Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers.

Charlotte's Sequel
Chapter IV
A Darker Story ...

Nabiki Tendo looked around the room at the expectant faces, none more expectant than her father. 'I don't want to give him a heart attack . . . but he sure is asking for it.' she thought.
There was no easy way to tell them what she had to say, they wouldn't understand. They certainly wouldn't approve . . .
"Well . . . uh . . ." she trailed off, unsure of herself. Should she tell the truth, or lie, or what? They wanted her to lie, they probably expected it she was sure. So surely if she told the truth now, and made them think it was a lie, then told a good lie and made them think it was the truth the weight would be off her shoulders, she'd have confessed without the dire consequences, and she'd still have her way. "Daddy . . . Kasumi . . . Akane . . ." She gulped. "Uh . . . I'm not going to college. There's no point to it. I've been offered a job in the United States, it requires no college education." She decided not to add that it didn't really require *any* education, to keep people from jumping to the, more likely than not, correct conclusions. "It's really high paying, and it's something I can very easily do."
"You've joined organized crime?" Kasumi gasped. "Nabiki! I knew you were a good runner . . . and good with numbers, and money . . . and fairly good with laundry . . . but running numbers and money laundry? I never suspected!"
"Joined? Kasumi, she's probably started her own crime family! You have, haven't you?" Akane accused.
"It's got nothing to do with crime." Nabiki scoffed. "Besides, the only forms of organized crime I'm interested in are full of really intelligent guys, y'know, university type guys. That I'm not going to college is really a good sign."
"So it is completely legal?" Soun demanded.
"Well I think so." Nabiki said with unintentional honestly.
"Then you have my full support!" Soun cried.
"Really?" Nabiki blinked. "But you don't even know what this job is!"
"I think he's working under the impression that he'll be much happier not knowing." Kasumi said.
"Well I ain't!" Ranma said. "I want to know, what is this high paying job that requires no college education? What could have our Nabiki so sure of her future that she'd give up esteemed placed like Marvard and Lo Tech? How can I get in on this?"
Nabiki scoffed. "That's not your concern Ranma."
"Yeah, I don't *need* to know." Ranma agreed. "I mean so long as yer okay I really don't care anyway. Now that I think of it, even if you weren't okay, I probably wouldn't care. It's not like you're whorin' yerself on the streets." He chuckled.
Everyone laughed.
Except Nabiki.
"Don't worry, if I ever did that I'd make sure to recommend you to my pimp, *Ranko*! You'd be a 'smashed' hit." Nabiki hissed.
Ranma stopped laughing, everyone else just laughed harder.

Ushio Koruda observed his finest vassals. Five masters of his arts, one of them his own decedent, the future of the Koruda School of Combat. He shuddered, they were dressed in crimson with helmets and light armor.
"We look so pathetic." His young apprentice scoffed.
"Hey, you got your pay check, now shut up and do as you're told!" Ushio cried. He'd had enough of his apprentice's complaints. "These suits will help cushion the blows you'll take, and believe me you'll take quite a few. Beware, for Soun Tendo is a resourceful man, crafty and bold, strong and brave! He is my worthy adversary."
"Whatever. Everything is ready, we can go at any time. Tendo and his sons don't stand a chance, our intelligence shows that there are usually only two real fighters in the place, Tendo's youngest girl and her fiancee. But anywhere between one and a dozen more can show up at any time, including Tendo's second daughter's fiancee, whom our intelligence reports is in fact there at this time. We should go with at least twice this number." Ie briefed the team and Ushio.
"Do you doubt your ability to win?" Ushio asked.
"Not at all."
"Then it should not be a problem. There are five fighters at the Tendo Training hall at this time. There are five of you. There is a sixth, in the shadows. But he will not emerge unless he is needed . . . I think, I was sort of uh . . . well intoxicated when I briefed him . . . actually, you may want to wear bullet proof vests, I think I called a hit out on one of you . . . cant remember whom."
"Sound's fun."
"Then go to it." Ushio said sternly. "Let our enemies know the price they pay for waging war on the Koruda School of Combat!!"
"Uh . . . aren't we technically waging war on them?" His apprentice-er *instructor* Tomoko Ie questioned.
Ushio rubbed his forehead. "You just . . . don't get it."
"Get what?"
"Go. Just got." He sighed.

Yoshimi stretched, looked around and yawned. Morning already? She'd slept like a baby. Everything was going to plan, except for Nabiki Tendo's decision not to attend college. Yoshimi did not doubt that she could convince Tendo. She'd saved her best card, and the one she'd planned to play the whole time, for today.
No matter what . . . when Nabiki went to *this* college . . . whether that Kuno boy followed her plan or not--though it seemed he would, which was good--Ryoga would be the last thing on Nabiki's mind.
A thrice cursed shame really, Yoshimi thought it would make an epic story to tell the children she and Ryoga would someday have . . . saving their daddy from the ravages of an evil Chinese whore goddess, who sucked life out of men like a succubus, with a voice like a siren, and . . . well perhaps her imagination was overacting again. She had to be careful about that . . .
"No poor, middle class, greedy thingy will take my Ryoga away from me! For I, Harume Yoshimi, firstborn daughter of Harume Kotaro, age seventeen and three quarters do not care how many goddesses have possessed her!" Yoshimi declared to no one in particular. "Ryoga shall be mine! Let none stand in the way of this! If she will not be dissuaded, she must die!"
It was no idle threat, Yoshimi would not lose this contest. If she were Ryoga's second choice, it would not bother her so long as his first choice ceased breathing. And if she were his third, or fifth? Well she had lots of money. Money to hire assassins. Good ones, not the skinny girl from the Tendo home. Was that girl even a real assassin? Yoshimi doubted it.
Assassins who could actually kill their targets. Those were the assassins young Yoshimi desired.
Yoshimi felt a tremor go through her spine. Everything in her life was right. Her relationship with her father was improving--he was trying to kill her less often, and he'd stopped shouting "Oh lord, give me the strength to stop this hell-spawn abomination brought forth by mine own loins! Have mercy on my soul!!" when he did it--and she'd finally found her love, Ryoga! If there was a single cloud raining on he parade, it was that Ryoga seemed to be attached to Nabiki Tendo.
But then, love was a battlefield, and as with any war Yoshimi simply needed to figure out what weapon to use to effectively fight her opponent.
She had lots of ideas, this would be fun! Of course . . . there was a little something she had to do before seeing her beloved Ryoga today.

Nabiki's heart soared. She'd gotten out of it! Her family didn't care what she was doing, it was great!
Of course the fact that father probably couldn't pay for college anyway may have had a hand in the whole event. Nabiki cracked her knuckles. She'd been so worried about coming home, she should have just come back a long time ago!
"Hey, Nabiki . . ." Ryoga hailed her as she tried to sneak to her room.
"Uh . . . hey darling . . . I'm just going upstairs . . . do you want to come?"
"Not really. Uh . . . Nabiki, I was just curious, what's this job you've got? While we were traveling around we kept looking at colleges, and stuff, but we never did run into anyone who would have offered you a job . . . not a high paying one anyway."
"You're right. *We* didn't. But you've got to understand, Ryo-dear, I've got a life that continues when you're not in the immediate area. We weren't together twenty four seven."
"I know"
"In fact, I'm going to be getting back to that life you know nothing about, but I'll come back to spend some time with you later, okay honey? Bye!" To ensure that he wouldn't question her further, she tossed a glass of cold water at him and dashed upstairs.
'Sorry,' she thought 'you're the one person I *still* cant tell . . . not yet. Maybe throwing cold water at you was a little mean . . . too late to take it back. I don't usually question myself . . . must be your fault. I should have used a bucket. That'll learn you to make me wonder about things I should already know! I know what I'm going to do isn't wrong! Why am I talking to myself?'
Her thoughts continued on for a long while, before she realized that she should be doing something. She got right to work on a very important project. It involved picking up a phone and making a long distance call.

Ryoga . . . or rather, P-Chan walked about the Tendo halls, oinking thoughtfully to himself, wondering where he was exactly. It had been a while since he'd made Nabiki mad enough to douse him with cold water, and thus transform him into . . . well, what he was now.
And of all the times for it, now was the time that five anime-convention rejects showed up, entering through the shattered wall.
"Soun Tendo and pet," Their leader snapped at Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome (A panda) who we're trying to play a simple game of Chinese Checkers "I am Anzu Koruda of the Koruda School of Combat, my master warriors and I have come to face you and your five finest students in mortal combat!"
"Hey wait a second chief, I'm not fighting to the death!" One of the Koruda troops said. "Yer old man *finally* gave me my paycheck, I want to live long enough to spend it without having to worry about prison."
"But Tomoko, you've got a mask on."
"The hecks that supposed to mean? Don't be stupid Anzu, don't you know cops can tell who killed who with what and how by blood spatter alone?"
"Tomoko, Anzu, call each other by your code names!" A third trooper cried.
"Oh right! Sorry. Anyway, Convoy Butterfly," the one known as Tomoko said, "you do know that "Mortal Combat" means combat to the death?"
"Really? Snaps! Okay Slammin' Flower Child, you declare the challenge!" Anzu-er Convoy Butterfly scoffed.
"Gladly! I Tomoko Ie-uh Slammin' Flower Child, of the Koruda School–"
"Yes, yes, I know." Soun waved her words away like a foul odor. "Go wait in the dojo, I'll send someone to see you as soon as this game is over."
"I'll take them on, dad!" Akane offered.
"Okay, fine." Soun said, annoyed. "Just go."
"I got yer back, Akane!" Ranma said.
"I can handle them myself, Ranma!" Akane scowled. Then as an afterthought she added, "I wonder where Ryoga went . . ." P-Chan jumped up and down trying to get her attention.
"I thought you said you could handle it by yerself." Ranma sneered. Akane grabbed the jumping piglet–Ryoga–and threw him at Ranma's head, both boy and baby pig lay unconscious on the ground.
"There are five of us . . . I was . . . I dunno, sort of hoping for a tournament style sort of thing . . ." Anzu said.
"I was hoping for a melee, something we can get finished with quickly. The mall is calling my name Tomoko . . . Tomoko . . . come shop . . . come shop . . ." Tomoko sighed.
"I can take you all!" Akane cried.
"You realize if we win, we get to burn down your dojo?" Anzu pointed out.
"What!?" Soun yelped. "Ranma! Where's Ranma? Where are you son!? Save our dojo!"
"Convoy! I though we were burning the place down anyway?" Tomoko complained.
"Yeah, well . . . not much incentive for them to fight if they know we win either way, Flower Child."
"Oh right, gotcha chief."
"Now see here, if we are triumphant, shouldn't we get to burn *your* dojo to the ground?" Nodoka asked, crawling out of the wood work.
"Yes! Yes! Burn it down! We want to burn your dojo down!" Soun agreed, leaping behind Nodoka for protection.
"Come off it!" Anzu scoffed.
"Off what?" Akane blinked.
"You cant even *find* our school, we heard from an elementary school janitor you went prowling for it and tried to pick a fight with some grade threes!"
"We'll we'd have kicked their butts if we weren't drunk off our own!" Soun cried, shaking his fist at Anzu from behind Nodoka who rolled her eyes impatiently.
'I remember that . . .' Ryoga thought as he came out of his daze. 'Boy was that embarrassing . . .'
"I'm afraid the fact is that father does not really have five prize students to combat you." Kasumi piped up. "There's just Akane you see, the rest sort of do their own thing . . . Ranma does several other people's things . . . but really, this is not a school of Martial arts . . . if it is, it's a pretty poor one, I haven't seen father leading a class in a long time . . ."
"Well . . . okay . . . if one is all you've got . . . all right. You, hold her down, I'll jump up and down on her, you two break her legs, and you stand by to snap her neck in mercy in the unlikely event that we start to feel bad for her." Anzu shrugged.
"No one is holding me down!" Akane cried, taking up a fighting stance.
"Oh right, how rude of me. We'll tie you down, then Tomoko and I can *both* jump on you." Anzu shrugged.
"Give us some time to round up some fighters!" Soun pleaded.
"Uh . . . sorry, no. This was actually supposed to be sort of a surprise attack . . . I just didn't feel comfortable with the idea of slaughtering a defenseless bystander on accident." Anzu said. "I don't see a problem, there's that unconscious boy there, the big-mouth girl, then you and your . . . eh . . . sword toting lady friend, and then . . . well I hear Pandas are pretty vicious. That makes five, fair and square. Throw the pig in if you want, we don't care."
'Wow . . . she's really bad at this whole super villain thing.' Ryoga thought.
"The pig . . . of course . . ." Kasumi said thoughtfully. Ryoga saw an evil gleam in Kasumi's eyes. One that he normally saw in Nabiki's, and had only been in Kasumi's when she'd tried to imitate her sister in an attempt to raise money to repair the wall of the house the last time it was knocked down . . .
'Oh crap.'
Kasumi bowed to the Koruda fighters, "I am the great and powerful Kasumi, the magician of fate! Behold, my powers will transform this useless worm of a man lying on the floor, into a luscious beauty, with flaming red locks and legs that go on for miles!"
The three male members of the enemy team "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed. Kasumi produced a bucket of cold water, and splashed Ranma with it.
"AIE! I'm up! I'm up!" Ranko cried.
The Koruda fighters clapped enthusiastically, one of them whistled. They tossed Kasumi some coins and cheered.
Kasumi took a bow. "Now, with my super magical skills, I shall turn this panda into a balding man of his mid forties, for your enjoyment."
None of the Koruda fighters seemed too enthusiastic about that, but when Kasumi did it they clapped anyway, how could they not? It must have been an impressive sight, Ryoga realized.
"Thank you, thank you . . . Now, this pig shall become a strong young man, ready to combat your evil force! Behold my unrivaled power!" Kasumi cried, splashing Ryoga.
She'd forgotten that unlike Genma Saotome who somehow just managed to be clothed whenever eyes were on him, once he was done transforming Ryoga was quite naked.
Now Tomoko and Anzu cheered and threw coins and bills at Kazumi, the three guys averted their gaze. Ryoga was completely speechless.
"Er . . . sorry about that." Kasumi whispered, quickly handing him her apron. "Er . . . well he'll be ready to combat your evil as soon as he's dressed. She shoved him into the hallway where Nabiki's cold water had transformed him and he quickly got dressed.
"Aww . . ." Tomoko sighed.
Kasumi shook her head scoldingly. "Really Ryoga, can't you find some way to keep more than just that bandanna on you when you transform? As handy as it might be if you ever join a street gang, is it not rather embarrassing?"
"Yeh-yeh-Yes!" Ryoga stammered.
"Why couldnt the chick have been nude?" One of the guys complained. "The girls got the better show out of this."
"They paid me more." Kasumi noted.
"Aww . . ."
"Hey!" Akane cried, "Are we forgetting the reason they're here, and we're missing precious Anime viewing time?" She demanded, jerking her finger at the TV. "We're supposed to be fighting, not putting on magic acts!"
"Come now Akane, if I'd simply 'cast my spells' would they have paid us for it?"
"I would have." Anzu noted, though she had a black visor over her eyes, Ryoga could just sense that her eyes were glued to him. He didn't like it.
"She's right though, it was the performance, and not the magic that parted me from my yen." One of the guys said.
"Y'know, all the mention of money makes me wonder why Nabiki hasn't come down here foaming at the mouth yet . . ." Ryoga observed.
"You've got a rabid attack dog whose command word is 'money' too? Dad told me I was the only person in the world that crazy!" Anzu cried, Ryoga scratched his head and Kasumi just sighed.
"Hey!" Akane cried. "Stop it! You're all losing sight of the main deal here!"
"We are? Oh right, our brutal beating and murder of you and your beliefs, right. Very well! Let the combat begin!"

Kinnosuke shrugged. "She just showed up one day, threw her arms around me, said that she loved me, and then asked me for my name. Actually she went through a couple friends I had over before she got to me, and seemed to be satisfied. I didn't even get her name, I still haven't bothered to ask. She's a great maid though."
Yoshimi nodded. So that was Akari, and the end result of the whore goddess's power . . . very interesting. "I understand that your real love interest is Nabiki Tendo."
"What? Who told you that?" Kinnosuke scoffed.
"Is it not true?" Yoshimi raised an eyebrow.
"Well I guess she was interested in me. I mean who wouldn't be? Women drop to my feet like moths to the fire of my charm, obviously." Kinnosuke said, and pointed to Akari who was busy washing his dishes as if to prove his point and shrugged. "I'm not interested in her though, she used to be untouchable, unreachable but then she went and got engaged to that guy . . . cant remember his name . . . ruined my life, the woman stealing son of a–er I mean good for him, he must be pretty desperate to take that girl for a bride."
"Well how would you feel if I told you that I knew a way you could have Nabiki?"
"I'd say I wasn't interested. But out of curiosity I'd ask for detailed instructions." Kinnosuke seemed to be reigning king in his mind, but Yoshimi decided to let it go.
She smiled, and chuckled as she told him the plan "It is coming together nicely." Kinnosuke scratched his head but apparently decided not to ask her what was so funny.
"So my only real objective here is to–"
"Yes exactly. You can take that maid with you if you want . . ."
"I was sort of planning on going to–"
"No, no good. This is far more important, and believe me this place will be better."
"But my–"
"No, your lucky color is not green."
"Can–"
"Yes, your puppet can come too."
"Do I need to–"
"No, not at all."
"And–"
"Unnecessary."
"Well . . . I guess we have an understanding?" Kinnosuke said.
"I should hope so! Technically if you spill my plans to Nabiki or Ryoga the contract you sign gives me the right to have you executed."
"I didn't sign any–"
"Oh yeah! Here you go." Yoshimi said, handing him a contract.
"Oh! Uh . . . well okay." Kinnosuke signed.
"Excellent . . ." Yoshimi chuckled.

"No . . . I don't think so." Nabiki said.
"Then I'm on my way." The voice on the phone said.
There was a crash from downstairs . . . various shouts, the distinct sound of father weeping into Nodoka's dress and lamenting about his poor house.
"Hurry!" Nabiki whispered, "I don't know if I can survive!"
"Life at home is *that* bad?"
"No, really, my survival is in question here." She held the phone so that explosions could be heard, the screaming and so forth.
Sounds from downstairs:
"Oh my!" (BAM!)
"Oh, dear lord No!" (BOOM!)
"Holy lord I'm going to be sick!" (SOCK!)
"Why!? WHY!?" (BASH!)
"That's awful!" (EXPLOSION)
"Holy mother of--I'm going to throw up!" (VOMIT)
"Oh no! Not on my shirt!" (SLASH)
"Not on the carpet!" (THUNK)
"My arm! I cant find my arm!" (ARM MISSING!)
"Oh wait, here it is ... I slap!" (SLAPPY TIME!)
"Look out! They've got a squirrel!" (SQUIRREL!)
Nabiki put her ear to the phone, her long distance conversation partner said simply "I'll be right there."

Ryoga ducked to avoid the flying squirrel, he glared at Ranko, "Where did you get that!?"
"Uh . . . the internet!" Ranko lied.
"Tendo Fists of Anger!" Akane cried, sending Tomoko flying into another wall, and right through it.
"That's not even a real move!" The battered Koruda Fighter snapped as she emerged from the rubble.
"I made it up!" Akane cried.
"Ya made up the name, that was just a sucker punch!"
"Shut up Ranma!"
Kasumi shook her head and set the table for herself and Nodoka, the only two not currently fighting (though Soun and Genma had taken a break to vomit, and clean their shirts respectively) she poured tea, not at all worried that Ranma might lose.
After all . . . he was Ranma. And he had Ryoga with him.
"Take this! My hatred and power in one fell attack!" Ranko lunged, she seemed to glow red with the awesome power of her ki, she struck like a bolt of lightning!
"ACK! Ranma you hit ME!" Ryoga cried.
"I know--er I mean sorry!"
"Boys." Kasumi sighed, shaking her head again.
"My poor son . . . if only there were something I could do to help him . . . alas, he would be no man if--"
"Give it a rest already, we're all tired of hearing that." Kasumi scoffed. "You know that Ranma and Ranko are the same person, and you know that Ranma, for all his shortcomings, and there are a lot of them, is as much a man as his father, and incidentally as much a woman as you, so technically he's the perfect blend and the perfect individual. If anything you don't have to worry about him being disrespectful towards women."
"Oh-ho . . . I disagree, he's an unnatural blend, and a warped individual, and he's just as disrespectful to women as he is to men which on a case to case basis can be pretty darn rude, but I love him anyway, he's my son . . . daughter . . . who cares?"
"I guess I'll drink to that." Genma said, shirtless. It was a sight that made Kasumi shudder. She liked older guys, but Genma was the least appealing man in the universe.
"No, you'll get back to the fighting." Nodoka said, waving her katana at him. It slipped out of her hands and it's hilt hit Akane in the back of the head. "Oops!"
"I've been shot!" Akane cried, and fell over on her face.
"Oh dear . . ." Nodoka said.
"I never suspected that a head blow would ever affect our dear Akane!" Nabiki gasped, Kasumi looked up at her sister, standing over her like some evil force of forceful evil.
"Nabiki, won't you sit down?"
"Yeah, sure. But first, Kasumi . . ." she looked around the room, at Tomoko checking Akane's pulse, Anzu and some guy pounding Ryoga into the ground as the squirrel chewed up Ranko's face, and the other two Koruda students lay unconscious, they might have been taken for dead if not for the fact that it had been Ranko accidentally flashing them when the squirrel had leapt at her and clawed her shirt open that resulted in their current swoon, "What the heck is going on here?" Nabiki demanded.
"Uh . . . well these five invaders--"
"Power Ranger Rejects." Nabiki scoffed.
"That's it! Power Rangers! I knew we were copying something!" One of the women cried.
"Well anyway they're from the Kordua School of Combat," Kasumi began.
Nabiki had to interrupt her to remark "So it *does* exist!"
"Yes. they've come to fight us, and then, win or lose, they plan to burn down the dojo." Kasumi said.
"Is demolishing our home part of the battle plan?" Nabiki scoffed.
"Well . . . it seems to be." Kasumi frowned.
"Ryoga!" Nabiki snapped, ignoring her older sister now, "Don't let her hit you like that! Kick her in the face, g'on, chivalry is dead! I wont think you any less of a man if you beat the stuffing out of that woman, I'll think you less of a man if she continues to kick your butt like that!"
Kasumi shook her head. She returned to her tea.
Just then there was a knock on the door, Kasumi gratefully got up and answered it.
"Hello! I am Yoshimi Harume, age . . . sorry, we've done this before." Yoshimi said brightly.
"Why hello Yoshimi," Kasumi said with a smile that defied the fact that there was a crazed brawl going on in her livingroom. "Wont you come in? I'm afraid the house is in a bit of a mess, but really this is how things normally are around here, as you court Ryoga, you might as well get used to it, seeing as he spends so much time here."
"Thank you . . . I think." Yoshimi smiled in the same manner as Kasumi. She came into the livingroom and gasped.
"AHHH! Let go of me, I have to run! I'll pay you! I'll do anything!" He screamed first at his opponents, then at Yoshimi, "Get back spawn of Satan!"
"Oh Ryoga!" Yoshimi gasped. "My darling! How can they do this? Are you not the most powerful fighter in the world?"
"No, that's Ranma! Marry him! Marry him!" Ryoga cried.
"No. Fear not my love, for I shall love you even after you've been brutally beaten. I shall nurse you back to health on my yacht, and when you've got your sea legs we can be married at sea, riding on a blue whale as the minister, a walrus, gives the ceremony!"
Ryoga seemed to consider this, then he went nuts, he freed himself from the clutches of the Koruda Fighter holding him, grabbed him and threw him at Anzu, grabbed the two unconscious guys and using them as clubs proceeded to beat the stuffing out of the three other K-Fighters.
"Wow . . ." Nabiki said in surprise.
"It is his love for me that inspires this burning desire to surmount any mountain, and surpass any odds." Yoshimi beamed.
"Right . . ." Nabiki glared. Kasumi shuddered, she sensed something bad about to happen.
She was right.
Nabiki calmly walked up to a screaming Ranko, with a "Let me help you," she peeled the squirrel from Ranko's face, and then feigning injury "Ahh! It bit me!" she threw it at Yoshimi.
It would have connected if Kasumi hadn't caught it. "Oh you poor thing! Treated as a weapon! Off you go now, g'bye!" The squirrel ran like mad for the busted wall, and up a tree to safety.
"I didn't know there were any squirrels around here!" Yoshimi squeaked. "I am terribly afraid of squirrels!"
"You've made a powerful enemy today, Kasumi." Nabiki growled.
"Oh not at all, I am thankful to her for saving me from the squirrel, that she did not snap it's neck is easily forgivable." Yoshimi smiled.
Nabiki shook her head, Kasumi did the same. "Our wonderful life of doom." She sighed.

Ryoga's blood lust subsided, he looked around, Ranma's face was . . . well, surprisingly unscathed. Only Ranma could be so lucky. Akane was recovering, Genma had gotten a new shirt and Soun had finished cleaning up his tossed lunch.
Everything had returned to a state of normality.
Except that Yoshimi was there.
Ryoga stood up and scowled. "Listen Yoshimi, I'm getting tired of this, and it's only the second day, I don't–"
"Oh I know my love! I cannot stand it either, but in just a few more months we'll be husband and wife!"
"That's not what I'm–"
"And assuming she still has an interest then, we'll find some nice country where you can settle down with me and Nabiki." Yoshimi thought for a moment. "Her too if you want." She pointed at Kasumi, who choked on her tea.
"Now just a minute, you cant just declare my sister part of the package!" Nabiki protested.
"Well I meant with her consent of course." Yoshimi said.
"Yoshimi, I'm really . . . really not interested in having multiple spouses, or multiple girlfriends for that matter, do I look like Ranma to you?"
"Hey!" Ranko protested.
"Well . . . if you had a pony tail . . ." Yoshimi said.
"Yeah, I sort of see the resemblance." Akane said.
"His muscles are thicker, but other than that he's a dead match for Ranma." Soun shrugged.
"Hey! That's not the point!" Ryoga cried.
"What do you think, auntie?" Kasumi asked.
"They told me the other one died at birth." Nodoka said simply, sipping her tea.
Everyone laughed, even Ryoga.
"What's so funny? I'm serious." Nodoka said.
No one laughed. Everyone looked at Ranma and Ryoga curiously, Akane emptied a kettle of hot water on Ranko's head, and the two boys were made to stand side by side so a closer examination could be conducted . . .
"They do argue a lot . . . like brothers." Genma said.
"They look the same." Akane pointed out.
"They're the same age." Kasumi pointed out.
"Ryoga fell for it when Ranma pretended to be his sister. Maybe they sensed some sort of sibling's bond or . . . something." Akane reminded everyone.
"No, he fell for it because he's an idiot." Ranma scoffed.
"I am not, and I did not! I knew it was him the whole time!" Ryoga cried.
"Yeah right." Nabiki scoffed. "Actually . . . you've got the same eyes."
"We do not!" Ryoga cried.
"This ain't funny!" Ranma agreed.
"And you've both become great martial artists, in spite of the genes your working with." Yoshimi pointed out.
"And your favorite colors are both blue." Soun cried.
"Ah! Well that's just undisputable evidence, isn't it?" Ryoga scoffed sarcastically, "that *proves* Ranma is my brother!"
"It does? Oh brother! Boohoohoohoo! I've always wanted a brother!" Ranma wept, hugging Ryoga. "Wait . . . is my favorite color blue? You've gone and confused me!"
Nodoka chuckled cruelly. "I'm sorry, I was just joking, Ranma is an only child . . . well besides his sister . . . we sold her into slavery . . . now stop hugging each other, it isn't very manly at all."
Ryoga peeled Ranma off himself. He could no longer remember what they'd been talking about, or that he'd been about to stand up to Yoshimi. All he could focus on was how happy he was that Ranma wasn't his brother, and by extension Genma wasn't his father. He wouldn't have minded Nodoka being his mother, since maybe then she'd stop trying to give him her phone number.
'And I thought the worse thing to happen to me was to become cursed to transform into a piglet!' Ryoga thought to himself, 'Heck, overall my life is just screwed up. I'm going to go to Ukyo's place and eat Okonomiyaki until I forget it all. Maybe I'll get fat and no one will want to marry me . . . I hope this isnt my mid-life crisis I'm having . . .'

To Be Continued . . .

Tune in next time for episode five Special Secrets! But what are the special secrets to be revealed?
Who was the sixth K-Fighter, waiting in the shadows? (FunFact: It's not the Moose!) What is this potentially diabolical plot Yoshimi is concocting? Who was Nabiki's mysterious overseas contact? What is this job Nabiki is about to take? Will Ryoga be happy about it? Will Nabiki be going to college at all? Where will she go? What will happen next? Will Ryoga get fat?!? The answers to some of that and more in chapter FIVE!