Disclaimer: I dont own Ranma 1/2, I dont own Kingdom Hearts (The Strike Raid, and Ars Acaram(sp?) attacks) I'll probably never own anything really important.
A/N: Knowing that I(maybe) still have fans with an interest, whohave suffered and waited long enough, this chapter has been posted now. I had wanted to take a little more time to show how Akane is progressing in the tournament, but that would have made it run too long, you'll have to wait until next chapter. P.S. I'm trying out a new format, if this appears as a disgusting blob of letters, do please let me know so I can fix it.
Charlotte's Sequel!
Chapter XII!
Throwing Down the Gauntlet!
Ryoga felt uneasiness overcome him as he slid down the long and winding tunnel that led, for all he knew, straight to the center of the earth. Oh what torment! Oh what pain! Oh what fear! Would this ride through his darkest nightmares ever end?
And suddenly it was over, he stood up and wondered, uncomfortably, when his testicles would descend again, they certainly didn't belong in his throat, and it felt like that was where they were after that nightmare drop.
He took some deep breaths, then set out, failing to read the sign in front of him.
It wasn't long before he came to his first fork in the road, he could turn left or right, he turned left and somehow ended up right back at the beginning of the maze. He headed for the fork again and met with the same results.
Ryoga was becoming frustrated, he couldn't fight an opponent if he couldn't find an opponent, and he had to win this tournament! Nabiki had made it painfully clear that she was expecting him to come in second, as if she didn't believe he could do better than that! And after their conversation that morning . . .
Ryoga scoffed, he wouldn't let this stupid little fork in the road beat him! He'd find his way out of here if it was the last thing he did and . . . which way had he come from again?
"A maze! Of all things it had to be a maze!" Nabiki scoffed.
"Um . . . Nabiki, you've been saying that over and over again for the past twenty minutes." Kasumi pointed out.
"Which is how long it's taken that numskull to make any progress!" Nabiki hissed at her older sister. "He's got to fight someone if he's going to win!"
"I don't care who wins," Kasumi frowned, "I just hope nobody gets hurt. Arent you more interested in Ryoga's safety, than your silly bet?"
"Not really." The younger Tendo sister shrugged. To say that Nabiki Tendo was not concerned for Ryoga's well being would have been wildly inaccurate. His safety and success meant money in her pocket, which resulted in a happier, kinder Nabiki, something that everyone could benefit from.
But Ryoga was tough, there was no reason to worry.
Okay, so Nabiki was a little worried, but only a little. She knew nothing could seriously injure Ryoga, but still she really hoped these insane maze building Koruda freaks didn't prove her wrong.
It must be worse for Kasumi, Nabiki realized, since she fancied Dr. Tofu! Tofu was not only the weakest link on the Tendo team, he was also apparently insane, Nabiki had never been completely certain because the good doctor had indeed been released from the hospital, and claimed that he'd been putting on an act . . . only he really did seem nuts.
"I'm sure they'll be fine." Nabiki told her sister, Kasumi smiled weakly, "Dr. Tofu is a martial arts master . . . um . . . right?" Nabiki realized she really didn't know.
She knew the good doctor knew something about martial arts, Nabiki just never bothered to find out which ones he'd mastered, or if he was a combat seasoned martial artist, or just a text book "hey I can do that!" martial artist. She just hadn't cared enough before.
"But everyone competing is a martial arts master, someone could get hurt, aren't you worried about Ryoga?" Kasumi fretted.
"My fear is minimal." Nabiki scoffed. "Of all the people here, he's the one who spends his leisure time getting hit by boulders and the only fighters we've seen capable of causing him real damage are on his team, he'll be fine. Besides, a few lumps on the head might do him some good." Nabiki shrugged, just because she was worrying didn't mean she should let Kasumi know it, after all if Ryoga was so much better than Tofu, and Kasumi knew it, if Nabiki worried about Ryoga, Kasumi might go insane worrying about Tofu!
She was trying to keep her sister calm, but the result was surprisingly different. "Well then you make your bets and worry more about your pockets than your fiancee, I'll worry enough about everyone for the both of us." Kasumi said in a cheerful but somehow guilt inducing tone.
Nabiki sighed and shook her head, just then Yoshimi appeared, "I must speak to you, it's urgent!" She said to Kasumi, and without waiting for Kasumi to answer, Yoshimi dragged her off to talk about . . . whatever.
Nabiki frowned, a lucky escape for Kasumi, because Nabiki had just realized that if Kasumi was worrying more than her about everyone except Ryoga, that was fine, but since she was worrying about everyone and Ryoga it must mean that she liked him and that was an offense punishable by death, or at least a few months of the cold shoulder.
Before Nabiki could decide whether or not her older sister, whom she deemed less attractive than herself but far more attractive than Akane and therefore a major threat, had an interest in her man, Kasumi's seat was taken by Kuno!
"What are you doing here?" Nabiki was surprised to say the least.
"Watching the tournament of course." Kuno said simply, running his fingers through his hair.
Why did he keep doing that? Nabiki mimicked him and tried it for herself, then decided it was probably just a weird habit, like how Ranma could never speak more than two sentences to Akane without insulting her.
"I must confess, I am pleased to see you here." Tatewaki said, "Perhaps you and I could talk about . . . certain issues?"
"Didn't know we had 'issues' to talk about." Nabiki sighed. "Okay, what's on your mind?"
"I was only wondering," Tatewaki said "if you'd given any thought to what I said to you before about college."
Nabiki frowned. "Well . . . maybe I'll think about college later."
"Why not now?" Kuno asked.
"Because it's too late to be accepted into a college I might actually like, I got a bunch of acceptance letters from nobody, loser colleges, I wouldn't want to go to those places."
"It's not too late, I've told you I know of just the place for you, and they're very willing to accept you."
"Without ever submitting an application?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow.
"Yes!" Kuno sounded pleased and excited. "That is, they want to meet with you, and decide based on that meeting whether or not to have you in their school. They don't usually accept new students so late, but . . . well, you see there's the small matter of a new building hinging on your acceptance."
Nabiki's jaw dropped as she took in Kuno's meaning. "How good is this place?"
"It is a school for the obscenely wealthy." Kuno shrugged. "Or so I've been told."
"Well . . . wouldn't I have to be wealthy to attend?" Nabiki asked.
"And you would be . . . if you would do me the honor of . . . I mean if you and I were to . . . um . . ."
"Pose as brother and sister!" Nabiki cried, as if she were guessing Kuno's plan, she slapped her fist into her palm, "Brilliant Kuno-baby, and that's something I don't often say to you without a heavy concentration of sarcasm!"
"Uh . . . yes, brother and sister." Kuno frowned, obviously he'd wanted to say something else, and Nabiki was fairly certain she knew what.
But she wasn't ready to deal with that!
Curse it all, college was the last thing she needed to be thinking about, she needed to be thinking about which of these boys she was going to be with!
Certainly she loved Ryoga, but even though he was the one she loved the cold hard fact was that he was poor, and having children with him would probably be asking for trouble since his lack of a sense of direction seemed hereditary.
On the other hand she didn't think she was really in love with Kuno . . . but her future with him would be financially secure to say the least! The children might not have much by way of brains if they took too heavily after their father, but at least there'd be a chance that they'd know where they were going while they were being stupid.
Ryoga was getting better and better in bed, Nabiki hadn't really tested Kuno yet . . .
Both were easy to manipulate and control, Nabiki wasn't really sure whom to pick.
She loved Ryoga . . . but what if she was falling in love with Kuno? What was love anyway? Why was she thinking about this anyway? Kuno hadn't said he wanted her to marry him, so she was just guessing . . . right?
Ryoga's instincts told him that danger lurked around every corner, that his very life depended on his skill and training.
Ryoga's mind told him that this was incredibly stupid, and he'd rather be above ground injur-er fighting people, than below ground stumbling around in a dank, dark maze.
He hadn't found a single soul! Was it too much to ask for to find just a single sign of human life? Was it? He pondered this and wondered if maybe he could try using the video cameras to somehow lead him to the fighting, when he stepped on something strange.
Looking down and seeing he'd just crushed the rib cage of a human skeleton did not scare Ryoga, but it was disturbing, and he jumped back purely out of surprise dragging much of the skeleton with him. He remained calm, and calmly began to jump up and down trying to kick the rib cage and what bones were attached to it, off of his foot.
Sympathy for the dead could come later. Right now he just needed to . . . why wasn't it coming off? Was it cursed? It was cursed! The skeleton was going to stick to him forever until he sacrificed five lambs and gave it a proper burial!
Ryoga's breathing increased, he began to become concerned. Not frightened of course, but concerned. "Get it off me! Get it off me! Oh my gosh I'm going to die and no one will ever find my body!"
"Calmmmmm dowwwwn!" A ghoulish voice moaned.
Now Ryoga was . . . startled. Nothing more, really. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, and, jumping on one leg to avoid further damage to the skeleton, turned to face the direction the ghoulish voice had come from.
It was just Dr. Tofu! "What are you doing?" Ryoga demanded. "And why are you talking like that?" He added, in regards to Tofu's ghostly moan.
"I am searching for an opponent, and in regards to your second question . . . I was just . . . well anyway . . ." The allegedly kind doctor trailed off. He knelt down to inspect the skeleton attached to Ryoga, and pulled it away from him. "I would like to find out who decorated this place." Tofu said.
"So they can do time for manslaughter?" Ryoga asked.
"Manslaughter? You mean this? It's a fake, I know real bones when I see them, you can tell this is a plastic replica built to scale by the way the rib cage is broken, notice the ribs--" Dr. Tofu was saying, but Ryoga cut him off.
"Yes, yes, I'll take your word for it." He was slightly relieved. "Ranma better not have beaten everyone!" The annoyed young martial artist grumbled.
"Oh I'm sure that isn't the case, we've only been down here for . . ." Dr. Tofu frowned and looked at his watch. "Well . . . anyway, I'm sure that's not the case." He said.
"Of course not!" A familiar voice cried, "For my companion and I are still here, ready and willing to destroy the two of you! I am Mousse, the master of concealed weapons, I am the greatest martial arts master you will ever meet, and sadly the last as well!" Mousse seemed to walk right out of the wall to Ryoga's left, and one of the Koruda girls leapt down from the ceiling to his right.
"And my name's Tomoko, I'm probably the hottest martial artist you'll meet, and I'd like to stay that way so please try not to hit me in the face, okay?" Ryoga shrugged, he'd try to remember that. "This guy is cute," Tomoko said, pointing at Mousse, "but he takes himself way too seriously, he's a little bit of a drama queen. Also he kept mentioning some sort of shampoo, it got really annoying, but I guess what I'm really trying' t'say here is that we don't need t'take this too far, I mean first one knocked on their back, right?" She looked at Dr. Tofu, "Uh . . . and if yer wonderin', I just broke up with my boyfriend, or he broke up with me . . . whichever. Are you single?" She asked.
"In a manner of speaking. I am married to my work, and there is someone I admire quite a bit." Dr. Tofu said, casually adjusting his glasses and urging a sigh from the girl. Tomoko was attractive, but apparently not Tofu's type. Ryoga could understand, after all, Yoshimi was really cute, she was just also really freakin' insane.
"This is no time for idle talk!" Mousse announced, bringing everyone's attention back to the here and now. "I will challenge you both, together or one at a time, I have to win so I can have my darling Shampoo!"
Ryoga was not really sure why Tomoko would call Mousse a drama queen, his challenge was very similar to something Ryoga might say, what was wrong with that? "You don't need to challenge us both! You wont get past me, and as for Shampoo . . . well I don't really think she'd be impressed whether you beat me or not." Ryoga said honestly.
"This . . . is true--er I mean that is utter nonsense! I will destroy you, and the good doctor, with apologies to you both, my friends!" Mousse announced, raising his hands to a fighting position, his long red sleeves receded, revealing black gloved hands and a pair of punching daggers .
Actually the Koruda Ranger suit didn't look half bad on Mousse, but Ryoga had a strange feeling that what really made the suits look stupid were the inflated breasts on the ladies.
"So you're a doctor?" Tomoko asked Tofu, who nodded, "That means you're rich, right?" She asked.
"Well . . . not really." Tofu admitted.
"But aren't doctors supposed to be rich?" Tomoko asked.
"Oh my!" Tofu laughed, "What a funny joke! A rich doctor? Utter fiction."
"Uh . . . right." Tomoko nodded. "Tell you what, we'll let them fight and we'll go over here and fight . . . where it's safe. As a doctor, surely you understand the importance of not injuring your patients." The girl said uneasily.
How could such a coward call herself a martial artist? Did this girl have any redeeming quality that Ryoga didn't see? Perhaps this was a trap, perhaps she was more a ninja than a martial arts mistress, perhaps she would lure the good doctor into a false sense of security and ambush him with a powerful attack!
"The safety of my patients is very important to me. I do not believe you are one of them, but all the same I understand what you're saying. It would be a pleasure to combat such a polite young lady." Tofu nodded, Tomoko looked relieved until Tofu pulled the cord on his chainsaw.
His eyes seemed to change in intensity, a wicked grin came to his face and he nodded as if someone had said something very interesting. "Yes indeed." The doctor grinned. "And we can show her our new special attack . . ." He said, presumably to himself.
"Um . . ." Tomoko looked pretty nervous. Ryoga didn't blame her, he didn't know Dr. Tofu as well as he might like, but were their positions reversed, Ryoga himself might be just a little afraid of Tofu.
Tofu raised the chainsaw as if he meant to attack, and Tomoko bolted down the passageway. "Don't run! Don't run! Stay and witness our new super powerful attack!" Tofu cried.
Ryoga and Mousse stared at each other for a moment . . . they heard Tofu shout "Tofu Strike!" and Tomoko scream "Are ya insane?" both young men shook their heads.
Ryoga felt strangely removed from the whole thing. He didn't know Tofu well enough to hope for his success or failure, and didn't respect the cowardly Tomoko enough to hope that she managed to survive her battle with Tofu, pretty face intact.
He just nodded to Mousse. "Shall we?" He asked.
"Indeed, lets! Through defeating you I will grow powerful enough to defeat Ranma Saotome, and when I have, Shampoo will be mine!" Mousse said, again taking up a fighting stance.
Ryoga adopted one of his own, he noticed the cameras came to life, focusing on the two of them. And the battle began!
Tomoko was young, she had her whole life ahead of her, martial arts was just something she'd done to get a cute guy's attention, but in the end it became a hobby and now look where it'd gotten her!
"Look, there ain't nothin' "martial" about swinging a chainsaw at a girl!" Tomoko screamed.
The insane doctor didn't seem to hear her. She noticed also that his eyes seemed to have rolled back into his head, giving him a demonic appearance, what a nightmare!
It was time to stand and fight! She was a martial artist, not a silly girl who was terribly afraid of chainsaws . . . oh wait, she was a silly girl who was terribly afraid of chainsaws! Okay, so she was both! But she'd face her fear and face this insane doctor and defeat him! She'd make Anzu so jealous, and win the tournament while she was at it!
Yeah! That's the spirit! She turned and stood firm, taking up a fighting stance. "I'm through runnin' away! Yer goin' down now psycho!"
"I'm pleased to see you've stopped trying to escape." The mad doctor said in a disgustingly friendly voice. "Now face my Tofu Strike!"
"Bring it!" Tomoko scoffed, preparing to be assaulted in a manner that would somehow involve a health food product.
"While watching some children play the game Kingdom Tarts--a story about a boy who sets out to be the world's greatest baker, and must defeat the 'heartless' fried food companies with the power of his awesome Spatula Blade--I beheld a marvelous attack, and I simply must use it on you." The doctor said as he ripped the cord for his chainsaw.
Gosh that was scary. "Look, that was juts a video game!" Tomoko said, her bravery beginning to waver . . . no! She wouldn't let it! She'd face her fear, and she'd win!
"The Strike attack was fantastic," Tofu said as he ripped the cord again, "You throw your Spatula Blade and it returns, like a boomerang."
Tomoko gulped. She had a feeling she knew where this was going, and she hoped she was wrong.
"After much training, Betty and I have perfected this technique, calling it the Tofu Strike! You're it's first victim, be honored!" The mad man screamed as he hurled his also screaming chainsaw at Tomoko.
"WHY ME!" Tomoko screamed as she hit the dirt! The chainsaw buzzed overhead and she came up, fists ready to pound some sense into this manic doctor! She wasn't scared, she was mad! "You crazy son of a--" She turned and saw it actually coming back! "Why? Why! Why?" She screamed as she hit the dirt again, back to being scared, she stood up and was on the verge of wetting herself. "Are ya insane or just a jerk? Why? Why! Why?"
"Tofu Vortex!" Tofu screamed, lunging forward, chainsaw screaming! Tomoko didn't have time to get out of the way! She was going to die because of some moron who couldn't tell the difference between video games and real life!
The chainsaw came in, arcing towards her chest, she kept her eyes open, ready to die like a real warrior.
PLEW!
There was a loud pop, and Tomoko flew back ten feet, Tofu flew back twenty, his chainsaw knocked out of his hands!
"I'm alive?" Tomoko raised her eyebrows. "I'm alive!" She looked down at the cut in her uniform, the giant breasts had apparently blew out upon contacting the chainsaw, knocking both her and her opponent back and as a bonus they'd deflated so they didn't make her look as stupid!
"Now that's what I call a 'booby trap' ya freakin' psycho!" She shouted at the doctor, who's eyes had rolled back into a proper position. "For once your comic book addiction has come in handy, I love ya boss!" Tomoko extorted! "Er . . . like a friend that is." She decided. "The sort'a friend you only want t'see once a year." She added.
"I am surprised by the power of your suit . . . but I am not defeated!" Tofu cried.
Mousse lunged in, his punching dagger, the actual martial artsy name of which escapes me at the moment, seeking Ryoga's throat.
Ryoga reached out and grabbed Mousse's wrist and slammed him into the wall.
Mousse however was too well dressed for such a simplistic end, instead he puffed out his chest, hit the wall and bounced back into Ryoga like a rubber ball. "Fashionable, practical, and useful!" Mousse cried, Ryoga didn't see how even nearsighted Mousse could make such a claim about the super loser suit.
Now Mousse knocked Ryoga into the wall! Ryoga's arms shot out and grabbed Mousse in a head lock, the Chinese martial artist responded by materializing a . . .
A training potty?
It looked like a clown with his mouth wide open, the sort of thing that would not only scare a child and cause them to think that clowns wish to eat them rear end first, but also might make a child believe that should they meet a clown in real life, they should feed him fecal matter.
"Wrong item?" Ryoga sneered, until the stupid clown exploded in a puff of white smoke. "I hate clowns!" He cried.
"Now Hibiki, face my ultimate weapon!" In the smog Ryoga couldn't see it, but he had a feeling it looked stupid too. "I was saving it for Saotome, but you'll be an acceptable test subject! Hyah!" Mousse cried as he threw this item at Ryoga.
Ryoga saw it's form coming at him, he lunged forward and kicked it back at Mousse, it burst and Ryoga could now see it was gourd!
Of cold water!
The room was shrinking . . . well technically it was a hallway, so the hallway was shrinking.
Ryoga was a little black piglet! He was huggably cute and squeezably huggable, excellent with rice and poi, and of course: adorable!
But Mousse was affected too, when Ryoga had kicked the gourd he sent it spinning right into his's opponent's face, and what was left of the water inside transformed Mousse into a duck!
Ryoga considered the fact that this was all being filmed, his weakness revealed for all to see! The shame! The humiliation, people would call him a freak and ridicule him, he'd never be able to show his face in Nerima again!
But first he'd make Mousse pay for this whole fiasco! What sort of fool was he bringing a gourd of cold water? The fool! Not to mention the fact that Mousse, obviously, was a fool!
And so a little piglet lunged for a duck with glasses, teeth ready to chomp down!
Ushio and Soun were sitting in the control booth deciding which fights the crowd would watch from which screen, however when the smoke settled after Mousse's attack on Ryoga, there was just a pig, a duck and two piles of cloths. "I don't believe this!" Ushio cried, "The middle of the tournament and they decided to skip out and go streaking? I don't even want to speak the other possibility that comes to mind when I see two piles of cloths and don't see the two boys that were wearing them!"
"Well the pig and the duck seem to be fighting rather energetically. Not like these other screens." Soun said. Some of the other screens were completely blank, as if someone had interfered with them, Ushio would just have to fire whomever installed them.
"We still have no idea where Ranma and Anzu are . . . they're probably fighting up a tornado right now and the cameras are missing it!" Ushio whined. "We cant show them the pig and the duck because they aren't saying anything cool while they fight!"
"Well . . . they could be!" Soun said.
Nabiki was in a foul mood as it was, she was considering her future and was not completely content with the options before her, she knew she needed to control and manipulate her current situation but she wasn't sure how to do it yet!
Still she shuddered when she saw the screen come to life with the image of P-Chan and Mousse-Duck rolling around in violent mortal combat. She nearly vomited when she heard her father and Ushio Kuroda's voices over the loud speakers, dubbing the fight.
Mousse the duck was represented by Ushio, "QWACK! Before this day we have been barn yard friends, but today that changes, I shall defeat you, pig! WACK! I shall have you cooked with onions or cabbage depending on my mood, and served with poi and rice and pineapple! WACH!"
Of course this meant Nabiki's father was the voice of P-Chan! "GRNT! I will destroy you and everything you hold dear in this life! ERNK! I will rip your wish bone out and make you swallow it, I will can you like spam and use your blood to paint my future father in law's house a charming shade of red, and when that's through I'll revive you and do it all over again! BUKEE!"
"Oh please somebody kill me!" Nabiki moaned.
Kuno gasped, "Say not such things, Nabiki Tendo, if you were to die I would . . . uh . . . well I certainly would be affected . . . I think."
"You think? That's it? You just think?" Nabiki demanded.
Tatewaki's response was swallowed up by the crowd, who apparently loved this pig on duck combat! "WACK! Tell me Mr. Pig, can you smell what The Duck is cooking?" Ushio demanded in a ducky voice.
"ERNK! Sure can, and let me help you by opening a can of WHOOP ASS!" Soun cried.
"WACK! Have at thee, I bite your tail!"
"GRNT! Yo' mama!"
"QUACK! Not the eyes!"
"KEEE! Time for the pig to bring the pain!"
"The crowd really loves it, but isn't this cruelty to animals?" Nabiki sighed.
"Be that as it may, I have always wanted to know which was a more worthy adversary, the pig or the duck! From my childhood days on my uncle's farm I have been plagued by memories of being chased by both, and the time has now come to observe my enemies and study my enemies and--wait, is that not your pig, dear Nabiki Tendo?" Kuno asked.
"I have never seen that pig before in my life." Nabiki lied. Then she sighed, "Okay, well I guess I'd better go get him . . ." She said, sighing and heading for the control booth where her father and his enemy had gone into a sort of rhythmic musical grunting and quacking, it seemed uncle Genma had also joined in and was doing a little of both.
A symphony of kids trapped in grown up bodies and forced to throw away their dreams to raise the families they'd conceived in the back seat of a car with their high school sweet hearts. Or something like that, Nabiki just kept telling herself it wasn't her life, it wasn't her problem, it was just a terrible dream, no one would recognize the voices, no one from any humane concern or association would show up at just that moment and arrest everyone in the building.
Tatewaki Kuno cursed under his breath. Something was very wrong when he couldn't declare his love for a woman! What was the hold up? He could tell he'd upset her, he just wasn't sure how! What had he done? Was it his pressuring her to choose?
"Dance with me." Yoshimi commanded, appearing before him.
Tatewaki raised an eyebrow at her. "Dance with you? To what?" He asked.
"The melodious barnyard noises." Yoshimi said, batting her eye lashes at him.
Somewhat reluctantly, Tatewaki agreed. He was a romantic at heart after all, though he really found the so called "melodious barnyard noises" quite annoying and not at all good dance material.
"Have you convinced Nabiki Tendo to give up my Ryoga yet?" Yoshimi asked.
"Not yet. I believe I am close . . ." Tatewaki trailed off. What would he tell her? How would he tell her once he found out what it was he'd tell her? Before he always knew just what to say to the pigtailed girl or Akane Tendo to make them turn into loving puddles of jelly, but with Nabiki Tendo . . .
He was at a loss.
Yoshimi seemed to read this in his eyes, she patted his shoulder and said, "You understand the plan, do you not? It is imperative that you carry it through . . . once you and Nabiki are attending a far away college you will have her all to yourself, and I will have Ryoga."
"Is Kinnosuke not coming to the college as well?" Kuno asked.
"He is, as a back up." Yoshimi nodded.
"Back up?" Tatewaki raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"
"Nothing. You know Tatewaki . . . if you are not willing to carry through with this plan, if your heart does not yearn for Nabiki Tendo . . . now is your last chance to pull out. This is your last chance to walk away."
Tatewaki raised an eyebrow at this. A chance? He knew this plan was important to Yoshimi, but he felt he should be able to walk away from it whenever he felt, he should not have a set limit of chances. The girl was quite presumptuous!
Or . . . was she?
Odd, how she had said 'pull out', was she implying that tonight he might bed Nabiki Tendo? If such should occur then indeed he would not be able to simply walk away from the relationship after tonight.
Yes, of course! For a moment he almost thought Yoshimi didn't have his best interest at heart, but now he knew he was mistaken. "I shall pursue Nabiki Tendo." He said. "You will have your love in your arms soon, and I shall have . . . mine." He said, suffering from a mix of declaration and realization.
"Yes." Yoshimi said darkly though Kuno was too busy contemplating what sex with Nabiki would be like to actually notice. "Soon I'll be the only one he could possibly love."
Tatewaki took a step back from Yoshimi and their dance--which was not enjoyable to begin with--and turned towards Nabiki Tendo's direction. She was gone! Where had she . . .
"Do not pursue her too closely young master Kuno," Yoshimi said, despite the fact that Kuno was older than she was, "you might get . . . hurt." Yoshimi giggled and left, melting into the crowd.
Tatewaki scratched his head, and began searching for Nabiki. He still wasn't sure if he wanted her more than her sister and the pigtailed girl (And Azusa, and Mariko, and that girl who baked him cookies when he was ten) but for now Nabiki was the only one who had not moved to France, was not competing in the tournament, did not seem to have the brain of a twelve year old, was not stalking him and sending him locks of her hair in the mail, and was not now running a bakery in Africa, so he'd go with her.
No . . . no it wasn't that, the others could be arranged in front of him in sexy lingerie, he still just couldn't get Nabiki off of his mind.
Jun leapt back, Saotome was much more powerful than he had appeared before. But still, he was nothing special.
This was no god of death, this was just a boy with impressive martial skill. Had he been found and recruited some years earlier he might have been a fine addition to the Nekekami, but he was too old now and too set in his "righteous" ways, he would only prove to be a threat in the future.
Better to simply kill him now.
Jun had long since given up trying to recognize Ranma's routines and therefore anticipate his moves, the boy had mixed far too many styles that Jun had never before seen. It might have been nice to learn some of Saotome's skills, unfortunately that simply wasn't possible.
Dead men told no tales.
Jun had never lost a martial arts competition, and he had never cheated to win, it had always been a victory hard bought through his own skill. But unlike other martial artists he was not infected by the disease known as "pride". Pride had no place in the life of a Nekekami, like most other emotions it was unnecessary, and so the idea of calling this one a loss and simply shooting Ranma did not bother Jun in the least. Yes, he would know that he had failed to overcome a mere boy, and could never honestly say that he had never been defeated in martial arts, but unlike Saotome he could live with that.
He reached into his jacket as if he were reaching for a gun, drawing Saotome's attention to his hand and away from his foot.
He struck the back of his boot against the stone floor in a feigned stumble, which caused the blade to emerge. As Ranma came closer to Jun, Jun launched a kick meant to bury that blade in Saotome's jaw, however something large and rectangular struck Ranma in the chest instead, knocking him back.
"You cant do this! I just cant let you!" Anzu shouted from behind Jun. "What kind of person would I be if I just let you do something like this?"
"The kind that still breaths!" Jun scowled, death god knew how the girl had snuck up on him like this! Had he been so involved with this battle? Could that possibly be the reason? He leaned his back against the wall of the narrow corridor the three of them now stood in. In this confined space there was no defeating two opponents at once, especially when one of them is better than you to begin with.
"Mr. Big Shot eh?" Saotome scoffed. "So what's the deal? You with Koruda or not?"
"Obviously not!" Anzu snapped. "Haven't you figured it out? He's trying to kill you, I led you into a trap and was going to just leave you to die before I had a conscience attack!"
"I was doing just fine." Ranma pointed out. "I told'ja, I ain't interested in another fiancee."
"If you think romance is the only reason someone might try to prevent a murder then remind me never to hire you as a body guard!" Anzu snapped.
"She has a point you know," Jun said, "It doesn't always have to be about sex." Conversing was such a lovely way to buy time. Jun had a plan, but for it to succeed he needed Anzu off her guard.
"I know that!" Ranma cried. "I was just . . . I mean it ain't like I don't know that!"
"Well then why do you keep bringing it up? You must have a crush on me or something. Is that it?" Anzu teased.
"Crush on a girl with such unappealing measurements?" Ranma snapped. "Add cold water and I could score more guys than you'll ever even talk to!"
"Unappealing?" Anzu gasped, looking down at her body.
Jun almost died right then! He suffered a severe gratitude attack, he was grateful to Ranma Saotome for being stupid enough to give him this fine opportunity!
Anzu's gaze was on her figure, not on Jun. He lunged for her like lightning, drew a knife from his coat and stabbed it into her stomach as he shoved past her.
"N-no!" She gasped, sounding more shocked than hurt, but it was the last thing she'd ever say, and master assassin Jun set off down the halls of the maze, seeking his exit.
Ranma's jaw dropped when Jun suddenly shoved past Anzu and bolted! A part of him wanted to chase after the man and bring him to justice, but the greater part of Ranma Saotome knew that seeing if Anzu was all right was more important.
Of course he felt no love for her, it seemed so silly to have argued about it before, but it was true that helping others didn't always have to be driven by romance. What kind of monster would care about an injured human being purely for the sake of sex?
Kodachi came to mind, and not being like her was more than enough motivation for Ranma to check on Anzu's condition.
"You okay?" He asked as he knelt over her. A stupid question, home girl was gonna die!
"I love my dad!" She sobbed with both her hands clutching her knife wound.
"Yeah . . . I'll tell him you said that." Ranma nodded and took hold of her hand. "You . . . did good." What more could he say? She'd walked him into a trap then died trying to get him out of it . . . what do you tell such a confusing person?
"Um . . . why are you . . . holding my hand?" Anzu asked.
"Everything's okay. Go into the light." Ranma said soothingly. "Go . . . be at peace."
"The light?" She frowned.
"Oh . . ." Ranma frowned too. He'd just sort of assumed that having died for a good cause she'd go to heaven. "Well then fear no darkness . . ." He said, again trying to be soothing. "I'll never forget you . . ."
"You're making me . . . kind of uncomfortable." Anzu admitted.
"I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I said you were unappealing, you're really very pretty." Ranma said. "I mean, if I weren't spoken for by a chorus, I probably would'a asked you out." It couldn't hurt to pretend, she was dying so it wasn't like her feelings were going to get hurt when she found out he and Akane were getting married soon.
"Oh, so that's what this is about!" Anzu seemed relieved, "I thought you were just crazy! Look, I'm not really into dating other martial artists, okay?"
"Eh?" Ranma raised an eyebrow at her.
She shoved him away and got to her feet, she didn't seem on the brink of death. Ranma looked and dint see any knife wound in her stomach.
"Thank goodness the knife didn't get through the suit." Anzu said, "Have my father's eccentric behavior to thank for that. It's times like these that I'm reminded of why I don't hate him."
"Oh!" Ranma said, understanding now. "So ya wont die . . . okay." He cracked his knuckles. "Y'know I let that guy get away 'cause I thought ya needed help."
"Pshaw!" Anzu scoffed, "I told you I know this maze, we'll catch him at the exit, I know where he's headed."
"All right!" Ranma grinned, "Oh, and for th'record, I ain't interested in dating you!"
"I know, I know." Anzu grinned, "Good thing too, 'cause I'm outta your league anyway."
"Oh yeah? Well how many boyfriends do you got? 'Cause I tell you, I'm so out of your league you'd have to sign a waiting list just to be seen with me in public! I've got three psycho fiancees, a psychotic "secret" admirer, and just last spring I found out I had a huge fan club full of horny teenage girls with no sense of reality!"
Anzu stared at him for a moment. Then she frowned at him and shook her head, "That's . . . not impressive! That's . . . that's just terrible! That's disgusting! What's your problem? Is one wife not enough for you? Do you have to put that disgusting thing of yours in every woman you meet? Ever hear of these ten little guidelines called The Commandments?"
Ranma frowned, he was pretty sure he'd seen an old movie by that name . . . but he'd gotten bored because it didn't involve martial arts . . . meh. Whatever.
Lo-Chun's heart was pounding in her chest, it was becoming hard to breathe.
She was a Nekekami assassin, a hunter killer trained specifically to hunt down and eliminate assassins from other guilds, and trained by the best. She could do this!
She could defeat the man who'd taught her everything she knew, kill the man who'd been like a father to her, she could save her new family from her old one. She'd hoped she might survive fighting Maro, and had struggled to remember her plan--even making up a song to help, she never forgot her favorite songs--but could she defeat Jun as well?
She'd have to make up a new verse . . .. but how to begin it? She had no idea how to even begin to fight Jun.
She stopped suddenly and fell to her knees, Shampoo kept going for a moment, then seemed to realize Lotion wasn't with her any more and turned back.
"What you doing?" Shampoo demanded.
Lotion laughed weakly, her heart was beating even faster, she was gasping for air, her hands were shaking and she prayed it was just exhaustion.
She knew better.
"I'm going to die." She whispered. It wasn't a question she knew it, she could feel it in her bones, her end had arrived!
"You scared?" Shampoo scoffed, disgusted.
Lotion felt a spasm run through her body. "I wish . . ." She whispered, "I wish it were that simple. If I were scared I could hide and be safe. But . . ." She closed her eyes. She was not afraid . . ."The glass. The glass would still be there, and stronger than ever. It'd be harder because I came so close this time, I can almost trick myself into thinking some of the people I've met here might actually care." She realized with a small amount of disgust, she was eager to fight!
"What you talking?" Shampoo scowled.
Lotion drew a dagger, stood up and looked at the window to the fast food joint. There were people inside, but she didn't see them. It was not that she couldn't see them, rather she chose not to. She saw only her faint reflection. She glared at it, and said, "If the grass is greener on your side, if those you love and cherish feel the same about you, then at least one of us has led a good life!"
Shampoo put her hand on Lotion's shoulder, "People staring!" She hissed.
"I'll kill you!" Lotion screamed at her reflection, pointing an accusing finger at her faint mirror image, the people sitting at the table in front of the window jumped back out of their seats. "I don't need you! You skinny little, flat chested, loud mouthed fool! And stop mimicking me!" Lotion screamed, jumping up and down with rage, "Doubt? I cant afford it, people are depending on me, only I can do this! Jealousy? A useless waste of energy! Fear?" She laughed loudly, a baby in a high chair clapped and laughed along, gosh babies are so eager to laugh.
"Forget fear!" Lotion screamed, a few people gasped at the rude Chinese girl who seemed to be screaming at some people trying to enjoy a family meal. "I'm breaking the glass, Ranma and Ryoga need me, they need me because I can do one thing they cant, I can't use martial arts so well, but I can take a life and not look back, I can end a story and not care about it's unwritten pages, they cant and that's why I'm necessary!"
"Ma'am, you're creating a public disturbance, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me." The police officer said.
"Curse you all, stop trying to ruin my dramatic moment!" Lotion cried, she grabbed Shampoo and they ran off, the police officer may have fired a shot, but Lotion wasn't paying attention, she was wondering if maybe she should have gotten something to eat back at that restrant, one hates to die on an empty stomach and those baked potatoes smelled good . . . but Lotion didn't care for baked potatoes anyway so she kept on running.
Kodachi sat down and took a sip of the cup of tea in front of her. She closed her eyes for a moment, relishing the taste . . . and decided it was a bad idea to do so.
She spat it out--what a classy young lady she was!--and threw the cup at Sasuke! "This is terrible! Absolutely terrible! It tastes like . . . well I will let you know once I think of something vile and disgusting enough to describe this!"
"I'm sorry ma'am." Sasuke said. "But . . . I needed a place to put the gold fish while I cleaned the tank and the tea cup was all there was . . ."
Kodachi's eyes widened. "The gold fish?" She cried, and looked at the tea-cup spill! "Where is the fish?" She demanded.
"It uh . . . wasn't in the cup when you threw it at my face, Mistress Kuno." Sasuke said.
Kodachi stared at him for a moment, then grabbed her own throat, "How dare you?" She screamed!
"I-I'm sorry ma'am!" Sasuke cried.
Kodachi cooled instantly. "So . . . where is my dear yet simple minded brother?"
"He is out, participating in lady Harume's dastardly plot to seize the affections of Nabiki Tendo." Sasuke reported.
Kodachi chuckled. "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, poor simple brother." Kodachi leaned back in her chair. She tapped her chin. "I do believe I will give him . . . a helping hand." She decided.
Maro sprang out, and threw his arm out, grabbing Hibiki's fiancee in a headlock and lightly waving his fan of illusions into her face, he didn't need to make a scene, didn't want to drop fifty people. Just this girl.
"Let me guess, you're the legendary super hero, Geisha Man." Nabiki sighed. "Get off me you freak!" She snapped, seemingly immune to the illusion. Maro cursed, obviously this girl was smarter than Hibiki.
But it didn't matter, he had more tricks up his sleeve, he pulled a grenade from his coat, tore the pin out of it and handed it to her.
"If you drop that, it'll go off." He warned her.
She casually tossed it to the floor in front of them. Maro stared at her for a moment, what the heck was her problem?
"If it were real you'd have thrown me onto it and run off." Nabiki explained, "It's a fake."
"Fine, so you're smarter than your boyfriend," Maro scowled, "but I will not be denied!"
"Look pal, a slug is smarter than Kuno-baby, and maybe it'd be easier for you not to be denied if you just came out and said what it is that you want, rather than waving some fan in my face."
Maro took a moment to consider what she'd said . . . "All right, then here's how it works, you're going to come with me, and I am going to use you as bait to lure your lover into a trap and kill him, I am however willing to allow you to live if you cooperate."
Nabiki scoffed. "What do you need to lure him out for? He's right there and he'll challenge anyone!" She pointed towards some guy whose outfit was even dumber than Maro's, he held a wooden sword and kept running his fingers through his hair.
Maro blinked. "Are you Nabiki Tendo?" He demanded.
"One and only." Nabiki sighed.
"Are you not engaged to Ryoga Hibiki?" Maro demanded.
"Oh him?" Nabiki laughed, "No, see we broke up this morning."
Maro frowned. "You did what? Why? How did this happen? If your love cannot survive long enough for me to use you in a hostage situation, then what love can? How in the world am I to kill Ryoga Hibiki and be inducted into the order of the Nekekami assassins? Huh? Huh! Tell me! Tell mmmeeee!" Maro ranted, still holding Nabiki.
"Well . . ." Nabiki sighed.
Earlier that morning . . .
"Ryoga," Nabiki said, "as you know I wanted to talk to you about something very important . . ."
"Right." Ryoga nodded, he seemed unusually interested in a cobweb on the window.
"Ryoga, darling . . . I've made a decision." Nabiki said. "I'm getting breast implants."
Ryoga forgot the cobweb in an instant, "What's that? Your going to invest in plants? Great idea, the stock market is booming and plant shares are going up, up, up!"
"You know what I said." Nabiki said coolly.
Ryoga laughed, "Of course I did, you want to invest, great idea I said, great idea!"
Nabiki sighed, and pointed to her breast, "These," she explained, "will be bigger."
"I don't think so, you're eighteen, you must've stopped growing by now." Ryoga observed.
"Ryoga!" Nabiki yelled frustrated that he'd act like such an idiot! "I need bigger breasts, that's that, end of story, I thought you should know, because you're paying for it!"
"I'm what now?" Ryoga choked.
"Get a job, rob a bank, marry a billionaire's daughterand murder her, I don't care how, just get the money!" Nabiki cried.
Ryoga frowned. "Nabiki . . . you don't need breast implants." He said, finally ready, it seemed to grow up and join this grown up conversation, so Nabiki's temper cooled a bit. "Now investing in plants, now that's what you need to be doing!" Ryoga cried suddenly, back to denial, and Nabiki was back to being really pissed off.
She shook her head from side to side rapidly, "I need them, never mind why!"
"Why?" Ryoga snapped suddenly, "What is it that you need these for? No college in the world makes breast implantation a required course! Or is this extra curricular?"
"Y'know as my fiancee you stand to benefit the most from this!" Nabiki scowled.
"They're fine, you're fine, who the heck told you they had to be bigger?" Ryoga demanded.
Nabiki scowled at him, how dare he choose now to develop a backbone! "I lost my job to Nodoka because these stupid things are too small!"
"Too small?" Ryoga demanded, "Job lost to Nodoka? What job was this?"
"None of your business." Nabiki hissed.
Ryoga sighed. "It requires breast implants, meaning there will be a lot of emphasis on your bust size, and you lost it to Nodoka, who has displayed no skill whatsoever aside from being a terribly dangerous person, an obsession with Ranma's manliness, and the fact that she's a freakin' who--" Ryoga didn't even finish the last word, but Nabiki could guess what it would have been. She could also see by the expression on her lover's face that he'd just drawn a conclusion and it was probably the right one.
"I . . . uh . . . I wont do it." Ryoga said firmly, "I wont pay for you to mutilate yourself. I think you're beautiful enough as it is, but I guess I'm not the one you're trying to impress anymore, am I?" He turned away, "How did you think I'd react to this?"
"To what?" Nabiki scowled, "You're making blind assumptions, aren't you?"
Ryoga glared at her, "So tell me I'm wrong."
"You're uh . . . well tell me what you're assuming, then I'll tell you if you're wrong." Nabiki hesitated.
"Just tell me I'm wrong." Ryoga said, almost pleading.
Nabiki exploded, how dare he assume that just because they were going to be married he had any say in her life? "Fine!" She screamed, "I wanted to be a porn star? Happy? Gosh it's not such a big deal y'know?"
"I guess not." Ryoga shrugged. "You're always right, aren't you?" He clenched his fists by his side, "I guess I'm too stupid to see the bigger picture here, but it seems to me like you're planning to make a quick buck by showing off your body and having sex with other guys, all while expecting me to say 'great idea, thumbs up' or something like that? Gosh I must be really stupid to think that sounds like a really bad idea."
"Must be." Nabiki nodded. Then, not so wisely she scoffed, "Just forget it, I should have known better than to come to you anyway. As if you could ever support me financially, you who has no job and wouldn't have the sense of direction necessary to get to work every day even if you did! I bet I can get Kuno-baby to pay for them."
Nabiki wasn't sure if she's said that to hurt Ryoga, or if she'd said it to change his mind through reverse psychology, the look on his face suggested she'd done the former. "So get him to pay for it. While you're at it, you might as well marry him so he can pay for all the other surgeries you'll be wanting, you know your lips could be fuller."
"I don't want to marry him." Nabiki snapped, "I'm supposed to be marrying you!"
"Yeah? Well I wont hold you to that obligation."
"Obligation? I--"
"Should shut up." Ryoga scowled, "I cant stand the sound of your voice right now! I cant stand the sound of my own voice right now! I cant believe I thought you, emotionless, money loving Nabiki could ever see me as more than just an instrument, a tool, I guess I really am as stupid as Ranma says!"
"Ranma's a jerk, you're not stupid!" Nabiki snapped.
"That's right." Ryoga nodded, "A stupid person would still be in love with you."
"Idiot!" Maro scoffed.
"Isn't he though?" Nabiki scowled, angry at the renewed memory, even if certain details had been modified for effect, in retrospect Nabiki realized that the events hadn't been too far off from what she'd detailed.
"Not him! You! If they were any bigger you'd look ridiculous! Now you've ruined your chance at having Ryoga for a husband and my chances at using you as a hostage!" Maro raged, people were staring now and Kuno was fast approaching.
Maro was fuming, this girl had let vanity ruin his chances to kill Lo-Chun! "No!" He snapped, "It's not lost, I can still win . . ." He grinned, "I wonder, if perhaps Ryoga still has feelings for you."
"He doesn't!" Nabiki protested, "I told you he--"
"Perhaps, but I guess you'll just have to pray to your false deity that that is not the case." Maro sneered, then he turned his fan to the entire crowd and dropped them all, then like lightning he put it away and drew a knife, which he pressed against Nabiki's throat. He saw one person standing alone in the crowd, one person whose mind had not been affected by the illusions he'd produced.
He couldn't know that that was only because Kasumi's life was hell enough, illusions of torment were simply too good to be true and so she'd dismissed them.
Maro pressed his knife closer to Nabiki's throat, "Tell Ryoga to meet me at the Furinkan high school's gymnasium, he has until dawn!"
Kasumi frowned at him. "I uh . . . I want to . . . but . . ."
Maro's eyes went wild, he released Nabiki and rushed over to Kasumi, "But what?" He demanded, and started waving his hands in the air as he began to rant, "You don't care about your sister's safety then? Oh well you're just like all of them aren't you? Leaving her to die in my clutches, no doubt so you can start breeding with her husband, oh yes you people are all driven by your carnal desires, you--"
"I want to tell Ryoga to meet you," Kasumi explained, "but . . . well who are you?"
Maro grinned and closed his eyes, "Why me? I am . . . the great assassin Maro of the Nekekami order of Japan, fear us not for we are the powerful support beams that ensures the dominance of the Japanese people!"
"You're holding my sister hostage." Kasumi pointed out.
"Well she can fear us!" Maro granted, "But so long as you do your part to make Japan a better place, and clean up litter, you've not a thing to fear!"
Kasumi clapped at his performance, and Maro felt annoyed, he was being serious! He stood up and glared at her, "Do we understand each other?" He demanded.
"Certainly, I will tell Ryoga-kun to meet you at the Furinkan high school gym before dawn . . . but . . ." The beautiful but apparently dim witted young woman trailed off.
"But what?" Maro roared.
"In all your blustering, and super hero poses, it would seem my sister escaped." Kasumi said innocently.
Maro's eyes shot wide open and he looked back to Nabiki who was indeed gone! He hopped around in all directions, rather than simply turning, and kept twisting his head to see where she might have gone! He turned to her older sister who had also begun to back away and recognized her deception for what it had been!
Still, she was the only one he could trust for some reason, he wasn't sure how he'd reached that conclusion but it was the one he'd reached. "Which way did she go? Which way did she go?" He demanded.
"She went that'a way!" Kasumi said, pointing towards the girl's bathroom, and Maro charged in to find that surprisingly Nabiki was not there . . .
Or was she?
He searched the bottoms of the stalls, but saw no legs, he growled impatiently and stormed out, but now Kasumi was gone too.
"Clever," he said, "Quite clever, oh Tendo sisters, but your deceit and trickery and tomfoolery end here, for once I capture you I shall have my way with you, and then kill Ryoga!" Maro said, then realized how that sounded. "Uh . . . by 'have my way with you' I mean I'm going to slowly kill you . . . I'm not into that sexual stuff."
"No wonder you're so grouchy!" He heard Nabiki shout from somewhere, followed by Kasumi yelping "Don't talk! He'll hear you!"
"Ah my worthy ventriloquist advesaries!" Maro laughed, knowing full well to go in the opposite direction of the sisters' voices, since they were ventriloquists.
How he had come to the conclusion that they were ventriloquists was a long, long story involving many assumptions about the sisters, including the assumption that they were twins with psychic powers, but sadly very few facts were involved, so as Maro tried to hunt the sisters down by going in the opposite direction their voices had come from he was indeed only helping them to escape.
Nabiki and Kasumi might well have eluded the somewhat . . . well okay, the EXTREMELY stupid would be assassin, however at just that moment an ominous "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!" was heard! Kodachi Kuno appeared, laughing maniacally.
She'd planned to show up at this party and try to force Nabiki into liking Tatewaki with some naughty little drugs she'd packed, but her arrival showed her a better way to accomplish her goal, for she arrived just in time to watch the Nekekami aspirant lay low the entire audience with his illusions.
Illusions which did not work of Kodachi, who was far too twisted to believe in them. For her, illusions, like reality were simply something to change and bend to her will, that was why, even though darling Ranma didn't love her and she knew it, she pursued him anyway, in the end it simply wouldn't matter.
She now laid eyes on Maro, foolishly running in the wrong direction, and revealed herself to him, leaping out form behind the bushes and taking only an instant to correct her appearance before grabbing the idiotic young man by the collar of his jacket and violently slapping him across the face. "Stupid, stupid boy!" She cried, "Nabiki Tendo, while indeed an expert at using her mouth to manipulate people, cannot throw her voice, you nincompoop, you fool, you not so smart person you!"
"Enough of your insults, your breath smells like fish!" Maro cried.
Kodachi's eyes went wild and she slapped Maro twice more, "Fool! You must turn around, see there is Nabiki Tendo and her meddling sister!"
Maro raised a suspicious eyebrow at Kodachi, "Who are you?" He demanded.
"A friend, stupid one, a friend." Kodachi assured him . . . then she slapped him again.
"Some friend!" Maro scoffed, Kodachi slapped him once more, and he turned and ran back into the building, and grabbed Kasumi, holding a knife to her throat.
"Stand still or I'll kill Nabiki Tendo right now and . . ." Maro paused and saw that Nabiki Tendo was standing in front of him . . . he reexamined the terrified young woman in his grasp, seemed to consider the situation for a moment, then sighed. "I mean stand still or I'll kill . . . excuse me, who are you again?"
"K-Kasumi!" The young woman whimpered.
"Ah, the sister! I see. Well then, Nabiki you will surrender yourself to me or I will kill your sister!"
"All right." Nabiki sighed grimly,. "I'll go if you leave Kasumi out of thi--"
Without an instant's hesitation Maro shoved a frightened Kasumi away and lunged for Nabiki, grabbing her and putting his knife to her neck now, "Now I have Nabiki Tendo! And you, none of your monkey business, you will tell Ryoga Hibiki to meet me, Maro of the Nekekami at Furinkan High School's gymnasium before dawn, or his lover's head will be separated from her body . . . which will probably kill her."
The terrified Kasumi nodded dumbly, and Maro ran off. Now Kodachi stumbled into the Koruda dojo, clutching at an imaginary wound, "I held him off, as long as I could, but alas, he hath stabbed me in the lung and my time draws short!" She gasped.
Kasumi rushed over to Kodachi, but the younger woman shouted out, "Stay back! It is contagious!"
"Contagious?" Kasumi seemed confused.
"No time for that now," Kodachi said, "You must deliver his message to Ryoga! Go and find him, he could be Nabiki Tendo's only hope!"
The understandably shaken Kasumi didn't argue, instead looked nervously down a hole in the ground, and Kodachi--on impulse--shoved her down without warning. She was certain that everything would sort itself out in the end.
Kodachi snickered and strolled over to her brother, who was sleeping quite peacefully. She produced a bucket of cold water--never you mind where from--and splashed him with it, causing him to wake suddenly and look terribly disappointed.
"You were gripped by a terrible illusionary attack brother dear!"
Kuno scratched his head and nodded dumbly. Kodachi slapped him too, then shook him, then slapped him!
"A terrible assassin has kidnapped your beloved Nabiki Tendo and taken her to the Furinkan High School gymnasium, there she awaits your rescue, but you've only until dawn, or she will be slain!"
Tatewaki's dumb expression evaporated there, and he became all business, drawing his sword he stood up tall and said, "I will rescue Nabiki Tendo from the clutches of this assassin! It is the skinny one, is it not?" He added.
"No, this one fights with fans." Kodachi said.
"Oh-ho! Then he shall fall easy prey to Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno!" Kuno cried, and ran off. Kodachi snickered to herself, that would help her brother greatly!
Ranma knew he should be feeling nervous, uneasy, but that just wasn't the case. This Jun character, he was going to beat him, it was that simple! He had to be brought to justice after all, and since he meant to kill Ranma, it'd only be that much more impressive once Ranma won without resorting to lethal force. Sometimes Ranma amazed even himself with his incredibly cool . . . coolness.
Anzu certainly seemed nervous, he'd have to protect her no doubt adding to the coolness of his victory, man he was cool!
Cooler than cool!
"Will you stop giggling to yourself?" Anzu hissed, "It's creepy!"
"I ain't giggling to myself ya up tight power ranger wannabe!"
"Well if you're not giggling, stopping shouldn't be a problem!" Anzu shot back!
"Well if I ain't giggling, and I ain't, then how can I stop, on account of I ain't even doing it? I'd have t'start so I could stop!"
"Can you just shut up? Y'know, just not talk please? Can you do that for me?" Anzu asked wearily.
"Bite me." Ranma scoffed.
He thought to himself, about how sorry Anzu would be, how she'd get down on all fours, like the dog she was, and beg for his autograph or something! Oh she'd be sorry all right, once Ranma dazzled her with his incredible martial arts and showed her that nobody was as good as he was!
"Stop giggling!" Anzu snapped, Ranma jumped back a pace.
"I wasn't!" He protested, he really wasn't!
"Whatever! Just stop!" Anzu cried.
Ranma stopped thinking about how great he was . . . or tried to, but it was so hard . . .
With a start he realized that this was going beyond his normal, healthy narcissism, he never spent this much time thinking about himself!
Having soundly defeated Mousse, Ryoga Hibiki, or rather, P-chan, went about planning his next move . . . finding some way of returning to normal somewhere where the cameras wouldn't see him. That was what was important after all, being human again.
He wondered if his defeat of Mousse the duck would count, he guessed that Mr. Tendo would probably find some way to make sure it did, more for his own sake than Ryoga's, but the young martial artist didn't care about that, he just wanted to win this tournament!
He had too, if he wanted to stay with Nabiki . . .
But how to transform back? Certainly in his porcine form Hibiki had no chance of victory, especially if he ran into anyone who even came close to Mousse in skill, it had been Ryoga's good fortune after all, that Mousse had been transformed into a duck.
Of course neither of them would have had to transform if that half crazed, half moronic amazon, who incidentally was not all that tall, hadn't whipped out the cold water!
If that long haired pretty boy had ruined Ryoga's chances at a tournament victory he'd make him pay for it dearly! Man or pig, Ryoga's fury and righteous vengeance would know no bounds! He might even go as far as writing Mousse an angry letter, or perhaps sending him a complimentary fruits basket, and include apples, which Mousse hated, just to properly illustrate his fury!
Wait, did Mousse hate apples, or was that Ukyo? Did either of them hate apples? He might be thinking about something else entirely.
"I don't care how good looking ya are, yer evil!" A voice shouted, and for a moment Ryoga mistook it for Ranma's because of the accent, but alas the voice was more feminine than Ranma's, and less so than Ranko's.
Sure enough, the person to come running across was that wimpy girl whose name Ryoga had already forgotten.
She didn't seem to be being followed by anyone . . . Ryoga sort of scratched his piglet head, or tried to but it was difficult, and by the time he managed it, what's her face screamed and tripped over him! He was upset at first, and she seemed annoyed too, then Tofu's chain saw flew over head, just inches away from the girl's prone form, falling over had likely saved her life! Her way of showing gratitude was to remain on the ground, crushing little P-Chan with her leg which, while shapely, was quite heavy for such a small piggy.
"You cannot evade my Tofu Strike forever, though you put up a valiant effort!" Dr. Tofu cried as the chainsaw, to Ryoga's surprise, turned around and zoomed back to him like a boomerang.
"Yer freakin' loony man!" The girl screamed, then seemed to notice Ryoga, who had begun to nibble on her shin in self defense. "Anzu says she's got problems, and I used t'think my boss was a nitwit, but you're--"
She was cut off by Tofu's shout of "Tofu Vortex!" and the kind doctor, who seemed less kind by the minute, lunged forward, chainsaw leading!
"I cant die yet, I haven't made up for, and have no foreseeable intention to make up for all those sins I've committed!" Tomoko screamed, holding P-Chan up in front of her, then apparently deciding that he was too cute to die tried to shield him with her body, thought better of it almost instantly, used him as a shield again, then decided just to get up and run.
In all that time, Ryoga found it odd that Tofu hadn't closed the distance between them and annihilated the Koruda fighter, but then he realized . . . Tofu had stopped, and seemed to be . . . constipated or something.
Tomoko however knew what he was doing, Tomoko was a great fan of animes and mangas that involved martial arts fighting, and as Tofu began to grunt, groan and look overall, very much like he was having problems with 'number two', Tomoko gasped and said, "My word, he's actually trying to power up!"
Ryoga looked at her incredulously, Tofu wasn't that crazy!
"Tofu Acaram!" Tofu screamed, lunged, waving the chainsaw wildly
"The what the frick with who the fug?" Tomoko blinked at the stupid and unusual name, then Tofu came dangerously close to hitting Ryoga, who decided to bite Tomoko on the wrist, launching the girl into a sprit down the hallways, "Why me? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?" She demanded, and Ryoga's thoughts were something similar.
She held him to her impressive buxom, and Ryoga tried to ignore it, but soon Tomoko was running for dear life, and the piglet clutched to her chest had a bloody nose, resulting in the both of them being covered in blood, which seemed to terrify the teenage martial artist (naturally Ryoga couldn't imagine why) and give Tofu some sort of weird power.
At least he said it did.
And suddenly the screaming, the chase, the fear, the torment all ended . . .
Tomoko, running for dear life bumped into another young woman, one holding a large spatula who proceeded to shout something to the effect of "your mother sleeps with" but Ryoga didn't hear the rest because Ukyo caught sight of Tofu, and Tofu screamed, "Hold her down, that I might collect the munnies and magic bubbles that escape her rotting corpse!"
"Doctor?" Kasumi gasped.
Ryoga could have sworn Tofu's entire body peeled away like a banana, leaving the soft, white, somewhat foul tasting fruit beneath, only in this case the banana was Tofu. He fell to one knee, and patted Tomoko and Ukyo off, examined Ryoga and deemed his nose bleed something less than mortal, finally stood up and said, "Oh Kasumi, didn't see you there!"
Kasumi blushed slightly, and Ryoga did wonder what the heck she saw in that guy, but decided if it kept him from throwing a chainsaw around, then so much the better. Maybe they'd get married and Tofu would be sane again!
Kasumi saw him, and Ukyo shook her head angrily, and picked Ryoga up by the bandanna, "C'mon sugar, this is no time to use your 'special gift' to snuggle up to some hussies rack."
"What the frick?" Tomoko demanded, "What did you call me?"
"We got trouble!" Ukyo explained, casually backhanding the annoying Koruda fighter, Ryoga found it oddly sexy to see Ukyo backhanding people . . . maybe there was something wrong with him . . .
Tomoko sat quietly, trying to absorb the situation, but not doing well, she got sort of distracted when the girl who hit her produced some hot water and poured it all over the bleeding piglet, using that magic trick the older girl used before to transform the pig into a boy.
Tomoko listened as it was explained that someone named Maro had someone named Nabiki and was going to hold her hostage if someone named Ryoga, Tomoko assumed that was the boy now hiding behind the battle spatula, as he adorned himself in the minimal clothing, a scarf, that Kasumi had provided . . .
Tomoko had already been hit on the head for trying to peek behind the spatula, she wondered if there was something going on between spatula girl and this Ryoga guy.
When Ryoga finally came out, wearing a sort of scarf loin cloth and looking utterly annoyed, miserable and embarrassed the girl known as Kasumi lunged forward, throwing her arms around him and weeping, this seemed to disappoint Tofu and Tomoko took a step away from the chainsaw man.
"You have to save Nabiki! You have to get her back!" Kasumi wept, and Ryoga nodded.
"Fear not! I, Ryoga Hibiki will not back down from this challenge, I will not bow to this scum, if he wants to pick on some one, he can pick on me! And if he's put so much as a scratch on Nabiki, he'd better find religion, and fast, because nothing, short of divine intervention is going to stop me from flaying him alive!"
"Very impressive." Tofu nodded.
"Inspiring in it's way." Ukyo agreed.
"Magnificent resolve!" Kasumi wept.
"And a waste of like three minutes." Tomoko pointed out.
They all stared at her.
"Well it was!" She said defensively.
She got backhanded again, but they didn't seem keen on justifying her statement with anything other than that.
"All right, let's find our way out of this maze, and then get to the Furinkan gym!"
"Were with you!" Ukyo said, pointing to herself with one hand, and waving towards Tomoko and Tofu with the other.
"We?" Tomoko frowned, "But look at me! I ain't got my own cloths even, and I am so not going to be seen looking like this!"
"A life is on the line, my sister could die!" Kasumi snapped.
"I ain't met'er." Tomoko scoffed, but did try to imagine how she'd feel in these freakish people's position, so she nodded and said, "I'll do it, but it just seems t'me like were asking fer trouble if we go running inta battle with me in a suit with a blown up front end, and this guy here in underwear!"
"She's right, we need to find my cloths." Ryoga said. "They should be near Mousse . . . or what's left of him." Ryoga said.
"Well, it's an adventure!" Tofu decided, "Together, we four warriors, and . . . ahem . . . K-K-Kasumi, will rescue Nabiki, I should have Jerome Grasshopper record this in the journal, in case I forget later and need a reminder."
Everyone sort of stared at him, then decided there were more important things to worry about and set off, making sure to stay together as they sought out the exit, or at least Ryoga's cloths.
Jun grinned wickedly at Ranma, but of course the young man couldn't see him. Anzu couldn't see him.
Just the way Jun, a real assassin, liked his victims.
Maro might enjoy an indiscriminate explosion that doomed several, maybe even dozens of people at a time, and that was fine as long as Jun wasn't one of them, but Jun preferred to get his job done properly and with as little actual mess as possible.
As he lay in wait, ready to ambush Ranma and Anzu at the exit of the underground maze, it occurred to him that it would be so incredibly easy to simply shoot them both. To end it now.
But he had to make one last attempt to wake Ranma! One last effort to reach the sleeping powers within the boy!
Instead he set his sights on Anzu . . .
They passed under him, "Look, all I'm sayin' is, if you were as cool as me, you'd be giggling too . . . which I wasn't doin' anyway, 'cause I don't giggle like some pansy!" Ranma was saying, and Anzu's reply was something to the effect of "I don't care whether you're giggling or not, we stopped having this conversation like ten minutes ago, don't you know how to drop something? How old are you?"
Jun was not really sure what brought that on, but knew he didn't care either, so he sneered and lunged out from his hiding place, behind one of the many exit signs, gun in hand ready to grab Anzu!
Only to find Ranma's fist waiting to greet him! He felt a terrible pain run through his body then, and felt blood stream from his nose.
He glared at Ranma, a clever boy indeed.
"I know how cool I am, and I know how conceited I can seem," Ranma explained, "but I know when I cant control thoughts of how cool I am, someone is messin' with my brain. I figured it was you." He sneered.
"What are you talking about?" Jun wanted to ask, but didn't. He'd done nothing to Ranma's brain! Still, if Ranma believed him capable of more than he truly was . . . what was the harm?
Instead Jun backed off a step and gave Saotome a slight bow, then drawing a gun in each hand pointed, aimed, and fired in less than a second.
More than enough time for Ranma to react and launch a dozen blows towards Jun, who was helpless to parry them.
The seventeen year old martial artist came on with an abandon that would have been simply reckless for anyone of lesser speed, and Jun was surprised to find that while he was indeed pleased with the performance, Saotome's martial arts skills weren't the subject in question, Jun already knew Ranma was good.
What worried Jun though, was the second thoughts he was beginning to have. Maybe he was foolish, if Ranma's power was what Jun suspected then surely Jun was simply being presumptuous to assume that he could awaken it, especially if that power chose not to wake! Worse, if the power was already awake Jun was tangling with something by far superior to anything he had ever known, anything anyone in his guild could hope to deal with!
For an instant, Jun was afraid of the mere youth that scored blow after blow on him.
But it was fleeting, Nekekami did not fear death, and indeed that was not what Jun was afraid of really, or so he told himself. A Nekekami was a child of death, already dead and therefore unkillable, this he had to believe in his brief moment of weakness.
Soon enough Ranma's blows stopped and the young martial artist offered a friendly face, "That was for stabbin' Anzu over there. Now come quietly, or I'll have to give you s'more."
"Come along quietly?" Jun sneered. "How ridiculous. No my good Saotome, it is you who should come quietly, or poor Anzu there wont live to see the end of her second decade."
Ranma laughed softly. "What d'ya think yer gonna do? Bleed on her?"
Jun just grinned, and attacked!
Anzu had only just heard Ranma say something about his brains when she turned around, in mere seconds that probably felt like minutes or even hours to poor Jun, Anzu saw Ranma thoroughly beat the assassin.
They shared some typical, pig headed male dialogue about how cool they were, and how poor Anzu, who was quite certain she could take the both of them . . . now that they were tired, was weak and helpless.
Then Jun grinned, and suddenly he was coming for her!
Anzu had two seconds, long enough for her mind, working at warp speed to recognize her options were fight or flight, and it was "fight" that she chose, preparing herself for the attack.
And soon she wished she had chosen "flight", for Jun lunged at her, kicked her in the knee so hard that she toppled over and feared the joint broken, a drop kick to her back sent the girl sprawling on the floor.
She felt Jun pick her up by her hair just in time to sample a countering kick from Ranma, one she suspected was launched with the intention of helping her, not hurting her.
Jun now held a gun to her head, and Ranma seemed less eager to fight.
"Let her go." Ranma said crossly, "This ain't no martial arts."
"This isn't about martial arts, it never was, how can one so gifted be so dimwitted?" Jun demanded, pressing the cold gun to her head, Anzu felt herself begin to shake.
Which she thought odd, since she wasn't really frightened . . .
Jun was shaking too, and suddenly Anzu realized that Ranma was too! Everything seemed to be shaking!
Just then the exit door exploded from behind them, along with a bit of the wall, there was a loud bellowing sound that Anzu had never heard the likes of before!
The door came off it's hinges and knocked Jun in the back, he and Anzu went down beneath it. Jun might have easily knocked the door away, but there came a thud, someone had jumped onto the door, making that somewhat more difficult. Anzu twisted her neck to see a young woman dressed all in black holding a pair of long knives, her eyes shining a most unusual gold in the darkness, a dark and evil smile on her face.
"Nihau Ranma!" A blue haired, big breasted bimbo cried, sitting on the back of a moose that was, to be fully honest, the biggest living thing Anzu had ever seen, and if you don't think that's saying something, you've never met Anzu's great aunt Mori.
"We meet again, Master Koruda." The silvery haired youth standing on the door and crushing Jun and Anzu said coolly, it took the girl a moment to realize the knife wielder was talking to Jun, and not her.
"Han, how good of you to come." Jun sneered.
"I would not miss this for a guild master's ransom, preparer to die a traitor's death, Master!" Han sneered, adding a terrible amount of sarcasm into the title of "master" and for just a moment, with that golden gleam in her eyes, Anzu really believed she might just be a match for Jun!
"Stop acting so cool, Shampoo and Moose the ones who break down door while you hide behind tree like sissy!" The bimbo, Shampoo presumably, shouted from atop the moose whom Anzu guessed was probably called Moose.
That remark made Ranma laugh, despite the situation, and stole the golden gleam from Lotion's eyes, changing them to a more normal green. She smiled sheepishly and said, "Yes, well naturally I wanted to . . . I was . . . meditating. Meditating on the situation." The girl said, and Anzu was no longer convinced she was a match for anything.
"Oh come off it, you were hidin' until it was safe!" Ranma jeered.
"Oh do shut up, we came here to rescue you from certain doom and this is how you repay us?" Han scoffed.
"Did you know you're crushing me too?" Anzu asked.
"You are?" Han scoffed, and didn't really sound as if she cared all that much.
"Certain doom? This guy?" Ranma interjected, bringing the conversation back to something relevant to himself. "I had 'im beat 'till you ruined it."
Han seemed surprised, obviously she, like Anzu had thought Jun a terrible and powerful force. Indeed that was what Anzu's father had always said about her uncle Jun.
Han looked down at Jun, who just shrugged, or tried to. "I am rather busy here. I hope your reason for interrupting me is a valid one." Jun said.
Han seemed quite frightened then, and it was contagious because Anzu began to feel nervous as well. The young Chinese girl stammered, then said, "I know what you think they are, and they arent! I know what you want to do to them, and you musnt! I-I . . . I couldn't let you! These ones . . . not these ones, they . . . they love me!"
"Nobody loves you. You're an Unusual. At best you're feared but loved? Oh no, not you." Jun spoke the words as if he'd recited them many times before and Anzu realized he had when she noticed Han mouthing along. "The only love you can ever know is the love of the guild, remember? But now, in standing against me you turn your back on that one and only love." Jun smiled, his eyes darkening.
"I know you, trained you myself. I respect your ability, you are an excellent assassin, the perfect murderer. And so I will offer you a second chance, something I grant to so very, very few. You will stand down, or stand beside me, otherwise you might discover that you have lost your ability to stand at all."
Han scowled, "For my beloved family . . . I would gladly die." Han said. Jun smiled, thinking that she meant their guild, until she pressed her foot against his head. "Too bad you're not part of it any more!" Han hissed, and Anzu felt her lift her weight from the door, to the master assassin's head!
"Lotion!" Ranma yelped, "Don't!"
"It's for the best." Lotion said darkly. "One last time . . . I'll be the evil one this last time."
"Indeed." Jun grunted as Lotion put more and more pressure against his skull, then to Anzu's horror she realized something terrible.
More terrible that is, than the fact that her uncle's head was being stepped on of course.
The realization was that Lotion was all too quickly throwing her weight off the door! Jun obviously realized it too because he threw it up into the air before the Chinese youth could finish crushing his skull, throwing her off balance, and off of Jun!
Anzu thought quickly, and reaching out she grabbed Jun, held him and looked to Ranma for support, he came on quickly, jumping onto Jun, soon enough everyone was piling up on the assassin, someone shouted, "Tie his hands! Tie his hands!" Anzu felt Jun hit her in the side, Ranma grunted.
When the proverbial dust settled Shampoo, Anzu and Lotion stood back proudly as they admired their work, Ranma Saotome perfectly tied and bound.
Anzu allowed the glow of a job well done to sink in for a moment more, then realized, to her horror that Ranma wasn't the one they were supposed to tie, Jun was, and now the assassin was nowhere to be found!
Jun felt Anzu grab him and fought every urge to break her neck. Saotome leapt onto him, trying to hold him, and he felt the busty Chinese girl jump on him, followed by Han herself. It was like his college days, only this was no orgy of affection. In his current position there was little hope of him getting up and free.
Then he noticed something, a gleam in his former apprentice's eyes.
She jabbed Anzu in the side, which made her let go, Shampoo was still holding on to Jun's coat, which he simply slipped out of, letting her have it, he shoved it over Ranma and rolled out of the fray.
He had escaped! And to his surprise, the beating continued . . . on Ranma, who was wrapped up in Jun's coat and therefore, as far as the girls seemed concerned, was Jun.
Jun sneered, "Tie his hands! Tie his hands!" He shouted, just to be mean, then he ran like the dickens.
Whatever "the dickens" is.
He decided then that perhaps there was some hope for Han, perhaps she had not truly turned on him, after all her attempt to crush his head had been ridiculously half hearted. There was no point in trying to wake Ranma again, not just now anyway. If Han could get close enough to him, Jun was sure, she could lull him into a false sense of security and eventually do the waking herself, under Jun's instruction of course.
This would still be his find, his glory, his power!
He thought for a moment about what his next course should be, and decided that he might as well do away with Maro while he had the chance, now that Han was here it would be easier to convince the elders that he'd been performing a legitimate action.
Maro's testimony however could easily condemn Jun and his ambitions, the boy had to die.
To Be Continued . . .
Next Time . . .
Ryoga and Maro fight at last, but all too soon they might just be interrupted by Jun! Can the Ranma crew take on a pair of deadly assassins and win? Is Lotion no longer worthy of trust? Might Happosai of all people provide some unexpected help? Find out next time in Tit for Tat!
Note: The Flashback Nabiki described is a lie, so dont get ticked off. Ryoga will detail the truth (the whole truth and nothing but the truth) in the next chapter. Also, in regards to the person meant to die, it simply made things run too long, and so their death occurs in the next chapter. It's really not who you think! At least I think it isnt . . . hmm . . .
