A/N: For those of you wondering the "Meanwhile" section in chapter 5 had no real point, it wasn't even scripted, I can say that I wrote it to represent how someone (the unnamed man) with everything will throw his life away over nothing (a missing remote control), but I'd be lying. I wrote it because I was bored.
Sorry, this chapter was painfully long. My mind is a confusing place to be, I felt I'd gone too long without answering most of the questions I was raising, and in fact simply raising more because I could. I'm a jerk. I tried to cram a bunch of stuff into one chapter, but it worked too well, or not well enough. Now Chapter 6 got cut to become 6 and 7, and I didn't think of a new title for 7 because I am a lazy person.
Chapter VI (that means 6)
Adult Decisions . . . (Part 1)
Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome both sat back, staring at their half empty glasses . . . well . . . Genma felt his was half full.
They'd stopped in at their favorite bar for a refreshing sip of beer. Just one sip, really! But then the pints were poured, it'd be wasteful not to finish them off. Just one pint, honestly, then it was off to Cat Café to inquire as to hiring Mousse, and Shampoo as mercenary students for the upcoming battle!
"Get me another one!" Genma cried, waving his mug at the bartender.
"This is your third one, sir." The bartender said, "You know I really cant let either of you drive home . . ."
"Not to worry!" Genma laughed, "We're walkers! Always have been. We walk everywhere! Great exercise!"
"Yup! Though you'd never tell by your gut, eh Saotome?" Soun chuckled.
"Heh-heh-heh, yeah, and to think I'm the one with a good lookin' wife."
"That I sleep with." Soun laughed.
"Yeah . . ." Genma frowned. "That woman! I don't care if she does want to feel young, how does sleeping with you help her to feel young? I'm tired of her being so promiscuous" Genma started to cry.
"Yeah . . . nice rack though." Soun said.
"You kidding? At her age, I'm shocked that they're not fake!" Genma chuckled, recovering from his tears.
"Oh yeah, and she does the most amazing thing with her mouth . . . I probably shouldn't have said that." The bartender said.
Genma's response was a loud "Oh good grief, you too!?" and then he was silent for a moment. Without warning he lunged for the bartender, Soun also lunged, but did so to catch Genma, who fell back onto his stool and moaned. "Oh who am I kidding?" He shrugged. He was obviously used to it by now.
"Eh . . . well now Saotome, don't you think we should be going?" Soun asked.
"Oh yes . . . better get going . . . tell me something Tendo . . . where are we going?"
"We were supposed to . . . look for fighters . . . to compete for us in the big tournament." Soun slurred.
"Right . . . so . . . lets go, Tendo." Genma nodded.
Soun maneuvered himself off his seat and towards the door, he looked back to make sure Genma was following him, and not attacking the bar tender when he bumped into something.
It was a person, he wore a jacket so long that it went down to his ankles, beyond that Soun was too drunk to recognize any other details.
The man fell back, and dropped a red bag. "I'm sorry!" Soun said, perhaps a little louder than he needed to, "here, let me help you up!"
"N-no, that's all right, don't touch me . . . I've gotta go." The man said, he looked terrified.
Soun frowned. Genma slapped him on the shoulder, "Quit making' trouble Tendo, we've gotta go see Cologne."
Soun nodded, but something didn't seem right. Still he followed Genma . . . where had that guy gone to?
He didn't travel far before he felt a little light headed–more so than normal that is–he fell to his knees and began to choke.
He felt as if his brain had been wrapped around a brick, sprayed with lemon and then hurled at brick wall. The hang over was kicking in a little early . . . or something. Genma laughed at Soun, then he fell to the ground in a swoon. Soun never did like being left out, so he followed suit.
"Shampoo cannot find her!" Shampoo complained.
Cologne stomped her foot in frustration.
"She cannot have gotten far. You know what to do when you find her." She said to Shampoo and Mousse. "Be on your toes, this is a serious assignment."
"Shampoo understands, great grandmother." Shampoo nodded.
"I will do all that I can to see this crisis averted." Mousse added his voice to the discussion.
"I am counting on you," she said, looking at Shampoo, then she turned to Mousse with a shudder "both of you."
"Your faith will be rewarded, elder, I can do this task." Mousse said, standing as if at attention.
"I have faith," she said, then because it made it easier to get the words out, she turned to Shampoo before finishing the sentence with a "in your abilities." It made it seem as if she were speaking to both of them.
She took a deep breath. How had the assassin figured out that it was Set? How had that halfwit figured out how to breathe? Cologne had been very careful to describe very vividly the involvement of the village, and she hadn't used Set's name at all.
She stomped her foot again. 'How did that girl figure it out?'
"Great Grandmother . . . why you not tell Ranma the truth?"
"It would have made no difference what I told them, only Kasumi might have been persuaded to assist us, and she would have been a hindrance."
"Let Shampoo ask, Shampoo get Ranma and Ryoga to help."
"Unnecessary. The time it would take to convince them is time wasted, and we've no time to waste. You know what to do." Cologne turned and leapt from roof top to roof top. 'Curse her! Curse her!' She thought. 'It's lunch time, all the customers we're losing to Ukyo over this . . . we must stop the madness!"
"We're going to lose all our customers to Cologne if we just let those wannabe ninja take care of the place." Konatsu huffed.
Ukyo cracked her knuckles and took a deep breath. "Sacrifices must be made if I'm gonna have any chance at all with Ranma-honey." She told herself. "If I can get Ryoga set up with Akane, I can move in on Ranma!"
"But you've tried this plan before, and it's never worked." Konatsu protested.
Ukyo scoffed at the beautiful boy. "Exactly! That's why this plan is so much better."
"Uh . . . what? It's the same plan, it's not really any different than the others so how could it be better?"
"It's different!" Ukyo cried
"Okay, so now it involves Akane's sister . . . which I think is a bad idea because Nabiki Tendo is supposed to be super intelligent or something."
"She just says that to intimidate other people." Ukyo scoffed. "I have to strike while the iron is hot, Yoshimi's got no body guards and Ryoga doesn't like her enough to stop me." Ukyo chuckled.
"So you think his undying gratitude is enough to make him dump Nabiki for Akane?" Konatsu gave her a questioning look.
"He was in love with Akane for a lot longer than he's been with Nabiki. I bet she's just blackmailing him for some reason."
"And if he really does love her?"
"Shouldn't matter."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Well let me put it this way . . . if I were being forced to date Tsubassa even though I loved Ranma-honey, and Ryoga saved me from said date and maybe stepped on Tsubassa while he was at it, then told me to date Kinnosuke to help him get Nabiki, even though I loved Ranma I'd gladly go along with it."
"Uh-huh . . . I'm confused, ma'am." Konatsu frowned.
"In summary; Yes, I do think Ryoga will do exactly as I say."
"If you say so." Konatsu sighed.
"That's right. I say so. Who is the brains in this outfit?"
"You of course." Konatsu sighed longingly.
"That's right, just leave everything to me. You man the post and be sure nothing happens while I'm away."
"Yes ma'am!" Konatsu saluted. Ukyo set off on her mission.
"This is so stupid." Ryoga grumbled.
"Oh don't be silly!" Yoshimi said.
"Look, Yoshimi, there's some things we've just got to talk about."
"Five." Yoshimi said firmly.
"Eh?"
"I refuse to have any more than five children, if we were to have six or more we would never have enough time for all of them!"
"Uh . . . okay . . ."
"Well I'm glad we got these issues out of the way, now for the practice wedding!" Yoshimi said.
"Uh, no, that's actually not what I wanted to talk about . . . at all."
"Hmm? Well then what did you want sweetums?"
"Well uh . . . you have to stop calling me sweetums."
"Oh is that all! Well no problem muffin!"
"No that's not all!" Ryoga protested. "I'm not too keen on you calling me muffin!"
"Oh, well how about Smooky?" The rich girl offered.
"No!"
"Lovums?" She tried.
"Never!"
"Bubble Gum!" Yoshimi cried.
"Nuh-what? Look, that's not the point!"
"Then what is?" Yoshimi asked.
"I . . . I . . . I cant remember now!" Ryoga groaned.
"Oh, silly Bubble Gum!" Yoshimi giggled.
Ryoga just sighed.
Suddenly he felt a powerful hand on his shoulder, forcing him to turn. There was . . . eh . . . someone familiar.
"Ryoga! How dare you?" It was a girl who looked sort of like Ukyo, only she was all dressed up like a girl, and far more so than Ukyo at her girliest. Her breasts seemed at least two cup sizes larger as well.
"Uh . . . what?" Ryoga scratched his head. "Who are you?"
"Wuh . . . who am I? Who am I!? How stupid are you!?" The girl demanded. "I'm . . ." she glanced sideways at Yoshimi, "Yukio."
"Yukio? Your name is familiar . . . so is your face . . . so I guess we must have met . . ." Ryoga said as he scratched his chin.
"Well then . . . would you kindly introduce her?" Yoshimi asked.
"Eh? Uh . . . Yoshimi, this is Yukio my eh . . . friend?"
"Fiancee." Yukio said firmly.
"Eh? My what? Um . . . are you sure?" Ryoga scratched his head. "We didn't meet in Vegas did we? Because Nabiki was just really ticked off at me back then for getting addicted to slot machines, but when she told me to go play in parking lot, somehow I just found my way into that casino, I didn't mean to be there I swear, but anything I might have done or said to pay off my debt--"
"Ryoga . . . how could you forget me?" Yukio sighed. "You're coming with me, we've got a lot of catching up to do."
"Not another one!" Ryoga sighed. "Powers that be, I swear I'll never tease Ranma again if you stop making new fiancees pop out'a the ground every ten days!"
"Hey, wait a moment, you cant just--" Yoshimi began but Yukio just backhanded her and sent her flying.
"I can and I will! Now silence you trailer park queen!" Yukio cried as she dragged Ryoga away.
Ryoga felt tears of joy well up in his eyes. He turned to Yukio and said "You're my hero!"
Nabiki sat back watching TV. Dad was out looking for new star pupils, Ranma and Akane were missing, and Kasumi had gone to the market for something she'd forgotten to buy that she really needed to prepare lunch, therefore there was also nothing to eat unless Nabiki were to expel the energy to get up and make something herself, and that was exactly what Kasumi was supposed to be for in the first place!
There was nothing to do and no one to do it with. Normally she would pass the time in bed (or on a couch . . . or table . . . or the floor) with Ryoga, but he wasn't home either so that plan was foiled.
All that was left was to watch these anime reruns.
Harro Yuri had just finished self destructing his Gundarn for the umpteen hundredth time when the door bell rang. A little thankful for the distraction Nabiki got up to answer it, and hopefully find the solution to her boredom.
Unfortunately it was Kuno.
"Nabiki Tendo, I–"
"Akane isnt here, neither is Ranma, and the pigtailed girl moved to France."
"France! I must go–er . . . I am here to see you Nabiki Tendo."
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "I've been gone for months, I haven't got any pictures to sell you, Kuno-baby, and I don't think it's very healthy anymore, not that it was back in highschool, but legally you're an adult now, I think you can get arrested for this sort of thing."
Kuno smiled his charming idiot smile. "Lovely Nabiki Tendo . . . the only picture I have come here to see is you . . . the perfect picture of innocence and serenity."
"Yep, that's me Kuno-baby, innocent and serene." Nabiki said with a raised eyebrow. "What do you really want?"
"The pleasure of your company." Kuno said, running his fingers through his hair as he were trying to advertise his own conditioner, which Nabiki noted he might be quite good at.
"Well . . . what'd you have in mind?" Nabiki asked, mostly seeing this as a possible cure for boredom, but also a chance to get some money (in the form of cash, or gifts, either was good) from her rich friend.
"An enchanting boat ride for two, followed by a picnic in the park catered by the finest gourmet chefs!"
'That sounds really good . . .' she frowned. "Are you asking me out? Like on a date?"
"Of course. You're shocked, and speechless, I know, but this day was fated, you knew in your heart that one day I–"
Nabiki frowned. "Kuno-baby, how can I put this? Uh . . . you're an idiot, and I'm engaged."
"I know. But I, Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno must have you by my side . . . we've been friends–"
"Acquaintances." Nabiki corrected.
"Associates." Kuno offered, Nabiki nodded acceptance. "We have been associates for a long time, Nabiki Tendo. I know you better than he ever will. You know I can give you the things you want, while he can offer you, at best a small home and late bill payments."
"I think we'll manage." Nabiki frowned. "Why does no one believe me? Is it so hard to believe that I've found something more imported than money?" Nabiki had to force the word out of her mouth.
"Did you say 'imported'?" Kuno asked.
"Important!" Nabiki clarified, she was really working on that problem of hers. "Ryoga is more important."
"Than what?"
"Money, you fool!"
"Say it all together in one sentence." Kuno smiled.
"Ryoga is more important to me than money! Ha, I did it!" Nabiki said with pride.
"Well . . . what about jewelry?" Kuno asked, unleashing a small box, he opened it to reveal a pair of beautiful diamond earrings. "Is Ryoga more important to you than these?"
"Ryoga, who?" Nabiki asked, almost having an orgasm. "Uh, I mean that's . . . nothing." She said.
"Well these 'nothings' are made of twenty four carrot gold or something, the jeweler said that was supposed to be good, the gold is coupled with the most magnificent diamonds in the world, any larger and they'd give you neck problems. They're yours if you'll but spend one afternoon in my company, dear Nabiki Tendo."
"Why are you so interested in me all of the sudden?" Nabiki asked, the earrings had thrown her off, otherwise she'd have remembered the things she'd told Yoshimi and put two and two together.
"I have been examining my life . . . though there are very few things that I do not take pride in, one of those few is my alienation of you, lovely Nabiki Tendo. How could I be so blind? All this time I've wanted Akane, and the pigtailed girl, but here you are, standing there, loving me as you do, as so many ladies do . . . you are so beautiful, how could I not notice before?"
"Good question. Now leave." Nabiki commanded, feeling that if he stuck around any longer she might do something she'd regret. 'It's a harmless date.' She thought to herself. 'Those earrings could probably feed a third world country . . . and they're mine if I just go out with him . . . nothing else to do, how could it hurt?' She wondered.
"Nabiki . . . just one day by my side, it is all that I ask. If it is not the best day of your life, you may keep the earrings and we will go back to being mere friends, as we were before. But if you enjoy yourself, all I ask is that you consider seeing me again."
"I need to think about it." Nabiki said, then mentally chided herself, 'You fool! Don't say that! Be firm, like every other time you deal with him, send him away, or find some way to trick him into giving you the earrings without the date! Remember, you're engaged to Ryoga! You are in love with Ryoga!'
"No one need ever know . . . but us." Kuno offered.
'How true!' Nabiki thought. "Wouldn't you rather give those to Akane?" She asked. 'Then I can get them when she throws them away in disgust.'
"I admire Akane Tendo's masculine prowess, but in you I admire the stunning beauty, the beauty that swallows me whole! In truth these earrings cannot compete with your beauty, but they can hope to benefit from it, their beauty coupled with your own would cease the tears of babes!"
"Well . . ." Nabiki frowned. "All right. Just one date . . . but you cannot tell Ryoga, and I'm not having sex with you."
"On our first outing? Perish the thought!" Kuno cried in perhaps feigned innocence.
"Blue Thunder in position." Tatewaki's voice came to Yoshimi in her earpiece. "Eagle has landed, I repeat: the eagle has landed."
"What did that mean again?" Yoshimi asked.
"Whore Goddess is secured."
"Excellent work, Eagle One, unfortunately Love Paladin has escaped with a Peasant." Yoshimi pouted, 'Peasant' was the code name for outside, or unplanned interference.
"Say again?"
"Target Love Paladin has been kidnaped by some bimbo, slut, tramp, whore!" Yoshimi interpreted. She took a deep breath to keep from losing her cool. "Do not worry, our plans will continue, I was prepared for this. Puppet Master, move into sector nine and be prepared to intercept."
"Sector nine? But we're in sector three headed for two!" Tatewaki protested.
"Sector nine is the park, if you recall, I want her in sector nine by fourteen hundred. Puppet Master, you will wait in sector nine, and be ready to intercept Whore Goddess."
"Hey, this whole cloak and dagger thing is neat, really, but out of curiosity, Whore Goddess is Nabiki, right?" Kinnosuke asked.
"Yes, exactly, and please stick to the code names."
"Well why'd she get such a dumb code name?" Kinnosuke asked.
"Long story . . . and I do not like her." Yoshimi sighed. Then she had another idea! "Move into position, I am cutting communications for one, I repeat, one hour, fend for yourselves until then.
"Hey, agent Blue Thunder, you wanna hear a funny joke?" Kinnosuke asked.
"Are you daft man? I am supposed to be on a date! She's going to notice if I keep speaking to myself!"
"Right. Well anyway, when is it time to fix your girlfriend's watch?"
Yoshimi sighed and cut off communications. "Just don't screw anything up for one hour, that's all I ask!" She raised a loosely clenched fist to the heavens, "Ryoga will be mine!" She declared.
Mousse shook his head as it came time to part ways with beloved Shampoo. Because of the mission they'd been together for a short part of the journey, (they walked across a crosswalk together) but now it was over. He had to get his feelings out, he had to get them out now!
"Shampoo . . . that was a lovely walk we've just had." He said. "I uh . . . well I might not come back from this one, if indeed the mission is a perilous as the elder would have us believe. I want you to know . . . I truly care for you. With all of my heart."
Shampoo said, "Shampoo knows . . . Shampoo . . . has always known . . . and yet . . . Shampoo no care. Stupid Mousse." a wicked grin played across her face.
"Wait Shampoo! Hear me out!" Mousse said, removing his glasses so he didn't look like a geek, grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her to face him. "I love you! I love you with all of my heart! I want to marry you, to be with you forever! I know not what the future may bring, but I know with you by my side it will be grand! What do you say? Can you understand where I am coming from? Do these words mean nothing to you?"
"You make an old woman feel young again." The old lady who keeps watering her plants said, and though Mousse couldn't see it, she was blushing and batting her eye lashes at him.
He promptly let her go and looked around (like that'd help him) for Shampoo. "Shampoo? Shampoo!? Where did you go?"
Mousse frowned. If this really was such a dangerous mission, this might be the last time he ever saw her, granted for him that wasn't saying much.
"And that's all I ask." Ukyo smiled.
"Right . . ." Ryoga nodded.
"You got confused." She huffed.
"No, I got it all. You want me to dump Nabiki--"
"Temporarily! You can even tell her it's temporary." Ukyo threw in.
"Right, 'temporarily' leave Nabiki. Go along with this insane plan to help you get your hooks on Ranma . . . in exchange for this, you'll keep Yoshimi off my back."
"That's correct." She laughed.
"You realize Yoshimi's revenge will be swift and unjust." Ryoga pointed out.
"What's she going to do, sue me?" Ukyo scoffed. "There's nothing she can do."
"Nothing she can do . . . legally." Ryoga sighed.
"Well yeah. Do you think she'd go outside the law?"
"'Law' is such a small concept. Yoshimi is unpredictable and violent, she has little use for laws." Ryoga said.
"Well I'm willing to risk that if you're willing to help me with what I want." Ukyo said. "Otherwise you can still make it in time for the rehearsal wedding."
"This isnt something I can just decide." He grumbled.
"Oh Ryoga! Don't you want to see me in my bathing suit?" Ukyo squeaked, changing her voice to mimic Yoshimi.
Ryoga shuddered. "You can just hit her again. I'd like to see that . . . maybe break her neck or something like that, put her out of my misery" He said darkly, then shook his head, "I didn't mean that by the way."
"Of course not. You're not the overly violent type . . . 'least when it comes to girls . . . eh, real girls, not Ranma-honey. Of course when it does come to Ran-chan you're the excessively violent type." Ukyo shrugged. "Anyway, I can snap her neck if you want. All part of the deal."
"But I don't want anyone breaking her neck!" Ryoga protested.
"But I just want you to know . . . that I can." Ukyo said, tapping her nose, though Ryoga didn't know what the gesture meant.
"I am through with the 'snapping of the neck' conversation." Ryoga said firmly. "I liked you better as Yukio."
"You liked me in a dress you mean?" Ukyo raised an eyebrow.
"Oh no, I've seen you in a dress before. I just liked it better when you were some new possibly homicidal fiancee who won major points by back handing Yoshimi. That's all."
Ukyo just sighed.
"This one's stable, he's gonna make it."
"Don't jinx it, we don't know what we're dealing with yet!"
"But the other one stabilized, I think they're in the clear."
"Where's the doctor?"
"He's bedding one of the new nurses. The bimbo that told us at lunch how she's never going to fall for his lies and charms."
"You're one to judge. Didn't he sleep with you too, during your first month?"
"I needed the money to pay my student loans, and anyway he slept with you on your first week, so you shouldn't talk."
"But he said he loved me!"
"And you believed him . . . how sweet . . . idiot."
"What a pair we make."
"Hey, I think this one is waking up!"
"Is he supposed to do that? Darn it isn't the doctor finished with that tramp yet?"
Genma's eye's opened slowly, everything was hazy, so he blinked a few times. There were two young, attractive women dressed all in white standing over him.
'I've gone to heaven . . .' he decided. 'But if I cup their breasts . . . will I be cast out?'
"Sir, can you hear me?" One of the women–a cute brunette with a nice rack–said in about as loud a tone as one is allowed to take in a hospital.
"Can I see my grand mother?" Genma asked. "I haven't seen her since she died twelve years ago."
"What? Uh . . . is he delirious?" A blonde nurse (Equally attractive as the first, but with shorter hair) frowned.
"I don't know!" The brunette snapped, "Where is the doctor? He must have finished that tramp off by now!"
"Uh . . . well sir there's nothing we can do if your grandmother is dead." Blonde frowned.
"For twelve years yet! We aint no psychic connection, you gotta be dead to talk to the dead!"
"Am I not?" Genma raised an eyebrow.
"No sir, you're still alive, for the moment, you and twenty six others were in the vicinity of what might have been a terrorist attack, you inhaled a small amount of some sort of unknown chemical."
"And the others?" Genma asked.
"All dead except for one, a man found nearby you, he's stable too but you're the only one to regain consciousness." Brunette said calmly.
"Tell me nurse . . . the other survivor . . . is his name, Tendo?" Genma asked.
"No. Not according to his identification, sir, I'm sorry." The blonde nurse said with a frown.
Soun was . . . dead?
That had to be a mistake! What calamity could befall them that would spare Genma Saotome but not his comrade, his friend Soun Tendo?
Though he felt tears at the edge of his eyes, Saotome clenched his fists, he would stand firm, and shed no tears, after all they'd been through, Tendo deserved that much respect at least.
No. Tendo deserved more. 'I swear to you, my fallen friend, I will watch over and protect your daughters as if they were my own, and I swear I wont throw them into any pits full of hungry cats, or barter their hands in marriage for free dinners. And I'll make sure Ranma fixes the wall, I know you would have wanted it that way. And by my honor, I will see the Koruda School of Combat smashed so that the Tendo Training Hall can stand triumphant, I'll do whatever it takes!' Genma thought, fists clenched in silent proclamation to the heavens, where he hoped his friend looked down on him in satisfaction.
"The other survivor is still unconscious, he's in that bed right across from you, perhaps you can recognize him, does the name 'Soun Train' mean anything to you?" Brunette offered.
Genma looked over to see none other than Soun Tendo lying unconscious, attached to life support machines. He leapt out of bed, stomped over to his 'fallen' comrade, grabbed him by the collar and shook him violently. "Wake up, you! I cant believe you actually carry your fake I.D. in lieu of your real one, you nearly gave me a heart attack you freak!"
"D-don't do that!" Blonde cried.
"We're gonna have another fatality on our hands! We don't get paid extra for those, y'know!" Brunette cried.
"Wake up you lazy toad! We've got a mission, remember? Recruit the fighters to combat the school of . . . well, combat! We're not going to let this Koruda assassination attempt stop us!"
"Eh? 'Sass'nation? Karooda?" Soun blinked a few times, then opened his eyes fully, he grabbed Genma by the arms, "Assassination? The Koruda School of Combat will suffer!"
"Holy heck, a full recovery?" Blonde nurse gasped.
"Off to glory!" Genma cried.
"To victory!" Tendo agreed, the two men headed for the hospital door, ready to bolt so as to avoid the no doubt expensive medical bill, when both fell to their feet, unable to continue moving.
"Sirs, I don't suggest you try to move, we're going to have to hold you here for tonight so you can recover, besides we need to run tests to see what happened to you!" Blonde said.
"Besides, you need the doctor's permission before you an leave, and he's not here." Brunette scoffed. She turned to the blonde, "The new girl cant be taking this long, she looked like such a feather weight . . . do you suppose he's seeing Tanba again?"
"I really don't want to know." Blonde said crossly, "I don't care, and I don't know why you do."
"It's unprofessional!" Brunette complained.
"So is talking about it in front of our patients."
"We should set up some sort of warning system for all the new nurses, look out, the doctor wants to do you in a supply closet!" Brunette continued.
"Excuse me–" Genma piped up, but they ignored him.
"But no one warned me, and a lot of the new girls are after him anyway for his looks and his cash. Let them get popped and dropped, if anyone asks we'll call it a hazing ritual." Blonde scoffed.
"Look, this is fascinating but–"
"Wait a minute, Tanba isn't working today!" Blonde said, punching her fist into her palm.
"Not at the hospital you mean." Brunette giggled, and Blonde joined in.
"I'm really sorry," Genma tried again, but again they cut him off.
"So that new girl must be really good." Blonde said.
"Tramp. Hey, couldn't we use a 'cost of living' raise?" Brunette asked, Blonde made a face.
"My student loans are all paid, I wont even consider it!" Blonde protested.
"Ladies!" Genma shouted!
"Yes, what can we do for you?" Blonde asked with a raised eyebrow.
"SHUT UP!" The bald martial artist shouted even louder.
"Er–I think what he means," Soun said, "is that, as fascinating as your personal lives are, this scene has gone on entirely too long without advancing the plot, though we now know a great deal about you two–aside from your actual names–and the conditions you work in, your feelings for your co-workers and the like, in truth no one cares. Also we'd like to make a phone call to our chillens, so as to get back to the problems at hand, namely our problems, because–and I mean no offense by saying this–but you two just aren't that important."
"Oh pshaw, why didn't you just say so earlier?" Blonde said, handing Soun a telephone.
Genma slammed his head against a wall to induce an involuntary sleep.
"Hmm . . . I wonder where Nabiki has gone to." Akane said.
"Hmm . . . I don't care." Ranma said as he rummaged through the refrigerator.
"I think we're alone Ranma!" Akane gasped.
"So what?" Ranma scoffed.
"Well . . . we could do what other couples do . . . when they're alone." Akane said shyly.
"All right!" Ranma cried in triumph as he found one of his dad's half-finished binto boxes (a rare find indeed) "What's that Akane?" he asked as he popped a shrimp into his mouth.
"Nothing." Akane said frostily.
'What'd I do now?' Ranma wondered. "Did you want the shrimp or somethin'?" He asked.
"No Ranma . . . no I didn't." Akane sighed.
"Oh good, 'cause this's all mine!" Ranma chuckled. Just then the phone rang, Akane answered it.
"Hello? Yes? Yes? Yes? Yes. Yes? Yes! What? Yes. Yes. No! No! No! Yes. Okay, I love, bye, bye!" She hung up. "That was my dad, he wants us to track down Shampoo, Ukyo, Mousse and Ryoga to enlist their help for the martial arts tournament, then bring them to the hospital, where he is for some reason."
"Oh great." Ranma sighed. "Ryoga and Nabiki are gone, they could be in Hokkaido for all we know."
"Well don't worry about them, the rest shouldn't take too long, you can go get Ukyo, and I'll go get Shampoo and Mousse, we'll meet back here and then head out together to find Ryoga." Akane said simply.
'I love it when she makes plans that ruin my day . . . oh wait, I don't love that! I hate it!' Ranma thought. "You go ahead, I want to finish this." Ranma said, Akane scoffed and left mumbling to herself.
Ranma finished the binto, watched a quick TV show, then got up to leave, just as he reached the door, the door bell rang.
'Akane?' he wondered. He reached for the door when the bell rang again. 'Yoshimi?' He thought. The bell rang twice more.
"It's Lotion!" He gasped in horror, the bell rang a few more times.
"Open up, please! It's raining hard!"
'Okay, not Lotion, unless llamas can talk." Ranma said, reassured, he opened the door, and was very surprised at who he saw.
The boat ride had been wonderful, and the picnic–which was wonderfully extravagant–was quite good too, though it had started to rain, they were under the partial protection of a large tree, and Kuno's ninja butler had a large sun umbrella ready at the first sign of trouble.
Overall it was a nice afternoon, really she was wondering why they hadn't done this sooner.
"Those earrings truly do look marvelous on you." Kuno said longingly.
"How would you know? I haven't put them on."
"I am envisioning it. And you look lovely." He said. "You are the east, and you are the sun, for yours is a beauty incomparable."
"Does your jaw ever stop moving?" Nabiki asked neutrally, she was rather enjoying the compliments, though of course she was ever suspicious of what could cause this change in Kuno.
"For you, Nabiki Tendo I would move the stars, or stop them from moving, I would stop the earth from spinning to make this day last forever, so that I might never have to return you to the lost boy."
Nabiki shook her head slowly. "You know bringing him up, reminding me that I'm engaged to him does not help you at all, you're losing points."
"How many do I have left?" Kuno asked.
"Hmm . . ." Nabiki did some mental math. "About sixty four."
"Out of one hundred?" Kuno chuckled. "It may be a D, but it is a passing grade none the less."
"Well I'm not sure what that's even supposed to mean, but I'm sure it was very romantic, so sixty five." Nabiki said with a smile.
Nothing in life had to be complicated, people chose whether or not to make it that way. This situation could have been a complicated one, here she, Nabiki Tendo, was on a date with a boy she'd never really had any overpowering romantic feelings for, enjoying herself. True she was getting fabulous rewards out of it, but the fact was she now had the earrings in her pocket, and she was still there with Kuno, enjoying his company.
But did that mean she loved Ryoga any less? Not at all.
She didn't love Kuno it was just a first date, and one she'd been bribed into coming on. But she loved his money, and for the moment she just happened to enjoy his company. Ryoga would understand if she ever chose to tell him, and if he didn't, big deal, she was the one in control of the relationship, not him.
So in summary, she got neat stuff, got a cure for her boredom that didn't involve watching Ranma suffer painful beatings from Akane–as fun as that was–and best of all, got to be the center of attention as the entire populace of Nerima it seem, watched the rich young man court this girl who, they probably thought, looked as poor as a pauper. There was no down side she could see. Not yet anyway.
"Eh Master Kuno," ninja butler Sasuke piped up, "I hate to interrupt, but the rain wont let up, and you do have another appointment, if you remember."
"Sasuke," Kuno said with an annoyed glance, "I am a little busy, whatever my other engagement is, cancel it!"
"That is . . . uh . . . impossible. Remember sir, you had the day planned out?"
"To hades with these plans you speak of!" Kuno cried.
"No, that's all right." Nabiki said, "I should get home too."
"Then we will take you there right away!" Kuno said.
"Uh, no, I don't really think that rickshaw was built for two passengers." Nabiki said, remembering the uncomfortable–for her at least–ride in the ninja-powered cart. "I'll just walk home."
"Nonsense!" Kuno cried, "Not without an umbrella at least, if you caught a cold, we might never go on another date. Sasuke! Sasuke!!"
"I'm right here Master Kuno." The little man said.
"Go buy Nabiki Tendo an umbrella. A nice one, mind you." He looked at Nabiki, "Any color preferences?"
"Green?" Nabiki offered.
"A green one." Kuno nodded to Sasuke, he set off to accomplish the task.
"Stay here with me until he gets back," Kuno said simply, "it should not take him more than a minute, but a minute with you is superior to any amount of time spent apart . . ."
"Enough," Nabiki sighed halfheartedly, "I am engaged, you know."
"Tell me . . . at the risk of losing points, Nabiki Tendo . . . does he ever tell you that he loves you?"
"Sure."
"Does he look you in the eyes?"
"Uh . . .yeah." Nabiki said, raising an eyebrow at Kuno. "Where are you going with this?"
"Does he take you in his arms, and kiss you with all the passion of his being?"
"Well, if that sentence made any sort of sense–" She was cut off when Kuno took her in his arms and pushed his lips against hers, her eyes shot open in surprise but he held her in place as if his arms had become stone. Slowly she allowed her eyes to close, as she became lost in the kiss, her heart pounding in her chest, and then suddenly it ended.
"I'm back Master Kuno!" Sasuke cried, he was soaking wet, but he had a brand new umbrella in his hands.
Kuno looked up with only half the frustration Nabiki was feeling. "You are as prompt as ever, Sasuke." He said through gritted teeth.
"Thank you, Master Kuno." The ninja said happily. "I have the umbrella." He added, offering it to Nabiki in an almost solemn manner.
"So I see." Nabiki said with a forced smile. "It's lovely, thank you."
"We shall have to do this again, Nabiki Tendo." Kuno said.
"Absolutely." Nabiki said without thinking.
"Until next time . . ." Kuno said
"Mm-hmm." Nabiki nodded, deciding it would be best if she just left.
Kuno sat impatiently in the ninja-powered-vehicle.
Yoshimi had offered him sound advice, and he was glad he'd taken it, he did not presume to understand her plan, he certainly did not want to try.
But curse that girl, what he wouldn't give for just five minutes more!
"Blue Thunder reporting," he said crossly, "target is proceeding home through sector nine, as planned."
"Good work, Blue Thunder," Yoshimi said, "You know what to do next."
"Yes." Kuno said.
"Well then do it. And again, good work." Yoshimi said, she sounded ecstatic, "I love it when a plan comes together!"
To Be Continued . . .
Next Time: Next time Akane confronts Cologne when she learns that Mousse and Shampoo have gone, Nabiki gets talked into going out with Kinnosuke, Yoshimi and her evil will be given a new weapon with which to tempt Ryoga, Ushio will attempt to understand how his students could have failed, Ryoga finally reads Lo-Chun's letter and finds himself completely confused, Kasumi might know more about Nabiki's daily activities than she's letting on and . . . uh . . . just read it!
