Author's Temporary Note: I'll get rid of this in the revision. But for now, forgive the lateness of this update. I could make excuses, at least half of which would be true, but odds are you'd only be further annoyed. This chapter was supposed to go up a few days ago, but there were some problems uploading it. However in the meantime I ironed out the final scenes of chapter 10 so now you get both at once, so be happy and forgive me!
Charlotte's Sequel!
Chapter IX (Already)
A Rather Blustery Day . . .
Ryoga looked over the pictures, his mind raced trying to figure out what this meant!
How could she?
How could she!
How in the name of all that was good could she . . . think these would bother him in the least? "Are you blackmailing me or something?" He demanded, Yoshimi looked as confused as he was, "So you took pictures of me and you, and me and Uky--er I mean Yukio . . . big deal! I mean the camera didn't really get my good side but still . . "
Yoshimi snatched the envelope and gawked.
"This is not right! It's not supposed to be like this! This is all wrong!" The rich girl cried.
"So . . . can we get on with our fight then?" Ranma asked.
"You might as well, I have to sort this out. I'll be back once I do, Bubble Gum . . . please don't misunderstand my intentions for these pictures . . . I was going to uh . . . make a scrap book! Yes, that's it"
"Whatever." Ryoga scoffed, Yoshimi scurried out the door. He shrugged. "Crazy woman." He sighed.
"No kidding. Why does she keep calling you 'Bubble Gum?' What the heck's wrong with her"
Ryoga sighed and shook his head. "First, she's stupid. Second . . . well if you can figure out what's wrong with that girl you're a better man than I"
"I don't need to find the answer to one of life's greatest riddles to prove I'm better than you, I can just kick yer butt right now t'prove it." Ranma sneered, and the battle was on!
Yoshimi thought long and hard about what might have happened, and who the blame belonged to. Had she and Kinnosuke switched photos accidentally? How could that have happened? She had handled both envelopes, she had given Kinnosuke his, he'd looked at them, shown them to her as he called them useless, and put the envelope in his back pocket. Was it her fault, or could he have switched them?
Curses! Curse everything! She had to find him and get his envelope back before he showed it to Nabiki, who knew what the consequences of those actions might be! But where to begin looking?
Kinnosuke was not far in fact, though as she ran off in search of him Yoshimi managed to miss him completely. True to his threat he had decided to steal Nabiki away from that idiot Kuno and her lost boy lover.
While Kuno perceived Nabiki's not showing up as a sign that she'd been kidnapped, and had gone to arrange a search party, Kinnosuke had decided that the best place to begin the search for Nabiki would have to be her home.
He practically skipped up to the door, a bouquet of roses hidden behind his back, he knocked on the door.
Nabiki's older sister answered it and smiled politely at him. "Can I help you"
"Why yes you can, I'm looking for Nabiki, is she home?" Kinnosuke asked.
"I think she's up in her room with Akane . . . but I don't know if it's appropriate that she have visitors, she's been uh . . . misbehaving lately . . ." Kasumi said thoughtfully. Kinnosuke knew how to handle these situations, had planned for it even. He whipped out one of the roses, he presented it to Kasumi who took it with a raised eyebrow. "A rose for you, with petals as soft and red as your beautiful lips, but be careful, I wouldn't want you to prick one of your delicate fingers on a thorn. Fingers of pure alabaster, ivory, silk and other such precious, pure things." He said with a wink. "Are you . . . absolutely sure I cant see Nabiki"
Kasumi's cheeks turned red as she admired the rose, she stepped aside, "Up the stairs, second door on the left." She said simply.
"Thank you, I know." Kinnosuke winked again and skipped off towards the stairs.
"How do you know where my sister's bedroom is?" Kasumi wondered, Kinnosuke decided not to go into that rather embarrassing answer and simply quickened his pace up the stairs, he reached the door with a little sign that said "Nabiki" on it, he knocked twice--like a gentleman--and waited for a response, but it was Nabiki's little sister who answered.
"Oh no! Let me guess, you're here because she agreed to pose nude for your magazine!" Akane scoffed.
"What? Of course not." Kinnosuke gasped, and tried to look appalled by the idea, though he found it pleasantly stimulating. "I simply came to see your sister. I don't suppose you could give us a few moments alone could you?" Kinnosuke asked.
Nabiki's expression made it clear that she didn't want her sister to leave, which concerned Kinnosuke because either it meant he'd have a much harder time getting Nabiki into bed, or he'd have to satisfy two women at once and it was simply too early in the day to be exhausting that kind of energy.
"I don't think it'd be proper for my sister to be alone in her room with a boy. Especially since she's engaged"
"I heard about that, and I'm happy for her." Kinnosuke nodded, and whipped out another rose, "You're engaged too, aren't you? He's unworthy you know . . . unworthy of your fair eyes, your beautiful voice . . . I won't be too long, I just came to talk . . . you know you've got such pretty eyes, they shine with intelligence and beauty . . . maybe I could have a talk with you sometime about . . . what love really is"
Akane blushed and shyly took the rose, "Sh-shure." She said and she wandered off.
'Success!' Kinnosuke thought, now he was alone with Nabiki, he came inside her room and closed the door behind him, he smiled at Nabiki and she let out an exasperated sigh, she rolled her eyes.
"Hey Nabi-chan," he said, "I came by to see if you were all right, and to apologize, I'm really, really sorry, I must have waited for you at the wrong place"
"And you've come to get your money back." Nabiki reasoned.
"No, no, no!" Kinnosuke cried, "You keep it, as proof of my sincere apology"
"It's two hundred thousand yen . . . you're just giving me two hundred thousand yen?" Nabiki gave him an odd look.
"Uh . . . yeah." Kinnosuke struggled to get the words out. True it wasn't really his money, but Harume Yoshmi's, however two hundred thousand yen was a lot to just give away to his rival, even if he was trying to win her over.
Nabiki shrugged. "Fine then. I accept your apology . . . now go awa--"
Before she could complete the sentence Kinnosuke revealed the rest of the bouquet, one dozen beautiful red roses, and offered them to Nabiki. "Accept this too? Please, Nabi-chan?" He said.
"How'd you get these?" Nabiki asked.
"Why, I bought them just for you . . . and to get through your sisters." Kinnosuke lied. It was true he'd gotten them for Nabiki, but he hadn't actually bought them, rather he'd charmed the girl at the vender to give him fifteen roses in exchange for a date. He was confident Nabiki would approve.
"Buying me flowers now? You must really be sorry." Nabiki shrugged.
"Actually, I was sort of hoping . . . you'd let me repair my shameful mistake and take you out again. Would you like to go ice skating"
"I try to stay away from ice rinks, Mikado would probably be there and make me eat strawberries again . . . " Nabiki said darkly.
"O--ka--y." Kinnosuke said. "How about the good old fashioned traditional date, the movies"
"While Ryoga and I weren't exactly banned from that place for life, one hundred years is a long time." She noted his confused expression, and explained, "We snuck into a movie, got caught and I dared the guard to arrest us and . . . well he did"
"I thought they could only throw you out, I didn't know they had the power to actually arrest people." Kinnosuke said.
"That's exactly what I thought!" Nabiki cried.
"I'm curious, is there any place at all in this city where you haven't made some freakish enemy?" Kinnosuke laughed.
"You know now that I think of it . . . I don't think there is." Nabiki shrugged. "You can go now"
Kinnosuke shook his head, "Come on Nabi-chan, do you really hate me so much? Work with me, where can we go together where we don't need to worry about being arrested or forced to eat delicious fruits"
"Kinnosuke, I'm not going anywhere with you, I'm engaged I cant just be dating every one who shows up on my door step"
"I see . . . so you love this guy, eh"
"Yes." Nabiki said firmly. Then not so firmly, "I'm uh . . . pretty sure"
"He loves you too?" Kinnosuke said, disbelieving. It was the perfect time to spring his trap.
"I'm certain of it." Nabiki nodded.
"I'm sorry Nabi-chan, but I'm not so sure." Kinnosuke said, revealing to her the envelope containing the pictures of her boyfriend with Yoshimi and that other girl. He just hoped that she'd buy it.
Nabiki looked over the pictures, her expression went from neutral, to an odd concern, then to complete rage, finally she sighed resignation. "Shocking, aren't they?" Kinnosuke said in a comforting tone.
"How'd you get these"
"I am aquainted with one, Hikaru Gosunkugi." Kinnosuke shrugged.
"He'll be breathing through a straw by this time tomorrow!" Nabiki promised, slamming the envelope down on her desk, though Kinnosuke doubted she'd actually brutalize Gosunkugi herself, he didn't doubt she knew people who would. "What's your price?" She demanded.
He licked his lips in confusion. "Price? Nabi-chan I . . ." without really meaning to he glanced at the pictures on her desk, to his surprise they were actually of Nabiki kissing Kuno, not her boyfriend being abducted by Yoshimi! He grinned wickedly realizing that she thought he was blackmailing her with them. Too good! Instead of making her boyfriend seem like a villain he could simply remind her of what a villain she really was! "I . . . would never dream of asking too much of you." Kinnosuke's smile was ear to ear. "Just . . . a little date and maybe a kiss like you gave him"
"Like he gave me! He kissed me!" Nabiki cried.
"I don't think it really matters who kissed who." Kinnosuke shrugged, "What matters is what your future husband will think if he gets these pictures"
"You rat." Nabiki scowled.
"Don't be that way Nabi-chan, I'm your friend . . . but I'd like us to be more than that, for the time we'll have together anyway, before we go off to college"
"I'm not going to college." Nabiki scoffed.
"See? I wont be able to see you except on holidays, I need you now. If we don't do this, wont you be looking back the rest of your life wondering 'what if'? Let's not wonder Nabi-chan, I know you'll like me better than either one of them." Kinnosuke said.
Nabiki lowered her head. "I'd rather be left to wonder. And if you cant see me every day, well that's too bad because we don't really see each other every day now anyway, I haven't seen you all summer and you're not necessarily in stitches"
"On the outside." Kinnosuke said softly. "I've missed you so terribly, these feelings have welled up inside me and made themselves known. I have to have you, I'll do whatever it takes . . . even blackmail, though I'd hoped it wouldn't come to that"
Nabiki shrugged in submission. "Maybe you are a worthy rival . . ." She sighed.
"I'd be nothing without you . . ." He smiled.
"Then we meet at six." Nabiki said firmly.
"I was thinking we could leave now." Kinnosuke said, not wanting her to stand him up again.
"And I was thinking if you don't give me time to get ready your chances of getting laid become negative ten, and that's factoring in the unlikely intoxication bonus if you can manage to get me drunk. You know I need two hours just to pick out my cloths"
'They'll end up on my bedroom floor anyway.' Kinnosuke thought. "Fine." He allowed, "I'll pick you up here then? So we don't make any more mistakes"
"Yeah, whatever." Nabiki shrugged. Kinnosuke smiled.
"Won't you walk me to the door?" He asked.
"Won't you burn in--"
"Ah-ah-ah, temper, temper my goddess"
Nabiki scoffed and led him out, they were immediately met by a guy with a mustache--whom Kinnosuke recognized as her father--glaring down at him.
"Nabiki . . . who is this? Why were you two in your room alone"
"Oh we were just talking." Kinnosuke smiled, having prepared for parental interference as well.
"Talking about what? She did mention that she's engaged, didn't she?" Soun scowled. "Unless you can be a better contribution to my martial arts school than her current fiancee you and your unusually charming face are not permitted to be giving her flowers and talking to her alone behind closed doors"
Kinnosuke chuckled, and gave Nabiki's father his final rose, then a charming smile. "I'm just an old friend of your beautiful daughter, that's all, we were just having a brief conversation, I would never dream of getting in between her and her true love. As a sign of my pure intentions, take this lovely red rose, it's soft dew kissed petals as innocent as"
Soun raised an eyebrow at Kinnosuke and cut him off. "Do I look like the sort of man who wants some other man to give him a rose"
Kinnosuke had to admit he really hadn't thought that out too well. "But . . . but where I come from roses are a symbol of strength!" He tried. "I'm uh . . . I'm from uh . . . the United States, and there it is customary to give roses to those people you respect people of power and prestige, I respect your daughter for her intellect and skill, I was hoping to go out with her just once before I head off to college. But I thank you, venerable, powerful sir, for raising such a goddess and allowing us mortals simply to gaze at her in awe! It takes a truly powerful man to sire such a child, and to raise her into the financial genius she is today"
"Who are you trying to kid?" Nabiki demanded.
But the target of Kinnosuke's words, her father, had tears in his eyes. "That's so wonderful!" He cried, "You have my permission to marry my daughter"
"What? Daddy you cant be serious!" Nabiki shouted.
Kinnosuke winked at Soun and grinned, "I may hold you up on that offer some day soon, master Tendo. How about giving it to me in writing"
Nabiki held her head in her hands, Kinnosuke smiled and winked at her, though she didn't see it--her hands were over her eyes--she shuddered.
As they reached the door Kinnosuke couldn't help but thank whatever power had made him so darn good . . . or lucky. Everything was going his way, thanks to some strange calamity he owned Nabiki, for the moment anyway, and just waiting to see what she might do to regain control would be exhilarating. He bowed low to her in an attempt to see up her skirt which really wasn't too well thought out, especially since she was wearing shorts, then took his leave.
Nabiki scowled as she slammed the door. 'Thank goodness Akane wasn't here to see that.' She thought.
Unfortunately Kasumi was, Nabiki didn't want to deal with her older sister's concerned 'you can talk to me' look, and so she stormed up to her room after slapping her father hard across the face.
Permitted to marry Kinnosuke now, was she? Forced under pain of losing Ryoga to date the smooth talking peacock, was she? Well she'd just see about that! So he thought he could compete with her? Be her equal? Nonsense! She'd put him in his place many times before, but now she'd have to do something big . . . something monumental!
Or just something nasty.
Shampoo opened her eyes and saw nothing but darkness.
She blinked a few times, and found that it was neither darker nor brighter when her eyes were closed or open, she was certain, it was just complete blackness.
Her heart began to race, she felt panic welling up inside her, her eyes weren't working! They felt heavy, wet, was it blood? She couldn't focus them, couldn't see at all! How? What had caused this? She remembered Lo-Chun hugging her, but . . .
She struggled not to let out a panicked whimper as her hand moved up to her eyes in one last attempt to deny the fear building inside her chest, her hand came to her face . . . it felt strange . . . wet and warm . . . rough . . . she could feel her hand on her face, but her fingers couldn't make out any of the features of her once fair face . . . her mouth felt unchanged, and her nose was fine, but her brow and her eyes . . .
Acid! Her eyes had been burned away by acid!
But what she feared was burned skin easily slid away, and she pulled the wet cloth from her face, glaring around to be sure no one noticed her momentary panic, and if indeed anyone had, why they had ignored her presence.
She could still see well enough and she was relieved of that. She saw Lo-Chun sitting besides a fire, her back turned to her. Shampoo got up quickly and quietly, she snuck up on the disgrace of an amazon quietly, and punched her in the back of the head, Lo-Chun flew over the fire and rolled on the other side of it, coming up and glaring at Shampoo.
"Stupid Lo-Chun!" Shampoo growled as the two girls stood on opposite ends of the small camp fire, glaring each other down, each illuminated by it's ghostly red glow.
"Hey, for the record: I knew you were back there." Lo-Chun said, rubbing the back of her head. "I just did not think you would hit me"
"What you think shampoo do?" Shampoo demanded, realizing she and Lo-Chun's conversation was being spoken in Japanese for some reason.
"Well I spared your life did I not?" Lo-Chun scoffed. "I thought we could be pals"
"Lies!" Shampoo cried, she'd already come up with a perfectly logical explanation for her headache and her apparent black out . . . she'd been hugging Lo-Chun and suddenly a tree fell over, it hit her on the head laying her low and the skinny assassin had gone into her maniacal victory laugh, convinced herself somehow that she'd won and ran off to tell the world.
Of course that begged the question of why Lo-Chun was with her now, but Shampoo decided not to let it bother her.
"Well . . . regardless . . ." Lo-Chun said, "I have given much thought to your words Shampoo, and I will return peacefully . . . I will face elder cologne and confess to whatever crime she thinks I have committed"
"Good, we take boat back to Great Grandmother quickly." Shampoo said.
"Uh . . . no." Lo-Chun shook her head, "That is unacceptable, we need to get back as soon as possible. I don't suppose there is any way we can get back tonight, is there"
Shampoo scoffed and sat down in front of the fire. Lo-Chun shrugged and did the same on the opposite end.
"So . . . how's your head?" The skinny girl asked.
"Been better." Shampoo admitted. "How your head"
"Been better." Lo-Chun sighed. "I am sorry, all I could do was put a wet cloth over your head, I was not sure if I should move you. I thought such a hit might have paralyzed you or at least given you a speech impediment or something . . . you seem physically able, but as for the second fear of course I cannot tell since this is how you normally speak"
"Shut up!" Shampoo cried, throwing a rock at the other girl, it hit Lo-Chun right between the eyes.
Of course it would have missed if the skinny girl hadn't tried to dodge to the left, so really it wasn't so much a matter of Shampoo hitting Lo-Chun, but rather Lo-Chun catching the rock with the one part of her body that had no feeling--her empty head.
"Maybe you talk Japanese good, but that rock smarter than you!" Shampoo informed Lo-Chun.
The other girl shrugged helplessly and rubbed her forehead. "How was I to know it was a homing rock?" She demanded. She paused for a moment, then said, "How did you catch me, coming here by boat"
"Great Grandmother pay airfare." Shampoo said.
"She was that determined to make sure that I did not meet with Set?" Lo-Chun scowled.
"You no kill Sun Set?" Shampoo asked skeptically. Of course even though Sun Set was half the fighter Shampoo was, Shampoo knew that was more than enough to handle Lo-Chun. It was very likely that the reason Lo-Chun was being so agreeable now was because she wanted Shampoo to protect her from an amazon lynch mob.
"We must take a plane then. And soon." Lo-Chun said darkly. "I do not care what part of Japan it takes me to as long as Japan is where it takes me"
'Definitely the lynch mob.' Shampoo decided.
Ranma and Ryoga finished the somewhat ceremonial pre-battle insult exchange, and the first blow had been struck . . . by Ranma. The second blow . . . also Ranma. The third through fifteenth . . . were Ranma's.
In retrospect Ryoga had to admit an entire summer of running from angry mobs, and sleeping with Nabiki really hadn't helped his martial arts at all. He tried to keep his eyes on Ranma, but the pigtailed boy was faster than ever! Or maybe he was exactly as fast as ever and Ryoga had gotten slower . . .
Ryoga didn't want to accidentally destroy the dojo, so the typical battle--mostly involving ki blasts and the hurling of giant rocks--was quite impossible. Ranma leapt over his head, Ryoga's hand shot up, too slow to grab Ranma's leg, Ranma knocked it back down.
"You're pathetic, I don't even feel good about winning this fight." Ranma sneered, crossing his arms defiantly, Ryoga finally managed to hit him . . . in the face.
"I bet you feel better now!" Ryoga sneered back, Ranma kicked him in the chest.
Nabiki was just about finished planning Kinnosuke's demise when Yutaro appeared behind her. "Nabiki . . . we need to talk"
Nabiki sighed. "What"
"Not here." Yutaro said. "Let's try the park"
"Uh . . . o--kay." Nabiki frowned. She followed Yutaro out of the house and towards the park. She attempted to finish thinking of how to eliminate Kinnosuke as they walked, she became so focused on the image of him hanging with his genitals hooked and chained to a termite ridden bridge over a lake of piranha that she missed what Yutaro said to her along the way, she was only snapped out of her trance when Yutaro rushed towards her and knocked her out of the road right before the speeding taxi could make her into a very sexy hood ornament.
"Are you paying any attention at all?" Yutaro cried.
"Should I have?" Nabiki asked brightly. "I'm sorry boss, so what were you talking about"
"Nabiki, you're a clever girl, far too clever for this disgusting carrier"
"You knockin' your own job, Yutaro?"
"Uh . . . yes well I'm a director as well . . . and a terrible pervert so it all evens out"
"Evens out?" Nabiki raised both eyebrows at him. "What are you talking about?"
"Never mind. Anyway you're above all this, Nabiki." Yutaro said.
"Why do I not like the way you said that?" Nabiki sighed.
"I've been talking to . . . some people. They don't seem to think it's such a good idea that you be seen in my movie . . ." Yutaro shrugged. "I agree." He held up his hand before Nabiki could bite his head off, "It's nothing your father or sisters said, it's a number of reasons I've come to on my own"
"And what are they?" Nabiki asked.
"Well . . . this might seem silly, but . . . for starters, I've found someone better." Yutaro said. "Now it's not that I don't still think you're fantastic, I looked forward to our uh . . . 'scenes' together with much zeal," Yutaro shrugged, "You're beautiful, smart, and if you got implants you could be the most sought after in the business"
"I need implants!?" Nabiki cried looking at her chest. She'd never thought of herself as lacking in the T&A department, Yutaro must be insane! Maybe she should ask Ryoga later . . . "Implants?" She said again.
"But the fact is that I believe you'd have a brighter future as a lawyer, an accountant, a drug lord, a comic book artist, or some similar position"
"Are you kidding? If these were any bigger I'd look ridiculous! Like Shampoo!" Nabiki cried.
Yutaro massaged his head. "Listen Nabiki, the forces of evil need your talents far more than the forces of perversion. You could conquer the world of smut as a porn actress . . . but you could conquer the world as a drug lord." "It's hard to tell if you're being sarcastic or just plain insulting!" Nabiki exclaimed. She was still looking at her breasts. She tried playing around with them, they didn't seem that small.
"Stop that before you make my nose bleed!" Yutaro said quickly, grabbing her hands which she yanked away.
"And what's with those jobs? Lawyers, drug lords, sure, but accountants, comic book guys? What've they got to do with evil?" Nabiki demanded.
"Accountants, and comic book artists really are minions of evil." Yutaro shrugged. "I've got nothing against the inkers mind you, but the artists! Those vile artists with all of their . . . art . . . making and . . . stuff! Anyway I'm just offering you alternatives"
"What about the artists who're inkers as well?" Nabiki asked.
"They don't exist." Yutaro scoffed. "Too much work for one soul, evil or not"
"What are the other reasons?" Nabiki demanded.
"Well frankly you're too much of a risk"
"A risk?" Nabiki demanded. "You mean you thought I'd whip out a gun and shoot up the set before you fired me"
"No, don't be stupid. It's just that you could be camera shy, or you might have qualms about having sex with strangers, performing rape scenes with giant space alien puppets with fifteen busy tentacles"
"You never mentioned anything about a puppet before!" Nabiki pointed out. Fifteen tentacles . . . she was oddly more disappointed about being fired now.
"--or perhaps you might even have some religious problem with being a lesbian, there's quite a few lesbian scenes in the script." Yutaro continued without listening to Nabiki's interruption.
"There's a script?" Nabiki gasped.
"Didn't you read it?" Yutaro demanded.
"All you gave me was a folded up piece of paper with your phone number and some gross little drawings of stick figures with big balloons for breasts in various disgusting, perverted positions!" Nabiki cried. She frowned. "Oh sweet angry bladder fish was that crime against art supposed to be the script"
"That was the script"
"Oh you gotta be kidding me!" Nabiki scoffed.
"Normally when I'm going to do a movie the girls all want to sleep with me before we start filming, this way I know if they're any good or not. You on the other hand? Well I haven't got a clue since you haven't put out." Yutaro shrugged.
"You never asked!" Nabiki protested.
"Would you have complied if I'd done so?" Yutaro asked disbelieving.
"Well yeah, if you asked me under the right conditions." Nabiki shrugged.
"Oh? Well in that case how about we go have sex right now?" Yutaro asked.
"My being fired is not 'under the right conditions'"
"Figures." Yutaro smiled.
"So I suppose my replacement puts out all the time"
"Oh heavens yes!" Yutaro cried.
"Who is it? It's Nodoka isn't it!" Nabiki cried. "She's forty you know! I don't know how she manages to look as good as she does, but she's gotta be forty or at least in her late thirties"
"Actually your sister Akane wanted the job, we went into the closet for her interview. Best one I've had since I came into the business"
Without a moment's hesitation Nabiki punched Yutaro in the jaw. "You did what to my baby sister?"
"Gah! That hurt!" Yutaro pouted.
"That was the idea!" Nabiki growled.
Yutaro held up his hands in surrender, "I was joking, it really is Nodoka, she just told me to tell you it was Akane, said it'd be funny!"
"I'll hit her too." Nabiki scowled. "Old . . . thing! How can you take her over me? I'm young and ten times as pretty!"
"But she's amazing in bed. Besides, age is just a number in this industry, it's when you start getting all wrinkled that the viewers begin to care!"
"I'll get the stupid implants!" Nabiki pleaded, and Yutaro seemed to consider . . . until she added "But you're paying for them!"
"Uh . . . no. Sorry."
"I guess this means I'm not getting my ridiculous pay check?" Nabiki pouted.
"Hah! So it really was ridiculous!" Yutaro cried triumphantly.
"Well cant I still do those other movies?" Nabiki asked. "You said other directors wanted me, cant I work for them too"
"Nope. They want Nodoka now." Yutaro said apologetically.
"Already!?" Nabiki wailed.
"Yeah . . . we did it on a digital camera hooked up to the net, they watched. After she sleeps with a few more guys Nodoka will wake up a star."
Nabiki sighed and shook her head. "Vision of the future . . . failing. Beautiful life of comfort . . . . fading. Endless casual sex . . . temporarily out of reach. Self-respect . . . returning for some reason . . ."
"So . . . no hard feelings about being let go?" Yutaro asked.
Nabiki licked her lips in consideration. "I'd say the pain in your jaw is your answer." Nabiki sighed.
Yutaro slapped her on the shoulder. "I knew you'd be mature about it. Hey, now you don't have to worry about any more family courts, right? See you around Tendo . . . if I ever do action themed porn, I'll give you a call."
"Nodoka is a martial artist." Nabiki pointed out.
"Oh . . . then I guess I'll just call her again. Well I'll find some way for us to work together in the future, until then!" Yutaro said, waving and running off.
"Don't bother." Nabiki scoffed but Yutaro was already too far away to hear her.
"Nabiki Tendo! I've found you!" Kuno cried.
"When it rains it pours." Nabiki sighed.
Ryoga and Ranma had taken a short break to collect themselves, Ranma was the obvious winner of the short skirmish but Ryoga refused to acknowledge it, insisting that he simply needed some time to catch his breath--even though he didn't--after which he would easily defeat his rival--even though he probably wouldn't. Not easily that is.
"Y'know what? It's all that time you spend with Nabiki." Ranma said.
"What's that?" Ryoga gave Ranma a confused look.
"You were much easier to beat than before, I mean seriously it's not often that I have such an easy time getting rid of you." Ranma shrugged.
"You didn't beat me!" Ryoga cried.
"Yeah whatever. Anyway I heard from this guy who read this article in some magazine that too much sex results in physical weakness"
"You made that up just now!" Ryoga cried, even though he'd been told the same thing by his mother, he'd always just assumed she was lying in an attempt to scare him into celibacy.
"No way! It's a fact." The pigtailed boy shrugged.
"Because you heard it from some guy?" Ryoga reasoned sarcastically.
"Exactly." Ranma nodded gravely. "So . . . since no sex means no weakness, maybe it's good that you and Nabiki are about to break up"
"We are not!" Ryoga protested.
"Puh-lease!" Ranma rolled his eyes, "Drop the saint act you know you want to know what she did. And you know I can tell you. And I know that once you know you'll drop her like a ton of bricks."
"If it's that bad I'm sure I'll be happier not knowing." Ryoga scoffed. However he had to admit he was curious, however armed with the realization that if it were all that bad he'd probably only be miserable once Ranma told him he was content to ignore the issue unless Nabiki decided he needed to know, in which case he'd accept a no doubt watered down version of it and then probably throw himself over a bridge.
"Maybe I should tell you, it might just tick you off enough for you to be an actual challenge," Ranma was saying before the door swung open and Akane marched right in.
"Dojo's still in one piece . . . are you guys feeling okay? You're not sick are you"
"Naw, poor oversexed Ryoga just couldn't put up a challenge for me this time." Ranma chuckled, Ryoga tried hard not to punch him. Then he asked himself why he was doing so, and promptly punched Ranma in the nose.
Akane smiled weakly and sniffed a beautiful red rose. "Uh . . . dad sent me out here to tell you guys the trial is over."
"What was the verdict?" Ryoga asked.
"Uh . . . basically there's nothing we can do to stop Nabiki from doing what she's going to do."
"Can we tell Ryoga what that is?" Ranma asked, rubbing his nose.
"It doesn't matter, because I talked her out of it myself!" Akane said proudly. "It was so easy, I bet she was just trying to see if anyone cared enough about her to tell her 'no', y'know? Her whole life she's pretty much had it her own way, so I bet she just wants some restrictions." Akane smiled.
"Or she lied to you to get you to leave her the heck alone." Ranma said.
Akane's smile remained for a little while longer, then it disintegrated. "Gosh I'm gullible." She said.
"Well . . . yes. But we didn't want to say anything." Ryoga said, feeling he needed to contribute something to this odd conversation, then regretting that he'd done it.
"That's it! I'll wring her neck!" Akane roared, she ran outside.
Ranma chuckled, "Well, round two!"
Ryoga scoffed and was about to answer when he heard a scream.
Akane's scream.
He and Ranma rushed out to see what was going on, there was Akane, lying in a heap on the ground, standing over her was a young man with blue-black hair, and a long brown jacket, fanning himself lightly with a green paper fan. He laughed bitterly, "It's nothing personal, however we must always be wary of the company we keep, and you keep poor company indeed." The young man chuckled.
"Hey you, what do you think you're doing?" Ranma roared.
"Why, taking a hostage of course." The young man chuckled, "I am called Maro, and I have come for Han Lo-Chun!"
"You that guy who's supposed to have beaten her eh? Well she aint interested in you so run along, and leave Akane alone, she's got nothing to do with that moron amazon assassin. Now go before I get nasty." Ranma growled.
Maro chuckled. "Beaten her? I believe you are mistaken, if I had beaten that murderous slime she'd be dead and my enmity with her would end . . . after I had properly desecrated her corps and thrown her remains into a bathtub filled with acid . . . I wouldn't be standing before you, holding your fiancee hostage, now would I? Therefore if you want her back come to--"
"I think we'll be taking her back right now!" Ryoga shouted, as Ranma lunged forward, and he followed behind. Maro waved his fan and flames irrupted around Ryoga and Ranma, there was a deafening explosion and Ryoga felt the flames crawling all over his body, consuming him, driving him mad with pain!
But Ranma just pressed on, he scoffed, "Are illusions all you've got? Maybe they'll work on a macho-chick moron like Akane, but you're gonna have to dish out better to stop me you creep"
Ryoga's head swam. An illusion? Impossible! It hurt so much, he saw his own skin burning away, his eyes hazed over, his mind began to slow, he saw red.
He heard Maro grunt as something--probably Ranma's fist--hit him, he heard Ranma shout something but his ears were ringing, he couldn't make it out.
It couldn't be an illusion! It was real, Ranma wasn't affected because he'd been at the edge of the blast, Ryoga was on fire, he was going to die, he couldn't move!
It was all over . . .
Ranma scowled when he saw Ryoga collapse, fat lot of help he was! 'Useless dope! I'll do it myself then!' He thought, launching into another attack, hurling a hundred blows in a single second.
"If you want to see your fiancee again," Maro said, moving nimbly but only barely managing to dodge Ranma's attacks, "come to the Furinkan Gym tonight at midnight, otherwise I cannot guarantee her continued health. Just the two of you now, if I so much as sense another soul she dies"
"Why are ya doin' this if all ya want is that skinny brat, Lo-Chun? Why don't you go after her and leave us alone"
Maro scowled, "When you get to Furinkan Gym, I'll be the one asking the questions Saotome. Now don't forget, you've got until midnight to organize your affairs, time to say goodbye to your family and write your will, time is a gift and I grant such to so very few. Midnight, you and Hibiki be there or I kill Miss. Tendo"
Ranma scowled and threw another few hundred punches, but Maro nimbly leapt back towards the Tendo roof, holding Akane hover his shoulder.
That's when Ranma saw it, a glimmer of hope, help from someone who might not just keel over like that idiot Ryoga!
"Unhand Akane you fiend!" Happosai cried. (Meh, Ranma's getting desperate)
"Eh? Stay out of this old geezer, you're not on my list and I don't need two hostages!" Maro snapped.
"Happo Fire Burst!" Happosai roared.
"No master!" Soun shouted.
"Not that!" Genma cried.
Too late. Happosai hurled his fire ball at Maro, it exploded in a violent light, Ranma didn't care that it might kill Maro, he could only think that Akane was going to get caught in it too!
"No!" He cried, finding himself already running for Akane. But Maro didn't seem afraid, he scowled and drew a red fan from his coat, he waved it towards the ball of fire at the last second and it simply disappeared.
Ranma didn't hesitate a millisecond, his rescue dash became an attack, he hurled a fist towards the back of Maro's head, the other boy was too busy taunting Happosai to dodge! "Put out your fire did I, old man? Shall I blow out the candle that is your life as well"
Ranma lunged forward and struck, Maro flew forward though he was only meant to fall down. Ranma heard a satisfying and yet terrifying crunch when he hit the back of the other boy's head.
Jun watched intently. He was disappointed. Not in Maro, he'd never expected the would-be assassin to succeed, Maro was just the tool.
It was Ryoga and Ranma that disappointed Jun. Ryoga had failed to even see through Maro's illusion, and though it seemed Ranma had just landed the killing blow it had taken him entirely too long considering Maro's actual level of skill compared to what Jun was looking for in Ranma and Ryoga.
What he expected to find but was so utterly disappointed to see lacking. Ranma might be able to stomp on a failure like Maro, but as far as Jun was concerned that wasn't saying much at all, and it said even less for Ryoga who'd been defeated almost instantaneously.
And yet he didn't look away. Not yet. Something told him if he just held out faith a little longer . . .
Ranma rushed over to Maro, he was still holding Akane, though his eyes had rolled back into his head in death.
Ranma had killed him. He'd taken a human life.
And he didn't care. He'd worry about it after he knew Akane was safe.
He knelt over them, Akane wasn't moving, she wasn't breathing, his heart leapt up into his throat and he fought back the emotions that flooded through him. He reached out to touch her . . .
And suddenly Maro's hand shot out to grab his, the other boy's eyes rolled back to the proper position, he snickered and tightened his grip on Ranma's hand. "I guess you don't see through 'all' of my illusions too well, do you?"
Maro laughed, Ranma punched.
Maro grunted and flew towards the house, slamming through the wall.
"NNNOOOO!" Soun moaned pathetically. "Burn it! Just burn it down already! I'll live in the streets!"
Maro struggled up out of the rubble, he scowled and leapt for Ranma.
"I believe a damaged wall is the least of our concerns right now." Kasumi pointed out.
"Oh right." Soun nodded. "Ranma! Save Akane . . . then fix my wall!" He shouted.
Ranma scowled as Maro came for him, then Maro leapt over Ranma's head so nimbly Ranma felt like some stupid slow turtle, or maybe a rock . . . no . . . even worse, he felt like Ryoga.
Maro landed nimbly behind him . . . and made his mistake.
If it had been Ryoga, Ranma could have counted on feeling a very sharp pan in his back, Maro had Ranma's back exposed he could strike. It might not finish the match, but it could cause some damage. Instead Maro didn't attack, he went for Akane and as he tried to lift her again Ranma found he had plenty of time to turn around, take a couple of quick steps up to Maro and grab him.
Maro squirmed, Ranma held him all the tighter . . . then Maro did something unexpected . . .
"Ugh! Let me go! Please don't hurt me, I'm begging you! I'll do anything, anything at all!"
Ranma loosened his grip, expecting Maro to try to escape, but he didn't. Ranma was a little disappointed, he'd sort of been hoping Maro would try to, then he could hit him again.
Instead Maro bowed before Ranma . . . no he groveled! "Please master! Please don't harm me!"
Ranma cracked his knuckles in an intimidating fashion. "Well that's up to you pal. Now you're gonna answer my questions. For starters, why were you after Akane?"
"I wasn't!" Maro cried.
"So ya attacked her fer no reason?" Ranma demanded.
"What? Of course not. I attacked her so I could use her as bait. To lure you and Hibiki to your deaths of course." Maro said simply.
"And what've ya got against us?" Ranma demanded.
"You're alive. That's enough." Maro said simply.
"But ya targeted us personally? Knew our names even. So how'd that happen? Cant just be a random attack"
"Well . . ." Maro shifted uneasily. "I'm sure that maniac amazon told you all about our uh . . . relationship"
"Shampoo never mentioned you!" Ranma blurted, then said, "Oh wait, you mean Lotion right"
"Yes . . . well everything she told you was a lie"
"I cant deny it since I never paid enough attention to her to know what the heck she was talking about half the time." Ranma pointed out.
Maro raised an eyebrow. "Can you remember nothing of what she told you"
"Let me see . . . uh . . . yes, once she . . . no . . . I think she mentioned . . . no . . . uh . . . she can bake like it's nobody's business." Ranma offered. He heard a young woman scoff and quickly added, "But not as well as Kasumi."
Maro looked stunned. "She spent her time here baking!?" He roared.
"We've still got some of her cookies left if that's what you're after." Kasumi offered.
"Though you'd have to beg Akane to forgive you for attacking her before we'd let you have any." Ranma added.
"I come not for cookies! I come for vengeance! Now tell me all that you know about Lo-Chun!"
"That's the sorta thing you'd ask Ryoga, he spent a lot more time with her than I did." Ranma said, he purposely failed to mention that Kasumi had too, without Kasumi they'd be stuck eating Akane's cooking, by comparison Ryoga was expendable.
"Oh I will force the information out of Hibiki all right!" Maro cried.
"Couldn't you just ask him?" Kasumi asked.
"No! That just wouldn't be cool! Besides, we assassins don't ask, we take by force! And if something is offered . . . we take by force anyway! I'll be back to take the answers to my questions! Oh, and to kill you and Hibiki." Maro sneered at Ranma.
Ranma shook his head. "Better luck tomorrow?" He offered. He'd quickly forgotten that Maro had put up a bit of a fight and had already decided that he could take the boy again with his hands tied behind his back.
Maro scowled. "I will not be denied. You and Hibiki will die, marking my ascension into the guild! And then Han Lo-Chun too shall die, marking my ascension to glory!"
Ranma poked him, Maro leapt back about ten paces and screamed hysterically. "Don't touch me! Don't touch meee! Ugh"
"A new enemy." Soun said dramatically as Maro ran off down the street, stopping traffic at one point so he could throw himself over a taxi and cling to the advertisement on top so as to get a free ride (Kids who read this story despite my complaints, don't try that at home, it doesn't work in real life, you'll be killed)
"A powerful new enemy." Genma agreed.
"What're ya nuts?" Ranma cried. "The guy's a moron, only slightly more intimidating that a flea and less challenging than Kuno!"
"Oh . . . we were just trying to uh . . ." Soun trailed off searching for a word that probably didn't exist.
"We only wanted to um . . ." Genma did the same thing.
Ranma shook his head. He missed fighting this Maro guy already.
But still he looked to Ryoga and Akane, both were unconscious. He frowned bitterly, Maro was no Kuno, he was a force to be reckoned with . . .
And yet his idea of a dramatic escape was running off screaming like a lunatic and then jumping onto the roof of a taxi . . . it was kind of hard to take him seriously.
No wonder he was looking for Lo-Chun, those two were made for each other . . . by some great universal power with a very bad sense of humor . . .
Again Ranma shook his head--which was beginning to ache--and stomped off towards the house. "Kasumi, you promised a cookie to the winner of mine and Ryoga's duel? Well he's unconscious so I guess that makes me the winner!"
"Oh right. I'll make a whole batch for our tired champion." Kasumi nodded, she frowned at Ryoga and Akane as if she expected them to suddenly jump up and plea for cookies too. Akane stirred, but neither of them got up.
"They'll be fine." Happosai said. Suddenly he whacked Ranma on the head and Ranma fell over. "But the cookies are mine"
"Kind of sad really." Ukyo said. "Ryoga and Akane are out cold, might have concussions or something, the guy who did it just got away and we're just standing here on the lawn talking about cookies when we could be calling the cops, or an ambulance. Are our lives so warped? Have we actually gotten so used to this sort of thing?"
"You can have a cookie too." Kasumi offered.
"All right!" Ukyo cheered and forgot all about what she'd just been saying.
"Bu-hut those are muh-hy cookies!" Happosai sobbed.
Ranma rubbed his head. Had they all gotten used to such an abnormal life? What was normal anyway? Well now that Akane would survive he no longer saw any reason to be all dramatic so he left her on the lawn for someone else to clean up . . . no one did, and eventually she stomped in with some dandelions in her hair. No one bothered to get Ryoga, though later it started to rain so Kasumi suggested Ranma do so.
He was going to do it too, once his TV show was over, only that big German shepherd Mercedes showed up with P-Chan's curly tail sticking out of it's mouth so Ranma figured that there wasn't much he could do . . . plus he had a stomach ache from eating too many cookies so he really didn't fancy trying to wrestle a pig from the jaws of a German shepherd the size of a small horse.
Ryoga was a tough kid, he'd take care of himself.
Jun scowled, Ranma and Ryoga? Jokes! Utter jokes! Ranma of course might show some promise, but not a great deal. And Ryoga? A pathetic waste of life,the boy didn't deserve to draw breath, he was a drain on the etiology, or economy or something like that.
Still no sign of Han, and of course Jun knew if she didn't want to be found she wouldn't be, still her absence concerned him. She had run from Maro several times now, Jun wasn't entirely sure why but now seeing Maro against Ranma he had a guess. To say that Han was weak minded would be something of an understatement, and Maro's illusions seemed to have some sort of power over morons--Hibiki and this Tendo girl--leaving them helpless.
Was it possible that with those fans as his weapons Maro could finally end his feud with Lo-Chun? He'd certainly improved in skill, he was close to the level Han had been at when she'd finished her training under Jun, and he had been limiting himself by using non-lethal attacks, in a real fight how much more powerful might he be? Could he kill Han Lo-Chun?
And how would the guild elders respond to a failure like him defeating one of the guild's most popular young stars? If Jun's current plan failed how would they respond to the fact that Jun himself had slaughtered an apprentice level assassin for the two bronze rings he'd given to Maro? Certainly if his plan succeeded all would be forgiven but if it failed?
His mind wandered back to Han's disappearance. Perhaps he'd be able to blame it all on her, claim that she'd gone rouge? That he'd tried to save the apprentice? Yes, that might work. It would be her word against his and where the heck was she to defend her not so good name?
Ushio Koruda massaged his forehead, he felt ill.
Tomoko and Anju were out on a date. Not with each other, but together. He wasn't sure how it worked, but apparently there were two boys, two girls, they were paired off and it was a date. What had they called it? A group thing? Nonsense!
Unfortunately it meant that Ushio himself had been forced to train the students, and after a few bouts the children all adapted a single, terribly painful technique that Ushio himself was unable to block at first simply because at the first time his mind had been wandering, and thereafter he'd been in too much pain to concentrate on blocking. It had been too unexpected and the pain seemed to linger for a very long time, impairing his ability to walk and resulting in him performing his martial arts with both hands held over his . . . uh . . . anyway after the fifth blow it seemed Anju would forever remain an only child, at the tenth Ushio gave them all the stupid black belts and told their parents that their training was complete and it would not be necessary for them to return . . . ever.
Aside from that Ushio had to handle the wandering martial artist that showed up to challenge him. Some insane kid with a moose who kept calling him 'Saotome'.
Ushio had lost, he blamed it on the burning pain coming from his most absolute weakest of spots. If Tomoko were here she could have handled it. Darn girl just had to go off and satisfy those primal urges, curse her and all woman kind!
Soon . . . soon the tournament would begin. Tomoko and Anju, along with more of Ushio's prized fighters, and even a couple of ringers if he could manage it.
He scowled. His two best students were girls! Everyone knew girls were weaker than boys! He'd get creamed unless . . .
Hmm . . . the boy with the glasses had defeated him rather soundly. "You there, what was your name again"
"My name is Mousse and you know it is Mousse, Saotome!" Mousse cried.
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Say! How would you like to compete against the Tendo Training Hall in a great, grand tournament"
"Hmm?" Mousse frowned. "Tendo Hall?" He pulled a pair of glasses over his eyes. "You are not Ranma Saotome." He stated, though he didn't sound entirely sure.
Ranma Saotome? Of course! "You have a quarrel with Ranma Saotome?"
"Indeed." Mousse said. "He has stolen my love away from me!"
"Yes. Uh-huh. I don't care. Anyway how you like a chance to fight him?"
"Wha?t"
"A chance to fight Ranma Saotome . . . for my martial arts school . . . at a spectacular tournament. I can pay you. I can pay you whatever you want!"
"You cannot give me what I want." Mousse said.
His moose bellowed, Mousse turned towards the animal, quickly removing his glasses as he did. "I am sorry Lo-Chun, really I am but Shampoo remains the only woman for me . . . it would never work out between us because . . . well frankly you annoy me, though your newfound ability to remain quiet for more than five minutes is quite wonderful, and I hope you will continue to cooperate as I drag--er escort you back to your death--er I mean to Elder Cologne. You still have a special place in my heart so please do not sit on me again."
Ushio frowned. The boy was insane. "So will you fight for my school?"
"Hmm? But I just told you that you have not the power to give me what I want!"
Ushio nodded, he dove into his 'Enemies' album and produced a file. "Mousse. Don't know why I didn't recognize you. Skill rating B? Well that cant be right." Ushio erased the B and wrote an A. "There, I believe you will find you can move faster and punch harder now." Ushio pointed out.
"I feel no different." Mousse pointed out.
"Yes, but you must now be Saotome's equal, since it says here that you are."
"Oh . . . I see."
"Now, what is it you want? You want Shampoo don't you? And according to this detailed information here the only way for you to get Shampoo is to defeat Ranma Saotome? I offer you a chance to defeat him with an audience watching you, a chance to destroy him before a crowd, and then destroy his allies until you stand at the top of the winner's pyramid, and all in the name of the Kordua School of Combat! How can anyone deny you your Shampoo then."
Mousse nodded vigorously. "Yes! Yes of course! Not even that old ghoul could refuse to give Shampoo to me! But . . . I know better than to suppose that I can simply defeat Ranma Saotome in fair combat"
"Fair!?" Ushio cried. "Who ever mentioned the word 'fair?'"
"Cheat?" Mousse frowned.
"In so many words . . ." Ushio shrugged.
"For my beloved Shampoo . . . I shall." Mousse nodded.
Ushio nodded back, feeling a little better. This boy sure was fanatical about shampoo . . . but then with his long hair Ushio supposed he'd have to be. "Anju, Tomoko, Mousse." Ushio counted on three fingers. Perhaps he could find two more ringers, then he wouldn't have to use his own students. After all, it was pretty clear how well they'd fared against the Tendo champions.
Mousse was a good start, maybe he could use a few more of Tendo's rivals, Ranma Saotome could be made into a rallying call for the Koruda team . . . Ushio looked over his lists. Tatewaki Kuno would enjoy a chance to face Saotome . . . but if Tendo's daughter Akane got involved there could be complications. And Kuno's skill rating was a D. Ryoga Hibiki . . .
No, he was engaged to Tendo's daughter too. Must be some girl to hold down two fiancees. Oh wait, Tendo had three.
Ukyo? Unlikely.
Tendo's various offspring were off limits of course.
But then . . . some man named Tofu?
"Hmm . . ." Ushio smiled. "A history of mental illness, obsessed with Tendo's third daughter . . . excellent knowledge of pressure points eh?" He laughed maniacally, despite the confused look Mousse was giving him.
Maro was fuming! He'd failed? He'd failed! Curses, here he'd thought Jun was giving him an easy mission.
But of course why would he? It made perfect sense now, oh yes, Jun wanted him to prove his worthiness as an assassin! Well, Maro would rise to the challenge!
"Ask Ryoga" Saotome had said.
No.
Assassins don't 'ask'.
They take.
And at just the right moment . . . he'd take what he wanted from Ryoga Hibiki. But first he'd observe him and learn all that he needed to learn about him to destroy him . . . then he'd get rid of Saotome with a few well placed explosives and bada bing bada boom, he'd be a real assassin at last!
Meanwhile, Nabiki was once again out with Tatewaki Kuno. He hadnt really offered her anything in exchange for this, but she was fuming, she had to tell someone about all this and Kuno had been standing right there. Besides, if she told Kasumi or Akane they'd be judgmental, her father would probably break down, Kuno listened intently to her explanation of the situation . . . she'd lost the job she'd really never had, and to Ranma's mother no less! She had only been accepted by idiot imitation colleges like Marvard, and was annoyed with Kinnosuke though she hadnt really told Kuno about the blackmail, she wasn't sure if he'd understand her not wanting the world to know about their little kiss. Also she was going insane trying to think of where to go next with her life. Having super powers wasn't coming in as handy as she'd originally thought, especially since she had to commit herself to celibacy for at least three days just to use them.
"I've got no future, my plans are ruined!" Nabiki moaned.
"So make new plans." Kuno sort of scoffed.
"No time! I'm eighteen, half my life is over!" She cried.
"Nabiki Tendo . . . the human life span is . . . somewhat longer than that . . ."
"Hah!" Nabiki scoffed back at him.
"Anyway, you do not have to be accepted to a fine college to attend one."
"Come again?" Nabiki demanded.
"Well when you have money--" Kuno began, but Nabiki cut him off.
"Of course!" Nabiki laughed, it was so obvious, why hadnt she thought of it before? "I'll find Yoshimi, we'll go to China, I'll drown her butt in one of those magic springs, jump in, assume her identity with cold water and . . ." she frowned, Kuno was just staring blankly at her.
The word 'blankly' here means he seemed to be listening but not really understanding, still there was something going on in that head of his. He stared at her for a moment longer, not long enough to make her feel uncomfortable, but long enough for her to notice. Finally he snapped out of it and said, "I am afraid you lost me at 'China'."
"Long story, I'll explain some other time." Nabiki said simply.
"Why not now?" Kuno asked. "Your melodious voice drifts through my system and somehow makes the day seem . . . great"
Nabiki frowned. "Can I have some of your DNA?" She asked suddenly.
Kuno frowned back at her. Even frowning he looked kinda cute. Had she just thought that? "Why would you need this?" He asked.
"I want to try to clone you and my fiance: Ryoga together into one person." Nabiki said simply. She was going to emphasize 'fiance' to remind Kuno that she was engaged and his smooth pickup lines weren't appreciated.
Except that they were, so she didn't bother.
Without warning Kuno leaned over and kissed her again, she felt like she should be annoyed by this . . . she wasn't. It lasted no longer than their first kiss but this time they chose to end it . . . reluctantly . . . rather than being interrupted. Nabiki wondered briefly if it was too soon to . . . gah!
What sort of person was she if she couldn't keep impure thoughts out of her head? And who cared? It was her head anyway. If anything came of it she did happen to be possessed by an ancient Chinese spirit who also happened to be a fictional, yet notorious whore, she could always blame it on her.
Not that she really believed that the spirit of a fictional harlot existed within her . . . after all, that was just ridiculous. So then why should anyone else believe it?
Hmm . . .
"Maybe . . ." Kuno gave her a strange smile, "we can go someplace more private, Nabiki Tendo?"
'Must you always use my full name? That's notreallyvery romantic!' Nabiki wanted to say, instead she just smiled back. "Sure . . . why not?" They got up to leave.
But suddenly Kinnosuke appeared from out of nowhere, Nabiki wanted to wring his neck for intruding on this moment of . . . whatever it was. It was a moment, that was enough!
So she'd wring his neck for intruding on her moment of moment-ness! Kinnosuke smiled brightly however and said, "You ready for our date Nabi-chan?"
"Call me that one more time." Nabiki said coldly, glaring at Kinnosuke. She silently added 'and I'll drive red hot pokers into your butt . . . oh no, you'd probably like that you sick son of a--"
"Nabi-chan!" Kinnosuke laughed, Kuno looked shocked.
"Y-you enjoy that nickname?" Kuno cried.
"Absolutely not!" Nabiki said.
"But you requested that he call you by it a second time!" Kuno gasped. "Nabiki Tendo . . . do I mean so little to you that you would date this man right in front of me?"
Nabiki meant to say 'yes, you mean very little to me, go away and be gone you flee, you worm, you vermin!' instead she just shook her head and said "It's not like that at all. I explained to you my reasons for dating him didn't I?" She asked. Kuno seemed to consider this, and Nabiki tried herself to remember if she'd told him it was for vengeance's sake, to make Kinnosuke hurt. She wondered why she cared if he knew that or not.
'You're engaged to Ryoga! And Kuno is a jerk, and a pervert, and a--' Nabiki thought to herself, suddenly she noticed the eye contact between Kuno and Kinnosuke.
There was something there . . .
What?
It was as if they were having a silent conversation . . . She watched them for a moment, sensing the tension, realizing that if Kuno whipped out his sword he could rend Kinnosuke in two ending all her problems: Kuno would go to prison for man slaughter, and Kinnosuke would be . . . well, you know. She could be loyal to Ryoga and no one would ever have to know how close she'd come just now to running off with Kuno.
But she was relieved when he didn't, she wanted to destroy Kinnosuke herself. She'd break him like a twig, then leave him shattered.
"Very well. As you have made a previous engagement I will leave you now." Kuno said. Nabiki still wasn't sure if he knew she'd rather stay with him. Wasn't sure why she'd rather stay with him, she still didn't like him . . . or did she?
This sort of stuff was supposed to end when she turned eighteen, not get even worse!
Kuno bowed slightly, then left. Kinnosuke smiled at Nabiki and said, "Aren't you glad I showed up just in time? If you'd kept on like you were I'd have even better pictures to show your other boyfriend!"
"Oh yeah, you're seducing me real good Kinnosuke, your threats make me want to just lay back and give in to your mad sex skills!" Nabiki scowled. "And don't spy on me either."
Kinnosuke laughed softly. "Nabi-chan, we're not enemies. I'm your friend. I care. Your current boyfriend is mentally unstable, if I showed him those pictures he'd blow up half the city!"
"Don't assume that you know him simply because you know of him, Ryoga has more self control than that." Nabiki said . . . with no conviction whatsoever. "Maybe a quarter of the city, but not half." She decided.
Kinnosuke laughed. "You're in a good enough mood to joke, I'm glad, because I was so afraid you'd be planning my painful death that you wouldn't focus enough enjoy our time together."
"Well . . . not your death." Nabiki said truthfully.
Kinnosuke smiled, "Maybe you should hold onto my arm."
"No, I'm fine thanks." Nabiki answered coldly.
"No, I really think that you'd be happier if you grabbed my arm. Quickly."
Nabiki gave him a strange look, he seemed pretty smug. She grabbed his arm and sighed.
Just then Yoshimi appeared. 'This is all I need.' Nabiki thought.
"Yoshimi!" Nabiki gasped.
"Harume Yoshimi, daughter of Kotaro Harume, age seventeen and three quarters . . . oh hello Tendo Nabiki!" Yoshimi blinked a few times. "Ryoga is not here . . . is he?"
"Not unless you're hiding him in your pockets." Nabiki shrugged.
Yoshimi gave Kinnosuke an odd look. Kinnosuke just grinned triumphantly. Yoshimi then allowed the faintest traces of a smile to reach her lips, she dispelled them immediately, but Nabiki had seen.
"This is my cousin. Tendo Kinnosuke." Nabiki said quickly. A feeble lie, but then Yoshimi didn't really seem to be all there in the head. "He's only in town for tonight, I'm showing him around."
"Oh how lovely! I shall get Ryoga, and the two of you can show us both around!" Yoshimi cried.
"Oh no, don't bother him with this trivial matter." Nabiki chuckled.
"Oh? Is there . . . some reason you do not want him to be here?" Yoshimi asked with concern that was most likely feigned.
"Not at all." Nabiki smiled. "You see it's just that he and Kinnosuke don't get along all that well and I'm afraid there could be bloodshed if they were together."
"Oh . . . I understand." Yoshimi nodded.
Kinnosuke suddenly said "You know cousin, the evening is young, but we should be going if you want to return home before curfew!"
"Curfew?" Nabiki frowned, but then shrugged. "Yes, curfew of course. I'm so sorry Yoshimi . . . you wouldn't want to come along with us, would you?"
"Me?" Yoshimi seemed surprised. "Come along?"
"Well of course. Why not? Maybe you and my cousin will uh . . . hit it off." Nabiki said slyly.
"Oh-ho no. Ryoga is the only one for me." Yoshimi smiled. "I will find him and we will tour the city as well, I do hope you don't mind."
"Actually I--"
"Splendid, farewell!" Yoshimi giggled and skipped away.
Nabiki sighed.
"Well . . . arent you going to show me around the city?" Kinnosuke smiled. "I thought we'd start at all the normal motels, then as we get more adventurous we'd go to the 'specialized' ones."
Nabiki massaged her forehead, but laughed all the same. Oh she'd soon put and end to his little jokes. "You're so funny Kinnosuke . . . may I call you Suke-chan?"
"Uh . . . why would you call me--"
"Yes, yes of course Suke-chan!" Nabiki said quickly, "How about if we skip this evening, you give me your silly little pictures, and the negatives while you're at it, and I'll . . . give you what you really want?"
"Oh Nabi-chan, Nabi-chan, Nabi-chan." Kinnosuke chuckled, "I really thought you had more respect for yourself. But fear not, I respect you enough for the both of us. No my dear we will enjoy ourselves tonight, but not before we do so in a more morally acceptable way?"
"What does that even mean?" Nabiki demanded.
Kinnosuke scratched his chin, maybe he didn't know. "Let's go to the carnival." He said at last.
"There's a carnival?" Nabiki wondered.
"It seems there's always a carnival when you need one." Kinnosuke said.
Nabiki frowned. She'd noticed that too. Creepy.
"After, we can get something to eat. Then we'll talk about doing what we really want to do."
"Of course!" Nabiki said. She tried not to roll her eyes, but it was hard.
Yoshimi smiled as the two left. Cousin indeed. Even if she didn't know the truth she'd never believe that. 'Fool girl. Give up my Ryoga before I get angry with you.' She thought bitterly. She thought back to the moment she'd ambushed them, the moment Nabiki had seen her seemingly wander across them.
The jump that girl gave, it was priceless. Oh yes indeed.
She'd get the pictures from Kinnosuke later, she rushed over to a small shop and got a disposable camera . . . she'd have more pictures to show her love later tonight. If Kinnosuke did his job right. She noted Kuno watching her in confusion. "Excellent!" She cried. "I did not know you were here. You will help me, wont you?"
"I . . ." Tatewaki frowned. "I do not think I like her being with Kinnosuke." He said at last.
Yoshimi frowned. "I understand. Remember that my own love is with her as well, has even lost his purity to her instead of me, I'm sure you can imagine--no, share the pain I feel knowing that for the rest of our lives together, whether he means to or not my love will always compare me to her in those sweet stolen moments of intimacy. I know exactly how you feel. But it's all necessary. Once I have Ryoga, as is right and proper you will have Nabiki and whomever else you desire, and when we are through with Kinnosuke he'll be so well paid he'll not bother either one of us." Yoshimi gave Kuno a friendly look, tried to look like she actually cared about his concerns. "She loves you Kuno Tatewaki, not this Kinnosuke. Take comfort in that and know that she will not betray you."
Kuno did seem to take a small bit of comfort. Yoshimi wondered briefly if he was really fool enough to believe that. If this girl would betray Ryoga, what would keep her from betraying Tatewaki as well? That was exactly why Yoshimi conveniently chose not to think of what she would make Ryoga do as 'betraying' but rather 'awakening to the truth'.
Kinnosuke was attractive, and despite the current tension--which was part of Yoshimi's plan anyway--she was sure he'd manage to at least kiss Nabiki before the night was over. And if he followed her plan well enough he'd do more than that. But then once his role was complete Yoshimi would have no use for Kuno either, so let him believe what he wanted to believe.
She was simply relieved that Nabiki had consented to date Kinnosuke even though he lacked the correct bundle of pictures. "We will follow them, no?" Yoshimi asked Kuno. "We will catch it all on film, deceive my Ryoga so that your Nabiki will be free"
Kuno frowned. "Normally," he said, "I would simply destroy your Ryoga to free my dear Nabiki Tendo. However as you have helped me so greatly I will not deny you your happiness in return." Yoshimi decided he had to be really full of himself if he thought he could deny her anything that she really wanted. "I will follow them and ensure that if they do kiss it is caught on film." He snapped his fingers.
His small ninja servant appeared. "I have a little something you might like." The butler said, handing Yoshimi some pictures.
"I do not know why Gosunkugi's original photographs failed, but this extra evidence should be enough to sway Ryoga Hibiki." Kuno said softly.
They were the sort that began to develop as soon as they were taken. The black faded away to reveal Kuno and Nabiki together, strolling, talking . . . kissing. Wonderful little things! Yoshimi looked at the pictures. She nearly kissed Kuno herself. "Excellent!" She cried in excitement. "You do be sure to watch them closely comrade, I will show these to Ryoga!" She rushed off, or at least pretended to.
"Master Kuno, this is not the sort of thing we usually do." The servant pointed out.
"No, it isn't. Is there some problem with that, Sasuke?" Kuno demanded.
"Master I cant help but think . . . arent you usually trying to win over Akane Tendo, or that girl with the pigtail? Why are you suddenly obsessing over Nabiki Tendo? You and she are . . . not exactly close . . ."
"Harume's plan, Sasuke!" Kuno said impatiently.
"But master, you're--"
"I am not in the habit of being questioned by my inferiors!" Kuno snapped, "Obey me or find employment elsewhere, but do not question me, not now, Sasuke!"
Whatever the servant said in reply was spoken too softly for Yoshimi to hear.
But she'd heard enough. She's listened to what Kuno said in her absence, unsure that she could trust him, she'd assumed from what she'd learned of him thus far that he would not actually care for Tendo, but rather he'd use her for what she was good for, then leave her. If he was kissing her without orders this might not be the case, but on the other hand he may just have been attempting to help, genuinely seeking to provide additional pictures since Ryoga had not been swayed?
Oh but how did he know the first set hadnt worked on Ryoga? Had he switched them? Impossible!
Yoshimi decided her beloved could wait. As Kuno would observe Nabiki she would observe him as well to be sure he did not fail her.
And meanwhile of course Ryoga, currently P-Chan struggled to escape the jaws of Mercedes the gigantic dog. He wondered briefly why no one was helping him, he could hear them watching TV close by, he could even hear Ranma talking about how the dog better not slobber all over his ramen . . .
The young man had no idea about the plots within plots revolving around him, the dangers unknown that threatened to ruin all he held precious, to destroy him.
All Ryoga was aware of at that moment was how terrible Mercedes' breath was. He wasn't exactly sure when he'd been set free from the blazing inferno, but he'd certainly take it over Mercedes' mouth . . . Azusa's dog really needed a mint or something.
To Be Continued . . .
Next Time . . . Nabiki will take TERRIBLE REVENGE on Kinnosuke . . . by sleeping with him!? Shampoo and her prisoner raft back to Japan (and face the dreaded sea monster!) Ryoga might have to confront the truth when Yoshimi tells him about Nabiki and Kuno, and Ranma tells him about Nabiki's plans to be a porn star . . . how will he react? Will he believe them at all? After that Yoshimi and Maro will face off in Chapter 10 - Title Pending . . .
