Author's Note: You may have noticed that the more recent chapters are a little lengthier than others, I am aware that longer chapters for some reason means less readers but I figure this just gives those of you who remain more material to go over while you wait the next twenty years for my update. Thanks for all your reviews so far!

Charlotte's Sequel . . .
Chapter X (that means 10)
Title Pending . . .

Kinnosuke smiled encouragingly at Nabiki Tendo as they left the restaurant . . . he tried to give her a sort of 'you can take your cloths off and dance around for me' encouragement, but for all her supposed intelligence the girl just didn't understand the innuendo.
"Stop grinning at me like that, it's creepy you sickly little pervert." Nabiki said sweetly.
"Nabi-chan, do you think we could ever be . . . more than friends?"
"No." She said lovingly, making a loving gesture with her middle finger.
"When this is over . . . I wonder if I can keep your panties?" He hadn't meant to say that out loud, he knew she probably wouldn't agree.
"I thought we were celebrating our rivalry? All you've done is try to get me to let you put your hand on my leg!" Nabiki giggled lustfully.
"I'm not hearing a 'no' on the subject of the panties. Also, that wasn't my hand . . . it must have been the waiter's." Kinnosuke lied.
"No, you cant have any of my underwear, it's bad enough trying in vain to keep it away from Happosai. And if that wasn't you trying to touch me, explain the fork wounds in your right hand." Nabiki said with a smile.
"Yes well . . . I always was a sloppy eater, never did learn to use forks properly." Kinnosuke said.
"Oh-ho . . . well how about if you just die you mother --" Nabiki began but Kinnosuke cut her off.
"Do you like dogs?" Kinnosuke asked.
"What? Oh yeah, dogs are great, as long as they don't bite me we're cool." Nabiki licked her lips seductively.
"You ever do it with a dog?" Kinnosuke asked. "I think it'd be pretty neat to watch you do it with a dog." She punched him . . . sweetly.
"I'm am not 'doing it' with a dog! I never have, I never will!" Nabiki screamed . . . in a sexy tone?
"I was just kidding. Of course I'd get the first crack at you, the dog would have to wait." Kinnosuke winked.
"I'm going to destroy you." Nabiki giggled like a horny school girl.
Now . . . what really worried Kinnosuke was that he wasn't imagining any of this . . . she really was speaking to him with a hint of lust in her voice. Well he had imagined her punching him sweetly, there'd been nothing sweet about the punch aside from the fact that it didn't really hurt as much as it probably would have it it'd been delivered by Kuno, or Ryoga. But if it weren't for that and the whole stabbing his hand with the fork every time he reached for her sweet inner thigh he'd swear this girl was just about ready to strip down and fulfill his every desire.
It was kind of scary.
Sexy . . . but scary.
Of course how could she resist his sexy charms? She was just a woman after all, and women simply dropped like flies for his charm.
'You have to start teaching classes, you devil you!' Kinnosuke thought to himself. He noticed Kuno and his little brother or whoever that bucktoothed guy was, were following him. He'd looked back to sneer at Kuno whenever Nabiki wasn't looking but the swordsman just kept pursuing from a distance. 'How pathetic of you Tate-chan. Getting a good show at least?' He wondered. 'Just wait, it'll get better you loser!' "You should hold onto my arm, goddess." Kinnosuke smiled.
"Why is that so incredibly important to you?" Nabiki cooed.
"Because every time you do Tate-chan turns red!" Kinnosuke chuckled.
"Huh?" "I said . . . it's a dark night. I wouldn't want to get separated from you."
"Whatever." Nabiki sighed longingly. "You boys . . . I always have to hold onto you or you just wander off."
"Well . . . I wont leave you like he does." Kinnosuke said pulling her closer to him. "I . . . cannot live without you."
"Stand still." Nabiki said suddenly. She released his arm and took ten steps away from him. They stood apart for a moment, looking at each other. Nabiki examined her watch then came back. "You managed to live without me for about thirty seconds." Nabiki said. "Then I got bored."
Kinnosuke wrapped his arm around her waist. "It was a painful thirty seconds." He assured her.
"Of course it was." Nabiki gave a suggestive wink.
"Nabi-chan . . . why are we wasting a beautiful night?"
"Beautiful? It just got done raining cats and dogs!" Nabiki laughed.
"Yes well . . . that's why we should be looking for indoor activities." Kinnosuke said.
"You're not going to give up until you get into my pants, are you?" Nabiki marveled.
"Absolutely not." Kinnosuke nodded.
"All right. Let's find some place private, and quiet . . . expensive, you're not laying me in some cheap roach motel."
Kinnosuke was taken aback. Had he heard her right? "What?"
"Well? Let's go find some place to do this." Nabiki said sweetly. "I've been maybe three days without sex, that's seventy two hours, I need you!" She squeezed him around the waist.
It was not unpleasant. "Well . . . what would your fiancé think?"
"He doesn't need to know . . . of course if you wanted to blackmail me into sleeping with you again I suppose it could hardly be helped." She smiled brightly at him.
Kinnosuke laughed. "So you finally understand how things work eh? Of course you shouldn't resist me, you come willingly as is proper, as any other woman would. You cannot deny my power! Oh my beautiful goddess, it pleases me to no end that you're finally ready to--"
"Even whore-goddesses get tired of waiting." Nabiki pointed out.
"Oh of course!" Kinnosuke gasped. 'Musnt let her lose interest! Not now that I have her where I want her!' he thought.
He rubbed his hands together. He was tempted to should over his shoulder at Kuno "Wanna come and watch me bang Tendo's brains out?" but he restrained himself since Nabiki probably wouldn't have appreciated that and though she was his rival he'd still treat her with respect . . . until after they were through, because then he'd have to go out and tell everyone in town, and romanticize it a bit, make it seem more intense.
"We can go to my house. Akari wont mind." Kinnosuke said.
"Oh, so Akari did find you." Nabiki sounded impressed. "I figured she'd wander Asia for a few years, then stumble upon some other Kinnosuke."
"You know her?" Kinnosuke asked. Maybe he could get a little pre-sex-show from the two girls.
"That's not important. I uh . . . don't want to do it at your place. Too much risk we'd wake your parents . . . no I want you to take me some place expensive . . . a nice hotel! We'll order room service."
"But we just ate." Kinnosuke said. "Why would we need room service?"
"Who said we'd eat what we order?" Nabiki asked but didn't bother to explain.
She let Kinnosuke use his imagination.
And what an imagination he had!

Nabiki was laying on a very comfortable bed . . . fully clothed. She yawned. What a day! And it wasn't over yet. "Kinno-chan, I have the tiniest of questions for you."
"Yes?" Kinnosuke asked as he attempted to pick the lock to the little refrigerator filled with various alcoholic beverages.
"What ever did you do with those silly pictures of me and that nobody, Kuno?"
"Oh them!" Kinnosuke chuckled, forgetting all about the lock and walking over to Nabiki. "So my goddess has an ulterior motive to surrendering her body to me does she?"
"Not at all." Nabiki giggled. "I'm just curious."
"Sure you are." Kinnosuke grinned at her. Nabiki got an unhappy feeling in her gut that he wasn't going to just go along with her plan. She sat up and tensed, just in case he tried to jump her. "I have them right here." He patted his coat pocket and revealed an envelope. He walked over and put it on the night stand. "You can have them . . . when we're finished." He said.
"Oh don't be silly!" Nabiki giggled, slapping his chest as hard as she could, "I've got an appetite that an entire classroom full of teenage boys in an all boy's school with a sexy female teacher who sleeps in one day and then accidentally comes to class in her underwear, couldn't hope to match."
"A bit lengthy," Kinnosuke said, "but a stirring comparison. You're a quite disturbed, perverted young woman, goddess."
"Sure. Why not." Nabiki shrugged. Though she was getting a little annoyed with the mocking way he kept calling her a goddess.
"Come now, as you said before we're wasting a beautiful night."
"You said that." Nabiki pointed out.
"Does it matter?" Kinnosuke asked moving closer.
"No, I suppose not." Nabiki decided. She pulled him down on top of her, and helped him remove his shirt.
His hands came onto her breasts, she shoved them away a bit too roughly, but he didn't seem to mind. She quickly undid his pants, he tried for her sweater, she let him have it.
She was wearing a T-shirt underneath it.
In no time at all Kinnosuke was completely nude while Nabiki maintained her own undergarments and her skirt. He kissed her and tried to get his tongue into her mouth, she kept her jaws clamped. She knew if his tongue got into her mouth she'd bite him and then all would be lost!
"Is there something wrong?" Kinnosuke asked.
"Absolutely not!" Nabiki giggled, fixing her skirt. "What in the world would make you ask such a question?"
"Well you keep shoving my hands away."
"Oh I'm just a little nervous!" Nabiki said simply. "That's all, hey you have a condom right?"
"Oh sure." Kinnosuke said. "After all, you can never be too careful." "Well? Is there some reason you're not wearing it then?" Nabiki asked, glancing at the clock.
Kinnosuke got off her and she sat up again. He stomped off to some corner to apply the "stupid little balloon" as he called it.
Then there was a knock at the door. "Get that Nabi-chan, you're more decent than I am." Kinnosuke said.
"And I'm also wearing more clothing." Nabiki nodded. "But if I were to move at all my sex drive will burn out completely. No, I have to lie here if you want me to stay interested. Just use one of the bath robes, you and I both know you were going to end up stealing it anyway." Kinnosuke sighed and threw a robe over himself and came over to the door. He was probably telling himself that it was all going to be worth it in a few moments.
He was right. It would all be worth it.
For Nabiki Tendo that is.
He opened the door, Nabiki got out of bed quickly, strode over to him, and leaned against his back.
"I thought you had to stay still?" He said.
"Changed my mind." She said. She took a marker out of her skirt pocket and pulled the robe away from Kinnosuke's upper torso, leaving him only the sash and lower, his arms trapped behind his back by the sleeves. She drew a little graffiti on his back.
"Uh-huh . . . what are you doing?" He asked nervously.
"Love tattoos." Nabiki said, writing a rude word on his back.
"Eh . . . she's eh . . . a little drunk." Kinnosuke explained.
"She'd have to be." The 'lady' pushing the cart shrugged, waiting for her tip. She was cute with long hair and adorable eyes and a name tag that read "Kurenai."
"You're five minutes late." Nabiki said casually as she drew an obscene picture. "Did I not tell you over the phone exactly when to arrive?"
"Yes well I'm terribly sorry. The uh . . . elevator. Yeah." Nabiki nodded, and finished the last of her permanent ink tattoos. Oh sure they'd wash off eventually, (calling into question the title of such ink) but not soon enough. Now it was time for some real fun!
She yanked the rest of Kinnosuke's robe away, and shoved him outside. "Oh my, looks like you tripped Kinno-chan!" She cried with feigned concern.
As soon as Kinnosuke was out of the room Nabiki slammed the door shut behind him and locked it. She was fairly sure she heard the Snap! Snap! Snap! of a camera as Tsubasa Kurenai, disguised as the bus-girl took pictures of Kinnosuke, and the attractive tattoos Nabiki had drawn on him. She regretted not putting one on his forehead.
Well not even she was completely perfect.
"Nabiki!" Kinnosuke cried in horrified shock. "Nabi-chan what are you doing?"
"The door's stuck darling."
"This is uh . . . no time for games, open the door!"
"What ever for?" Nabiki wondered loudly.
"You stole my cloths!"
"I left you the condom!" She protested.
"Nabi-chan!" She almost felt bad for him. "You cant do this! I'll give you the pictures!" Kinnosuke pleaded.
"I already have them!" Nabiki laughed.
"People are staring! I'll tell them all who I came here with!"
"The few who know who the heck you're talking about probably wont care!" Nabiki pointed out. "I certainly don't."
"Will you stop taking pictures of me?" Kinnosuke demanded, that one Nabiki guessed was directed at Tsubasa, her hench-man in this scheme of evil. "Nabi-chan, there's sort of a crowd gathering!"
"Well just try not to expose yourself to the children! Come on now I ordered those pies for a reason, cover yourself!"
"GYYAAHH! It burns!"
Nabiki laughed and went about getting dressed as Kinnosuke began to frantically bang on the door. She knew he'd probably be upset about this in the morning. Maybe she and Ryoga should take another road trip.
"You win!" Kinnosuke tried, "I'll tell you everything! Everything! The whole diabolical plan! It wasn't my fault!"
"Everything about what diabolical plan?" Nabiki wondered, but didn't bother to continue talking to Kinnosuke through the door. She simply got dressed, examined the envelope of pictures and negatives, chuckled sinisterly and prepared to climb down the fire escape. "You're right Kinnosuke, I am a goddess!" Then it hit her, full on . . . her fatal error.
"Where's the bloody fire escape!? What am I supposed to do in the event of a fire, hide in the oversized heart shaped bath tub?!" She turned back to the door. On the other side of it was Kinnosuke . . . and common sense told her that he wasn't happy. On the other hand madness told her she could probably take him in a fair fight . . . if she went for the knees . . . and had a gun . . . why hadn't she bought a gun?
'This has never happened before!' She realized. 'I'm trapped with no way out? No way! My plans never backfire like this! This isn't happening!" Nabiki thought desperately. She looked around. Okay, this was going to be tricky . . .
"Kinno-chan . . . my love, my darling . . ." Nabiki said, adopting the voice of a sweet, adorable virginal air head, "if I open this door, will you promise not to break every bone in my poor, delicate body?"
"Yes, please, anything!" Kinnosuke pleaded.
"Okay." Nabiki said calmly. "I'll let you in . . . don't be mad now." She said, she opened the door slowly.
As she'd expected Kinnosuke pushed it open and rushed in, he closed it behind him quickly.
Nabiki kicked him in the back of the knee and opened the door again and introduced it to his face. "Holy cow that felt great!" She cried as Kinnosuke fell to the ground with a groan. She looked at the crowd. Nabiki noted with satisfaction that Tsubasa had disappeared. As per her instructions he'd likely ran off once out of film and would leave her camera with Kasumi. However the common folk just stood there staring at unconscious Kinnosuke and Nabiki the girl what did it to 'im.
"What are you looking at? This man attempted to rape me, it was all self defense! Now, mind your business." Nabiki said, giving them a dismissive wave.
The crowd seemed to just drone away muttering. But one person remained.
"Nabiki! What are you doing here?" That person demanded in a parental tone.
"Nothing that concerns you. Might I ask who you're doing here?" Nabiki asked.
"Oh-ho, no one, no one . . . don't be silly." Nodoka laughed nervously, leaning against what Nabiki guessed was probably the door to her room. "The uh . . . house was being fumigated. Terrible rat infestation."
"Uh-huh." Nabiki nodded. "What a believable story. How about if you just let me go back to what I'm doing and you go back to whomever you're doing, and we'll just pretend we never saw each other here, okay?"
"Nabiki, what would your father say if he knew you were at a place like this with a boy who doesn't seem to be your fiancé?" Nodoka frowned.
"Hey, hey! Just because you're having an affair with my dad doesn't mean you're my mother, you understand that?" Nabiki demanded sternly. "Don't get all parental with me, if you were my mother I'd probably have turned out to be a comic book artist, a crack whore, or fan-fiction writer!" (With just a hint of self loathing GrimmZ)
Nodoka didn't seem at all stung by the words. She just walked over and examined Kinnosuke. "He's rather cute actually." She said.
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Nabiki scoffed. She'd noticed Kinnosuke's cuteness way back when, it didn't really matter to her now.
"Help me with him." Nodoka said.
Nabiki raised an eyebrow at her nympho maniac of an aunt. The woman more than twice her age who'd gone and stolen away her future as a porn star! "I beg your pardon?"
"We need to get him on the bed." Nodoka explained.
"Hey, hey! I don't like Kinnosuke much, and I'm sure he deserves whatever fate inflicts upon him, but isn't that sort of like a violation? I mean he's not even conscious and--"
Nodoka laughed. "Nabiki, do you really think I'm that terrible?"
"Well no, I guess not . . ." Nabiki wasn't really sure if she was lying or not, but she suspected she probably was.
"We cant just let any old person wander in and rob the poor boy blind." Nodoka explained.
"Cant we, No-chan? Cant we?" Nabiki asked slyly.
"We'll leave him on the bed, he can wake up later." Nodoka said firmly. "Then I'm going to walk you home." She opened the door to her room and shouted, "Uh, sorry boys, I have to take my niece home . . ." Nabiki heard a male voice say something she couldn't make out. "Yes she's over eighteen . . ." Nodoka answered, a second male voice spoke up now, indistinct. "No she is not going to join the fun, she's engaged you buffoons, wait until after she sees what sort of torture marriage is! Anyway, I'll be back in an hour." Nodoka said. At least five men grunted various good-byes.
"I think I'm going to throw up." Nabiki informed Nodoka.
"Well if you're lucky it's just the flu, next time tell your boyfriend to use protection. Unless you think you can convince Ryoga it's his." Nodoka said.
It took Nabiki a moment to understand what the heck that was supposed to mean, when she did she laughed bitterly and helped Nodoka get Kinnosuke onto the bed. She checked the envelope of pictures one last time, then she and Nodoka left.

"Strictly out of curiosity . . ." Nodoka said after they'd walked for a while, "Why did you draw all that stuff on his back?" "What stuff?" Nabiki asked innocently.
"Are you telling me it wasn't you who wrote "Nabiki Rules Forever", "His other ride's his sister", and who could forget the arrow pointing to his butt saying "Insert manhood here"." Nodoka chuckled. "Then there were the pictures you drew, I guess I don't have to describe them for you, and of course there were the little obscenities you wrote, words that I assure you wont be spoken out of my mouth."
"With all the things you allow in your mouth No-chan, it surprises me greatly that you'd be concerned with what comes out." Nabiki said.
"Very amusing." Nodoka smiled. "How did you write all that without him noticing?"
"I write fast." Nabiki shrugged.
"Well I doubt he'll be visiting the public bath any time soon." Nodoka laughed softly. Then she asked, "Aren't you afraid of his retaliation?"
"Absolutely not. This was my retaliation for his trying to blackmail me, I'm entitled to it! He has no right to retaliate for this minor act."
"Nabiki . . . are you that stupid? He'll retaliate against you, you'll retaliate again, him again, you again forever. Or, considering the humiliation you've put him through tonight, and assuming he doesn't get amnesia after that blow to the head, what makes you think he wont try to harm you physically?"
"Because he knows my little sister can take him. And if she doesn't, that's what Ryoga's for." Nabiki shrugged. "He's powerless." Nabiki shuddered, accidentally having imagined what it must be like to know you'd been humiliated like that, unable to respond to it in any way, living with it for the rest of your life . . . until you robbed a gas station with an unloaded pistol and got yourself gunned down by the overzealous cops.
She felt sorry for Kinnosuke, but the thought of him in therapy over this made up for it. 'That'll learn him. Don't mess with me.' She decided she'd have to have it written on a shirt, so others would know.
She should have felt great, on top of the world . . . but Nodoka was making her feel like maybe it had been over kill or something. Too much . . .
Well Nabiki didn't need the older, more promiscuous woman ruining her natural high, if this kept up she'd have to seek an unnatural one. "I think I can find my way home from here." She told Nodoka.
The older woman smiled kindly. "It's late. Be careful. Is that what you want me to say?"
"It'd be nice, but a simple 'goodbye' would pass too." Nabiki shrugged.
"I'm going to make sure you get home safely." Nodoka said, still smiling.
"I uh . . . oh fine, whatever."
"Unless of course . . ." Nodoka said in a conspiritous whisper, "if home isn't where you're planning on going right now . . . why not come with me back to my place?"
"The place that's being gassed for rats? Not on your life! Changing over to girls are you?" Nabiki demanded.
Nodoka laughed. "No Nabiki, I just thought you might want to talk."
"I do not!" Nabiki hissed. "Not with the woman who stole my job!"
"Technically I didn't steal it. Yutaro offered it to me after our . . . oh I'd say third time."
"How did you guys manage to do it three times?"
"Well it was a boring day so--"
"Never mind, I don't want to know!" Nabiki scowled. "I just want to go home, take Ryoga upstairs, lock the door and . . . well the rest's none of your business."
"Wasn't the boy at the hotel enough for you?"
"Nothing happened with him."
"Maybe it's because you wrote all over his back?"
"I didn't want anything to happen with him!" Nabiki clarified.
"So you say. But inside you beats the heart of a woman, and a very independent woman at that."
"I'm going to marry Ryoga." Nabiki said simply.
"Why?" Nodoka asked.
Nabiki opened her mouth but nothing came out.
She knew why! She had a reason, she really did! And it was a good one, she knew it was . . .
But for the life of her she couldn't bring it to mind.
She'd gone too long without answering now, so she just scoffed.
"I see." Nodoka nodded knowingly.

Shampoo's eyes were twitching with annoyance. Steering a raft as a cat was . . . well, not a great deal of fun.
"Mrow!" She roared at her prisoner for help. But Lo-Chun didn't seem to understand, she just ignored her and clung to the raft looking something like a deer without antlers wearing a very wet fur coat. Lo-Chun, the llama didn't have any opposable thumbs with which to grip the ropes and so she used her teeth which incidentally was proving less than effective.
"Mroww!" Shampoo commanded, for some reason Lo-Chun didn't seem to understand, Shampoo dug her claws into the wooden raft and held on for dear life.
The waves just kept coming! Monster waves the size of mountains, Shampoo did not find it very difficult to believe that there might well be sharks, or even whales caught tumbling through those waves, at any moment the small cat expected to be crushed beneath the weight of a sperm whale . . .
Actually that fear was also driven by curiosity, Shampoo hoped to find out why the whales were called 'sperm' whales, she assumed they simply looked the name.
And that would be really funny to see.
However now was not the time for perverted curiosity! The rain hammered down onto the little raft, Shampoo could feel the sea rising, a wave was rising up right under them!
No . . . it was a whale! Oh no, a whale was surfacing under them! It would capsize the raft!
Only it didn't . . . the raft simply rose and then fell. Perhaps it had just been a wave after all . . .
"RROOOAAARRRR!"
"Mrow?" Shampoo didn't know where that roar had just come from . . .
She turned and looked back , she almost wished she hadn't. Her cat eyes could see perfectly in the darkness the large shape in the water. It's long neck sticking out above the water like long-extinct dinosaur, a pair of long tentacles reaching out above the water and waving about aimlessly, surely they'd hit the raft eventually.
As a human girl Shampoo would not have been concerned. She would simply have armed herself with a sword, a mace, a spear, a bow, bombori, a paper clip, whatever she had available to her, and leapt into the water to pursue, kill and then perhaps eat the monster, however as an adorable house cat she was powerless!
Or . . . was she?
Her entire body was filled with energy, cats were, after all, hunters. Terrible predators that were known to toy with their food before eating it, or toy with it, leave it mortally wounded, and then simply not eat it. Cats really were ferocious little beasts, which was probably why some people liked them so much better than dogs.
Shampoo could feel it inside her, the cat's power! Before she thought it over, before she really knew what she was doing . . . she leapt for the sea monster!
She splashed into the water several feet from the raft and further still from the monster.
The sea monster--which Shampoo now realized had been moving away--turned, somehow hearing the splash above the roar of the storm, it looked back at Shampoo . . .
It's tentacles came down, Shampoo was powerless, unable to dodge!
WHAPLOOSH!
WHAPLOOSH!
Both tentacles slammed into the water with a ferocity that made Shampoo cringe. If only she were human!
The waves caused by both tentacles slapping into the water tore the raft to shreds, a hunk of it landed near shampoo, but the rest of it and Lo-Chun was hurled into the air as if a bomb had hit it! Shampoo took a small bit of comfort in the belief that llamas probably couldn't swim.
At least she wouldn't go down alone!
Suddenly a huge tentacle came up out of the water clutching Lo-Chun, and another came up, grasping a piece of the boat.
Both it's tentacles were distracted! Shampoo could now swim for the piece of the raft and hope that maybe the waves would push her towards land! She'd done all she could to save Lo-Chun . . .
Well technically she'd done nothing . . . she'd done all she was willing to do to save Lo-Chun!
But to her horror a third tentacle came up out of the water! A third! The beast turned it's dinosaur head, and clutched Shampoo tightly!
The little cat felt her insides being smashed! She wriggled, and squirmed and struggled and tried to pull herself free with every ounce of strength her cat body possessed . . . and learned that the tentacle was not inescapable when she flew out of it like a bullet, slamming into the sea monster's left eye, causing it to throw it's head back in a deafening roar of pain. The head splashed into the water, Shampoo splashed into the water!
Cat limbs kicked and swam to reach the surface, Shampoo struggled to near the monster's head, but up it came, large, impressive, intimidating . . .
This was it! All or nothing! If only cats were built for water!
Oh why on earth had she attacked the thing in the first place?
The sea monster's tentacles raised and came down on her again!
"Merow?" Hey! Wait a minute . . . why had she attacked this thing in the first place? Really . . . c'mon!
No time to worry about that, the tentacles slammed down again causing huge waves, this time Shampoo gripped the tentacle, it was the very one that crushed the life force out of Lo-Chun!
Shampoo didn't have much time to bask in the light of the llama-girl's death, she held for dear life as the monster raised it's tentacle above the water and scanned with it's remaining eye searching for her. Content that she was nowhere to be seen it raised itself further out of the water, and brought it's tentacles in to it's mouth to feet on the wreckage of the ship.
Shampoo held tightly to it's tentacle as it began to move towards the mouth. The beast spotted her just seconds away from it's large tyrannosaurus mouth, it paused and Shampoo leapt! Right on the nose! She rushed forward and swiped at the other eye, then dug her claws into the muzzle as the beast threw it's head backwards!
WHAPLOOSH!! (I love writing that)
The beast's head fell back into the water! Shampoo held on! For the sake of her life, of her future she had to hold on!
The monster raised it's head above the water again, and moved it about back and forth frantically. It was blind, one eye destroyed, the other swollen shut after a cat-missile had slammed into it. Having recently believed herself blind Shampoo could understand, even pity the beast in it's fear. But she didn't care! This beast had destroyed her raft and left her stranded in the middle of the ocean, miles away from her beloved Ranma!
She began scratching and clawing at it until her claws were worn and bloody, the beast occasionally swung it's head to one side or the other in an attempt to shake her off, but kitty cat reflexes were superior to giant sea monster head swinging and Shampoo managed to catch hold of the beast every time . . .
Except for the last time, her claws worn away to nothing by the monster's thick leathery hide, Shampoo saw the large amount of blood pumping out of it's forehead and wondered why it didn't simply use it's tentacles to swipe her away.
And the instant she thought that, a tentacle came in at a thousand miles per hour!
TWHAPP! (Not as much fun as the other sound . . )
Shampoo flew off into the distance! She saw lights, lights at the end of her long, dark, rainy flight . . . so this was what it was like . . . to die? She let out one last resounding "MMEEEERRROWWWWWWW" as she hurled towards the light, the after life, the wondrous beauty of eternal slumber . . .
WHAPLOOSH!! (Yay)
She hit water!
Hot water!
"Holy cow! Some weird lookin' sea bird just landed in the hot tub!" Some man cried.
"Well get it out of there before the passengers arrive! You know how much they love that hot tub!" Some other man ordered.
Shampoo stuck her human head out above the water, she looked around. She was on a cruise ship!
The beast had whacked her all the way to a cruise ship, and killed off Lo-Chun for her . . . if she ever saw it again she'd have to thank it . . . right before she killed it that is.
She saw two men dressed in red uniforms, one was approaching the strangely relaxing hot tub . . . and Shampoo realized that she was--after going from cat to human--utterly naked.
She didn't have long to think about it as suddenly, as if from every corner of the ship fat, hairy men with several towels tied together around their waists came running chanting "Hot tub! Hot tub! Hot tub!" Shampoo screamed!
She screamed, and she screamed . . . and then cold water splashed onto her face!
She opened her eyes, Lo-Chun was standing over her with a bucket.
"Mrow?" Shampoo sighed in relief, realizing it had all been a dream.
Lo-Chun followed the bucket of cold water with a bucket of hot water, "You were screaming and so I woke you."
"Why didn't you wake Shampoo with the hot water?" Shampoo demanded.
"I'unno." Lo-Chun shrugged. "Anyway your raft idea . . . it is stupid! With no real walls it is only a matter of time before a powerful wave renders us thumbless!"
"Shampoo has realized this." Shampoo admitted.
"I have a better idea anyway." Lo-Chun said, she indicated a pair of boxes, besides which stood a tall young woman with a hammer. "We shall transform ourselves, and then mail ourselves to elder Cologne, it is inexpensive and allows us to avoid metal detectors."
"Shampoo not so sure about this . . ."
"You want to go back to Japan and see womanizing gender switching Ranma, no?"
"Yes?" Shampoo said, the way Lo-Chun had said it she felt as if it were the sort of thing she should say 'no' to.
"Then mail yourself. It is overnight shipping. I left you plenty of air holes." Shampoo examined the box, it didn't look very comfortable, but before she could say or do anything she was splashed with water and shoved into the little crate, the unknown woman nailed it shut.
"Now once I have transformed, I shall enter the crate, then you know what to do." Lo-Chun instructed.
"Yeah, I know your plan. But really, it's sort of . . . well, never mind. Hey, how do you two transform like that?"
"That is a jealously guarded secret technique of our special form of Amazonian Martial Arts." Lo-Chun said.
"Martial Arts? How's turning into a cat, or a llama gonna help you in a fight?" The unnamed woman demanded.
"We . . . uh . . . just stick to the plan!" Lo-Chun cried.
"All right, you're the boss." The woman shrugged, then muttered something about how cool it would be to transform into something more like a wolf, or a lion.
Shampoo frowned and sat in her box. Well, at least it was overnight delivery.

Ryoga's eyes opened slowly, his head hurt and he couldn't move his legs.
Before panic could set in he noticed the enormous dog lying on them like a giant blanket. "Oh great, all I need is for you to give me flees again." He said, rubbing Mercedes behind the ears to rouse him.
"He really is just the sweetest thing . . . once you're cured of your alternate form that is." Kasumi said.
Ryoga nodded to her as the giant dog got off of him. He hugged his legs to his chest like long lost friends. "It's cold." He noticed.
"Ah yes . . . well we've lost a portion of yet another wall." Kasumi frowned.
"Wow . . . what's keeping this place together?" Ryoga asked.
"That's a good question. Everyone is supposed to spend the night in tents in the back yard, just to be safe."
"Why are we still in the house then?" Ryoga asked, recognizing this area as the guest room.
"Well two hours later father and mister Saotome are still attempting to pitch those very tents. They're making progress, I think they finally put out the fire." Kasumi said with a smile.
"Fire?" Ryoga narrowed his eyes and looked out towards the shattered wall to see a glimpse of the outside, but he couldn't see anything even remotely resembling a tent. He could hear Ranma and Mr. Saotome arguing though.
"I don't read Spanish!" Saotome snapped.
"You don't have t'read it, just look at the little pictures!" Ranma cried.
"I guess I'd better help them." Ryoga sighed.
"They did tell me to revive you for just such a purpose." Kasumi nodded. "But there's no rush. Things cant possibly get any worse out there."
"The dirt! Hit the dirt!" Soun screamed.
"Honestly dad, if this propane tank blew that dumb rock wouldn't save you or the rest of ourneighborhood!" Akane snapped.
Ryoga frowned, Kasumi patted his hand gently, "Relax," she instructed him calmly.
"How'd I get away from that dog's mouth?" Ryoga asked.
"Oh! You don't remember? Well I suppose you wouldn't." She gave him a supportive smile that seemed too much like pity for his taste, "He was parading around with you squirming in his jaws. I think he was looking for someone to praise him, then you bit down on his tongue, he let you go, you ran like made and slammed into a wall. There's the dent right there." Kasumi pointed to a small hole in the wall the size of P-Chan's head from snout to shoulders. "Ranma splashed you with hot water and everything was fine again. Except of course for the undeniable fact that you were naked, Ranma threw a pair of pants on you. I think they're backwards."
"Ranma the hero." Ryoga said bitterly for some reason. He rubbed his head and tried to recall the rest of the day's events.
He was pretty much drawing a blank.
"Where's Nabiki?" He asked.
"Oh, it's nothing to worry about." Kasumi smiled.
"I wasn't worried . . . until you told me not to be, so now I am." Ryoga frowned.
"She just went out with Yutaro for a moment . . . some hours ago."
"Yutaro?" Ryoga rubbed his head and slowly memory returned to him. "Wait a minute, she's been out with Yutaro--that guy who tried to rape Akane at the hot springs--for hours?"
"Well no, he came back some time ago, she's still out there." Kasumi said. Then added, "I'm sure she's fine."
"She's alone?" Ryoga demanded. He got up, he'd go look for her, make sure she was safe . . .
Right after his head stopped swimming . . .
He fell down to the ground, Kasumi sighed. "I don't recommend standing up again." She said gently. "Nabiki will take care of herself." The young woman assured Ryoga . . . but she didn't sound very convinced of what she said.
Ryoga closed his eyes. His head was still pounding. "I hope she's okay." He said.
"Don't worry about it. You'd better rest, that was quite a blow. You have the tournament to worry about" Kasumi sighed.
"The tournament!" Ryoga cried. "When is it?"
"I'm not sure if anyone, the Koruda fighters included, can remember." Kasumi shrugged. "Father seems to be under the impression that it is tomorrow, Mr. Saotome says it was yesterday."
"Who'se fighting for the dojo?" Ryoga asked.
"Ranma is the team captain, then there's you, father offered doctor Tofu our old chain saw if he'd fight for our side which he accepted, Ukyo has agreed to join our effort as well." Ryoga nodded. Normally he'd object to Ranma being team captain, but his eyes felt sort of heavy . . .
Suddenly he heard a crunching noise, and then the wall to the guest room caved in, a big screen TV stormed into the guest room shouting "CHARGE!!" and rushing towards Kasumi!
Ryoga sprang into action, he sat up and punched the big TV right in the center of the screen, there was an agonizing squeak and Tsubasa appeared a moment later, her--that is his head poking out of the top of the TV, with a pair of antenna as a hat. "That wasn't very nice!" Tsubasa pointed out, but Ryoga had already swooned, his head pounding. "Aha! So with minimal effort I am victorious in the end!"
"Ranma is out back." Kasumi said helpfully.
"I come here, not for Ranma Saotome! But for you Kasumi!"
Kasumi smiled pleasantly. "I'm flattered, but not interested I'm afraid." Tsubasa however shoved his hand through the fist sized hole Ryoga had made in the screen. "From Nabiki! She commands you to guard it with your life!"
"Why are you giving me this?" Kasumi frowned. "Did something happen to Nabiki?"
"Where is she!" Ryoga demanded, sitting up swiftly and falling back again.
"That's three times Ryoga, you're going to cause brain damage if you keep it up." Kasumi pointed out sweetly.
"Nabiki isn't in any trouble!" Tsubasa said, "She hired me to take some pictures, told me to take the camera straight to you when the film ran out. You are to guard it with your life until she returns, end of report!"
"Since when are you on Nabiki's payroll?" Ryoga demanded.
"Oh I'm just doing this as a favor . . . she mentioned cookies?" Tsubasa said, looking at Kasumi expectantly.
"Oh certainly!" Kasumi nodded. She looked down at Ryoga and added, "I'll come back, you rest yourself . . . and stop sitting up." Ryoga nodded and rubbed his head, Kasumi led Tsubasa towards the kitchen, "I certainly hope you can pay for the repairs on that wall." She said.
"Wouldn't it be cheaper to condemn the place and get a new one by now?" Tsubasa asked. "I thought your father won some sort of contest?"
"Yes but the prize was in American currency, so they spent much of it in Hawaii." Kasumi said, and she and Tsubasa wandered out of earshot.
Ryoga went to sleep, but all his dreams were nightmares!
Ranma beating him! Mercedes almost swallowing him! Ranma beating him some more! Being engulfed by flames! More defeats by Ranma!
"You're weak! Too weak!" A familiar voice hissed at Ryoga.
It was his own voice.
He woke up, sat up in bead, his head swam again but he fought and stayed up. Not weak! He wasn't weak! He'd never been weak!
And yet he was! Yes he was! He always had been!
"No!" He snapped suddenly. He looked around the room, it was dark but the hole Tsubasa had left in the wall had let in the starlight--also a very cold air. "I'm not . . ." Ryoga whispered quietly.
"Not what?" Ranma asked. Ryoga scowled and whipped his head around to see Ranma--just before his swimming head caused him to fall over again--leaning against the wall near him, Genma the panda was nowhere to be seen.
Ryoga scowled at Ranma. "I didn't say anything." He growled.
Ranma shrugged. "Whatever." He was quiet for a while, then he said, "Kasumi wanted me to tell her when you woke up." He grinned, "She seems kinda worried about you, you do don't have somethin' going on with her do ya?"
"What? What are you talking--" Ryoga demanded, sitting up again, head swimming he fell down.
"You okay?" Ranma frowned.
'Weakling . . . looser . . .' That soft voice in Ryoga's head added.
"Shut up!" Ryoga snapped.
"Whoa! I was just askin', don't get all up in my face just because you fell for some cheap illusion."
"Illusion?" Ryoga wondered.
'Fool . . . weak minded fool!' The soft voice became a little louder.
"Yeah, that Maro guy's attack? That's all it was." Ranma said, he sounded like he was trying to be reassuring, he was only making the voice in Ryoga's head stronger. "You weren't really drowning, or whatever."
"Drowning?" Ryoga scratched his head.
'Weakling.'
"I was on fire, not drowning." Ryoga said.
'Fool.'
Ranma shrugged. "Maybe it's different for everyone. Akane said that she was lost at sea, drowning."
"What happened to you?" Ryoga asked, though he was already remembering . . . Ranma had simply ran out of the flames.
"Like I'd let some weak illusion fool me!" Ranma chuckled, then he frowned apologetically, but for all the effect it had on Ryoga, Ranma might as well have sneered. "Anyway I beat the guy in the end, he left and probably wont come back."
Ryoga's mind was flooded with memories of the day, Akane in trouble and he'd been unable to help her.
'I'm too weak!' Ryoga thought to himself.
"No!" Ryoga hissed to himself. "No! No!"
"Yeah, yer right. They always come back, and you should know, ya always managed to find yer way back after I beat yer sorry butt." Ranma chuckled.
"I'm not weak!" Ryoga roared, Ranma sort of jumped in surprise.
For some reason Ryoga found that incredibly satisfying.
"I didn't say ya were." Ranma frowned. "You feeling okay?"
"Ranma!! Are you teasing Ryoga again?" Akane shouted from far off.
"Gosh it's like the girl's got the world's best hearing or something!" Ranma scowled.
Ryoga rubbed his head. "Why is it so dark? How long was I out? Has Nabiki come back yet?"
"Slow it down." Ranma laughed. "It's dark because it's nighttime and . . . well let's just say Pop and I ran into a sort of a snag while we were pitching the tents . . ." "Eh?" "Okay! Okay! We hit a power line while we were tunneling!"
"Power line? While you were tunneling!?" Ryoga demanded. "Don't you people know how to pitch a tent!?"
"Of couse we do!" Ranma cried defensively "Hey, what we hit wasn't as bad as what Akane and her dad hit!"
"Don't tell him Ranma!" Akane roared from a distance.
"I swear her ears are like--anyway they hit a sewage pipe." Ranma sneered.
"Why were you people tunneling at all?" Ryoga demanded.
"As for how long you were out," Ranma said, changing the subject, "you've been unconscious for ten minutes, but with no electricity all the clocks stopped working, still I'm pretty sure it's just been ten minutes. It's about eight or nine o'clock."
"And Nabiki?" Ryoga asked.
"Ain't back yet. But hey, the night is young, she'll be home in no time and--" Ranma cut himself off, probably keeping himself from adding something dreadful, or just plain insulting.
"I have to go find her." Ryoga decided, he got to his feet and fought the uneasiness. He was slowly recovering . . .
Yes, he felt better already.
"You wander off out there any the only thing yer gonna find is a cold. Actually I wonder if you could even find that you directionless wonder." Ranma teased.
"Ryoga!" Kasumi said, "lay down this instant!"
"I'm fine." Ryoga said, it wasn't really a lie either, he felt better.
"Hey, m'boy here gets hit by boulders an' calls it 'training,' you think a little wall could ever have him beat?" Ranma laughed, slapping Ryoga on the back which caused him to fall over like a rag doll.
"Since when am I your boy?" He demanded, looking up at Ranma from the pile his body had made on the floor.
Ranma shrugged, Kasumi smiled.
Ryoga stood up again, this time he'd stay that way.
Right after he fell down again he got up again and this time he'd really stay standing!
Yeah . . . that's better. This was some fine standing he was doing.
But still, he decided to sit down and save whatever dignity he retained.
That's when he heard it! The voice that filled him with dread!
"Down boy!" Yoshimi cried, Mercedes' barking sounded from the front yard, "Away with you, that's my coat, not your wife! Oh keep it then, I have more important . . . ewe . . ."
"Oh look Ryoga, one of your girlfriends has shown up!" Ranma chuckled.
"At least I'm keeping it down to two, you gender swapping jerk." Ryoga scoffed, Ranma scowled.
"Better a gender swapping jerk than a pig boy!" Ranma sneered.
"Really?" Kasumi asked.
Ranma paused for a moment, considering, then sighed. "No."
Yoshimi poked her head in through the hole in the wall that Tsubasa had made. "This place has a serious termite problem, why not simply move to a new home?"
"Houses don't grow on trees, Yoshimi." Ryoga said sharply.
"Except this one. It's made of wood." Yoshimi giggled at her own joke, one she'd probably stolen from a children's cartoon. "Oh Bubblegum, I've come because . . . well I wanted to know, will you accept my offer? Will you become my perfect husband, and be cured of your terrible malady?"
"You're my terrible malady." Ryoga scoffed. "Whatever that means."
"Silly." Yoshimi giggled. In the star light, Ryoga could almost swear her eyes were glowing with pure evil. "So? Will you be my husband?"
"Yoshimi . . ." Ryoga sighed. "You're a special . . . special girl."
"Yes I know!" She squealed excitedly, "Our wedding will commence on my eighteenth birthday!"
"However," Ryoga said sternly, "I am currently engaged to Nabiki."
"You were engaged to me first." Yoshimi pouted.
"I cannot just leave Nabiki, I love her." Ryoga said.
"Yes . . . really we're getting tired of hearing it." Ranma added. "Oh, I'm Nabiki, I love Ryoga! And I'm Ryoga, I love Nabiki! We make people sick with our mush and--"
"Shut up gigolo!" Ryoga cried.
"Love?" Yoshimi scoffed. "What you feel for that girl, you call love? What ever for? What you call love I call pure illusion, and in time you would have realized, after years of being married to her that what you feel is nothing more than left over teenage hormones ripping through your system! You 'love' her because she satisfies your carnal desires? Hah! You're not the only one you know." Yoshimi sneered.
Ryoga raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean?" He demanded.
"Oh no! She knows about Nabiki being a porn star!" Ranma gasped.
"Ranma!" Kasumi gasped too.
"RANMA!!" Akane roared from far off.
"Ranma!" Yoshimi cried triumphantly, pointing at Ranma, "You see? By the mouth of Ranma Saotome! She is unfaithful to you, do you not believe your own best friend?"
"We're not best friends!" Ranma and Ryoga cried at the same time.
"You're beloved Nabiki is not loyal to you at all! Not surprising for the woman who is possessed by Diao Chan!" Yoshimi cackled wildly.
"Diao Chan is a fictional character! A Fic-tion-al char-ac-ter!" Ryoga groaned. "Am I getting through to you? If Nabiki's possessed by any spirit, it's the spirit of greed! Greed and perversion!"
"Diao Chan, yes." Yoshimi nodded. Ryoga slapped his forehead. "But enough about her, let's talk about the betrayal . . . committed by her!"
"Let's not." Ranma said suddenly. "There'll be plenty of time fer that later, right now Ryoga needs rest."
"What?" Yoshimi frowned. "What he needs is truth. Truth and me why does no one else understand this? I grow impatient with your--"
"Truth, yeah, he's in need of that big time. But he just got his butt kicked, so what he really needs right now is rest." Ranma said.
"His butt . . . kicked? Who has defiled the butt of my love?" Yoshimi demanded suddenly, leaping to her feet. "Let him come forth and face ME! Who did this? Why is Ryoga-kun not in the hospital? He needs the finest medical attention!"
"Calm down!" Ranma said, "I already beat the guy's butt, he ran off wailin' like a banshee."
"But he lives!" Yoshimi hissed, there was that gleam in her eye, "For what he has done I will see him and any others involved in his plot dead by dawn!" She drew her gun, where she'd hidden it Ryoga didn't want to know, she twirled it around on her finger and grinned wickedly.
"You're serious, aren't you?" Ranma gapped.
"Deadly serious." Yoshimi nodded, Ryoga was certain her eyes were glowing with pure, insane rich girl evil!
"Well we eh . . . didn't really get his picture or anything but--" Ranma said.
"Never mind!" Yoshimi cried, "I shall consult the spy video cameras I placed around your property!" She ran off waving her gun in the air.
Ryoga lay back relieved she was gone, yet strangely uneasy as well.
"Listen . . . uh . . . about Nabiki being a porn star . . ." Ranma said uneasily.
"I know." Ryoga sighed. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel about that little tid bit. So that was her secret job? Right now he didn't even feel denial. It felt sort of like being told that earth was not the center of the universe. It was probably true, but what did he care? It didn't affect the way Ryoga felt about earth--er Nabiki. Even though he felt like it should. "I know." He said again.
"That I was lyin'? Tryin' to be funny?" Ranma asked.
"Sure . . . let's go with that." Ryoga said darkly. Was he refusing to concern himself over nothing, or failing to concern himself over something major? Was he just too afraid to face the truth?
Why should he be afraid of anything?
He looked over to Kasumi, she seemed to be having an inner struggle of her own, and Ryoga was terrified by the possibility that he knew why.
Was she was trying to decide whether or not to tell him that Ranma had been telling the truth? No, impossible. And yet . . . "I think what I really want," Ryoga said, "is to go to sleep. I don't want to think about Yoshimi, or Maro, or anything . . ."
But what about Nabiki? Ryoga knew how dark it could get at different times of night, and he refused to believe it was as early as Ranma said it was. It was verylate, and Nabiki still hadn't come back.
Ryoga guessed it was about midnight . . . he'd have to go find her.
"You really should get some rest." Kasumi agreed.
"Yeah, it's hard to tell if that thing on your head is a bump, or if yer gran'ma was a Unicorn." Ranma of course.
"No, no. I want rest, but I need to find Nabiki." Ryoga said.
"You couldn't find a cold!" Ranma scoffed.
"No, I think he found that." Kasumi said, feeling Ryoga's forehead.
Her touch seemed to linger a moment longer than necessary, it wasn't unpleasant, but somehow it made Ryoga slightly uncomfortable.
"I'm not impressed." Ranma scoffed. "Look, I'll find Nabiki for ya . . . right after my TV show."
"The power's out, you cant watch TV!" Ryoga shook his head. "Come on, there's some illusion wielding lunatic running around, Nabiki's out there alone, don't either of you care?"
"I hadn't thought of that really." Ranma said thoughtfully.
"Neither had I." Kasumi admitted.
"I'm not too concerned though, she's probably clever enough to see through illusions." Ranma shrugged.
"I don't care." Ryoga scowled, "I'm going!"
"Well . . . take Ranma with you." Kasumi said.
"Yeah, if we do run into that fan-boy you'll need me ta take care of business, and carry your useless butt back home." Ranma chuckled, Kasumi silenced him with a glare, and from far off Akane roared.
"RANMA!!"
"I am not weak!" Ryoga hissed. He got up and stormed off in the direction of . . . something.
He bumped into Nabiki, their heads collided.
It was bad enough for Ryoga since his head already ached, butfor Nabiki it must have been the equivalent of having her brains smashed in by a gold brick with a slice of lemon wrapped around it.
She shouted a couple profanities and rubbed her head.
"Wow!" Ranma gasped. "I'm impressed, man! A cold, and yer girl friend, this must be the most findin' you've done in one night since the doctors told yer parents there was no cure!"
"Cure for what?" Ryoga demanded, then he looked at Nabiki, "Does your head still work?" She scowled and uttered a few more obscenities, but Ryoga was convinced that this was her way of saying 'Yes. Yes it does. Thank you for your concern' it only sounded like she was insulting his mother.
He hugged her anyway. "You're alive at least! More than we'll be able to say for Ranma in about five minutes. I was so worried!"
"About what?" Nabiki demanded suddenly. "I wasn't with anyone, I swear! It was just me and . . . me."
"Hello!" Ranma's mother waved.
"And her." Nabiki admitted, "But that does not mean I was walking in her foot steps!"
"No one said you were." Kasumi frowned.
"'Course we were all thinking it." Ranma chuckled.
"Do you want to keep all your teeth?" Ryoga hissed.
"Like you could land a punch on me anyway." Ranma grinned, but he did shut up all the same.
"I take it I'm not supposed to tell them about your hotel adventure?" Nodoka whispered, Ryoga was close enough to hear it, he raised his eyebrows.
Nabiki glared daggers at Nodoka. "No, that wont be necessary, and I would have appreciated if you'd asked me that before we came in, or better yet, remembered how I told you not to say anything when we got here! In the future, assume that whatever I want them to know, I'll tell them." Nabiki somehow managed to scream and whisper at the same time.
She noticed the look Ryoga was giving her, and said, "I'll tell you later, just keep it quiet." She sounded less than honest, butRyoga shrugged.
Nabiki beamed at her older sister. "So Kasumi, do you have my camera?"
"Uhm . . . yes . . ." Kasumi was still frowning. "Tsubasa brought it by . . . he tore down another wall while he was at it."
"What's holding this place together?" Nabiki and Nodoka said at the same time.
"A miracle?" Kasumi offered. "Father has decided that we should all sleep in tents tonight."
"Oh great!" Nabiki groaned. "I return to civilization only to find I must go back to sleeping in a tent?"
"Forget the tents." Soun said, appearing behind Nabiki. "We're all moving into the dojo tonight. Ah Ryoga, good to see you alive--er awake. Well, you can carry the couch."
"The couch?"
"I'm not sleeping on the floor." Soun shrugged.
"Me either." Nodoka agreed, throwing her arms over Soun's shoulders. A panda appeared hovering behind them, claws ready to rip Soun Tendo to shreds.
"Uh . . . you know mom . . ." Ranma said suddenly, "We still have a house with great walls, why don't you and dad go there?"
Panda Saotome held up a sign reading "Excellent idea son!"
Nodoka pouted. "Well I guess we could do that. Oh my, I almost forgot I have a party to get back to!" She released Nabiki's father and ran off.
Soun sighed with relief. Ryoga wasn't sure why, sure Nodoka was his best friend's wife and that was reason to refuse her perversion . . . but Soun Tendo wasn't known to put up much of a fight whenever she got all suggestive. He said one thing, but in the end he always did another.
Then he realized he was still holding Nabiki when she squeezed him, and he found he understood. Girls make guys stupid sometimes. No, not just sometimes, the effect was constant.
"You know daddy, if we all camp out in the dojo," Nabiki said slowly for some reason, "Ryoga and Ranma will end up keeping us up all night with their arguing, how about if instead you old people stay in the house--you've lived good long lives--and the rest of us will cash in your life support early, and go rent some nice motel rooms?"
"Motel rooms?" Kasumi frowned.
"Yeah, me and Ryoga in one, Akane and Ranma in another, and you can invite a friend, it's like a coed sleep over in separate rooms." Nabiki winked at her older sister.
"You're almost as bad as Nodoka." Kasumi sighed.
"First of all . . . why am I suddenly an 'old people'?" Soun asked, "Secondly Akane is covered in human filth, she's not decent enough to go anywhere."
"DAD!!" Akane roared.
"Where is Akane?" Nabiki asked.
"Ukyo's still hosing her off." Soun shrugged.
"You should go to her Ranma." Nabiki observed, "She needs you."
"Hah! It's hard t'make yerself walk in the direction of someone who smells that bad." Ranma said. "I'll go to her after the stench goes from her."
"Anyway," Soun said, "while the motel idea holds some merit, I'm not nearly as old as you think, and grand children do not interest me at this time, I'd prefer for all of my daughters to remain without issue for at least another year ."
"Honestly daddy, you always assume the worst. If it makes you feel any better, we won't let Kasumi invite a friend." Nabiki sighed.
Ryoga smiled weakly at her. He really missed her when she wasn't around.
'Gosh I'm pathetic.' He told himself.
"Aren't we lucky Nabiki isn't a boy? With her libido, and some male genitalia, she'd knock up half the town in the time it takes me to kick Ryoga's sorry butt!" Ranma of course, no longer silent.
"Come off it, you know you want to get down with Akane." Nabiki scoffed.
"NABIKI!!" Akane roared.
"What's up with that?" Nabiki demanded.
"Maybe the sewage gave her super powers!" Ranma suggested. He got a couple of stares. "Hey, if toxic waste works for some people, why shouldn't sewage work for Akane?"
"Well . . . it is waste, and it smells pretty toxic." Soun scratched his chin, then he leapt up in triumph! "Now I have two daughters with super powers!" He did a little jig and everyone took a step away from him.
"So?" Nabiki asked. "As for the sleeping arrangements?"
"Well . . . you could check into a sleazy motel if you want, or you can stay here in the dojo . . . we can have a camp fire . . ." Soun said in a tempting way.
Ryoga wondered how they'd do that, but Nabiki didn't seem to care in the least. "A camp fire in the dojo?" He demanded.
"Oh yes, it worked once before when the skinny girl was here." Soun shrugged. "We told ghost stories."
"Neat." Ryoga admitted. Not the ghost stories, but the fact that Lo-Chun had been anywhere near a fire and hadn't caused an inferno, he remembered all too well their camping adventure in the American Yellowish Stony Park.
Turns out fire doesn't scare predators away, it attracts them, and a fire consuming much of the forest attracts quite a few predators.
The more you know.
"What is wrong with you people? The house is missing several patches of wall, and you want to start a fire in the dojo?" Nabiki groaned. "If you were doing this for insurance purposes I could understand, but I know you too well to think you'd be that dishonest!"
"She's right you know." Kasumi pointed out.
"Actually . . ." Soun scratched his chin . . . "Insurance eh? All right kids, new plan! You're going to stay at a motel, Saotome and I are going to buy some gasoline--er I mean hammers and try to repair the house." Ryoga frowned. He had this strange feeling like he should take anything with him that he didn't want to see perish in a fire.
Everyone else got that look too. Except for Nabiki who was practically hopping up and down.
What was the big deal? She'd slept in a motel just last night, in Ryoga's opinion motels were grossly uncomfortable and the food and television--if any--wasn't worth the extravagant price charged.
She grabbed his arm, "Ryoga and I share a room!" She announced.
Oh. That was the big deal.
Soun shook his head. "Kasumi, you're the oldest, you're in charge. But see to it that those two do not share a room. Keep the girls in one room and the boys in another."
"Yes father." Kasumi nodded.
Ranma saluted.
"This is great!" Ranma said. "Three girls in one room, and two guys in another."
"That's great?" Ryoga frowned.
"Heh-heh! Motels have pay-for-viewing movies! Maybe we'll see something Nabiki starred in!" Nabiki's eyes blazed at Ranma, Ranma looked sorry even before the picture frame hit his head.
"I haven't been in any movies!" Nabiki cried.
"Are you sure? 'Cause you're a dead ringer for that lady in Wing Captains." Ranma said, rubbing his head.
"The one that died, or the one that should have died?" Ryoga frowned.
"Should have died." Ranma said.
"Oh yeah." Ryoga turned his head sideways. "I see it."
Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "I bare no resemblance to any character from that idiotic movie! Mention it again and I'll make your lives into a hideous montage of humiliation and shame! Just like I did to Kinnosuke! Hah!"
"However, the odds of her appearing in a World War II film set in outer space for some reason, are far greater than the odds of her appearing in any of the smut videos Ranma is so much more likely to view."
"Thank you Kasumi."
"Because she knows, if she ever did expose herself in such a movie I'd hunt her down, drag her off that set, and take her to church where I'd force her to repent in front of the entire congregation."
"We'll talk about this later." Nabiki growled at Kasumi, then to Ryoga she said, "She's talking nonsense. You know Kasumi, always has to have her little jokes."
"Of course." Kasumi agreed.
Ryoga just gave a noncommittal grunt. He felt like sleeping now.

As Ranma had predicted, the motel had a wide variety of XXX movies. Neither boy actually felt like watching them, Ranma guessed Ryoga just didn't want to accidentally see Nabiki in one of them.
Honestly Ranma was scared half to death that his mother might pop up on a few of them. (even though he doesn't know about her new job yet.) he wondered if perhaps telling Nabiki how incredibly terrifying it was to be afraid you'd see someone you knew pop up in such a film, she might reconsider.
And if she reconsidered--he doubted she'd done so after talking to Akane--they could bring it out into the open and he could start making jokes about it.
He already had six saved up--make that seven.
Eight.
Anyway Ryoga had been pretty intent on simply going to sleep when they got here, Nabiki was pouting, and for some reason Akane was too when they were all separated.
Like she hadn't dressed up in armor and carried a ton of weapons with her that time they'd been left alone together in the house and she'd had a cold.
However Ryoga, and Ranma were unable to sleep since as it turned out they were rooming with Happosai, and though the pint sized martial arts master was running through the porn collection--all of which was going to be charged to Akane's dad's credit card--they had to keep guard and be sure that he didn't make any more attempts to crawl into bed with Akane.
It was unclear as to which bed Happosai would sleep in actually, there were two beds in the room, neither Ranma nor Ryoga were willing to share with each other, and Ranma was a little afraid of sharing with Happi, since he had no doubt that Happosai might splash him with cold water if he got too desperate.
There had been two attempts at just that already, both times it had been at Ryoga's expense, when Ranma leapt nimbly out of the way. Though Ranma pointed out that Ryoga's affliction could very well solve all their problems as it wouldn't be considered perverted at all if P-Chan spent the night nestled between a pair of Tendo sisters.
Ryoga had hit him.
His jaw still hurt.
He wasnt sure why Ryoga had reacted that way, Ranma was fairly certain that just a moment before he said it, P-Chan had been considering the best way to accomplish just that.
Happosai had pointed out that Ranma could simply transform and spend the night with Akane. He tried to hit Happosai, but the little man jumped out of the way.
So Ranma hit Ryoga.
Ryoga was still rubbing his jaw.
Happosai had tried to hold conspiracy with Ryoga, plotting that if Ranma spent the night with the girls they could use Ryoga's breaking point technique to make a hole and watch the fun. Happosai also suggested that he might be able to swipe a camera in just such an event.
Ryoga tried to hit him, but somehow ended up hitting himself.
Now Ranma was fast alseep--or rather, pretending to be, it was hard to sleep with some woman on the TV moaning and groaning and screaming because a candle was being melted over her nether regions--and Ryoga was hanging upside down from a rope trap Happosai had somehow managed to place when no one was looking.
There'd been a flash of light from the direction of the Tendo home not long ago.
From far off there was the sound of fire trucks, police sirens and ambulances.
Ranma tried not to concern himself with it.

The rain beat down outside of Maro's hide out. His sanctuary. He closed his eyes and scowled.
Rain, how he hated the rain! And yet he loved it as well. Rain was, in a way, life. It wasn't alive, but it quenched thirst, it helped plants to grow, it nurtured life, and Maro wasn't exactly fond of that little fact. But then water was also the key means of stopping fire, though of course Maro had his fan of extinguishing handy at all times. But fire was the one thing Maro hated almost as much as life in general.
He was not really afraid of it, but too often it reminded him--painfully--not to be too careless around his explosions.
There was quite a fire raging not so far off. So he didn't mind the rain tonight. He lay back against a wall and opened his eyes. Before him stood a young woman, he supposed she might have been attractive by the standards of people who actually cared about such things, but to him she was just another bundle of life, and as a woman she was even worse, a perpetuator of life.
Some day--unless he killed her, as he was planning to do now--she might even bring a new life into existence! Disgusting creature!
Make that, "disgusting creature with a gun"
"The great thing about being richer than many small countries," The woman said, "is that I can track down people like you, and get off scott free when I kill them." A trio of men dressed in pink appeared, guns trained on Maro's head.
"You're an assassin?" Maro demanded. He stood up and displayed his two bronze rings, "I too am an assassin. Of the Nekekami guild, greatest of all guilds! I demand that you stand down this instant!"
"An assassin? But that makes sense! You're a hit man hired by one of my father's rivals! You couldn't kill me, so you attacked my love, believing that my sorrow would weaken me? Well your plan has failed assassin, and here you die!"
"What are you talking about?" Maro demanded, he killed lots of people, but he'd never been caught off guard by the mourners before!
"Silence hit man scum!" The woman hissed. "Before I end your miserable, pitiful existence, you will tell me--who sent you?"
Maro had the strangest urge to do something violent and unkind, but the young woman was still holding a gun on him, and her comrades weren't likely to let him get to her before they gunned him down.
Maybe this was why master Jun used guns, a quick draw would be useful right now. However, not for the first time in his life Maro seemed completely helpless. Though he didn't feel that way at all.
"The clock is ticking, and my finger might just twitch. Tell me now." The woman hissed.
"Who are you?" Maro demanded.
"You know that already, I'm sure." She chuckled darkly. "I am afraid my patience has reached it's end, I would have liked to know who sent you, but if I could track you down so easily, I can track them as well."
"How did you track me down?" Maro ventured.
The girl frowned. "Um . . . don't ask such unimportant questions! When you arrive in the after life, tell Hades that Yoshimi sent you!" She pulled the trigger, Maro dodged, the bullet grazed his left ear, but the damage was superficial.
His fan was in his hand before he'd even consciously thought to draw it, and he engulfed two of Yoshimi's accomplices in illusion, the third fired a shot that hit one of his comrades as Maro hit the dirt.
He rolled from the ground, coming up right next to an unimpressed Yoshimi who responded immediately with a fast kick towards his head.
Maro dodged, met the ground again, and Yoshimi fired a shot that blasted a hole in the floor near his head. He reached into a fold of his jacket and produced a throwing dagger. This really was more Han's fare, but he'd tried to become proficient with them. He hurled it at Yoshimi.
Like lightning she turned to the side, caught the knife with one hand and fired her gun with the other, Maro felt a sudden impact in his shoulder, as if someone had punched him with a fist made of brick.
He put his hand on the wound and felt blood. His blood.
Was he . . . losing?
No! He'd come too far to give up now! This stranger would not deny him his revenge, the revenge that he deserved, that he needed! Now here he was, almost a full-fledged assassin, and this strange woman had the nerve to just pop up and attack him?
Maro glared at her, leapt to his feet and took a swipe with his fan! She shot it out of his hand, amazingly it was undamaged, a testament to it's power, but not incredibly helpful right this moment. Yoshimi stood there, and examined her nails as if to say that Maro continued to exist at her leisure.
He'd show her that underestimating him was a mistake!
He'd blow her up!
Poison her!
Smash her head in with a rock!
Something!
He reached into his coat and revealed a grenade, "Catch!" he shouted!
He'd blow her up after all, gosh he loved explosions! Which was interesting since he was not a fan of the fires they left in their wake . . .
He glared at Yoshimi, the pain in his shoulder motivated him. Kill her! Kill her!
Even if he died too, he had to kill her!
Yes! He wasn't going to lose to her, he'd make her life end! And for some reason he felt as if doing so might actually be considered a good thing by others, he had the strangest feeling that if he killed this Yoshimi person, somewhere, someone, maybe even several someones would jump up and shout "FINALLY!"
. . .
. . .
But then she shot him before he could pull the pin . . . and everything went black.

To Be Continued . . .

Next Time . . . A little look at how Akane and the other girls spent their night in the motel room, find out what the explosions and fire trucks were all about, and see why Soun and Genma are back in the hospital with the two overly talkative nurses! Is Maro dead? How might Jun react to such an event? Might he track down and slaughter Yoshimi? Or is Maro alive, resulting in him slaughtering Yoshimi? What if Yoshimi just doesn't get slaughtered at all? Why is it that the fate of a pair of OCs that almost everyone hates makes up almost half the paragraph? Does GrimmZ even know what he's doing when he's writing these things? Does he? Huh? Huh! Does he? Huh!? (slap!) Oh! Sorry . . .
Anyway we may even try to get the tournament out of the way at last, and might even see what Kuno is up to. Shampoo and Lotion arrive in Nerima in time for the tournament, but they wont be competing . . . at first. As wacky combat ensues, find out what causes the amazons to get their hands dirty in chapter 11 - The Madness!