Yes, I am STILL ALIVE! I got in this weird mode where all I could think was "Anime, Naruto, NINJA!" so that's what I've been reading/writing. I know what you're thinking: "There she goes with excuses again," and, yes, there I go with excuses, but anyway, on another more important note.

VERY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: The story is going to be split into two parts. After this chapter, I am going to write a follow up story called "The Prophecy of the Forgotten", so keep your eyes open for that.

Also, I plan to go and completely re-edit this story. Chapter by chapter, I am going to replace so I can edit grammar mistakes I had before I got my beta or plot errors, add some more detail here or there, nothing big.

Credit: A bit of credit to my sister who helped a little with chapter even though I apparently suck at being a writer and of course credit it to my normal beta.

Chapter 37

Remember

He wasn't quite sure what he first became aware of, but the ground was soft and there was no pain and, at the time, that was all that really mattered. It was bright outside his closed eyelids and he didn't want to risk the pain coming back to him now. The cool hand that rested on his forehead gently began to stroke his cheek, brushing – now unruly – bangs out of his eyes. "You cut your hair." It was a statement, not a question - just a simple observation made by a long-deceased lover.

He forced himself to wake up from his death-induced slumber, and he found himself staring into familiar brown eyes that still smiled down on him fondly, "I can't believe after all the times I yelled at you to tame that wild mess, you chose now to cut your hair."

"Sarah…?"

"Hiya, Ashy," she said sadly, "it's been awhile."

She drew her hands away from him as if uncertain as he sat up, running clean fingers through his raven tresses. "So … this is heaven?" he glanced around, noticing for the first time the pale white wings gracing the smooth curve of her back. "It's very….stereotypical…"

"Jackass." Her response was sudden and out-of-nowhere but not really surprising coming from her. "This is my heaven."

The colors were soft, almost muted, not the sharpness of the real world. It had a very gentle feel, like a child's colored-pencil drawing. He laughed, flashing a rare smile. "I kind of like it."

"You don't have to stay, Ash."

He looked up at her. "I have a choice?"

"Ash," The way she said his name brought his attention to her. "I love you, Ash. I really did, I still do, with all my heart, but there are people on earth who need you a lot more than heaven and I need you right now."

He turned his head away in a defiant silence. "What do you think would have happened if you lived?"

"It's like you said, Ash. 'We're a modern day Romeo and Juliet.' We probably would have gotten married, maybe had some kids. We would have been happy, I swear that to you … but you can't ask 'What If' questions. You can't change what's already been; besides, I think there is someone else that can love you more than I ever could."

Again, he made no answer. "Did you have a choice?"

Now it was her turn to turn away. "I … yes."

"I guess it would be pointless to ask why."

Silence.

And more silence…..

Finally, to break the uncomfortable and increasingly-awkward moment, Ash cleared his throat, plucking nervously at the grass, "so, uh – did Black make it up here?"

"Yes."

"Did he really?"

"Don't sound so surprised, we play Bridge with James on Thursday nights."

"Hm." He stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face, one look of amusement, the other of pure disbelief. "Right….needless to say…I am little surprised I made it here myself," he trailed off, eyes going distant, "after all I've done…"
"Ashitaka, you don't believe what Voldemort said to you…do you…?"

He just continued to stare off over the grassy hills.

"You didn't kill me, Ash. Voldemort killed me, you were just sucked into his deception; you don't have to run away anymore."

Skeptical silence was his only response. "Sarah," he finally whispered, heavy lids closing over omniscient eyes, black wings wilting with deep sadness. "I've spent most of my life wallowing in my guilt, working so hard to keep everyone away so I don't hurt them…so they don't hurt me. You're asking me to forget everything that has happened to me. Do you know how hard that is?"

"No. No, I don't, and I won't begin to even pretend I do, but you learned to trust me and the world learned to trust you. Maybe you can finally learn to trust the world again."

A sharp cynical laughter escaped his throat. "The world? The world turned its back on me a long time ago. I'd be lucky to make it out of the hospital before they sent me off to Azkaban."

"You really don't realize what you did down there, do you?" she sighed at the wide innocent look in his eyes, a hint of exasperation and frustration in the small gust of air. "You saved the world, Ash. No one's going to punish you for that. You fulfilled the prophecy; of course you also screwed up mini-Potter's prophecy, but no harm done."

"I guess Trelawney did make correct predictions after all." He chuckled. "About that, you sure The Boss is okay with that?" he lifted his eyes skyward as if expecting a bolt of lightning to smite him on the spot.

"You saved His people; I'm sure He can overlook that minor detail."
"Good, my people really don't need another war."

And there it was. That unsaid confirmation that he wasn't going to stay with her. And as happy as she was that he was going to go back to his people, she felt that first pang of loneliness that she hadn't felt in a long time, that empty hollowness in the spot of her heart that she had reserved for him. But she couldn't feel remorse, not after all she had just told him, he needed to be loved and she couldn't love him, but Lea could.

"Goodbye, Lord Ashitaka."

He looked up, a bit startled by the sudden formality, but seeing the gleam in her eye told him of her ruse, but he didn't look away this time, even when she went in for a hug, wrapping her slender arms around his slowly disappearing form.

"I always loved you and always will, Ash."

"I know."

"Goodbye."

He was gone, the breath of his last word still lingering in the air, "Farewell."

………

"Please, you promised you'd stay with me."

His eyes slowly drifted close.

"Please, damn it, don't leave me again."

But she realized, as a final exhale of breath escaped his lips…

It was too late.

He already had.

Why do I love thee?

Her hands were warm with his blood, a disparity to the cold body she still clutched to her chest, her own tears bathing his war-covered flesh. The chaos around her had faded to nothing but the absence of his heartbeat, the death of his breathing, even as the sobs wracked her battle-wearied body, the last bit of hope for his survival had disappeared to a hollow absence in her heart, a desperate plea to turn back time.

Let me count the ways.

"Oh God, Ash…." A wave of reality hit her. "Damn it, you promised you wouldn't leave me again." Even as she felt the solid beat of the heart beneath her fingers she held his body tighter, her open wings draping around them, her heart fluttering with every broken breath he took.

"Ashitaka…."

His battle of life and death was a taunting game, every breath he took a pawn was moved, every beat of his heart another of Death's pieces was destroyed and his first word spoken was the checkmate of his enemy's king.

"Lea?" His voice was weak, a shadow of its former strength and commanding tone.

Somewhere I have never traveled, gladly beyond …

No more words were spoken.

Just touches of disbelief as he came back to her, fingers entwining in a loving grasp, as for one more time they were pulled apart, his body limp against the cotton sheets that held him and caressed his beaten form, as he was taken away to be saved.

Any experience, your eyes have their silence.

And saved he would be.

Because he promised he wouldn't leave her again.

TBC in "The Prophecy of the Forgotten"