gonzales?" She'd heard them arranging their night out earlier in the day and had been prepared to see a slew of articles sent her way by Nicky the next morning.
"She left early," Piper mumbled, tracing Alex's tattoo with her finger. "When did you get this?"
"I was nineteen."
Moving up to the rose, touch light, she leaned further into her. "What about this one?"
She pressed the elevator button, watching Piper warily out of the corner of her eye. "Early twenties."
The doors opened and they stepped in, Piper not letting go despite having the wall to steady herself. "How old are you now?"
"Never ask a lady her age."
Piper snorted, grip tightening on her arm. "I have a tattoo."
Alex nodded, "Really?" Like indulging a child – though she was curious what and where Piper had tattooed. It was probably something basic anyhow.
"Yeah, look." Piper moved as if she was going to lift a shirt before realising she was wearing a dress. She awkwardly yanked at the sleeve, considered the zip, before looking at Alex sheepishly. "I can't show. It's on my side."
Eyes forward, she refrained from rolling her eyes at her drunken slur. "I'll take your word for it."
A few seconds passed with Piper watching her carefully, eyes wide. "What?"
"Are you pissed off?" She asked, voice small.
Sighing, Alex led her out of the elevator and towards her door. "No, Piper. I'm just tired."
Keying them in, Alex followed Piper into the room, watching as she immediately flopped onto the bed – dress and heels still on, though one was hanging hazardously from her foot. Grabbing a bottle of water from the mini-fridge, she placed it on Piper's side. "Drink some water and get some rest. We're supposed to be filming tomorrow."
A hum came from beneath Piper's hair, ruffled up and covering her face.
Without lingering, Alex left her. There wasn't much she could do, and she wasn't some fucking actress babysitter. Hopefully she'd heed her advice and not turn up looking half dead the next morning.
There were a few texts on her phone when she got back to her room, Nicky had sent her another link to a TMZ article but she didn't bother clicking on it. It would only be another story on Piper and how trashed she looked. She didn't think to question why Nicky was up at this time.
It was when she was getting under her covers that she realised she had two key cards on her side. She cursed everybody on the planet, Piper three times, as she got back out of bed and made her way to the actresses room. She knocked a few times but wasn't surprised there wasn't an answer.
Quietly, she used the key to enter Piper's room and placed it on the side. It was colder than it had been before. Chancing a glance at the bed, she realised the sheets were ruffled and devoid of a blonde. "Piper?" She questioned, scanning the room. The bathroom door was open but the room was empty. Alex guessed she'd gone down to the bar to cause more trouble.
As she was turning to leave, she noticed the balcony door was cracked open - letting in a breeze. The curtain moved, allowing Alex a view outside. Squinting her eyes, she realised there was a form on the balcony railing, a black mass in the shape of a person.
Her stomach dropped, dread rising to the bass of her throat as she realised who it was.
She'd found somebody before, after suicide. They'd taken a bunch of pills and there was still foam at the corner of their mouth when Alex had found them. That was back when she was mixed in with the "wrong crowd". She'd tried dealing for a bit but got mixed up in the drugs herself – addicts never made good dealers so she quit (it's hard to ever erase that image) and never looked back. (Mostly). That's where she'd met Nicky, surprisingly.
With light steps, she made her way towards the balcony, not knowing how to get Piper's attention without startling her.
There was a sort of tragic beauty about her. Her head turned at the sound of Alex stepping out – her mascara was starting to smear around her lashline, eyes glassy, and her hair sifted in the breeze like a silk scarf. Suddenly, Alex felt a raw fear. It tore at her lungs and left her breathless. "Piper?" It came out choked.
"How did you get in?" Piper asked, voice eerily steady.
"I- the key- had your key." Feeling like there was a limited window to convince her to get down; Alex stumbled over her words. "What are you- Piper- can you please get down?"
"Don't bother." She said, knuckles white where they clenched around the rail – that and her balance keeping her up.
Blood thrumming in her ears, Alex stepped closer. "Look at me."
She was shivering, skin pebbled. Alex might've felt it if it weren't for the adrenaline coursing through her.
"Please look."
Upon turning, Alex noticed the tear tracks streaked down her face. A stray tear dropped from her cheek, lips parted. Her eyes were void, pupils blown so they looked mostly black. If she looked closely she'd be able to see herself in them before she'd recognise any sort of emotion from Piper.
"You still don't see me," Piper whispered, barely a breath. The words wilted away with the wind and Alex felt a shift.
Before Piper could jump, Alex grabbed her shoulders roughly and dragged her from the rail. They fell backwards with Piper yelling, voice hoarse as she screamed at Alex to let her go. Her back hit the wall roughly but she kept her arms wrapped around Piper until she calmed, breath heaving as she stopped struggling.
"Fuck you, Alex." She was moving away from her, shoving at her shoulder angrily. "Honestly, fuck you." And then she was sobbing.
The sobs ripped through her, shoulders shaking; Alex could almost feel them through the balcony floor. It was heartwrenching.
Moving to comfort in the only way she knew, physical affection, she frowned when Piper refused, scooting further away. When the sobs didn't subside, she sighed, reaching to comfort her again. Piper relented, allowing Alex to pull her into her chest, nails digging into her arms.
She muttered a few pointless assurances, hands attempting soothing patterns. There was a faint throbbing in her shoulder now that the adrenaline had passed and she had to loosen her grip.
When she eventually went to stand, Piper's head whipped up, eyes manic.
Holding out her hands, she quirked an eyebrow. "I'm not leaving. Come on."
Piper relented, taking her hands and allowing Alex to lead her into the bedroom.
Mechanically, she sat on the bed, eyes following Alex around the room as she grabbed a sweater strewn over the desk and a bottle of water, passive.
"Drink."
She drank half the bottle and took the sweater from Alex's hands, slipping it over her head. "I wasn't going to jump." Piper looked at her seriously, voice grave.
"Yeah, and I'm not a writer."
Piper looked down at her lap, fingers tugging at her sleeves.
"Do you want me to get somebody? Your mom?" Alex questioned, receiving a vehement shake of the head. "Is there anybody I should call?"
"No," She voiced, wrapping her arms around her middle. "I don't want anybody else involved. I wasn't going to jump."
Feeling at an impasse, she watched Piper for a few silent seconds. She thought about asking if she wanted to talk but it all felt so trivial and pointless. The girl was clearly in denial. Her shoulder was aching now and the exhaustion reminded her of how late it was, yet the thought of sleeping sickened her. She had a feeling that, eyes closed, all she'd be able to see was Piper on that damn balcony.
"You lost."
Alex furrowed her brows, "What?"
"You blinked first," Piper said, blinking slowly.
Tilting her head, she searched her face for any humour but found it was blank. "You should get some rest."
"Yeah." Shifting up the bed so she could slip under the covers, Piper laid her head delicately on the pillow, wiping at her eyes. She looked vulnerable in a way that made Alex want to stay. "Are you gonna stand in the corner of the room all night like the secret service?"
"I don't think you could afford my rates."
I'm not that used to this site as I'm more active on ao3 but I noticed the OITNB fandom was a little more active on here :) if you prefer ao3 this fic is under the same name and user over there. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and there will most likely be another one by next weekend. There will be mentions of suicide in subsequent chapters as a forewarning.
