Chapter 30: Operation Tribute Act

Central Officer Bradford took his seat next to Dr Vahlen in time to watch the next act performing in the first monthly XCOM Music Night. This had been one of the suggestions to raise staff morale in-between operations.

Bradford had arrived as Corporal Hammerstein and Corporal Rodgers were onstage doing a duet.

Whenever I feel afraid

I hold my BZZ erect

And whistle a happy tune

So no one will suspect

I'm aBZZ.

"What on earth are they singing?" Bradford leant across to whisper to Dr Vahlen.

"It's a variation on a well-known song with words deliberately censored" Dr Vahlen replied. "I believe the intention is for humorous effect"

The result of this deception

Is very strange to tell

For when I BZZ the people I BZZ

I BZZ myself as well!

"Thank you everyone!" Corporal Hammerstein announced. "Next up will be a rendition of 'My Grandfathers CBZZk'"

"I suddenly remembered I have a lot of alien landing sites to survey" Bradford announced.

The Central Officers attempt at leaving was swiftly halted as Dr Vahlen grasped her hand around his arm. "Stay, at least for the next one" Vahlen said. "The lads from Xenobiology are performing a quartet"

Bradford and Vahlen watched as the next performers came onto the stage.

My grandfather's cBZZk was too large for the shelf

So it stood ninety years on the floor

It was taller by half than the old man himself

Though it weighed not a pennyweight more

Despite Dr Vahlens insistence Bradford made a quiet exit to resume his survey for alien targets. It seemed like a more palatable option than listening to the next song on the list, 'Look at My Enormous BZZ'.

XCOM Rule 630: All songs performed at XCOM music night are to be pre-approved by at least two members of the Command staff.

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The whole time I was writing this resisted the urge to turn this chapter into a panto piece. Because nowadays that kind of humour is rather dated and unfunny isn't it boys and girls? Oh, yes it is.

(This is all being recorded, you know. What a waste of perfectly good data storage)